Dick- Sorry about Smitty baby, I can't believe he grabbed your titty yo. C'mon now that he's gone, we can finally have some fun. Besides, Nester will take care of him from here.
Cumiesha smiles as she joins arms with Dick. They continue through the crowd as the scene switches to inside Nester's orange monster truck driving down the interstate. We can see Smitty, in a drunken haze, yelling gibberish until Nester quickly gives him a thunderous backhand to the mouth. He continues to watch the road as Smitty begins to cry even louder. Nester, still watching the road speaks up.
Nester- Damn it Smitty, shut your Goddamn "Dick Smoking" mouth!
Smitty hushes down for a few moments before blurting out...
Smitty- Take me back there, I'm going to kick all of their asses!
Nester turns to Smitty and rolls his eyes.
Nester- Man, I just saved your ass. Do you realize how many people wanted to kick your ass back there? Everyone! Don't you ever learn? You show up one day out of the blue and look at what you pull!
Nester shakes his head with a look of disbelief as he pulls into a driveway. He parks the truck and looks back over to Smitty.
Nester- Alright, we're here. Go in and goto bed, sleep off your hangover.
Smitty pounds his fist on the dashboard and yells out.
Smitty- I don't want to go home! Take me somewhere's else!
Nester- Goddamnit! Get the...
Before Nester can finish, Smitty punches Nester square in the mouth. Nester shows a face of unbelievable shock as he looks at the little drunken bastard. He shakes his head as he reaches for his door handle.
Nester- Now your gonna get it!
Nester hops out of the cab and walks around the back. He reaches into the truck bed and retrieves an aluminum baseball bat. As he walks around to the passenger door, we can see Smitty quickly lock the doors. Nester waves the bat but Smitty refuses to get out. Suddenly, Nester punches through the glass and grabs Smitty by his shirt. He drags Smitty out from the broken window in one fell swoop as he lands on the pavement.
Nester- This is your last warning, GET IN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE BEFORE I BASH YOU!
Smitty climbs to his feet and takes a few steps back.
Smitty- Screw you and the Nasty Dick Experience! I hope you both lose your titles! I never liked the NDE anyways, I think you guys are over-pushed babyfaces! You don't even belong in wrestling!
Nester becomes even more enraged as he taps his bat against his hand. Out of nowheres, Smitty comes lunging at Nester in a half drunken stumble. Before anyone knows what happens, Nester connects with a windup swing to Smitty's ribs. He comes crashing down to the ground to a loud thud as Nester raises the bat over Smitty's back. Before he connects, Nester realizes what he is about to do and tosses the bat aside. He begins to stomp Smitty mercyless until he is motionless. He tosses the bat back in the truck bed and hops back inside. He backs out of the driveway and sticks his head out the window.
Nester- That's what you get motherfucker!
Nester peels out and speeds off down the road as the scene changes to back to the party at the Gazinya mansion. We can see "Little" Rod Gazinya tear off his staind white jacket as he prepares to do a keg stand. "Big" Frankie lifts Rod up with one arm and puts the tap in his mouth as he towers over the entire crowd. Everyone begins to count for what seems like eternity as Rod guzzles mouth full after mouth full out of the beer keg. Finally, "Big" Frankie lets Rod down who lets out a loud belch.
Rod- What was my time? What was it?
Frankie- We lost count, I think you broke the record tough guy.
Rod jumps up in the air and gives "Big" Frankie a high five as the camera turns to the others. We see the Little Dick Experience climbing out of the pool as the camera changes to the deck. Dr. Williams appears through the sliding glass doors with a cordless phone.
Dr. Williams- Hey Dick, we got someone on the phone that I think you might want to talk to! Come here, it's McMahon and I think he's ready to come out with a full blown contract!
The camera turns to see Dick standing by with Cumiesha.
Dick- Excuse me baby, I'll be right back.
Dick makes his way through the crowd until he reaches the deck. He takes the phone from a smiling Dr. Williams and makes his way inside where it is more quiet. He lifts the phone to his ear and speaks.
