Dick Arrives to the HSBC Arena!
The scene opens outside of the HSBC arena in Buffalo, New York. There is a buzz through out the air as the the WoW presents King Karnage along with its fan festival leading up to the event. Fans are spotted all over the streets as is an event sign in front of the arena that sais, "WoW presents King Karnage....Sold Out!" The camera pans around some more as we see many fans carrying "Dick-Head" foam heads along with the rest of their Dick Gazinya gear. The camera focuses in on one fan who appears maybe sixteen years old along with a girl who appears to be his girlfriend. The male wears a "Free Nester" black t-shirt as the girl wears an "I've been Dicked" white t-shirt. The camera man asks them their comments on the mega-main event championship match-up between Richard Gazinya and Sweet Cheapshots.
Girl- I love Dick...plain and simple!
Boy- Well I like Richard Gazinya, not Dick...but, I'm here to see the return of Nester DeFranco!
They begin a chant among the other fans of "Dick, Dick, Dick!" Eventually the camera fades out but, comes back into focus at the back entrance of the arena. We see a long black limo pull in slowly as the camera comes in closer to read the license plate that sais "Gazinya" as the limo comes to a stop. A few seconds go by until the driver opens his door. He walks to the back and opens the door. Another few moments go by until Dr. Williams, all decked out in his trademarked black suit and tie comes strutting outside. Followed behind him are the lovely Cumiesha in a white lace evening gown and the Little Dick Experience which are dressed in white painter jumpsuits. The midgets catch the fans attention as they snap many pictures while the midgets pose. Next comes "Big" Frankie Gazinya, all seven foot of him decked out in all black as "Little" Rod Gazinya follows behind wearing a crystal white Armani suit with his GFW world championship belt drapped over his shoulder. Rod jumps up on Frankie's shoulders as he raises his arms up for the fans. Then the camera turns back to the limo as "Old Man" Gazinya steps out in a silk robe with his cane in hand. By now, the fans are relentless as they await the champ. A few more moments go by as the entire crew await. The camera switches to inside the limo as we see the champ Richard Gazinya decked out in a platinum gold Armani suit with his trademarked sunglasses, a gold rolex, a cleanly shaven head and the WoW heavyweight championship proudly hanging over his shoulder. The camera comes back a little as we can see none other than Roy Phillips, as snot drips down his nose. Dick continues talking...
Dick- Don't worry...this is your chance to get back at Cheapshots for everything he made you do this past week. Your in with the NDE now, so listen...everything is going to be alright.
Phillips- Baby Ruth?
Dick shakes his head with a smile and reaches into his jacket pocket. He pulls his hand out with a Baby Ruth candy bar in it as he hands it to Roy. Roy tears the wrapper off and mows the candy bar down then looks up with chocolate on his face.
Phillips- Rocky road?
Dick- Listen man, if you want the rocky road, your gonna have to come inside with us!
Roy nods as the champ exits the limo to a loud ovation from the fans outside. Dick waves to the fans as he points back to the limo. Roy comes walking out with a limp as the entire crew head into the building. The cameras goto backstage as the production crews are setting up all the equipment. Soon the NDE crew passes them all by as they all watch the champ lead them down the hall to the special luxurious NDE locker room. They continue, as a group of WoW wrestlers stand by huddled in a conversation. These include Quake, Kris Starr and Chandra Desdemona. Starr catches Dick out of the corner of his eye as the champ gives him a mean look but, once he sees the Quake, he smiles and points to his "Free Nester" t-shirt. Quake smiles and nods his head as the crew continue down their path. The scene cuts out and comes back into focus in the locker room as everyone is doing their own thing but, the champ is nowheres to be found as neither is Roy Phillips. "Old Man" Gazinya stands by with his cane as he speaks loudly to Frankie.
Old Man- I got a phone call from that son of a bitch the other day...Cheapchump...ahh, he was trying to sell me shit! Shit...can you believe that?!! If I was still in the ring that puny little horses ass wouldn't last ten seconds I tell ya!
Frankie nods as he speaks.
Frankie- If I was in the ring with him, it wouldn't even last three seconds because he would run away as soon as I stepped over the ropes!
Rod strolls over to the conversation as he rests an arm on "Big" Frankie's shoulder. The cameras cut away as we see the champ talking to Roy Phillips somewheres backstage.
Dick- You want rocky road? Well listen up...I'm real proud of you for what you stood up to this week. Those fans are going to be the same way so I don't want you to get all up in a frenzy. After the match and after I retain my championship, your gonna come out with the rocky road alright? What I want you to do is dump it over Cumrag's face while he lays there, knocked out from the "Gazinya Family Tree," the three most deadly moves in my arsenal!
