King Karnage is Now Finally Set in Stone!
The scene opens backstage just following WoW's Malice. We can see paper and trash cluttering the hallways as a janitor walks by with a dust mop and continues down the hall. The camera turns to a wall that has a King Karnage promotional poster hanging from it as it zooms up closer.
WoW Heavyweight Champion Richard Gazinya
VS.
Challenger Sweet Cheapshots
The camera stays focused for a moment before a door is heard opening and then heard slamming shut. The camera turns only to find the WoW champion himself, the one and only "Slippery" Dick Gazinya! The champ strolls out,still wearing his gold Armani suit, gold rolex and his trademark shades while he carries his championship belt in his left hand. Dick walks to the end of the hall and stops at the King Karnage promotional poster and takes off his sunglasses, only to slip them into his jacket pocket. Dick's eyes scroll up and down the poster as he skims over the card but, stops at the WoW championship, Hell in the Cell match. He turns to the camera...
Dick- My match isn't even the headlined match at the pay-per-view? What is this all about...is Cheapshots really dragging me down to his level?
Dick shakes his head and rips the poster down onto the floor and walks off down the hallway to the exit as he puts his shades back on. As Dick begins to push through the door, none other than Ralph Lillard appears from the right with a microphone in hand.
Lillard- If I could...could I get a word from you Dick?
Dick stops and lets the door close then turns around and nods his head at the newest host of WoW Ruffhouse.
Lillard- We all saw what happened earlier as Malice went off the air. A big surprise in Rage making his return and he doesn't appear to be very happy with you!
Dick pulls his shades of with a look of anger as we can see a huge bulge on the champions forehead from the chairshot he took, curtousy of Rage. "The Dick" pulls the microphone closer then looks into the camera and speaks.
Dick- Rage...Rage huh? What the hell gives this curtain jerker the right to interfere in my business..."The Dick's" business?!! Well let me tell you something Rage, I used to whip your ass back when I first came to the WoW and I'm about to do it again! You see Rage, I've busted my ass far too long to have you come out here and try to pay me back for all the humiliation I've caused you...that was then, this is now! I gained my first popularity in the WoW by wiping the mat with you and your cousins, brothers and whatever freak you brought out to the ring with you! Whether it be TormenT with the capital "T" or that no pupil, spit spewing sidekick, Chaos..."The Dick" will wipe your face across every wrestling mat from here to the west coast! "The Dick" shouldn't have to watch his back and he won't at King Karnage! The match is set...Hell in the Cell...nobody is going to get involved, it's "The Dick" versus "The Cheap 1" and while that's going on Rage maybe you should just sit back and watch you monitor because your going to see a match like you've never seen before! Your going to see a match that takes more intestidal fortitude than you have in your little finger! You sit back and watch because your going to see the same thing that the millions and millions of "Dick-Heads" are going to see and that is a show of sportsmanship...a display of athleticism...and the best damn match the WoW has to offer! If you taste what "The Dick" is spewing!
Dick slips his shades back on as Ralph stalls the champ from leaving.
Lillard- Please, I have more questions for you...many are wondering whether or not you are concerned with what kind of repurcussions that Darren might have in store for you?
Dick- Repurcussions? "The Dick" says this...you want repurcussions? I'll give Darren repurcussions if he ever gets involved in my business again! I've said it all along and finally I think it has sunk in...Darren has realized that I'm his meal ticket and that I'm the meal ticket of every single wrestler on this roster! I carried the WoW on my shoulder and I carried my tag team championship belt on my other shoulder! Darren may have been able to take the tag team belt from me but, he isn't taking the WoW! I'm the brightest shining star to ever set foot in this business and after King Karnage when I deliver the biggest spectacle of all matches against "The Cheap 1" and finish him off with the "Gazinya Family Tree", you will all know that Dick Gazinya is not a fad...that I'm not the "flavor of the month" but, that I'm the "flavor of the decade!" "The Dick" is going to deliver at King Karnage it's just too bad that Darren had to exercise his political power to drop my title defense below the King Karnage finals...trying to do anything to steal my spotlight! The only problem is that I am the whole show and those people are paying thirty-nine, nighty-five to see "The Dick" and not some backyard wrestling, harcore King Karnage finals! That's ok...I'll just use that as an excuse to leave directly after my match with this...
Dick points to his championship belt, drapped over his shoulder.
