:: Musings, Thoughts, Quirks, and Cats ::

:: Thursday, August 30, 2001 ::

Forced to go out shopping for school stuff yesterday. Oh God. The money to pay for it came out of my school account. Three shirts, three pairs of pants, two boxers, two binders, two 200 sheets of paper, all on sale. For what? $160.

Good God. Holy crap! What is this?? I hope the kid in the sweat shop appreciates me buying this stuff. It's unusual that no matter how many clothes I have, I NEED more for school when it starts up, according to my Mom. But I gritted my teeth and bared it, knowing that arguing with her over clothes is pointless.

*waves farewell to his money*

Also bugged on down to BC Housing on Kingsway and said "Hey, I won your bursary, so where's my money?" the tactful way. They checked through my confirmation of registration at Douglas College, then told me the cheque for $750 dollars would be mailed to me by next Friday. Then we went to the Post Office for my Student Loan. I got in line and waited 15 minutes before discovering I had to have a section of the document signed and filled in by my bank. So I went to Van City, fixed that up, and dredged back to the Post Office and spent ANOTHER 15 minutes in line. I got to the crabby old lady behind the desk.

"Sign this, this, and this, fill this out, sign here, and here and here, and fill this out from the information on here." She hands me another sheet to fill out that basically says the same thing as my Provincial Student Loan doc. So I have to get out of line and sign through all these picking sheets. They all are written in some language made up from English, Latin, and Bureaucratese. I sign it anyway, just barely understanding what it's saying.

Then back for another 15 minutes in line. Over all, I spent an hour going through all these slavery forms.

Let's translate some of this BS:

1) This Direct Loan Agreement (hereinafter referred to as "the Agreement") is between Her Majesty in Right of Canada as represented by the Minister of Human Resources Development (hereinafter referred to as "the Minister") and Steven Gregory Cameron Ferguson (hereinafter referred to as "I" or "Me").

- This paper used to be the Royal Toilet Paper, but is intead being used to sign away your liberties into servitude, curteousy of the Canadian Government.

2) Advances: I acknowledge receipt of an advance of $[sum I'm not telling you], as indicated on my Certificate of Eligibility, issued by the Province of British Columbia. I promise to pay the Minister the amount of the advance with interest, in accordance with the Additional Terms and Conditions.

- We may be giving you money now, but you're going to be paying us back a WHOLE lot more. Don't expect to live in West Vancouver upon receiving your money.

4) I certify that all information contained on the Canada Student Loan Program's Certificate of Eligibility and in this Agreement is true and complete in every respect. I will notify the Minister immediately of any changes to that information.

- Just because we lie doesn't mean you can. If you omit, lie, or change any of this information without telling us, we will assume it's because you don't want to pay us back, and we will take every opportunity to hunt you down and slaughter you and your family.

6) I hereby acknowledge receipt of a completed copy of this Agreement and agree to be bound by all the Terms and Conditions set out in this Agreement.

- We will now take your soul.

"You're an accident waiting to happen, you're a piece of glass left in on the beach."
:: Steve Ferguson 12:00 PM [+] ::
...

As I sit here reading The Bastard Operator From Hell, I notice the noise and din of my youngest brothers is still reaching a crescendo. In fact, the volume continues to rise at an alarming rate, so much so that I feel the need to pull some moves on them that you would only expect to find in The Matrix.

Leopard's Guide To Younger Brothers

1) Showing Compassion - This means even if you couldn't care less. When one brother runs to you, and complains that the other has stolen his toy, demonstrate that you understand and are 100% on his side. When the other one comes down and complains that the first one peed on his bed, sympathize completely and say you are 100% on his side. This way, you can never be the bad guy in a scenario, and the two might even begin to fight as to who's side you actually are on. This is rather fun to watch. Of course, when they ask you directly for a solution, the following phrases are handy:
"Hmm..."
"Let me think."
"This is one of life's lessons. You must decide it for yourselves."
Naturally, this last statement will cause them to fight some more. And when a parent comes to intervene, your brothers will not blame you, because you were on their side the whole time.

2) Establishing Some Simple Ground Rules - Rather self-explanatory, but here are some excellent examples:
- Don't go into my room.
- Don't touch my stuff.
- Don't talk to me.
- Don't touch my stuff.
- Don't fart near/on my friends. (this has happened FAR too often with me)
- Don't touch my stuff.
- Don't eat my lunch.
- Don't touch my stuff.
With these rules, you must also inform them of the consequences for their actions. Death normally suffices, and, if you're like me, you carry knives in your room anyway. There is one slight problem though:
When You Share A Room With One Of Your Brothers! Believe me, this is a royal pain sometimes, because you can't kill him whenever he walks into the room. So you must establish some simpler consequences. Castration for example, should suffice. It worked for the cat.

3) What To Do When Caught Playing With Their Toys - Let's face it, some of their toys are cool and you must wonder why fools like them even own those toys. Why, they'd look so much better on display on your headboard. For example, I hardly saw the justice behind having my then 8 year old brother have Depth Charge, a Mega Beast Wars toy. He sure couldn't transform it! The toy is about half a foot and I knew that I must experiment at least once with it. So what do you do when they catch you redhanded? My favorite excuse is "I was fixing him." This one doesn't always work though, so the next course of action is "Actually, [insert other brother's name here] was playing with it and I took it away from him before he could break it." This one usually works, unless he was just playing with that brother downstairs. But if it does work, it usually causes a fight, where you can insert yourself as demonstrated in Section 1.