Phillips nods as he wipes a wad of snot from his nose.
Dick- I can't believe that you let Cheapo change your name legally to Puta Bandeco! I know, you barely know English let alone Spanish. How about we call you...hmmm how about Sloth?
Phillips nods his head as he begins to convulse.
Dick- Easy guy, relax...Sloth...that's your new name!
Sloth- Me like Sloth!
Dick smiles and nods when out of the blue Sloth comes completely out of character.
Sloth- Actually Dick, I'm an actor just like yourself. You might remember me from such movies as "The Goonies!"
Dick's eyes widen as he looks surprised.
Sloth- You see, I'm a retarded actor...but, I do know what I'm doing. I just play my character really well.
Dick- But...what about all those promos you did with Cumstain?
Sloth- Well, I did them to get back on television. My career hasn't gone so well since "Goonies" and I need the exposure. I can now see that it was the right choice afterall, look what I'm doing. I've already become a bigger celebrity than I was before.
Dick just shakes his head in amazement.
Dick- So this should be easier than expected!
Sloth- I am a "Dick-Head" and everyone is going to see why tonight!
The scene cuts back to the locker room as everyone continues on with their own thing. The door opens as Dick and Sloth waltz in and find a seat. The midgets meanwhile are playing checkers on the floor as they argue about who cheated and who didn't. Dick just shakes his head and looks to the camera.
Dick- So Cumrag, this is it...the final moments before our legendary match goes down in the record books. Yeah I know, it's not slated as the main event and no matter what you say about "The Dick" not being a main eventer, I know that this is about the biggest main event there ever was. You know a lot went down these past few weeks. First you attacked me after I won the belt, in my hometown! That doesn't please any "Dick-Head" no matter how much you want to say that you've gotten the fans to turn against me. You can't beat Richard Gazinya and you know it, that's why you've sunk to pathetic mind games! Please...it's going to take more than that to get in this "Dick-Head!"
Dick licks his lips as he continues.
Dick- Next, you want to take responsibility for putting Nester on the shelf? You think you sent him to the insane asylym? Think again "Cheap Man!" You didn't put Nester there, oh no! Nester put himself there and he had to escape just to make it to Malice and try to defend his title to you in a straight jacket! That's what kind of man Nester DeFranco is! Well "The Dick" has a lot in store for you tonight! As you can see, your old buddy, Sloth is here...and tonight will mark the return of the Nesterman! Let me tell you, Nester ain't happy one bit about losing the tag team titles and he's going to make sure that you get "Dicked" tonight!
Dick stands out of his seat as he looks at his championship belt. He looks back up and continues.
Dick- You wanna talk about luck? Well luck didn't get Dick Gazinya where he's at! Would it be luck that I haven't had my shoulders pinned to the mat in probably three months? I didn't think so "Cheap Man!" You talk your talk but, can you walk your walk? "The Dick" doesn't think so and tonight I'm going to expose you to the world for what you really are...Sweet Dirty Cumshots!
Dick begins to laugh until he gains his composure and continues.
Dick- You say you work for Darren and that I'm the one that's gonna get "Dicked?" Well if that's the case, then why did the prez back out of refereeing our match to referee a bra and panties match? Obviously, he doesn't think you can get the job done, actually it seems like he's lost his hope in you! The time is now, it won't be much longer...this is without a doubt the biggest match of yours and my careers. What we have done leading up to this match will revolutionize the way wrestling has traditionally been and this will be one talked about for ages in the wrestling history books. It's just to bad that your going to have to go down as the loser because Dick Gazinya isn't backing down for one second! I'm going to beat you "Cheap Man!" It all lies in the "Gazinya Family Tree!" The three most devastating moves in my arsenal! First I'm going to break you like a wet noodle when I powerbomb you into that turnbuckle! Then, "The Dick" is going to pick your broken body off from that canvas and plant you right back down with the "Grand Finale" inverted DDT! Next comes the end..."Total Devastation" my friend and you won't be able to do a thing about it! You will get "Dicked" and "The Dick" is going to shatter all your dreams of ever being the WoW champion! That is, as long as I have this strap!
Dick takes the belt off from his shoulder and stares at his reflection. He looks back and speaks.
Dick- The biggest prize in the game...come, try to take it...it ain't gonna happen! Just like your failed attempt to know Spanish! Puta Bandeco huh? Well if your so fluent in Spanish, "The Dick" shouldn't have to translate this one for you...
Dick smiles as he looks into the camera.
