The Morning of a Dick!!
The scene opens early in the morning in front of the gate at the Gazinya estate. The birds are chirping as the sun begins to rise. Soon the cameras head up the long winding walkway until the scene changes to the champ, Richard Gazinya's luxurious bedroom. We can see a large king sized bed as "The Dick" lays on his side, sleeping on his pillow. Beside the champ are three lovely ladies, one of them being Cumiesha. They all appear to be sleeping until the alarm clock on the stand goes off once the time hit's five in the morning. Dick pops his head up and turns the alarm off, He sits up on the side of the bed and slips on his slippers while the ladies all lay in bed. The champ finally stands up to show off his very own Dick Gazinya pajamas as he walks over to the nightstand where his WoW championship sits. A huge smile comes across his face as he picks it up and looks at his reflection through the gold. Dick drappes the title over his shoulder as he walks into his own personal bathroom and begins to pose in front of the mirror.
Dick- Damn, I'm bigger than I thought...
Dick smiles and turns the faucet on as he begins to brush his teeth and wash up. The champ pushes the door closed then we goto a few minutes later. The door opens as Dick stands there in a gold Armani suit, a gold rolex, and his gold championship belt over his shoulder. He walks out into the bedroom as he retrieves his classic shades from his dresser and slips them on. Dick looks over to Cumiesha and smiles before leaving the room. The scene cuts to the front entrance of the Gazinya estate as Dick opens the door and takes a big wiff of the morning air. He smiles and adjusts his title belt as he walks down the winding walkway and makes his way into his black 69' Corvette. The champ revs up the engine and begins to take off out of the parking lot as the gate closes behind him. Afterwards, the scene cuts to a barber shop as we see the same black Corvette pulling up out front. Dick steps out, still with his championship belt in tack over his shoulder. He walks up the steps and into the barber shop as everyone stops what they are doing to greet the champ.
Clerk- How are we doing today, Mr. Gazinya? Are you here for your regular?
Dick grins as he nods his head.
Dick- That's right, just a little off the top.
"The Dick" rubs his hand over his almost completely shaven head.
Clerk- Please have a seat back here...
The clerk shows Dick to an empty barbers chair as the champ finds a seat. Soon a barber comes over with a razor.
Barber- If it isn't my favorite customer...regular shave champ?
Dick- Yeah, just the usual...
The barber begins to add shaving cleam as the champ watches his reflection through his belt, sporting a huge grin. The barber quickly shaves Dick's entire head then rubs off the excess shaving cream with a towel.
Barber- Your all set champ, we'll see you tomarrow.
Dick- Oh I'm sure you will...here's a little something.
Dick reaches into his jacket pocket and slips the barber a tip. The barber becomes very gracious as he thanks the champ before he leaves. The cameras switch to outside as we can see the champ getting back into his black 69' Corvette and taking off down the road. The scene fades out but then comes into focus in front of the famous Dick Gazinya Adult Movie Cinema Complex formerly known as the Dickey Dux Theatre. "The Dick" pulls in to the building and parks right out in front of the front door. He hops out with a smile as he eyes a couple young broads. The champ smiles when he catches their attention but continues into the cinema complex. The scene cuts to the front desk as the champ comes strolling in. He walks up to the counter and removes his shades, still wearing that huge grin and speaks.
Dick- How are we doing today?
The young male clerk stares in awe as he stutters to tell him that he is doing great. Dick smiles and tilts his head as he continues to speak.
Dick- Things running good? Of course they are...right?
The clerk nods his head as Dick carries on.
Dick- Look, I got a couple new shipments coming in real soon. We got this anal porn capping off the Cumiesha series that will be arriving this Thursday. Now...this is going to be a hot seller! We need a huge display to advertise but more importantly, we have my newest video entitled "They all want Dick" being officially released Tuesday morning, just after King Karnage! This is important kid, the cash that can be made off from some wrestling hype would astound you. You just make sure that that display is up at the time you open the theatre. There will be lines for this one...
Dick smiles and pats the clerk on the shoulder as the young guy assures the champ that everything will be going as scheduled. Dick wanders back out of the cinema complex as he begins to walk down the street past all the headshops. The champ looks in all the windows briefly until he passes an electronics store with a television set up in the window. The picture shows some WoW footage which catches "The Dick's" eye. He walks in and watches the monitor as Ralph Lillard hypes the King Karnage pay-per-view. He continues down the card until it reaches the WoW championship match between Dick Gazinya and Sweet Cheapshots. Eventually we goto Cheapshots' latest promo as the champ watches on. The promo continues as Dick's facial expressions vary. Once the promo is concluded, the champ spins around as if he knew there was a camera waiting right there and removes his sunglasses. "The Dick" then begins to address the cameras.
