Free Nester and Shoot Sweet Cumrag!
The scene opens in the conference room, atop the widely reknowned "Smokin Dick Towers." We can see Dr. Evan Williams sitting at the end of a long oval table wearing his trademark black suit and tie as the WoW champion Richard Gazinya sits back at the other end, with his feet up, sporting a cleanly shaven head and a crystal white Armani suit. The two stare up to the corner of the room as "The Cheap 1's" latest promo concludes. Dick begins to laugh out loud as he claps his hands. He turns to the Doc and begins to speak with an arrogant tone.
Dick- Cumrag has done it again...a sense of humor, I'm impressed...
The Doc interupts.
Dr. Williams- Dick, this is bullshit! I can't believe you sit here, laugh and applaud the man! Cheaps is breaking kayfabe, an unwritten rule that you just don't cross in this business...what is the wrestling world coming to?
Dick sits upright as he takes his feet off from the table.
Dick- This is great, finally the hype, the interest that I've yearned for in an opponent. Now that Snotsniff has come out of his shell, I think our match may be able to draw higher than expected. Sesame Street...who would have thought?
Dr. Williams- Do you realize what the boys in the locker room think of you? They look up to you as the locker room leader, the man that puts the unruly superstars in their place! I've already heard talk that practically the entire roster is supporting Dick on this one...they will urge you to give him a stiff match! Your gonna have to teach this man some respect! Not only for Dick...but, for this wrestling business!
Dick tips his head back, then looks back towards the Doc with a smile.
Dick- That won't be any problem at all! I'd love to be the one to lay into the Cheap bastard with some closed fists...maybe a few stiff elbows! "The Cheap 1" won't be feeling too good after our match, you can bet on that!
Dr. Williams- Now that's the way to look at things...make an example out of him to the rest of the roster...that breaking of character will not be tolerated in this business! When it comes down to it, your bigger and stronger than him. He can only go so far but, with the way the script going the way it goes and you coming out victorious, this is the chance to for you to lay into him! Show him what working stiff is all about!
The champ cracks his knuckles as the scene cuts to the insane asylym. We see a view of the outside of the building as the scene cuts inside to the front counter. The Little Dick Experience, the two famous NDE midgets try to look up to the top of the counter as the secretary doesn't even notice them.
Midget #2- Hey lady...we need to see our friend!
The secretary leans over the counter to see the two pint sized weed smoking maniacs as she responds.
Secretary- Ohhh...your two are so cute...
Midget #1- Listen bitch...we're here to see Nester!
The secretary's eyes widen as she points down the hall. The midgets head past the counter as they enter a waiting room. A few minutes goes by until a security gaurd comes out, escourting the two little guys to the back.
Midget #2- Nester is going to be surprised to see us.
Midget #1 nods as they continue down the halls. Eventually they come to a room where "Nasty" Nester DeFranco is being held. They enter as the Nesterman looks up with a surprised but, seemingly happy look as he wears his hospital gurny.
Nester- Wow...I haven't had any visitors since you guys busted me out for Malice!
The midgets sit around the Nesterman as he continues to talk.
Nester- Well things have been going better...I got out of solitary for good behavior. Yesterday I even got my staright jacket off! I'm getting ready to go...King Karnage, I can't wait!
Midget #2- Well you better get out real soon...Dick has been pretty hostile towards us.
Midget #1- Yeah, Dick caught us spraying "NDE 4 Life" on the side of the "Smoking Dick Towers!" Now...now we're the janitors at the "Smoking Dick Towers!"
Nester looks astounded as he stands up.
Nester- Yeah...well maybe you to little pukes should get your act together! I've been doing everything I can inside here to make sure that I'm out by pay-per-view time and all you can do is play games?
The midgets look hurt as midget #1 begins to speak.
Midget #1- We have been busy...we got a whole "Free Nester" campaign going...look!
The midget points to the window as Nester shows them a look that they better be serious. He walks over to the window as the camera focuses outside the hospital to show an overwhelming crowd of supporters, all holding "Free Nester" signs. We go to a view of Nester's face.
Nester- I didn't know I had support...hell, I thought you guys ditched me.
Midget #2- No man...NDE is for Life!