Dick- Yo wil si tu en infierno! Si tu olfato que el Dicko es vomitaramos!
A cocky smile comes over Dick's face as he pats his championship belt. Dick gets interupted as the door burts open. Everyone turns to see as the Nesterman stands there in ripped blue jeans and a black "Your Momma" t-shirt. Nester stares at Dick while "The Dick" stares back. The scene then fades as the infamous Cheapshots animated logo appears.
Boy- Well I like Richard Gazinya, not Dick...but, I'm here to see the return of Nester DeFranco!
They begin a chant among the other fans of "Dick, Dick, Dick!" Eventually the camera fades out but, comes back into focus at the back entrance of the arena. We see a long black limo pull in slowly as the camera comes in closer to read the license plate that sais "Gazinya" as the limo comes to a stop. A few seconds go by until the driver opens his door. He walks to the back and opens the door. Another few moments go by until Dr. Williams, all decked out in his trademarked black suit and tie comes strutting outside. Followed behind him are the lovely Cumiesha in a white lace evening gown and the Little Dick Experience which are dressed in white painter jumpsuits. The midgets catch the fans attention as they snap many pictures while the midgets pose. Next comes "Big" Frankie Gazinya, all seven foot of him decked out in all black as "Little" Rod Gazinya follows behind wearing a crystal white Armani suit with his GFW world championship belt drapped over his shoulder. Rod jumps up on Frankie's shoulders as he raises his arms up for the fans. Then the camera turns back to the limo as "Old Man" Gazinya steps out in a silk robe with his cane in hand. By now, the fans are relentless as they await the champ. A few more moments go by as the entire crew await. The camera switches to inside the limo as we see the champ Richard Gazinya decked out in a platinum gold Armani suit with his trademarked sunglasses, a gold rolex, a cleanly shaven head and the WoW heavyweight championship proudly hanging over his shoulder. The camera comes back a little as we can see none other than Roy Phillips, as snot drips down his nose. Dick continues talking...
Dick- Don't worry...this is your chance to get back at Cheapshots for everything he made you do this past week. Your in with the NDE now, so listen...everything is going to be alright.
Phillips- Baby Ruth?
Dick shakes his head with a smile and reaches into his jacket pocket. He pulls his hand out with a Baby Ruth candy bar in it as he hands it to Roy. Roy tears the wrapper off and mows the candy bar down then looks up with chocolate on his face.
Phillips- Rocky road?
Dick- Listen man, if you want the rocky road, your gonna have to come inside with us!
Roy nods as the champ exits the limo to a loud ovation from the fans outside. Dick waves to the fans as he points back to the limo. Roy comes walking out with a limp as the entire crew head into the building. The cameras goto backstage as the production crews are setting up all the equipment. Soon the NDE crew passes them all by as they all watch the champ lead them down the hall to the special luxurious NDE locker room. They continue, as a group of WoW wrestlers stand by huddled in a conversation. These include Quake, Kris Starr and Chandra Desdemona. Starr catches Dick out of the corner of his eye as the champ gives him a mean look but, once he sees the Quake, he smiles and points to his "Free Nester" t-shirt. Quake smiles and nods his head as the crew continue down their path. The scene cuts out and comes back into focus in the locker room as everyone is doing their own thing but, the champ is nowheres to be found as neither is Roy Phillips. "Old Man" Gazinya stands by with his cane as he speaks loudly to Frankie.
Old Man- I got a phone call from that son of a bitch the other day...Cheapchump...ahh, he was trying to sell me shit! Shit...can you believe that?!! If I was still in the ring that puny little horses ass wouldn't last ten seconds I tell ya!
Frankie nods as he speaks.
Frankie- If I was in the ring with him, it wouldn't even last three seconds because he would run away as soon as I stepped over the ropes!
Rod strolls over to the conversation as he rests an arm on "Big" Frankie's shoulder. The cameras cut away as we see the champ talking to Roy Phillips somewheres backstage.
Dick- You want rocky road? Well listen up...I'm real proud of you for what you stood up to this week. Those fans are going to be the same way so I don't want you to get all up in a frenzy. After the match and after I retain my championship, your gonna come out with the rocky road alright? What I want you to do is dump it over Cumrag's face while he lays there, knocked out from the "Gazinya Family Tree," the three most deadly moves in my arsenal!
Phillips nods as he wipes a wad of snot from his nose.
Dick- I can't believe that you let Cheapo change your name legally to Puta Bandeco! I know, you barely know English let alone Spanish. How about we call you...hmmm how about Sloth?
Phillips nods his head as he begins to convulse.
Dick- Easy guy, relax...Sloth...that's your new name!
