GFW 2006

May 2006

Well the scheduled Gym Wars date has come and gone. No show as the event has been pushed back. What else is new? Did anyone expect the GFW to be a consistent fed? Of course not, that's why we're no longer on TV, just buy up all those damn DVD's and shut the fuck up. Last time we checked Jugernaut had gained two hundred pounds and was having health problems. Looks like his arteries were clogged from chowing down all that fast food he likes so much. Defending the world title to Rod Gazinya seemed like the least of his worries. Jugernaut is more concerned with not having a heart attack. So lets see what the latest is since the date has been moved back on Gym Wars and if there is an alternative to the chance of this old timer risking his life in a GFW ring.

"Jugernaut.....you are the champion of the GFW and you have a responsibility to get yourself motivated enough to step into the ring to defend that honor. I don't care if you have IV's hooked up to your arm or whether you can't walk around the ring cause you've gained two hundred pounds and need an oxygen tank. This isn't a charity organization. You won't get any hand outs from me. Your health is your responsibility. You must step into the ring and defend that belt against Rod or you will be stripped of that title and I will tarnish that thing you call a legacy."
Dick means business and he should. Afterall he is still half owner. While Jugernaut owns the other half, he is not bound by his own rules when it comes to him defending his championship. Besides, Rod earned his shot the old fashioned way. He had to beat everyone in the Ringmaster tournament. Not only that but, Ringmaster was held in the WoW under WoW rules. You can't fake something like that. It's the real deal and it's time Jugernaut paid the piper. We cut to a promo hyping the upcoming event.

Yeah that's a farce if there ever was one. The commercial shows Jugernaut from years ago in a sad attempt to sell DVD's. If the GFW were stupid enough to put his current self on the cover and in the promotional work it would get mocked all over the wrestling business. It's not like they aren't already mocking the GFW as it is. Just cash in and fuck the people. We only want your cash so shut the fuck up and buy, buy buy! We cut to the #1 contender.
"Look this is rediculous. He I am busting my ass getting into ring shape and gettign ready for a highly contested match and my opponent is woofing down chili dogs, wheeling around an oxygen tank. Yeah Jug...you bought half the GFW but, you can't buy the GFW championship. You heard my brother. If you don't get into the ring so I can whoop your ass, he's gonna strip it off your fat ass and give it to me. Do you want that? Do you want to go down without a fight? Well you do what you want. We can do it the easy way and I can get on with defending it to real contenders or you can hog the spotlight. Better yet....how about you get your dimwit kid to defend it for you? I know you two don't get along but, he can at least walk on his own. I'm gonna feel bad when they bury you after out match. Might as well let me teach your kid some manners. You don't like him anyways....must have been a mommas boy. Either way that belt is mine and it will be around my waist after Gym Wars!"
About the only highlight that could come out of any of this is the hype surrounding the return of the Nesterman. He hasn't been out of the asylum since what WoW's King Karnage? He is beyond lost in this world. They keep that motherfucker strapped to a dolly and wheel him around feeding him cabbage. He doesn't even speak. How could the Gazinya's convince him to show? Probably just a publicity stunt anyways. Who cares, just buy the damn DVD and shut the fuck up.