4) Eating Their Halloween Candy - Guilty as charged. I have on many occassion snuck a few of their Mars bars or whatever. Hell, I don't Trick-Or-Treat anymore, so they can at least share a little. Now, you automatically think that you must do it when they're not around. THIS IS WRONG. Do it in their plain sight. If they're in the same room playing with each other, eat it then. They'll never know you took it. Plus, if a parent sees you eating it with them around, they'll logically assume that they let you have it. They aren't complaining after all. Next, you probably would want to take one at a time to ensure a clean getaway. THIS IS ALSO WRONG. Get three or four. That way, if your brothers actually catch you taking their candy, tell them that you're actually sneaking them some to spoil their dinner, and they aren't to tell Mom you let them have candy. Finally, if when eating some candy one of your brothers holds up one sweet and can't identify it, offer to identify if for him. Then you eat it. When your brother protests, pretend to be sick and comment on how disgusting it was.

5) Actually Breaking Up A Fight - There are sometimes when you're babysitting and you MUST break up a fight. There are some factors to consider.
- Who is closest to tears?
- Who is most likely to blab to Mom about the movies you were watching?
- Who sleeps in the same room you do?
If the answer to those three questions is only one of the combatants, you have your winner. By allowing this brother to win the arguement, you can kill a few birds with one stone. Namely, improve his mood before a tantrum arises, ensure he won't tattle behind your back, and allow you to sleep peacefully without the vengence of a ten year old upon you during the middle of the night.
If the answer to those three questions varies, you might actually have to solve the problem justly. Sorry.

"So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?"
:: Steve Ferguson 11:21 AM [+] ::
...

Hey, got my Archives up and running. That wasn't nearly as complicated as I thought. It actually didn't need the FTP path. It didn't work when I entered the path, but as soon as I left it out...Go fig.

Go take a look, it's on the sidebar here, and one of the links on the main page.

"Silence all, nobody breathe. How in the world could you just leave?"
:: Steve Ferguson 2:24 PM [+] ::
...

The following is a conversation I would like to have sometime between me, Stephen Hawkin, John F. Kennedy, and Tarzan.

Me: Hi guys, what's up?
SH: I just finished postulating a new type of collapsed star that actually spews out time and matter from the universe. You see, if everything in the universe has an equal and opposite reaction, then there must be something that balances with black holes. So I call this new type of singularity a "White Hole".
Me: Hey...wasn't that in an episode of "Red Dwarf"?
SH: Uh, no.
Me: Oh, never mind then. What about you John?
JFK: Well...nothing.
Me: Why nothing?
JFK: I've been dead for 40 years.
Me: So? What type of lame excuse is that?
JFK: Yeah, so I still could have run for Congress, I know.
Me: Or become the member of a boy band.
Tar: Me Tarzan tired of talking! Tarzan must find Cheetah and save home!
SH: Sit down and shut up.
JFK: How come we always invite him over for tea, anyway?
Me: Why not? He's quite entertaining.
Tar: You no understand. Jungle, my home. Run like wild, feel wind! Free like jaguar. Cheetah run with Tarzan, run together, run like wind to save home from people. People attack Tarzan! Tarzan strong like elephant. Tarzan resist, like silent. Cheetah friend, Jane friend, Tarzan strong!
SH: That got boring.
JFK: Can someone shut him up?
Tar: You attack Tarzan home!!

*Tarzan leaps at JFK and begins to tear off his shirt*

JFK: Oh my God!!!
Me: Told you this would be entertaining.
SH: I really must go. This company is starting to degrade my own intelligence.
Me: What's wrong with having tea with a fictional character and a dead man?
SH: Good bye.

*Hawkin leaves. Tarzan has now ripped off JFK's arm, and is beating JFK to death with it*

Tar: Tarzan save jungle!! Tarzan save home! Tarzan strong like elephant!
JFK: He's going to kill me!!!
Me: Don't be stupid, you're already dead.
JFK: Screw you!
Me: All right fine. Tarzan, I've got a newton for you.

*Tarzan stops his tirade against JFK*

Tar: Is fig newton?
Me: No, Isaac Newton.
IN: What the hell?
Tar: Tarzan like Newton!!! Tarzan run Newton like cat!

*Tarzan starts chasing Newton around the living room*

Me: Hey, John, I hope you don't think Ape Man got carried away there.
JFK: He tore off my arm.
Me: Coming back next week?
JFK: Like hell. Go find Madonna or something.

*JFK leaves*

Tar: Tarzan like Newton!!!
Me: Yeah, good boy Tarzan.

I really must control my imagination.

"I left home three hours ago and I can still see my house from here!"
:: Steve Ferguson 4:27 PM [+] ::
...

I forgot the most important one. Please regard #7.
:: Steve Ferguson 11:59 PM [+] ::
...