Sloth- Me like Sloth!
Dick smiles and nods when out of the blue Sloth comes completely out of character.
Sloth- Actually Dick, I'm an actor just like yourself. You might remember me from such movies as "The Goonies!"
Dick's eyes widen as he looks surprised.
Sloth- You see, I'm a retarded actor...but, I do know what I'm doing. I just play my character really well.
Dick- But...what about all those promos you did with Cumstain?
Sloth- Well, I did them to get back on television. My career hasn't gone so well since "Goonies" and I need the exposure. I can now see that it was the right choice afterall, look what I'm doing. I've already become a bigger celebrity than I was before.
Dick just shakes his head in amazement.
Dick- So this should be easier than expected!
Sloth- I am a "Dick-Head" and everyone is going to see why tonight!
The scene cuts back to the locker room as everyone continues on with their own thing. The door opens as Dick and Sloth waltz in and find a seat. The midgets meanwhile are playing checkers on the floor as they argue about who cheated and who didn't. Dick just shakes his head and looks to the camera.
Dick- So Cumrag, this is it...the final moments before our legendary match goes down in the record books. Yeah I know, it's not slated as the main event and no matter what you say about "The Dick" not being a main eventer, I know that this is about the biggest main event there ever was. You know a lot went down these past few weeks. First you attacked me after I won the belt, in my hometown! That doesn't please any "Dick-Head" no matter how much you want to say that you've gotten the fans to turn against me. You can't beat Richard Gazinya and you know it, that's why you've sunk to pathetic mind games! Please...it's going to take more than that to get in this "Dick-Head!"
Dick licks his lips as he continues.
Dick- Next, you want to take responsibility for putting Nester on the shelf? You think you sent him to the insane asylym? Think again "Cheap Man!" You didn't put Nester there, oh no! Nester put himself there and he had to escape just to make it to Malice and try to defend his title to you in a straight jacket! That's what kind of man Nester DeFranco is! Well "The Dick" has a lot in store for you tonight! As you can see, your old buddy, Sloth is here...and tonight will mark the return of the Nesterman! Let me tell you, Nester ain't happy one bit about losing the tag team titles and he's going to make sure that you get "Dicked" tonight!
Dick stands out of his seat as he looks at his championship belt. He looks back up and continues.
Dick- You wanna talk about luck? Well luck didn't get Dick Gazinya where he's at! Would it be luck that I haven't had my shoulders pinned to the mat in probably three months? I didn't think so "Cheap Man!" You talk your talk but, can you walk your walk? "The Dick" doesn't think so and tonight I'm going to expose you to the world for what you really are...Sweet Dirty Cumshots!
Dick begins to laugh until he gains his composure and continues.
Dick- You say you work for Darren and that I'm the one that's gonna get "Dicked?" Well if that's the case, then why did the prez back out of refereeing our match to referee a bra and panties match? Obviously, he doesn't think you can get the job done, actually it seems like he's lost his hope in you! The time is now, it won't be much longer...this is without a doubt the biggest match of yours and my careers. What we have done leading up to this match will revolutionize the way wrestling has traditionally been and this will be one talked about for ages in the wrestling history books. It's just to bad that your going to have to go down as the loser because Dick Gazinya isn't backing down for one second! I'm going to beat you "Cheap Man!" It all lies in the "Gazinya Family Tree!" The three most devastating moves in my arsenal! First I'm going to break you like a wet noodle when I powerbomb you into that turnbuckle! Then, "The Dick" is going to pick your broken body off from that canvas and plant you right back down with the "Grand Finale" inverted DDT! Next comes the end..."Total Devastation" my friend and you won't be able to do a thing about it! You will get "Dicked" and "The Dick" is going to shatter all your dreams of ever being the WoW champion! That is, as long as I have this strap!
Dick takes the belt off from his shoulder and stares at his reflection. He looks back and speaks.
Dick- The biggest prize in the game...come, try to take it...it ain't gonna happen! Just like your failed attempt to know Spanish! Puta Bandeco huh? Well if your so fluent in Spanish, "The Dick" shouldn't have to translate this one for you...
Dick smiles as he looks into the camera.
Dick- Yo wil si tu en infierno! Si tu olfato que el Dicko es vomitaramos!
A cocky smile comes over Dick's face as he pats his championship belt. Dick gets interupted as the door burts open. Everyone turns to see as the Nesterman stands there in ripped blue jeans and a black "Your Momma" t-shirt. Nester stares at Dick while "The Dick" stares back. The scene then fades as the infamous Cheapshots animated logo appears.
Sweet Cheapshots