Dick- You give me a good laugh now and again Sweet Dirty Cumrag...you really do! I'm impressed that you're willing do to anything...anything at all to try your damnest to step up and share the spotlight with "The Dick!" You go all out...you got Roy Phillips? Where did this guy come from? I never heard of him...then you go out and find Professor Mike Oxlong! Hmmm...that doesn't ring a bell either! What does ring a bell is that after watching you, "The Dick" has come up with the conclusion that your nothing but a little scraggly haired bunch of Sweet Dirty Crap! "The Dick" sais this...you want to run your mouth? You want to talk about my promotional poster! I'm sorry that the most charismatic superstar to ever set foot in a wrestling ring has his own look, his own personality, and the ability to draw like no one else in this business and all you can do is walk around in your god awful fish net t-shirt, trying to look like a certain god awful WWE star?!! Get your own look before you talk about "The Dick's!" I made it to the top in this business because of my innovativeness, my charisma, and my ability to entertain the million upon millions of the "Dick-Heads!" You want to talk about "The Dick" and selling out arenas?!! Let me tell you something...back in the XWF days when you dodged the NDE and headed up north, the NDE would sell out every arena that we went to! I sell out every crowd I perform in front of! Don't give me any more of those eleven dollar words, straight from your snot dribbling two dollar mouth, "The Dick" is fixing to whoop your "Dick Smokin" ass at King Karnage!
Dick licks his lips as he nods and grins at the camera.
Dick- You talk about the effect Dick Gazinya has on children? This is the twenty first century! A new generation of wrestling...open your eyes "Cheap Man!" If you think you can win something over on "The Dick" by announcing when my promos were cut, you got another thing coming! It doesn't matter if I cut my promo today, it doesn't matter if I cut my promo tomarrow, and it sure as hell doesn't matter if I cut my promo yesterday, because Dick Gazinya is the WoW champion and he does what he wants! You want to come to me and think I'm going to let you take this title? It doesn't happen! This title is the biggest acheivement in my wrestling career and nobody is going to take this off my shoulder for a long time to come, especially an unprofessional loud mouthed bitch like you! That is...if you taste what "The Dick" is spewing?!!!
The champ slips he shades back on as he walks right past the camera as the scene cuts out and shows the now infamous Cheapshots animated logo!
Dick smiles and turns the faucet on as he begins to brush his teeth and wash up. The champ pushes the door closed then we goto a few minutes later. The door opens as Dick stands there in a gold Armani suit, a gold rolex, and his gold championship belt over his shoulder. He walks out into the bedroom as he retrieves his classic shades from his dresser and slips them on. Dick looks over to Cumiesha and smiles before leaving the room. The scene cuts to the front entrance of the Gazinya estate as Dick opens the door and takes a big wiff of the morning air. He smiles and adjusts his title belt as he walks down the winding walkway and makes his way into his black 69' Corvette. The champ revs up the engine and begins to take off out of the parking lot as the gate closes behind him. Afterwards, the scene cuts to a barber shop as we see the same black Corvette pulling up out front. Dick steps out, still with his championship belt in tack over his shoulder. He walks up the steps and into the barber shop as everyone stops what they are doing to greet the champ.
Clerk- How are we doing today, Mr. Gazinya? Are you here for your regular?
Dick grins as he nods his head.
Dick- That's right, just a little off the top.
"The Dick" rubs his hand over his almost completely shaven head.
Clerk- Please have a seat back here...
The clerk shows Dick to an empty barbers chair as the champ finds a seat. Soon a barber comes over with a razor.
Barber- If it isn't my favorite customer...regular shave champ?
Dick- Yeah, just the usual...
The barber begins to add shaving cleam as the champ watches his reflection through his belt, sporting a huge grin. The barber quickly shaves Dick's entire head then rubs off the excess shaving cream with a towel.
Barber- Your all set champ, we'll see you tomarrow.
Dick- Oh I'm sure you will...here's a little something.