I think in order to understand people, you need to know some basic human personality protocols. As rational humans, we have certain tendencies in place that effect the way we think and view things. I present to you:

The Human Behavior Protocol

1) People avoid unnecessary confrontation - Most people shy away from dangerous, uncomfortable, or frightening situations. If you have the option of walking down a well-lit street at night, or a dark alley, and both would take you to your destination at the same time, logically you would take the will-lit street. And also, if you're fighting with someone, you want to avoid them for a little while to allow you time to rationalize the situation. People avoid things that will get them into trouble. One possible exception is ten year olds.

2) People long for companionship - People spend most of their lives looking for a member of the opposite sex to become intimate with. In teenage years up until the early thirties, it's mostly for sexual reasons. But overall, people will want the intimacy achieved through lexical intercourse, as opposed to sexual. Getting to really know a person is something all people long for. Of course, some people place it at the top of their priorities, while others will have it almost nil. But it is there.

3) People are afraid of what they don't understand - This has lead to many different confrontations in the past, which is contradictory to the First Protocol. Early in the millenium, people were afraid of Jesus and what he had to say. They killed him. People were afraid of what Martin Luther King Jr had to say. They killed him. Germans were afraid of the Jews. Caucasians were afraid of the Africans. Christians were afraid of the Muslims. Muslims were afraid of the Sikhs. Americans were afraid of the Russians. You get the idea. This is just a quick glance through history. Right now, in Afghanistan, the government is afraid of outside influences. It's why children are afraid of the dark. It's why early explorers heard the mournful cries of wolves and were afraid.

4) People are anxious to learn - Again this contradicts both the First and Third Protocol, but is still relevant. There are always the brave frontiersmen who push the boundaries of our present knowledge to find out something no one knew before. Exploring the oceans, exploring space, diving with sharks, climbing mountains. Even though kids say they hate school, this isn't actually that true. Think about it for a second. Go to Africa and other third world locations. The children there are so anxious for a real education. That means, that in our first world locations, we only hate school because we've always had it.

5) People are contradictory - This explains everything actually. People are made up of two equal and opposite halves. An emotional and a logical. These sides are independant, yet cooperative at the same time, nor can they seem to function without each other. It is very frequent to have both these halves wanting two opposite things. This is called, of course, internal conflict. Say you want a chili dog. Your logical side says "It will give you indigestion. It contains many by-products that can not be healthy for you." Your emotional side says "It tastes good! I like it. I want to have it." Sadly, more often than not, the emotional side wins.

6) People want approval - Everyone wants approval for something they've done by somebody. It builds the person's ego, and this isn't a negative comment. They will want acknowledgement for something good they've done, or something they've worked really hard on. Whether it be from a friend, family, or boss, approval is a big thing. It can be simple too. "Will he like me more if I wear this perfume?" "What will she say when she finds out I failed my driving test?" "What if he finds out I'm so ugly?" These are built into us.

7) People are stupid - This is not an attack on anyone personally. But let's look at humans and how stupid they really are. Although a person may be smart and perfectly rational, people will always panic and do something entirely stupid. For instance, if any major years roll around, people will commit suicide. Why? Because the world is going to end, obviously. (eg. 2000). Or where's the logic in spending a hell of a lot of money on a Porsche, then go roaring down the streets at 150 km/h and cutting off semi's? And who would follow a religion made up by a science fiction author anyway??? (L Ron Hubbard's Scientology). And just how many Pokemon movies do we need? How many Power Ranger sequels? How many Boy Bands? And for crying out loud people, Pauly Shore isn't funny!!!

These are the about the same for every individual, and if I think of some more, I'll add them. But right now, I have to tutor some Mexican lady in English.

"Who do you need, who do you love when you come undone?"
:: Steve Ferguson 1:39 PM [+] ::
...

Well, this is fine and dandy. Lynx keeps disconnecting me. This must be the fourth time I've dialed up again to the Net. I wonder if I'll be online long enough to successfully post this Blogger.

You know, most guys think their genitals are good for only one thing. And you know, I tend to dispute this. Now let's think about this here for a second, isn't it great to pee? Seriously, let's try holding it in for half an hour as you type mindlessly on the computer to mindless people about mindless things, and you must continue this mindless behavior, neglecting your biological functions. Then, at last, you run to your washroom and evacuate. Think about how it feels for a second. Relief relief relief.

Now, you're asking why am I making such a big deal out of taking a whiz. Well, I was reminded briefly of an encounter at camp I wish to share, for future reference.

We had just spent the afternoon at Splashdown Park, as part of Cub Composite Camp. The temperature was 32 and I had to make sure all my charges were hydrated. Maybe I did too good a job. We climb into the bus, and are soon roaring down Highway 99 back to Langley. It's a 40 minute trip and about 25 minutes into it, Michael (one of my kids) says "Spots, I have to go pee."

"We're almost back at camp, wait a few minutes."
A few minutes go by. "I have to go NOW."

Now, I know the human bladder will expand to hold urine if necessary. We're on a highway here. So I tell Michael I'll ask the driver if there's anywhere we can stop for him to pee, but I already know the answer. So I ask, and of course, the answer is no. "Michael, we've got 5 minutes before camp." I lie. "Just wait."
Within a minute, Michael is in tears. "I've...got to go...I've...got to go...NOW..."