The midgets make a "4 Life" sign with their hands as they wait for Nester to give one back. Nester looks embarrased as he stares to the ground. He eventually looks up with a straight face as he returns the gesture. The midgets jump to their feet as they run up to Nester in an attempt to hug him. Nester pushes them back.
Nester- Whoa...we can just settle for a handshake.
The midgets look up to Nester as they take turns shaking the Nesterman's hand. The scene cuts back to the "Smokin Dick Towers" as the champ is already at his feet talking in promo mode in front of the Doc.
Dick- "The Dick" has worked far to long to let a loud mouthed, "Dick Smoker" like Cumbags to degrade his character! He wants to play dirty? I can play dirtier than anybody in this business! Before I came to the WoW, I was the meanest, dirtiest, sleaziest player in the game! When I was heel, the fans hated me...they threw things at me...they rioted!
Dick stops to chuckle for a moment. Soon he picks back up.
Dick- Cheapsniff wants to follow in my shoes? I'll teach him what it is like to play dirty..."The Dick" will beat the "The Great 1"...ahh, I mean "The Cheap 1" at his own game! King Karnage, this Monday...that's when the games truly begin!
Dick looks into the camera as it zooms in on his face.
Dick- When you are standing in that ring, waiting for "The Dick" to come out and whoop your ass...you remember one thing! That one thing is that the champ owns you! You stand there and you feel the atmosphere around you because that's going to give you butterflies in your stomach...you soak up the moment because it is going to be your last "Cheap Man!" I want you to not shut your mouth...no, no! You've ran it quite loudly as of late...so here is what "The Dick" suggests! When "Walk" hits the arena, you watch as the sold out crowd in Buffalo, filled with "Dick-Heads" raise to their feet! You drop your jaw and look on in astonishment, keep your mouth open "Cheap Man" because when the Dick make his way to join you in that cell, "The Dick"...is about ready to Gazinya! If you taste what "The Dick" is spewing?!!
The champ gives a smirk to the camera as he begins to unbutton his trousers. As he does, a large x'ed out circle appears over the front of the champ's pants. Dick laughs as he speaks once more.
Dick- "The Dick" pisses on you and everything you stand for Cumrag...because that's what Richard Gazinya does! Bring all you got, your gonna need a hell of a lot more than Bert and Ernie...Your gonna need a raincoat!
Dick laughs smugly as the scene fades out to the infamous Sweet Cheapshots logo. Afterwards the scene completely fades to black.
The Doc interupts.
Dr. Williams- Dick, this is bullshit! I can't believe you sit here, laugh and applaud the man! Cheaps is breaking kayfabe, an unwritten rule that you just don't cross in this business...what is the wrestling world coming to?
Dick sits upright as he takes his feet off from the table.
Dick- This is great, finally the hype, the interest that I've yearned for in an opponent. Now that Snotsniff has come out of his shell, I think our match may be able to draw higher than expected. Sesame Street...who would have thought?
Dr. Williams- Do you realize what the boys in the locker room think of you? They look up to you as the locker room leader, the man that puts the unruly superstars in their place! I've already heard talk that practically the entire roster is supporting Dick on this one...they will urge you to give him a stiff match! Your gonna have to teach this man some respect! Not only for Dick...but, for this wrestling business!
Dick tips his head back, then looks back towards the Doc with a smile.
Dick- That won't be any problem at all! I'd love to be the one to lay into the Cheap bastard with some closed fists...maybe a few stiff elbows! "The Cheap 1" won't be feeling too good after our match, you can bet on that!
Dr. Williams- Now that's the way to look at things...make an example out of him to the rest of the roster...that breaking of character will not be tolerated in this business! When it comes down to it, your bigger and stronger than him. He can only go so far but, with the way the script going the way it goes and you coming out victorious, this is the chance to for you to lay into him! Show him what working stiff is all about!
The champ cracks his knuckles as the scene cuts to the insane asylym. We see a view of the outside of the building as the scene cuts inside to the front counter. The Little Dick Experience, the two famous NDE midgets try to look up to the top of the counter as the secretary doesn't even notice them.
Midget #2- Hey lady...we need to see our friend!
The secretary leans over the counter to see the two pint sized weed smoking maniacs as she responds.
Secretary- Ohhh...your two are so cute...
