Howard Stern with special guest: Richard Gazinya!
The scene opens to a highlight package, promoting the WoW champion Richard Gazinya's appearance on Howard Stern. We can see Dick sitting back casually with Howard Stern as the cameras turn to three lovely ladies. From there the opening cinema begins to start the show. Once that is finished we go to the studio where Howard and Robin are in their seats looking over some papers on their desk. The cameras turn as we can see Fred and Jackie "The Jokeman" Martling sitting in their respective booths with their headsets on. We go back to Howard who looks up, still wearing his shades and a sleeveless gray t-shirt as he begins to speak.
Stern- Well today we have a special guest...the WoW heavyweight champion himself, get this...Dick Gazinya! Now with a name like that, the chicks must be all over him!
Robin- Now Howard, he's a wrestler...could the ladies actually want him?
Stern- Have you seen this guy? He's solid as a rock and he's the real deal...a second generation wrestling star. Damn, his gimmick alone is enough for me. Get this, he actually stars in porno movies...this guy has it all!
Robin- You mean to tell me this guy is really that good? Porno movies? I've got to meet him!
Stern- I tell you no lie Robin, this guy is hung like a water buffalo! I'm telling you Robin, the man has it all...money, the wrestling business in the palm of his hand and this guy can have any chick he wants...he could get you Robin, if he wanted to.
The camera flashes to Jackie's booth as he snickers. We hear a "boing!" sound effect as the cameras turn back to Stern.
Stern- Look, I'll bet you money on it...
Robin- I don't know, he's a wrestler...I mean what kind of pornos does this guy do?
Stern- He does them all, he has his own production studio left to him by the late great Dickey Dux! From what I hear, they got some "snuff" videos in the basement!
We goto Fred who makes a weird face at the simple mentioning of "snuff." Back to Howard...
Stern- Not only is Dick here but we got three of the hottest playmates ready to play a game called "Win the Dick!" where they will each have the chance to win the spot in Dick Gazinya's next adult film!
Robin- This must be for real...ok I'm waiting, bring him out.
The cameras go to the hallway as we see the WoW heavyweight champion Richard Gazinya all decked out in a jet black Armani suit, sporting a freshly shaven head, his gold Rolex watch and the WoW championship drapped over his shoulder. Gary comes walking up to Dick and speaks.
Gary- Alright, we're ready to go on...Howard is gonna ask a few questions, you'll be able to promote the King Karnage pay-per-view and we're gonna play "Win the Dick!" You set?
Dick grins as he nods his head.
Dick- Dick Gazinya knows the drill, I'm all about show business, just show me the door to the studio.
Dick follows Gary down the hall and into the studio as loud clapping swarms Dick. The champ smiles as he makes his way to a seat where the executive producer KC Armstrong sets up a microphone. We goto Howard.
Stern- Dick Gazinya...great to have you on the show. Now I've heard great things about you, I've seen great things about you and your here today to promote King Karnage, this Monday live on pay-per-view. That's not all, tonight we're going to play "Win the Dick!" and your going to have a new porno coming out the day of the event with one of the three lovely playmate models we have here tonight! Now Dick...look at you, you have the looks and your hung like a rhinocerous, why wrestling?
The camera turns to Dick who speaks into the microphone.
Dick- I was raised in this business...my father was a professional wrestler and I carried down the family name in this business. I was trained to do what I do at a young age and that's what I am, now becoming a porn star just kinda happened. I was born incredibly well-endowed and was given a gift from the almighty Jesus Sweatshots' mother, who told me that the "Cheap 1" has a the most dissapointing slab of salami that you could ever find in the corner meat market. That's a different story but, the fact remains, I'm the best in this business and that is what this WoW championship means! This Monday at King Karnage, I'm going to sell out the and give my "Dick-Heads" their moneys worth! Sweat Cheapshots came back to the WoW after I conquered this business and we're going to meet in a hell in the cell for the biggest prize in the game!
Stern- Well this Cheapshots character, I've seen him...he's a scraggly little shit. Kinda reminds me of Joe from the "Stoned Age!" I bet he couldn't even compare to the hunk of stuff you carry around in your drawers. He couldn't even be more than two inches. I bet I could even show him up with my small package.
KC Anderson begins to laugh but suddenly stops and adjusts the microphone as Dick leans back in his chair.
Dick- Cheapo isn't just cheap, he falls short in every aspect of the game...that is when sized up to Dick of course!