I tell him to think about something else. But the tears keep falling and I think "Oh great." That's when Sabre (Chris) comes up with a great idea. He passes down a two litre empty pop bottle. Izzy (Jeremy) gives it to Michael and says "Pee in there."
MIchael's eyes shoot out of his head and he shakes his head. "No!!"
I tell Michael: "Look, either pee in the bottle, or hold it in."
Michael looks shocked. He was NOT going to pee in a bottle on the bus. I allow myself a smile. Ha! Scared the kid into holding it in. He's crying his eyes out, but he's holding it in. Soon, we turn onto the street to the camp. Two more minutes. Hey, he's held it this long.

We must have been thirty seconds from camp when Izzy (Jeremy) taps me on the shoulder and whispers in my ear. "He's using it." I look back at Michael, who has tears streaming down his face, one hand griping the seat in front of him like mad, and the other hand out of sight. Some of the other kids wanted to watch (God knows why), so I told them to sit straight and keep their eyes to the front.

As soon as the bus stopped, Michael zoomed off the bus like a madman and spent the next ten minutes in the bathroom, after he had peed half a litre into the bottle. And half a litre is a lot for a ten year old. We disposed of the bottle without the kids seeing, and told the kids Michael did NOT use the bottle, he made it to the bathroom.

A bit of a lie, but for a good cause. The other kids would have torn Michael apart verbally for peeing in a bottle.

Remember, peeing is wonderful.

"Meeting you with a view to a kill."
:: Steve Ferguson 2:44 PM [+] ::
...

Oh God, I've been up for only an hour and I feel terrible.

First, when I woke up, I had an unusual sensation with my feet. It felt like one of my leopards (which I keep at the foot of my bed) was alive. And then I felt something breathe. My eyes shot open and I looked at my feet. One of my cats, Aurora, had actually pushed one of my leopards off my bed and taken it's place. She meowed at me, and I meowed back at her.

So I got up and went into the bathroom, to do the ritualistic Superman. As I'm splashing some water on my face, I hear a breath outside. I automatically assume it's Doug in his room. I leave the bathroom with my housecoat on, and I can smell the slight scent of cigarettes. My mind associates that with Robert, but I assume it's in my imagination. I pick up the phone to call Danielle, seeing as how I couldn't do it last night. When I pick up the phone, the line is busy on this end with the Internet connection. Mark's online. Great. So I put the phone down, and start to head downstairs to bark at Mark to get off.

Robert leaps up the stairs at me, hissing. But this hiss he did shot through my brain and landed on a memory. A memory of a nightmare, that wasn't actually a nightmare. My experience in Grade 9 at night. I shrieked in fear and flew backwards, my brain scrambling as I tried to blot the eyes out of my memory. Soon, my logic replays the last minute and I realize it's Robert. I run to the stairs, but he's already gone. I run downstairs, and he leaps back at me, hissing again. This time, I grab his bottom jaw with my fingers and throw him down the stairs.

Scaring me is a hard thing to do. But Robert found the right combination. I don't even know why he's here right now. Is he trying to overstay his welcome? He's doing a good job.

"It's all just psychobabble to me!"
:: Steve Ferguson 12:28 PM [+] ::
...

Got the whole Danielle ordeal worked out. Could have done without Mark acting like an ass, but still.

I had a dream last night. I had travelled back to Grade 10, when I met John and Jeff. They were much younger than in reality, and I can't remember for sure what I was doing back there. But I do know that I knew I was from the future. I hid among the shadows and watched myself interact with them.
I watched as I met Danielle for the first time, although it was brief and non-eventful. I watched as Mrs. Granville taught us about static electricity.
And there I stayed in the shadows.

This is interesting because I've been dreaming of travelling back in time a lot. Back within my own life, but it's still rather intriguing.

"Ain't always black and white, who cares anyway?"
:: Steve Ferguson 4:17 PM [+] ::
...

Spent the weekend on Bowen Island. Watched Event Horizon and Gattaca. Those are great movies, they really are. I really enjoyed both of them, and should have seen them sooner. Oh well.

Just looking at the calender here. Two more weeks of Summer and that's it. That sucks! That can NOT be right. God, remember in Elementary school, where summer was a lifetime? A whole year unto itself? And now, summer is just ten weeks. Bleh.

Mark and I fought last night, five minutes after I got home. You see, Danielle needed to be picked up from Tsawwassen, and was offering to pay gas, so I asked to go do that. Mark said no. I asked why not. He said it didn't matter why not, the answer was no. This hardly seemed fair. My mom told me it was because we didn't know when Doug had to be picked up later. I asked what if he needed to be picked up at six or something, then I could get Danielle. Insert Mark screaming his head off that no should be good enough. The louder he got, the quieter I got. When I get so mad I start to get quiet, watch out! You've just pushed ALL of my buttons. My mom told Mark to shut up for a second. She told me she also was getting off of work at that time. Insert more of Mark's yelling.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER!!! NO MEANS NO!!!"

I swear, I would have slugged him if I wasn't so against violence. I asked mom if she couldn't take the train home, but it would be late, and workers from Save-On have been jumped before. So, my mom and I came to a solution. I was going to take the bus, and meet Danielle there.

Mark's yelling was completely pointless and counter-productive, but then, we already know that, don't we?

