Man- Ladies and gentlemen, if I could please have your attention.
The crowd suddenly becomes silent as they are highly anticipating the arrival of the one and only Richard Gazinya.
Man- At this time would you all please welcome the man that has brought our business to new heights. Let me introduce to you one half of the WoW tag team champions, Richard Gazinya!
The crowd all stand as a loud ovation is heard. The camera shows the WoW officials clapping as Richard makes his way from behind the "We Support Dick" back drop. Richard is dressed in a fine black Armani suit along with his trademark shades, a gold rolex and a cleanly shaven head. Dick smiles as he makes his way to the podium. He is handed the microphone as he clears his throat.
Dick- Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your warm response. I stand before you tonight not as Dick Gazinya the wrestling character but as Richard Gazinya the innovator of this sport. At this time I would like to thank everyone with their overwelming amount of support as I climb the ladder here in the WoW.
Dick looks behind him at the "We Support Dick" backdrop then turns back to the crowd.
Dick- The support I have recieved in recent weeks is nothing short of overwelming. All the "We Support Dick" posters have shown not only me but the WoW just what I truly mean to this profession. It is time that I step it up an extra notch and give the fans what they truly deserve. That is why for supporting me I have gone out of my way to bring to you all the reformation of one of the hardest rock bands of all time. Yes, this Monday Mega-Deth will be a special guest at Malice. Not only will they be a special guest but they will perform my theme song "Walk" in a special remake live as I make my entrance for my match with Jarred Cathallion.
A reporter attracts Dick's attention with a question.
Reporter- While that may be an astronomical accomplishment, bringing in Mega-Deth to the WoW will they play a factor in this match?
Dick- Absolutely not. They will be here to perform my theme and that is all. I feel I owe the fans something in return for their continued support. When Richard Gazinya makes a promise to his fans, he delivers. Next question?
Another reporter stands up.
Reporter- What do you have to say about Jarred Cathallion's continued jabs that you are infactuated with yourself and your continued references to yourself in the third person?
Dick- You know that's a good question. Jarred is not only an egomaniac but he would like you to believe every word that comes out of his mouth. Yes, I refer to myself in the third person. Yes, I may be infactuated with myself but the fact remains that Jarred is infactuated by Dick even more.
Reporter- What do you have to say concerning the fact that Jarred has refered to you as a second rate performer?
Dick smiles in amusement then addresses the reporter and the crowd.
Dick- When I came here in the WoW I was the hottest free agent that there was. I don't know where he gets off calling me a second rate performer. Sure I've spent most of my time here in the WoW as a tag team wrestler but that is only my way of paying my dues. You see I couldn't have started my career as a singles star. The WoW wanted what the XWF could not produce. That is the greatest tag team the world has ever laid its eyes on. Now that we have thoroughly dominated the tag team ranks, it is time for me to go on to do what everone has expected me to do and that is rule the WoW. You see, i'm on a rise here in the WoW. It is my time to show these people what Richard Gazinya is all about. I'm going to prove without a shadow of a doubt that I am the best in ring performer to ever grace a WoW ring.
Reporter- That is quite a statement. What about past legends such as Triple X, Smoke Dawg, or any other wrestler who was here before you?
Dick- They all were great performers but I am what the people want to see. If any of these men have a problem with that then I welcome them to come back and take a stab at the next big thing! Next question?
Reporter- What about the claims from Jarred that your finisher, the "Total Devastation" frogsplash as you call it will not keep him down?
Dick- That's just another way for Jarred to pretend like he has everything under control. You see when I hit him with the "Total Devastation" he was immobalized. The only thing that saved him was Chad HarZy and his steel chair. This Monday on Malice I'm not only going to hit Jarred with the "Total Devastation", oh no. I'm going to hit the entire "Gazinya family tree!"
Reporter- What exactly is that?
Dick- It is the three most deadly moves in my arsenal in sequence. First I will powerbomb Jarred into the turnbuckle and break him like a wet noodle. Next, I will plant him with the "Grand Finally" inverted DDT. From there, then end will consume Jarred as I will nail the most deadly frogsplash in the business, "Total Devastation!"