Stern- Well, gods gift made you a lot of money. Is your family tradition going to stand up at Kind Karnage?
Dick- Well there's a lot of speculation...you see in storylines, the owner president Darren is out to get Dick. He wants to clean the WoW of the filth that I produce and he will stop at nothing. In recent weeks he has ended the most dominating tag team of all time, the Nasty Dick Experience...he has screwed Dick time and time again but the pay-per-view is the big payoff. Dick is going to finally get his due and...
Stern- Let me interupt you, from what I hear you've basically had every woman in the WoW! Is that correct?
Dick gives a grin as he sits up to the microphone.
Dick- Well I haven't had them all...I did do the WoW All-Stars with Rose and Desiree but there's more on my to do list!
The cameras goto Fred's booth as he covers his mouth while laughing.
Stern- Now how about this Selena chick?
Dick- Well I haven't nabbed her in the sack as of yet but, in due time you can bet your money that she's be staring in a Dickey Dux film. Hey, she's got a real chip on her shoulder...she thinks everyone wants her.
Stern- Well look at her...
Dick- Well yeah but, this is what I do as a professional. She's neither that nor worth my time. I wouldn't be doing it for personal or business pleasure, what I would do it for is to ruin all her credibility. Everyone knows Selena loves Dick and in due time she's going to get Dick just like Rose and Desiree did!
Stern- Well get Dick she will...from what I've heard you have quite the package! Before you came in we watched a couple of your videos and man, your hung like a water buffalo! How big is Dick...I mean how big is it?
Dick blushes as he covers his mouth then casually leans up into the microphone.
Dick- Let's just say, that's why they call me Dick!.
Stern- You gotta be kidding me, is that your real name?
The scene cuts to commercial but, first shows highlights of what is to come. We see the champ begin to give out his full name although, cut off before he can reveal anything. We then goto a "Girls Gone Wild" commercial and some others before returning.
Stern- Ok Gary I want to find out how big Dick really is...can you go find a measuring instrument?
Gary nods as he exits the room. He soon comes back with a tape measure as the boys in the booth snicker.
Stern- Alright then, if we can have you drop your drawers...
Dick smiles as he stands out of his seat and unbuckles his black pants. He drops them to his ankles as the camera immedietly blurs out Dick down to his knees. We hear a "Boing!" sound effect, the camera goes to Robin as she looks on in astonishment at the girth Dick posseses. She then smackes herself in the forehead as she attempts to speak.
Robin- Jesus tap-dancing Christ! I have never seen a hunk of man quite that large. Howard, do you see that thing?!
Howard- Goddamnit! Oy vey! That is amazing! Wow! I have nothing to say!
We all look on at the incredible example of manhood that God has graced us all with. Gary sneaks himself into the shot with a tape measure as he drops to his knees and begins to measure the uncanny wonder that is...Dick.
Gary- I got about...1 foot, and...7 inches!!!
The entire crew of the show all stop what they are doing to hear the ungodly final measurement. Fred makes a funny face as we go back to Howard.
Stern- Man you must get laid any time you want!
Dick shrugs his shoulders and smiles.
Stern- That's incredible! No wonder your so big in porno. You should be in the "Guinness Book of World Records!"
Dick- Well, I don't want to showboat...
Stern- C'mon, I've never in my life seen something like that, no wonder everyone is afraid of you in the ring. They gotta be worried about getting smacked around with your manhood!
Robin- That has got to hurt...
Stern- Yeah but you know you would love it Robin. Alright, we're gonna take a call.
A caller speaks over the intercom as everyone sits in silence to hear what he has to say. The caller asks Dick a question to Dick about whether or not Cumiesha does anal. The camera looks at Jackie who is laughing as we go back to Howard.
Stern- Yeah, what's with this broad..does she take it in the butt?
Dick- Well actually, the "Lovely" Cumiesha has a whole anal series called "Jungle Super Sluts!" I suggest you all go out and check it out, it's some of her best work.
Stern- So from my sources, I hear that you met her in the wrestling business, is that so?
Dick- Actually my first stint in a wrestling promotion, the XWF is where I met Cumiesha. My first fued against "Bad News" Williams really gave me a jump start, especially after I met his sister...this hoe was all into porn, that's all she ever wanted to do and she was a natural. Definentely one of the best in the business, it's only natural that we mesh together, two of a kind and two of the best in the adult film industry.