Dick- Hey what's happening Vinny, my number one "Dick Lover?"
Vince- Look Dick, let me be frank. I've been trying to aquire your services since day one. Your killing my Monday night ratings! I knew this would happen if you signed with the WoW and competed head to head with WWE Raw! We need to iron out a contract. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to keep my viewers.
Dick- Hey relax Vinny, I'll be glad to see what you got. You know me, I'm looking for that seven digit price so maybe if you send what you got down here, I'll have the Doc look it over.
Vince- Dick, things haven't been going well lately. You see, Rick Flair is running Raw into the ground. He has no chance of competing with Malice now that your the champ. I'm looking to make you the biggest offer ever in professional wrestling history. I'm sure you'll like what I got. It's time Dick Gazinya joined the WWE and finally cement his status as the greatest ever!
Dick thinks about it for a moment before responding.
Dick- One day I will head up north, you can count on that. Send up what you got and I'll have a look see and maybe we can meet up real soon. I first have to invest my time in becoming the greatest WoW champion of all time. I got a big money match this Monday that is going to kill your ratings with Justin Payne.
Vince- You already put him to shame with the greatest frogsplash in sports entertainment history. What else do you have to prove? We got the top-notch talent like Chris Benoit, RVD and Stone Cold! Why not add to your legacy while the talent is still here?
Dick- You got nothing to worry about. Let me have my time here in the WoW and I can "GauranDicktee" that when I show up in the WWE that the ratings will follow. Tell you what...
The phone beebs for a second.
Dick- Hold on, I got another call.
Dick clicks a button on the phone and answers.
Dick- Yeah hello?...Who is this?...Nester, um yeah. He did what? Damnit, where did you take him?...Back to the mental detention center?...Damn, we'll be there...We can't see him?...What the hell?...
Dick slams the phone onto the ground and looks up to the camera.
Dick- If things couldn't get any worse for the celebration of Dick? Well that's ok. We'll do it again after I succesfully defend my WoW championship against Justin Payne this Monday in a ladder match and when Nester gets his ass out of the mental detention center. Remember kiddies, don't hit a "Shitty" Smitty with an aluminum baseball bat because in the end, we all get "Dicked!" Just like Justin Payne will get "Dicked" this Monday when I finally put him out of his agonizing misery. You see Justin, I thought you were done. Obviously a "Total Devastation" from the rafters in Madison Square Garden isn't enough. Well this Monday your right, we ARE going to have another classic. A match like no other because we are the biggest stars this company has ever come across. The only problem for you is that it will be act two of what should have finished you in your defining moment. You had the opportunity to go out like no other. You had the chance to be the Shawn Micheals of the next generation by losing not only your dignity, but any chance you ever had of reclaiming your WoW championship. This belt isn't going anywheres! You can have your shot, but it won't mean a thing because you will get "Dicked" by the greatest wrestling performer of all time, Richard Gazinya! As far as Cheapy goes! Cheapshots, you can talk all you want! You can play games with Darren and you can claim to be the one to be able to end the NDE's reign of terror but it won't do you any good. Cheapy, you like to fool yourself but everyone knows that you have hid from Dick for long enough. It's finally time, your last to shine and you know how much you deeply love Dick. Just like president Darren, you know what I bring to this company and it's the best goddamn wrestling entertainment to ever show up on a television screen. Say what you will about the NDE's days in the XWF but the "Dick-Heads" know the truth. It was explained in the E! True Hollywood Story! You may get lucky this week due to Nester's unfortunate mishaps but after I finish Justin Payne off and climb the twenty foot ladder to claim my WoW championship, you will be next! The cheap 1 isn't ammuned to Dick and you know that as well as anybody! My celebration may have been cut short tonight but after I meet you in the ring, yours will get "Dicked" just like Just-a-piece-of-junk is going to get "Dicked" in front of millions live this Monday on Malice!
Dick gives a cocky grin as he puts his shades on his face. He pounds on his WoW championship which hangs over his shoulder and walks away. The scene fades to black.