"If I could, you know I would, if I could I would let it go..."
:: Steve Ferguson 11:32 AM [+] ::
...

Hey, listen to this. Got this a week or two ago:

"Based on the information provided by the school, this student has satisfied British Columbia credit based graduation requirements with Honours Standing, as of June 2001. This student has participated in these programs: Career Program Health."

I did? What is "Career Program Health"? How did I participate in it? What did I learn?? Apart from that bit, it appears I graduated with Honours! What??? This came as a shock, given I got a C- in both Math and Chemistry. So I looked over the sheet, and to my pleasant surprise, found they counted my Grade 11 marks as well. That made a lot more sense. My Grade 11 marks were far more impressive than Grade 12.

So, tallying up my 11 & 12 GPA, I come out to: 3.43
Wait a minute...did I do that right? Ah, screw it. Whatever.

Anyway, apparently I got 90% on my CAPP 12, which is interesting considering Mr. Meharg lost my folder before he got the chance to look at it. But hey, I'm not going to argue. Ha ha, he was so pressed for time, I didn't even have to dress up for my interview.

Aside from that Career Program Health, there's another course I got an A in that I've never heard of before: "CP Applied Communication Technology 11". What is that?
Is it a bad sign when the Ministry of Education (Or shall I just call it Minipax?) gives you an A in a course you never took / learned anything from?

"You used to think I was nice, now you tell all your friends that I'm the Anti-Christ."
:: Steve Ferguson 12:13 PM [+] ::
...

Ah yes, I do believe it's time for my "Z Gods Conspiracy".

Now, as any of you in the Lower Mainland are aware, there is a popular radio station called Z 95.3. This radio station plays a HELL of a lot of Pop, some rap, and the occassional rock. I used to listen to Z quite frequently, however as of late, I tend to fluctuate between stations now. One reason is because the constant commercials drive me up the wall.

But here's the main reason: The Z Gods need satiating. The Z Gods demand a Sacrifice every month. This Sacrifice takes the form of songs, of course. The only way to sacrifice this song is to PLAY IT TO DEATH. You will hear the Sacrifice being played at least three times every hour. If you think this is an exaggeration, you are mistaken.

"So stand by me!"
*sheep bleating* BAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
"Bye bye bye!"
BAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
"Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide"
BAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Addendum: Any song by the following bands/singers are automatically sacrificed:
Backstreet Boys
N'Sync
Janet Jackson
B44
KC and Jo-Jo (sounds like a kid's cartoon series about a box of cereal)
Bare Naked Ladies
Shania Twain
Britney Spears
Christina Aguilara (Or however the hell you spell her name)
Mandy Moore
Joee
O-Town (hiss hiss)
Hammy The Hamster (I can't dispute this one TOO much; he'd make a wonderful roast)

"This Wreckage I call me would like to meet you soon"
:: Steve Ferguson 6:58 PM [+] ::
...

You know, me being jealous about Robert and Danielle is silly. It really is. She finds him just as annoying as I do. We both know how nice he is, but he does have a tendancy to be a nuisance. Mind you, so do most people. This isn't an attack on Robert, he's a very good friend of mine.
I felt...I just got Danielle back, and I realized my feelings were resurfacing. And then I found out they spent the week together. I felt like I was going to lose her to Robert. Mind you, I was tired, very tired after my week.

What do I do exactly? Our relationship is getting closer and closer again. And I am so happy. And when I look into her eyes...

Meanwhile, I spoke to Joel, Danielle's ex-boyfriend. *sighs* He speaks about their relationship with such indifference. I would have loved, just loved, to be with her like he was. Bastard.

On another note, Mark has been saying that Man is above animals, and far more important than them. With this view, he sees a justification for his treatment of them like below him. What he must realize is that we all depend on each other, and show them all respect. He seems to think he's so right about everything. Annoying as Hell.

"When the Big One finds you, may this song remind you that they don't serve breakfast in Hell."
:: Steve Ferguson 11:57 PM [+] ::
...

To better describe my emotional state, I feel that U2's "Out Of Control" from their album Boy speaks loud words. I am going nuts...

Read it:

"Monday morning
Eighteen years of dawning
I say how long
You say how long
It was one dull morning
Woke the world with falling
I was so sad (so sad)
It was so bad

I was of a feeling it was out of control
I had the opinion it was out of control

Boys and Girls
Go to the school and girls
They make children
Not like this one

I was of a feeling it was out of control
I had the opinion it was out of control

I fought fate
There's blood on the garden gate
The man says childhood
It's in his childhood
One day I'll die
The choice will not be mine
Will it be too late
You can't fight it

I was of a feeling it was out of control
I had the opinion it was out of control"

Sometimes, a song really can speak louder than mere words. Plus, a catchy beat helps.

"I'm so happy, feeling snappy!"
:: Steve Ferguson 12:01 AM [+] ::
...

I just spent the day with Danielle.
I took her to church, introduced her to Dairn and a few others. Then we went to the mall, she had lunch and I sat with her. After that we went to the park, and spent a few hours just talking.
It was heaven. It's like everything's going to be okay again.
I don't think she thinks of me romantically in ANY way...and I won't force it. I'm just so happy to be with her again.

"In my dreams, I was drowning my sorrows, but my sorrows they learned to swim"
:: Steve Ferguson 8:46 PM [+] ::
...