Stern- I bet she's a fine piece of ass...ok, next caller.
A caller speaks up and asks the champ if Dick Gazinya is his real name. Dick smiles as he begins to speak.
Dick- Well, actually my name is... Richard Gazinya...c'mon, where have you been?
Stern- Yeah really, this guy is slick...
Dick- They don't call me "Slippery" Dick Gazinya for nothing!
Fred begins to laugh as Jackie makes a wise comment.
Stern- When we come back we're going to bring out these playmate models and we're gonna play "Win the Dick!" It's pretty simple, we're gonna ask these broads a few questions, the one with the most right will get to star in your next adult film.
Dick grins as the scene cuts to a preview of what's next. During the break the cameras go to the outside of the building. The two troublemaking midgets are smoking what appears to be a fat one. Both of their hands are white and black with spraypaint. The camera shows the side of the building. The midgets have not only painted the wall black but also "tagged" it.
The scene goes back to Howard.
Stern- We have 3 hot chicks here in the studio. Lets start the game. contestant #1...what is 3 times 4?
#1- um...uh... eleven?
Howard- Well what do you think Dick? Should we give it to her?
Dick- Yeah, close enough.
Stern- To hell with it your all winners! Thats right I am going to call it a tie. All three of you fine broads can star with Dick!
The camera faces the ladies as they all giggle in anticipation of the money shot they all will be rocked by. We hear a "boing!" sound effect.
Robin- Can Dick handle three of the finest women on the planet at the same time?
Dick- Not a problem. Hey whats your last name again Robin?
Robin- Quivers.
Gazinya- You would "Quiver" if I ever slid my manhood between your legs. Don't get me wrong...I would slide it in inch by inch...like a gentleman.
Howard- She would love that Dick. Lets talk about this Cheap guy more. You will face him at King Karnage. What makes him think he has a shot at toppeling the almighty Dick?
The champion of the world- Well this jokers full name is Sweet Dirty Cheapshots...
Howard- More like Sweet Sticky Cum-Shots!
Dick- Jesus, watch your mouth. You can't say that on the radio. Anyway, Cheapshots is nothing to Dick. He is an old-timer looking to regain his glory days the same way Justin Payne did. Remember what happened to that jerk... I smashed his ass! Remember NoVa? I ended that punks career! Cheapy is nothing... I piss on Sweet C-Shots.
Howard- Well, we are just about out of time. Thanks to Dick to coming on today to promote the pay-per-view. King Karnage is Monday, July the 15th. Don't miss it!
The scene fades as Dick walks back to the green room.
Robin- Now Howard, he's a wrestler...could the ladies actually want him?
Stern- Have you seen this guy? He's solid as a rock and he's the real deal...a second generation wrestling star. Damn, his gimmick alone is enough for me. Get this, he actually stars in porno movies...this guy has it all!
Robin- You mean to tell me this guy is really that good? Porno movies? I've got to meet him!
Stern- I tell you no lie Robin, this guy is hung like a water buffalo! I'm telling you Robin, the man has it all...money, the wrestling business in the palm of his hand and this guy can have any chick he wants...he could get you Robin, if he wanted to.
The camera flashes to Jackie's booth as he snickers. We hear a "boing!" sound effect as the cameras turn back to Stern.
Stern- Look, I'll bet you money on it...
Robin- I don't know, he's a wrestler...I mean what kind of pornos does this guy do?
Stern- He does them all, he has his own production studio left to him by the late great Dickey Dux! From what I hear, they got some "snuff" videos in the basement!
We goto Fred who makes a weird face at the simple mentioning of "snuff." Back to Howard...
Stern- Not only is Dick here but we got three of the hottest playmates ready to play a game called "Win the Dick!" where they will each have the chance to win the spot in Dick Gazinya's next adult film!
Robin- This must be for real...ok I'm waiting, bring him out.
The cameras go to the hallway as we see the WoW heavyweight champion Richard Gazinya all decked out in a jet black Armani suit, sporting a freshly shaven head, his gold Rolex watch and the WoW championship drapped over his shoulder. Gary comes walking up to Dick and speaks.
Gary- Alright, we're ready to go on...Howard is gonna ask a few questions, you'll be able to promote the King Karnage pay-per-view and we're gonna play "Win the Dick!" You set?
Dick grins as he nods his head.
Dick- Dick Gazinya knows the drill, I'm all about show business, just show me the door to the studio.
