GELFs

   There are many GELFs (Genetically Engineered Life Forms) in Red Dwarf.  Most of them aren't pretty.  Here they are:

The Polymorphs

    GELFs designed to be the ultimate warriors, there was only one problem: They're insane.  But they do seem to be the most popular GELF.  The first time we've encountered them was when Red Dwarf passed by a waste pod containing two.  They encountered just one first and thought it was the only one. Lister lost his fear, Rimmer lost his anger, Cat lost his vanity, and Kryten lost his guilt.  They managed to kill it, even though it was only through a stroke of luck.  We don't know how they killed the other, but we know that they did. The next time, it was a young Polymorph.  It managed to sneak aboard Starbug, and sucked out Cat's cool, élan, and grace, and Rimmer's snide, bitterness, and negativity.  Cat turned into Duane Dibbley and Rimmer turned into Ace.  Rimmer was going to flush the Polymorph, himself, and the Cat into space, since Kryten and Lister were in the engine room.  Lister and Kryten broke out of the engine room and convinced Rimmer that they could extract the emotions from the Polymorph. Together they tracked the Polymorph into the engine room. Once there, they froze the Polymorph and extracted the emotions.

The Pleasure GELFs

    Only mentioned once, the pleasure GELFs were designed to be the perfect mates. However, their own feelings were neglected and they fled, hoping to find a cure for the illusions they cast(although they could focus and reveal their true form, this took immense concentration). A ship carrying one such GELF by the name of Camille crashed on a barren moon.  Kryten responded to the distress signal, despite Rimmer's objections. There he discovered Camille and he saw her as a a mechaniod, specifically a series 4000 GTi (with realistic toes and a slide back, sunroof head) and the two fell in love. They returned to Starbug, despite Camille's objections, and once there, Kryten introduced her to Rimmer, who instantly saw her as a hologram (who also bared a strong resemblance to his step-sister).  He fell in love with her and they returned to Red Dwarf. There Lister met her and saw her as a cross between Kochanski and himself, and he instantly fell in love with her.  When a bizarre conversation between Rimmer and Camille took place before Lister's eyes, he confronted her, and she admitted that she was a pleasure GELF.  Lister later told the Cat that if he went in, he would see his perfect mate.  Cat went in and saw himself. Camille talked to Kryten and told him that she didn't show him her true self because she loved him and he would be disgusted. He didn't believe her and she showed him she was just a huge green blob that "belongs up the Sphinx's nose".  He invited her to Parrot's bar on a date to prove he still liked her and they went and had a fabulous time. But then Hector, Camille's adrogenous mate arrived, and Kryten borrowed a few lines from Casablanca to make sure she went with her husband.

Psirens

    Psirens are a special type of GELF that reads the person's mind and telepathically alters the person's perception. The hapless person sees, like the pleasure GELFs, whatever will get the Psirens their objective.  Their objective: to suck out people's brains.  They make themselves appear to be friends, lovers, or people you've always lusted after. When Lister met the Psirens, he first saw a person he lusted after all through his puberty, Pete Tranter's sister. He couldn't resist and was soon necking with the insect-like beast.  The thing was stabbed in the back by "Kryten", but the Psiren made the mistake of calling Lister Dave.  It isn't shown, but we know Lister also saw the TV Weather girl from Channel 27. However, when Kryten let Lister inside Starbug, another Lister appeared outside and demanded to be let in.  They couldn't tell which Lister was the real, until Kryten challenged both Listers to play the guitar.  Given that Lister thinks he can play the guitar, but can't in reality, the Psiren shared his delusion and played the way Lister thinks he can play.  They instantly shot the Psiren, but it got away and Kryten had to track it through the engine room.  It assumed the form of Kryten's creator, Professor Mamot.  She ordered him into the waste compactor and because he could not disobey his creator, he was soon crushed.  Lister and Cat soon followed Kryten down, and saw the Psiren as a pop machine. The Psiren knocked the two out easily and was choosing who's brain to suck out first, when Kryten, now a crushed cube, smashed it on the head, killing it.

GELFs: Kinatawowie

    No one is sure why they are just called GELFs, but they are not friendly.  One of the more friendlier tribes is the Kinatawowie.  The Kinatawowie keep a Polymorph as a pet, which caused trouble for the crew later.  The Kinatawowie had an Oxy-generation Unit, which the crew desperately needed and in order for them to get it, Lister had to marry a GELF bride, who's name is Khakahahakhaaakhakakaka. He ran fast and furious when he discovered what the night time plans were. Later, the GELFs prevented Kochanski from getting home by firing on the linkway between dimensions and gave chase through a frozen planet.  Over all, the Kinatawowie want Lister back as a mate.
 

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