There goes that week. Boy, it went by fast. As for the Camp Blog, bah, to Hell with it. It's far, far longer than I thought it would be and would take me forever to write.

Jessica and I were kinda, ehm, getting to know each other. But she's just turning 15, man. I went down some water slides with her, we sat together, and I told her "I would really like to get to know you better."
She bobbed her head a little (?) and said "Oookay." Now, this confused the hell out of me. I meant, literally, to get to know her, not to date her (just yet). But God, when Lavose was hitting on her, I wanted to smack him one. She did too, mind you. Nicole sorted it out, and told her that I meant what I said literally, and there was no hidden meaning So things cleared up. I added her to my MSN.

Robert and Danielle....I don't know what to think. I spent a year trying to get Danielle to come to Youth or Church. Robert comes in, and after a couple weeks, she's coming.

!!!

I don't know how I feel. I'm feeling...jealousy. It's negative but... They told each other that they were attracted to each other, but decided not to go out. Robert didn't want to hurt me for one.
Danielle never expressed interest in me....
Talked to Meghan about it, and she empathized completely. Spoke about this blond girl hitting on Eric, and how that made her feel. Boy, I don't know how I feel. I mean, I still...feel...

Oh great, you know what this is? The mood swings. That's why I'm hurt over this. My feelings are out of wack. I'll go tomorrow to Church. I'll have to go to bed early.

"Gory, gory, what a heck of a way to die, and he ain't going to jump no more!"
:: Steve Ferguson 7:25 PM [+] ::
...

Well, another week of Cub Composite Camp for me.
I'm going to be gone until the 10th. Yeah, I"m hoping Jessica will be there. And I found Ari on ICQ (I think). I'm pretty sure it's her. The e-mail matches to a previous ICQ account that isn't in use, but has information that matches her. So.... *juggles that in her head* it should be her.
I was feeling bad because I never got to say goodbye.

Back to camp I go. And Nate's going to be there... Oh well.

"I give you my love, still you walk away"
:: Steve Ferguson 1:31 PM [+] ::
...

You know what? I listened to that song by Eve featuring Gwen Stefani, "Blow Your Mind". And it reminds me of that song "Get Your Freak On" by Missy Elliot. And I've come to the same conclusion for both songs:

I don't like female rappers.

Not that I have something against women! Not at all. I just think it sounds like stupid trash. And have you seen their music videos? Both the videos and songs reflect sex, with more aggression than a praying mantis. It scares me in a way. I don't see how it turns some people on. But you know, now that you mention it, I can form a similar conclusion about male rappers:

I don't like male rappers.

The gang violence, the wife beating, the excess sex, it's all rubbish. And the only exceptions are Will Smith and Tupac. Either doesn't promote anything but just likes rapping. Will Smith raps for comedy, Tupac rapped for how he felt.

Tupac was shot. Will Smith is...in NeverNeverLand as far as I know.

As for Eve, that guitar riff is pretty catchy, but God, I don't want to listen to her rap. And Gwen Stefani? Whatever happened to No Doubt, Gwen? First you had to murder "Southside" with Moby, and now this? I don't mind Gwen, but I think she should stick to her alternative crazy band. She's cool then.

Enough griping for now.

"Don't let go, you've got the music in you."
:: Steve Ferguson 12:13 AM [+] ::
...

Whoa!! I just got up an hour ago, and I'm still reeling from this dream I had. Most of my dreams are spaced out, and just plain nonsensical, but not this one...this one was good:

I was Captain of a starship, the RST Daedulus. Daedulus was kinda weird in the sense that we only had a crew of about eight. However, we did have five robots who helped maintain the ship, where they were presently. My crew and I were investigating an odd set of murders on the planet Corhi VII. Just like Star Trek, everyone here looked human.
As my crew and I were walking down a street that vaguely resembled Rumble by Royal Oak, we passed many people who were just going about their day.
Tyson, a man in his early thirties and the navigator, was running a scanner around. "I don't see what the problem is. Things look all right, and there's no sign of any unusual energy discharges."
"Keep a look out anyway. There have been thirty unusual deaths in this area within three days."
Park, an attractive woman who must have been my age or close and the duty medical officer, snorted. "Then why are people roaming the streets?"
"Good question. I guess they don't listen to the Ministry." We were all wearing our black uniforms, and holstered plasma disruptors. The weapons looked like Bond's Walther PP7, but had another barrel on the top and an enery readout indicator.
The other crew nodded their agreement. Apart from me, Tyson, and Park there was also:
Bollock, the mechanic, a man with slicked black hair and a moustache.
O'Neil, the communications officer, a man with red hair and an unending suppy of energy.
Copeland, the scanner officer, a woman with long blond hair in a ponytail.
Brooks, the damage control officer, a tall black man.
Jenkins, the robotics engineer, was a bald man although he must have only been in his mid-thirties.
Anyway, the eight of us were passing by a bank that resembled the TD, when several screams broke out from random directions. "Break into four groups, and investigate." I ordered. "Brooks, you're with me." And the two of us ran more to the east, while the other three groups split to their seperate directions. Brooks and I had just ran a few meters when there was a snarl behind us.
"It's a cat!" Brooks exclaimed.
A man who was walking by the cat got the worse end of it. The cat leaped up, and decapitated him in one swipe. "Oh my God." I said. The cat's eyes glowed an unusual color, and it charged us at an unusual speed. Brooks and I started running, and a lot of people started running with us.
"I don't think that's really a cat!" Brooks told me, as he fired a shot off at it. "Our weapons have no effect!"
"Damn!" I shouted as I hit it square between the eyes with one of my shots. The shot had no effect, as Brooks had noted.
A woman behind us tripped, and within a second, her head had been sliced off.
"Weapons to maximum level!" I yelled. Brooks nodded, and we both stopped in our tracks, turned and fired at the cat. The cat was blown away by the sheer force of our guns. This setting was general reserved for destroying tanks, and rarely used, as the gun tended to overheat.
Imagine our surprise when the cat got back up. All it's fur had evaporated of it's body. "Just as I deduced, it's a robot." And was it ever. It's sheer metallic body was streamlined metal, but it seemed to have some kind of energy shield hugging it. "The shield's absorbing all of our energy...power down the gun to level four, I've got an idea." The cat started after us again, and both Brooks and I took to running.
"Lothos: replicated sonic grenade." I commanded my wristwatch. Now while you're wondering why I hadn't done this all along, I understood that Lothos required an extreme amount of energy, and asking for such complicated objects was always to be only a last resort.
My wristwatch glowed, and a sonic grenade formed on top of it, held down by some kind of tether to keep it from falling off as I ran. I removed the tether and picked up the sonic grenade. I pushed the button on the top.
"5...4...3...2..." I tossed the grenade at the robotic cat. "Every down!! Cover your ears!!"
Brooks and I hit the ground, as did the other running citizens. As the grenade hit the cat, it exploded in noise. It sounded like an amplified hurricane, but also had a highpitched scream. It felt like my teeth were rattling out of my skull. Finally the noise subsided. The cat lay twitching on the ground, it's energy shield gone.
Brooks leveled his gun and destroyed it in one shot.

The crew and I regrouped together. They had all encountered the cat creatures, and found their weapons ineffective. "I had to shoot a stack of bricks over top of it." Copeland reported.
"Well, I think first of all, we're going to have to trace where these things came from." I stated.
Jenkins rubbed his chin. "They aren't from this planet. They simply don't have the technology available to build these types of devices."
I nodded. "Let's get back to the Daedulus and check the import listings."

As we assembled at our posts on the bridge, O'Neil began to check with the customs officials on the planet. I pushed in my interface. "Daedulus."
"Active." came a feminine voice.
"Query: how many ships have entered this system, apart from us, within the last week?"
"Five ships - two luxury liners, one Royal Space Traveller: the RST Promagnum, two cargo carriers."
I deactivated the interface. "O'Neil?"
O'Neil finished his inquery with Corhi VII. "They've only had one cargo carrier come in, an oats barge from Ter."
"There was a second cargo carrier according to RST logs."
"I know, and I asked them about it. Corhi VII has no record of it." O'Neil reported.
"Where did that second cargo carrier come from?" I pressed.
"According to RST database," O'Neil ran a few commands in his console. "Reddock."
"That's impossible. Reddock has no planets. Why didn't RST see that?"
O'Neil shrugged. "RST doesn't actually check every manifold. Most of them are just logged into the database."
"Jenkins, what planets have the capability to make those things?"
Jenkins sighed. "Well, not too many. You have to realize that what we saw was incredible technology. I daresay most planets haven't developed the type of shielding to take a maximum plasma burst."
"What planets can?"
"Well...just one. Yuggar Three."
"That's a medical colony."
"Yes, and they don't actually make any of those shields. They just could."
I sighed. "I suppose we might as well look around Reddock. Maybe there's something to be found there. Tyson, head us off the Reddock, top speed."

"What is that?" I asked Copeland. Upon entering the star system with the lone red dwarf star, we had noticed a bizarre wormhole just off the sun.
"Some kind of wormhole, but I'm not sure." Copeland reported.
"Well, let's keep our distance until we can work out--"
"Captain!" Tyson broke in. "We're being drawn into the wormhole!"
"All engines, full reverse!" I shouted. As the Daedulus tried to respond, several consoles blew out.
Nova 1, one of the robots, rushed over and began effecting repairs. The 5 Nova robots had the same basic design with slight variations. Nova 1, I must guiltfully admit, looked like Johnny 5 from Short Circuit. The other Novas looked like him, but some had differently shaped heads, or smaller bodies, or different type hands, or something like that.
"Warning: engines at maximum. Overload in 5 minutes." Daedulus chimed.
Tyson started to sweat. "We're still being pulled in. No change in speed."
"Send off a bouy, broadcasting a warning not to enter this system." I ordered.
"Done!" Bollock shouted.
"Shut off engines! We may need them later!" I shouted.
Tyson shut off the engines and we plummeted into the wormhole.