Dick follows Gary down the hall and into the studio as loud clapping swarms Dick. The champ smiles as he makes his way to a seat where the executive producer KC Armstrong sets up a microphone. We goto Howard.
Stern- Dick Gazinya...great to have you on the show. Now I've heard great things about you, I've seen great things about you and your here today to promote King Karnage, this Monday live on pay-per-view. That's not all, tonight we're going to play "Win the Dick!" and your going to have a new porno coming out the day of the event with one of the three lovely playmate models we have here tonight! Now Dick...look at you, you have the looks and your hung like a rhinocerous, why wrestling?
The camera turns to Dick who speaks into the microphone.
Dick- I was raised in this business...my father was a professional wrestler and I carried down the family name in this business. I was trained to do what I do at a young age and that's what I am, now becoming a porn star just kinda happened. I was born incredibly well-endowed and was given a gift from the almighty Jesus Sweatshots' mother, who told me that the "Cheap 1" has a the most dissapointing slab of salami that you could ever find in the corner meat market. That's a different story but, the fact remains, I'm the best in this business and that is what this WoW championship means! This Monday at King Karnage, I'm going to sell out the and give my "Dick-Heads" their moneys worth! Sweat Cheapshots came back to the WoW after I conquered this business and we're going to meet in a hell in the cell for the biggest prize in the game!
Stern- Well this Cheapshots character, I've seen him...he's a scraggly little shit. Kinda reminds me of Joe from the "Stoned Age!" I bet he couldn't even compare to the hunk of stuff you carry around in your drawers. He couldn't even be more than two inches. I bet I could even show him up with my small package.
KC Anderson begins to laugh but suddenly stops and adjusts the microphone as Dick leans back in his chair.
Dick- Cheapo isn't just cheap, he falls short in every aspect of the game...that is when sized up to Dick of course!
Stern- Well, gods gift made you a lot of money. Is your family tradition going to stand up at Kind Karnage?
Dick- Well there's a lot of speculation...you see in storylines, the owner president Darren is out to get Dick. He wants to clean the WoW of the filth that I produce and he will stop at nothing. In recent weeks he has ended the most dominating tag team of all time, the Nasty Dick Experience...he has screwed Dick time and time again but the pay-per-view is the big payoff. Dick is going to finally get his due and...
Stern- Let me interupt you, from what I hear you've basically had every woman in the WoW! Is that correct?
Dick gives a grin as he sits up to the microphone.
Dick- Well I haven't had them all...I did do the WoW All-Stars with Rose and Desiree but there's more on my to do list!
The cameras goto Fred's booth as he covers his mouth while laughing.
Stern- Now how about this Selena chick?
Dick- Well I haven't nabbed her in the sack as of yet but, in due time you can bet your money that she's be staring in a Dickey Dux film. Hey, she's got a real chip on her shoulder...she thinks everyone wants her.
Stern- Well look at her...
Dick- Well yeah but, this is what I do as a professional. She's neither that nor worth my time. I wouldn't be doing it for personal or business pleasure, what I would do it for is to ruin all her credibility. Everyone knows Selena loves Dick and in due time she's going to get Dick just like Rose and Desiree did!
Stern- Well get Dick she will...from what I've heard you have quite the package! Before you came in we watched a couple of your videos and man, your hung like a water buffalo! How big is Dick...I mean how big is it?
Dick blushes as he covers his mouth then casually leans up into the microphone.
Dick- Let's just say, that's why they call me Dick!.
Stern- You gotta be kidding me, is that your real name?
The scene cuts to commercial but, first shows highlights of what is to come. We see the champ begin to give out his full name although, cut off before he can reveal anything. We then goto a "Girls Gone Wild" commercial and some others before returning.
Stern- Ok Gary I want to find out how big Dick really is...can you go find a measuring instrument?
Gary nods as he exits the room. He soon comes back with a tape measure as the boys in the booth snicker.
Stern- Alright then, if we can have you drop your drawers...
Dick smiles as he stands out of his seat and unbuckles his black pants. He drops them to his ankles as the camera immedietly blurs out Dick down to his knees. We hear a "Boing!" sound effect, the camera goes to Robin as she looks on in astonishment at the girth Dick posseses. She then smackes herself in the forehead as she attempts to speak.
Robin- Jesus tap-dancing Christ! I have never seen a hunk of man quite that large. Howard, do you see that thing?!