Reporter- If I may roll some footage.
A video screen begins to play recent WoW footage involving the NDE, Jarred and Chad HarZy. It shows the ending to the tag team title match with B-Pac as the special guest referee. Jarred attempts to cover Richard with a faster than usual count but still 2 all the same. All out brawling insued with everyone going at it, with somehow the NDE clearing the ring. They by then had enough of B-Pac's refereeing and started to attack him, as he fought back. B-Pac called for the bell as NDE lost by DQ. The clips change to last weeks installment of "Nasty Nester's Medicine Break."
Nester- There's no chance your going to walk into Target Locked as the number one contender. As a matter of fact that spot is reserved for the man that's gonna kick your ass next week, Dick Gazinya. After you blow the invitational it will be too late for you to get the other slot because the Nesterman is going to have it when he wins tonights Royal Rumble. You see it's going to be the Nester-maniacs versus the Dick-heads at Target Locked for the undisputed WoW championship. The Nasty Dicks are going to explode in Madison Square Garden and your not invited!
Jarred drops his microphone and boots Nester in the gut in a fit of rage. Nester's gum falls out of his mouth as Jarred nails the Soul Reaver! The crowd is going nuts at the commotion as Jarred signals for the Legendary End! He heads to the turnbuckle but the camera turns around to see Dick Gazinya running through the crowd. Dick is dressed in full wrestling attire and carries a "Dick-Head" foam head from the NDE merchandise catalog. He hops the barrier as Jarred stand on the top rope. Dick runs up onto the apron and smashes Jarred so he falls down to the mat. As Jarred lays holding his head, Dick stands perched on the top turnbuckle and quickly nails the Total Devastation frogsplash. Meanwhile Nester is back up and begins taking turns with Dick stomping Jarred in the back of the head. The crowd gets even louder as "Never Gonna Stop" by Rob Zombie blairs throughout the arena. Chad HarZy runs from behind the curtain in his street clothes, carrying a steel chair and heads directly towards the ring. Dick and Nester scury under the ropes as they grab their titles and head back up the ramp while Chad HarZy stands over Jarred protecting him from the NDE with the chair. Dick and Nester stop on the ramp and taunt Chad until he begins to kick over Nester's interview set. Nester starts to head back down the ramp but Dick holds Nester back as the camera switches to the ring where Jarred is now up and the both are challenging the NDE to bring it to the ring. Dick points to Jarred and says "You and Me" then pounds his fists. The NDE then head backstage as we goto Dick Gazinya.
Dick- I've had my run-ins with Jarred but right now the WoW title is my single most important goal. Ever since my GFW days, I have dreamed of the day I would once again hold a World Championship belt. It doesn't look to be that far off in the future. Target Locked will be the day, there is no doubt in my mind. The only person that may say otherwise is Jarred himself but everone knows how his ego is nothing but a seed planted deep inside him by Dick. That same seed grew and grew. I have done wonders for him and this Monday he will get the match of his life, there is no doubt about it. The only problem is that after Malice he's going to realize what Dick is all about. He's going to come to terms with reality and the fact that I have paid my dues. He's going to meet what he calls one of the greatest tag team wrestlers of all time. Now it's time I show him I am one of the greatest, period. Jarred I know your sitting somewhere watching this press conference right now. You can't eat, you can't sleep, you just need to concentrate every ounce of your feeble mind on our match. Your watching right now just thinking what you have gotten yourself into. It's ok Jarred, I passed the torch to you once but now that the WoW Heavyweight Championship is at stakes, I won't lay down for you again. This match is going to be a slobberknocker, it's going to be a battle but when the smoke clears and I am standing over your aching body just like I left you last week on Malice when I hit "Total Devastation" you better get up and shake my hand. I will shake yours because I am a true professional, I just hope you can do the same. You may not be able to beat Dick this Monday but I am sure that you will RESPECT Dick that much more!
Dick sets down his microphone and walks way from the podium to a loud standing ovation. The scene fades to black.
