Questions:
    "Lister, have you ever been hit over the head with a welding mallet?  No?"  Rimmer to Lister; The End.

    "Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?"  Lister to Holly; The End.

    "So what d'you do?  Have a few friends round, give 'em a sherry and invite 'em to watch you snuff it?" Lister to Rimmer regarding Arnold J. Rimmer---A Tribute; Me².

    "'Share'?  What is 'share'?" Cat to Lister; Me².

    "Well, what's that one about 'Your father was a baboon's rump, and your mother spent most of her life up against a wall with sailors'?" Rimmer asking about an insult to Holly; Kryten.

    "How did you know my nickname was 'Bonehead'?" Rimmer to Lister; Kryten.

    "A space suit with cuff links?" Rimmer to Cat; Kryten.

    "You can't take him anywhere, can you?"  Holly, about Rimmer screwing up BTL; Better Than Life.

    "What is it???"  Cat, for the millionth time about the stasis leak; Stasis Leak.

    "Do you think Wilma's sexy?" Lister to Cat regarding The Flintstones; Backwards.

    "Uh, Starbug 1 ?" Kryten guessing at Starbug's registration; Backwards.

    "Still snowing, is it?"  Rimmer, about the obvious blizzard, to Lister; Marooned.

    "You're going to eat the dog food?"  Rimmer to a starving Lister; Marooned.

    "Something that long ago in history may well have performed a certain popular Jewish operation?  I'm supposed to eat with this?"  Cat regarding Lister's chose of utensils; Polymorph.

    "What are they homing in on?" Rimmer, about the heat seeking laser bolts, before realizing it's the Cat; Polymorph.

    "Is this the human value you call...friendship?"  Kryten with a hangover; The Last Day.

    "A Smeeeee-heeeee?" Rimmer contemplates Kryten's insult towards him; Camille.

    "So what is it?"  Cat, for the millionth time (again!) about the white hole; White Hole.

    "Mish?"  Rimmer, concerned about Lister's liquor induced language; White Hole.

    "You don't like Reggie Wilson?  What?"  Rimmer is shocked; Dimension Jump.

    "Smoke me a kipper---Can you do that?"  Ace to the ever useless Rimmer; Dimension Jump.

    "Why don't we lower the defensive shields?!?"  Cat, before he found out there are no defensive shields; Holoship.

    "Are you serious???"  Number Two, slightly sarcastic, to Rimmer's request to join the crew; Holoship.

    "That's your case?!?"  The Cat-Inquisitor to Cat justifying his existence by having a beautiful ass; The Inquisitor.

    "You need more?!?"  The Cat to the The Cat-Inquisitor about the previous line; The Inquisitor.

     "Rimmer...He's my best mate, isn't he?"  Lister with amnesia; Psirens.

     "There's an old human saying: 'Whoever heard of a wormskin rug'?"  Rimmer's retort to Cat; Psirens.

    "I mean, we're in mortal danger, and you're worried about the Chinese delegates bringing two cars?!?"  Kryten to Rimmer misquoting an All Nations Agreement article; Gunmen of the Apocalypse.

    "Plead you do how?"  The Space Corps Enforcment Drone to the baffled crew; Emohawk--Polymorph II.

    "How can we change what's happening???"  RIMMER IS BRAVE!!!; Out of Time.

    "You want me to go back in time and assasinate...myself?"  John F. Kennedy to Lister's appeal; Tikka to Ride.

    "A night and a day...in the bed of my good lady???"  The King of Camelot to Lister of Smeg; Stoke me a Clipper.

    "That's what they say, but where's the evidence?"  A slightly stoned off of Ultrazone Able to Kryten; Beyond a Joke.

    "That gives you more reason to live than me?"  Epideme to Lister, when Lister says he's the last man alive; Epideme.

    "We'll let them have another go at it, okay?"  Kochanski to the muscle-enhanced Lister; Nanarchy.

Insults:
    "Rimmer...you are a smeg head!"  Todhunter to Rimmer; The End.

    "I know I'm not supposed to speak ill of the dead of anything, but you're still a smeg head." Lister to Rimmer; The End.

    "YOU GOIT!" Rimmer to the future Lister; Future Echoes.

    "You're getting fat, aren't you?!?"  Paranoia to Lister; Confidence and Paranoia.