Howard- Goddamnit! Oy vey! That is amazing! Wow! I have nothing to say!
We all look on at the incredible example of manhood that God has graced us all with. Gary sneaks himself into the shot with a tape measure as he drops to his knees and begins to measure the uncanny wonder that is...Dick.
Gary- I got about...1 foot, and...7 inches!!!
The entire crew of the show all stop what they are doing to hear the ungodly final measurement. Fred makes a funny face as we go back to Howard.
Stern- Man you must get laid any time you want!
Dick shrugs his shoulders and smiles.
Stern- That's incredible! No wonder your so big in porno. You should be in the "Guinness Book of World Records!"
Dick- Well, I don't want to showboat...
Stern- C'mon, I've never in my life seen something like that, no wonder everyone is afraid of you in the ring. They gotta be worried about getting smacked around with your manhood!
Robin- That has got to hurt...
Stern- Yeah but you know you would love it Robin. Alright, we're gonna take a call.
A caller speaks over the intercom as everyone sits in silence to hear what he has to say. The caller asks Dick a question to Dick about whether or not Cumiesha does anal. The camera looks at Jackie who is laughing as we go back to Howard.
Stern- Yeah, what's with this broad..does she take it in the butt?
Dick- Well actually, the "Lovely" Cumiesha has a whole anal series called "Jungle Super Sluts!" I suggest you all go out and check it out, it's some of her best work.
Stern- So from my sources, I hear that you met her in the wrestling business, is that so?
Dick- Actually my first stint in a wrestling promotion, the XWF is where I met Cumiesha. My first fued against "Bad News" Williams really gave me a jump start, especially after I met his sister...this hoe was all into porn, that's all she ever wanted to do and she was a natural. Definentely one of the best in the business, it's only natural that we mesh together, two of a kind and two of the best in the adult film industry.
Stern- I bet she's a fine piece of ass...ok, next caller.
A caller speaks up and asks the champ if Dick Gazinya is his real name. Dick smiles as he begins to speak.
Dick- Well, actually my name is... Richard Gazinya...c'mon, where have you been?
Stern- Yeah really, this guy is slick...
Dick- They don't call me "Slippery" Dick Gazinya for nothing!
Fred begins to laugh as Jackie makes a wise comment.
Stern- When we come back we're going to bring out these playmate models and we're gonna play "Win the Dick!" It's pretty simple, we're gonna ask these broads a few questions, the one with the most right will get to star in your next adult film.
Dick grins as the scene cuts to a preview of what's next. During the break the cameras go to the outside of the building. The two troublemaking midgets are smoking what appears to be a fat one. Both of their hands are white and black with spraypaint. The camera shows the side of the building. The midgets have not only painted the wall black but also "tagged" it.
The scene goes back to Howard.
Stern- We have 3 hot chicks here in the studio. Lets start the game. contestant #1...what is 3 times 4?
#1- um...uh... eleven?
Howard- Well what do you think Dick? Should we give it to her?
Dick- Yeah, close enough.
Stern- To hell with it your all winners! Thats right I am going to call it a tie. All three of you fine broads can star with Dick!
The camera faces the ladies as they all giggle in anticipation of the money shot they all will be rocked by. We hear a "boing!" sound effect.
Robin- Can Dick handle three of the finest women on the planet at the same time?
Dick- Not a problem. Hey whats your last name again Robin?
Robin- Quivers.
Gazinya- You would "Quiver" if I ever slid my manhood between your legs. Don't get me wrong...I would slide it in inch by inch...like a gentleman.
Howard- She would love that Dick. Lets talk about this Cheap guy more. You will face him at King Karnage. What makes him think he has a shot at toppeling the almighty Dick?
The champion of the world- Well this jokers full name is Sweet Dirty Cheapshots...
Howard- More like Sweet Sticky Cum-Shots!
Dick- Jesus, watch your mouth. You can't say that on the radio. Anyway, Cheapshots is nothing to Dick. He is an old-timer looking to regain his glory days the same way Justin Payne did. Remember what happened to that jerk... I smashed his ass! Remember NoVa? I ended that punks career! Cheapy is nothing... I piss on Sweet C-Shots.
Howard- Well, we are just about out of time. Thanks to Dick to coming on today to promote the pay-per-view. King Karnage is Monday, July the 15th. Don't miss it!
The scene fades as Dick walks back to the green room.
Sweet Cheapshots