Dick- This belt isn't leaving my shoulder, Cumshots...errr...Cheapshots, you can do whatever you gotta do but, I'm going to out class you. You can jump me from behind, you can gang up on me but, when it's one on one in the Hell in the Cell, I'm going to smoke you dawg...just like you smoke Dick! One week away, your comeback comes to an end and it's gonna get ended by "The Dick!" Be a Dick, mess with Dick, get "Dicked" little man!
Dick pushes the microphone out of his face as Lillard looks on, stunned as the champ exits the arena. Ralph closes his segment before a special animated logo appears on the screen...
Dick- My match isn't even the headlined match at the pay-per-view? What is this all about...is Cheapshots really dragging me down to his level?
Dick shakes his head and rips the poster down onto the floor and walks off down the hallway to the exit as he puts his shades back on. As Dick begins to push through the door, none other than Ralph Lillard appears from the right with a microphone in hand.
Lillard- If I could...could I get a word from you Dick?
Dick stops and lets the door close then turns around and nods his head at the newest host of WoW Ruffhouse.
Lillard- We all saw what happened earlier as Malice went off the air. A big surprise in Rage making his return and he doesn't appear to be very happy with you!
Dick pulls his shades of with a look of anger as we can see a huge bulge on the champions forehead from the chairshot he took, curtousy of Rage. "The Dick" pulls the microphone closer then looks into the camera and speaks.
Dick- Rage...Rage huh? What the hell gives this curtain jerker the right to interfere in my business..."The Dick's" business?!! Well let me tell you something Rage, I used to whip your ass back when I first came to the WoW and I'm about to do it again! You see Rage, I've busted my ass far too long to have you come out here and try to pay me back for all the humiliation I've caused you...that was then, this is now! I gained my first popularity in the WoW by wiping the mat with you and your cousins, brothers and whatever freak you brought out to the ring with you! Whether it be TormenT with the capital "T" or that no pupil, spit spewing sidekick, Chaos..."The Dick" will wipe your face across every wrestling mat from here to the west coast! "The Dick" shouldn't have to watch his back and he won't at King Karnage! The match is set...Hell in the Cell...nobody is going to get involved, it's "The Dick" versus "The Cheap 1" and while that's going on Rage maybe you should just sit back and watch you monitor because your going to see a match like you've never seen before! Your going to see a match that takes more intestidal fortitude than you have in your little finger! You sit back and watch because your going to see the same thing that the millions and millions of "Dick-Heads" are going to see and that is a show of sportsmanship...a display of athleticism...and the best damn match the WoW has to offer! If you taste what "The Dick" is spewing!
Dick slips his shades back on as Ralph stalls the champ from leaving.
Lillard- Please, I have more questions for you...many are wondering whether or not you are concerned with what kind of repurcussions that Darren might have in store for you?
Dick- Repurcussions? "The Dick" says this...you want repurcussions? I'll give Darren repurcussions if he ever gets involved in my business again! I've said it all along and finally I think it has sunk in...Darren has realized that I'm his meal ticket and that I'm the meal ticket of every single wrestler on this roster! I carried the WoW on my shoulder and I carried my tag team championship belt on my other shoulder! Darren may have been able to take the tag team belt from me but, he isn't taking the WoW! I'm the brightest shining star to ever set foot in this business and after King Karnage when I deliver the biggest spectacle of all matches against "The Cheap 1" and finish him off with the "Gazinya Family Tree", you will all know that Dick Gazinya is not a fad...that I'm not the "flavor of the month" but, that I'm the "flavor of the decade!" "The Dick" is going to deliver at King Karnage it's just too bad that Darren had to exercise his political power to drop my title defense below the King Karnage finals...trying to do anything to steal my spotlight! The only problem is that I am the whole show and those people are paying thirty-nine, nighty-five to see "The Dick" and not some backyard wrestling, harcore King Karnage finals! That's ok...I'll just use that as an excuse to leave directly after my match with this...
Dick points to his championship belt, drapped over his shoulder.
Dick- This belt isn't leaving my shoulder, Cumshots...errr...Cheapshots, you can do whatever you gotta do but, I'm going to out class you. You can jump me from behind, you can gang up on me but, when it's one on one in the Hell in the Cell, I'm going to smoke you dawg...just like you smoke Dick! One week away, your comeback comes to an end and it's gonna get ended by "The Dick!" Be a Dick, mess with Dick, get "Dicked" little man!
Dick pushes the microphone out of his face as Lillard looks on, stunned as the champ exits the arena. Ralph closes his segment before a special animated logo appears on the screen...
Sweet Cheapshots