The wormhole shot us off into another galaxy, in orbit around a bizarre planet of a dark purple.
"Report." I called.
"Slight engine damage, minimal. We'll be back to full in half an hour." Brooks said.
O'Neil frantically started flicking switches on his board. "I'm getting tons of distress signals from the planet beneath us."
"Status?"
"All automated."
"We should take a look anyway. There may be people still alive down there. Gear up, let's go. Daedulus: paranoid mode." I ordered.
"Now entering paranoid mode. All unknown vessels are considered threats, and are giving three chances to back down. If they have not by the third chance, contact crew. If crew can not be reached, attack all unknown vessels, guarding the position. Teleport beam scrambler activated."
We piled into a teleport pad, and transported to the surface.

It looked like a big house. A really big one. We drew our weapons and looked around. Park brought out her scanner and read the readings. "Multiple life signs...no movement though."
"Stay sharp people. Let's stay together." We moved from the main hallway into another wide hallway. All along the sides of the walls, there were people covered in some kind of mucous membrane. "My God, what happened?"
Park scanned them. "They're all in stasis..."
A roar sounded down the house somewhere. Roars followed it from every direction. "Looks like we woke up the guard dogs." Bollock noted.
"Daedulus, get us out of here."
"Unable to comply. Lock out in place."
"Someone's stopping us from beaming out!" Park stated. The roars were getting closer, and there were more of them.
Suddenly, a horrendous monster jumped out of the shadows and skewered Park. Park hit the ground. I shot the creature which disintigrated with a scream. "Damn!! Park!!" She lay on the ground, dead.
More creatures leaped out at us, and we were shooting like mad men. "We need reinforcements!" Brooks shouted.
"Novas 1 through 5: suit up in full battle mode, and join us on the surface NOW!" I called to the ship.
Within a few minutes, the 5 Novas had beamed down. My hunch was right. For the time being, we could beam down but not up. "Nova: battle mode."
"DESTROY HOSTILES." The Novas lowered their charged laser packs and started shooting through the creatures. However, the more that fell, the more that came.
Finally, the Novas were overpowered and slashed to pieces. "The Novas have been incapacitated!" Jenkins shouted.
It didn't take long, but my crew were being slaughtered. All around me, they died, falling to the ground at the power of these creatures. "Daedulus, stand by for emergency landing procedures!" I screamed. I killed a few more before being killed myself.

Sometime later, another vessel came across the Daedulus floating adrift in orbit.
The captain tried hailing the Daedulus, but only received the following message: "Standing by...standing by..."
The captain gathered his senior officers and beamed aboard the bridge, where the lights were low.
"Captain look at this." the lieutenant said.
"Robot interface. The had robots in the crew." the captain noted.
"It looks like the robots aren't here anymore." the commander said. "Otherwise we would have run into them."
The captain walked up to the computer. "Computer."
"Standing by...standing by..."
"Halt stand by."
"Active."
"Query: where are the crew of this vessel?"
"The crew of this vessel are on the surface."
"What is this vessel's registration and origin?"
"RST Daedulus of the Royal Space Traveller Exploration Fleet, commissioned 2367 at Earth in the Sol System."
The commander frowned. "I don't know of that system."
The captain nodded. "I don't believe they're from this galaxy. Our sensor did detect a wormhole in this area, although standard protocol dictates we must avoid it." He turned to the computer. "Query: what was your last command?"
"Captain Ferguson ordered a stand by for emergency landing recovery procedures, after ordering reinforcements from the ships compliment of robot crew, the Novas."
He turned to the commander. "Why do you suppose it let us turn off the standby?"
The commander shrugged.
The captain turned back to the computer. "Query: how long have you been waiting for Captain Ferguson's signal?"
"367 years, 3 months, 15 days."
"What happened to the crew??"
"Unknown. Possible hostilities."
"Thank you Daedulus. Commander, we're going to the surface."

The crew of that ship transported down to the surface of our last signal. Immediately, they came into the hallway with all the people frozen in stasis in the mucous membranes. The ensign picked up robotic remains. "These robots were smashed to pieces, but we can reassemble them with their memories intact."
The captain nodded. "Take them back to the ship and see what you can do. Make sure they're unarmed and understand we come in peace."
"Captain!" the medical officer shouted. "I found the crew."
And there we all were, against the wall, covered in mucous with all those other people. "Good God." the captain muttered.
"They've only been in stasis for a few centuries. I can bring them out of it."
"What about those responsible for this?"
"I don't know."
The captain thought for a moment. "All right, get them out of there."

And my dream ended. I woke up feeling angry that I missed the end, but I think it will make one hell of a story!
:: Steve Ferguson 2:33 PM [+] ::
...

Spoke with Meghan yesterday, and I found out something which has raised conflicting feelings inside of me. She really likes this Cam guy, but I think that the sooner she breaks things off with him, the better. Ah well.

Robert brought over his old Nintendo!! YEAH!! He's letting us borrow it. Doug and I have been going down memory lane playing all our old Nintendo games, although we couldn't find most of them. We beat Chip N' Dale Rescue Rangers, and DuckTales. I spent the morning playing Super Mario Bros, the original, and got up to 5 - 2 without any troubles. Strangely enough, I remember all the cheats, secrets, and special moves. Must have been locked in my memory. Kinda freaky that it's coming back to me now.

Finally, my cursed Camp Blog is up and running. I've only written the first part, and there's still six more to go, although they'll probably be shorter.

"Don't fake it when it comes to making money"
:: Steve Ferguson 4:00 PM [+] ::
...