    "I'd rather live upside-down in a toilet bowl."  Cat's reply to Lister's offer of living together; Me².

    "Souper."  Lister's tactless Gazpacho soup joke to Rimmer; Me².

    "Your nickname was never 'Ace'.  Maybe 'Ace-hole'."  Lister to Rimmer; Kryten.

    "Mr. Arnold is not his name.  His name is Rimmer.  Or smeghead.  Or dinosaur breath.  Or molecule mind. And on the very rare occasions when you want to be really mega-polite to him, you may, in those exceptional circumstances, call him asshole."  Lister explaining the fundamentals of life to Kryten; Kryten.

    "Encore."  For Rimmer dropping dead, said by Lister to Rimmer; Kryten.

     "That's right, suckers!"  Holly, in Queeg's voice, to everyone; Queeg.

     "Bye bye, birdseye!"  Cat to Red Dwarf ; Marooned.

    "You'll bonk anything, won't you Lister?"  Rimmer to Lister, who appeared to be bonking Kryten; Polymorph.

    "Screw you, Hadron Head!"  Kryten to Rimmer after he lost his guilt; Polymorph.

    "Shmeeeeee-heeeeeee!"  Kryten to Rimmer; Camille, Quarantine, Gunmen of the Apocalypse, Stoke me a Clipper.

    "You're a complete and total smeghead."  Kryten to Lister; Camille.

    "He is only guilty of being Arnold J. Rimmer.  That is his crime.  It is also his punishment."  Kryten defending Rimmer; Justice.

    "The man's a maggot." Ace to Lister about Rimmer; Dimension Jump.

    "You've got no soul, man.  No soul."  Lister to Rimmer; Holoship.

    "Liar!" The Rimmer-Inquisitor to Rimmer; The Inquisitor.

    "You are a slimy, despicable, rat-hearted, green-discharge of a man, aren't you." The Rimmer-Inquisitor to Rimmer; The Inquisitor.

    "Well, get out of this one smeghead!"  The Lister-Inquisitor to Lister; The Inquisitor.

    "Oh, that Rimmer."  Lister to Kryten when Rimmer was booting up; Psirens.

    "Lister, tune into Sanity FM."  Rimmer to Lister; Psirens.

    "An insult?  Okay, you're a fat, bearded git with breath that could concuss a grizzly."  Rimmer, or Dangerous Dan McGrew, to Bear Strangler McGee; Gunmen of the Apocalypse.

    "Rimmer's two pounds away from being a Sumo Wrestler!"  Lister to Cat and Rimmer about the future Rimmer; Out of Time.

    "I was only insulting him this morning."  Cat about the perished Rimmer (actually Ace); Stoke me a Clipper.

    "I never want to see or hear from that scum-sucking, weasley, lying smeghead for as long as I live." Lister after The Rimmer Experience ; Blue.

    "Not if you were the last man alive."  Kochanski to Lister; Epideme.

Memorable Quotes:
    "Everybody's dead, Dave."  Holly to Lister, after Lister left the Stasis booth; The End.

    "He won't find that one 'till he changes his shoes!"  Cat, after doing some funny business in Rimmer's closet; Me².

      "I suppose you're going to fail me for this."  Kryten to Rimmer after crashing Starbug; Backwards.

    "Well.  Pretty obvious what gets eaten last.  I can't stand Pot Noodles."  Lister; Marooned.

    "This isn't a meal; This is an autopsy!" Cat to Lister; Polymorph.

    "One swift knee in the happy sacks, he'll drop like anyone else!"  Lister about the Polymorph; Polymorph.

    "At least he gets 24 hours. That's better than most of us get. Most of us get: 'Mind that bus!' 'What Bus?' Splat." Rimmer to Lister regarding Kryten's predicament; The Last Day.

    "Take the fifth!"  Cat to Lister, when Lister is asked to describe Rimmer; Justice.

    "You know what your problem is, Kryten?  You're a git."  Rimmer to Kryten; Dimension Jump.

    "Smoke me a kipper, skipper, I'll be back for breakfast."  Ace to Lister; Dimension Jump.

    "Mister Flibble is very cross."  Rimmer, about his hand puppet, after contracting the Holo-Virus; Quarantine.

    "What happened to my butt?!?"  Cat, upon seeing his future self; Out of Time.