Midget #1- Listen bitch...we're here to see Nester!
The secretary's eyes widen as she points down the hall. The midgets head past the counter as they enter a waiting room. A few minutes goes by until a security gaurd comes out, escourting the two little guys to the back.
Midget #2- Nester is going to be surprised to see us.
Midget #1 nods as they continue down the halls. Eventually they come to a room where "Nasty" Nester DeFranco is being held. They enter as the Nesterman looks up with a surprised but, seemingly happy look as he wears his hospital gurny.
Nester- Wow...I haven't had any visitors since you guys busted me out for Malice!
The midgets sit around the Nesterman as he continues to talk.
Nester- Well things have been going better...I got out of solitary for good behavior. Yesterday I even got my staright jacket off! I'm getting ready to go...King Karnage, I can't wait!
Midget #2- Well you better get out real soon...Dick has been pretty hostile towards us.
Midget #1- Yeah, Dick caught us spraying "NDE 4 Life" on the side of the "Smoking Dick Towers!" Now...now we're the janitors at the "Smoking Dick Towers!"
Nester looks astounded as he stands up.
Nester- Yeah...well maybe you to little pukes should get your act together! I've been doing everything I can inside here to make sure that I'm out by pay-per-view time and all you can do is play games?
The midgets look hurt as midget #1 begins to speak.
Midget #1- We have been busy...we got a whole "Free Nester" campaign going...look!
The midget points to the window as Nester shows them a look that they better be serious. He walks over to the window as the camera focuses outside the hospital to show an overwhelming crowd of supporters, all holding "Free Nester" signs. We go to a view of Nester's face.
Nester- I didn't know I had support...hell, I thought you guys ditched me.
Midget #2- No man...NDE is for Life!
The midgets make a "4 Life" sign with their hands as they wait for Nester to give one back. Nester looks embarrased as he stares to the ground. He eventually looks up with a straight face as he returns the gesture. The midgets jump to their feet as they run up to Nester in an attempt to hug him. Nester pushes them back.
Nester- Whoa...we can just settle for a handshake.
The midgets look up to Nester as they take turns shaking the Nesterman's hand. The scene cuts back to the "Smokin Dick Towers" as the champ is already at his feet talking in promo mode in front of the Doc.
Dick- "The Dick" has worked far to long to let a loud mouthed, "Dick Smoker" like Cumbags to degrade his character! He wants to play dirty? I can play dirtier than anybody in this business! Before I came to the WoW, I was the meanest, dirtiest, sleaziest player in the game! When I was heel, the fans hated me...they threw things at me...they rioted!
Dick stops to chuckle for a moment. Soon he picks back up.
Dick- Cheapsniff wants to follow in my shoes? I'll teach him what it is like to play dirty..."The Dick" will beat the "The Great 1"...ahh, I mean "The Cheap 1" at his own game! King Karnage, this Monday...that's when the games truly begin!
Dick looks into the camera as it zooms in on his face.
Dick- When you are standing in that ring, waiting for "The Dick" to come out and whoop your ass...you remember one thing! That one thing is that the champ owns you! You stand there and you feel the atmosphere around you because that's going to give you butterflies in your stomach...you soak up the moment because it is going to be your last "Cheap Man!" I want you to not shut your mouth...no, no! You've ran it quite loudly as of late...so here is what "The Dick" suggests! When "Walk" hits the arena, you watch as the sold out crowd in Buffalo, filled with "Dick-Heads" raise to their feet! You drop your jaw and look on in astonishment, keep your mouth open "Cheap Man" because when the Dick make his way to join you in that cell, "The Dick"...is about ready to Gazinya! If you taste what "The Dick" is spewing?!!
The champ gives a smirk to the camera as he begins to unbutton his trousers. As he does, a large x'ed out circle appears over the front of the champ's pants. Dick laughs as he speaks once more.
Dick- "The Dick" pisses on you and everything you stand for Cumrag...because that's what Richard Gazinya does! Bring all you got, your gonna need a hell of a lot more than Bert and Ernie...Your gonna need a raincoat!
Dick laughs smugly as the scene fades out to the infamous Sweet Cheapshots logo. Afterwards the scene completely fades to black.
Sweet Cheapshots