Dick reaches into his jacket pocket and slips the barber a tip. The barber becomes very gracious as he thanks the champ before he leaves. The cameras switch to outside as we can see the champ getting back into his black 69' Corvette and taking off down the road. The scene fades out but then comes into focus in front of the famous Dick Gazinya Adult Movie Cinema Complex formerly known as the Dickey Dux Theatre. "The Dick" pulls in to the building and parks right out in front of the front door. He hops out with a smile as he eyes a couple young broads. The champ smiles when he catches their attention but continues into the cinema complex. The scene cuts to the front desk as the champ comes strolling in. He walks up to the counter and removes his shades, still wearing that huge grin and speaks.
Dick- How are we doing today?
The young male clerk stares in awe as he stutters to tell him that he is doing great. Dick smiles and tilts his head as he continues to speak.
Dick- Things running good? Of course they are...right?
The clerk nods his head as Dick carries on.
Dick- Look, I got a couple new shipments coming in real soon. We got this anal porn capping off the Cumiesha series that will be arriving this Thursday. Now...this is going to be a hot seller! We need a huge display to advertise but more importantly, we have my newest video entitled "They all want Dick" being officially released Tuesday morning, just after King Karnage! This is important kid, the cash that can be made off from some wrestling hype would astound you. You just make sure that that display is up at the time you open the theatre. There will be lines for this one...
Dick smiles and pats the clerk on the shoulder as the young guy assures the champ that everything will be going as scheduled. Dick wanders back out of the cinema complex as he begins to walk down the street past all the headshops. The champ looks in all the windows briefly until he passes an electronics store with a television set up in the window. The picture shows some WoW footage which catches "The Dick's" eye. He walks in and watches the monitor as Ralph Lillard hypes the King Karnage pay-per-view. He continues down the card until it reaches the WoW championship match between Dick Gazinya and Sweet Cheapshots. Eventually we goto Cheapshots' latest promo as the champ watches on. The promo continues as Dick's facial expressions vary. Once the promo is concluded, the champ spins around as if he knew there was a camera waiting right there and removes his sunglasses. "The Dick" then begins to address the cameras.
Dick- You give me a good laugh now and again Sweet Dirty Cumrag...you really do! I'm impressed that you're willing do to anything...anything at all to try your damnest to step up and share the spotlight with "The Dick!" You go all out...you got Roy Phillips? Where did this guy come from? I never heard of him...then you go out and find Professor Mike Oxlong! Hmmm...that doesn't ring a bell either! What does ring a bell is that after watching you, "The Dick" has come up with the conclusion that your nothing but a little scraggly haired bunch of Sweet Dirty Crap! "The Dick" sais this...you want to run your mouth? You want to talk about my promotional poster! I'm sorry that the most charismatic superstar to ever set foot in a wrestling ring has his own look, his own personality, and the ability to draw like no one else in this business and all you can do is walk around in your god awful fish net t-shirt, trying to look like a certain god awful WWE star?!! Get your own look before you talk about "The Dick's!" I made it to the top in this business because of my innovativeness, my charisma, and my ability to entertain the million upon millions of the "Dick-Heads!" You want to talk about "The Dick" and selling out arenas?!! Let me tell you something...back in the XWF days when you dodged the NDE and headed up north, the NDE would sell out every arena that we went to! I sell out every crowd I perform in front of! Don't give me any more of those eleven dollar words, straight from your snot dribbling two dollar mouth, "The Dick" is fixing to whoop your "Dick Smokin" ass at King Karnage!
Dick licks his lips as he nods and grins at the camera.
Dick- You talk about the effect Dick Gazinya has on children? This is the twenty first century! A new generation of wrestling...open your eyes "Cheap Man!" If you think you can win something over on "The Dick" by announcing when my promos were cut, you got another thing coming! It doesn't matter if I cut my promo today, it doesn't matter if I cut my promo tomarrow, and it sure as hell doesn't matter if I cut my promo yesterday, because Dick Gazinya is the WoW champion and he does what he wants! You want to come to me and think I'm going to let you take this title? It doesn't happen! This title is the biggest acheivement in my wrestling career and nobody is going to take this off my shoulder for a long time to come, especially an unprofessional loud mouthed bitch like you! That is...if you taste what "The Dick" is spewing?!!!
The champ slips he shades back on as he walks right past the camera as the scene cuts out and shows the now infamous Cheapshots animated logo!
Sweet Cheapshots