Nester- We have a great show here tonight folks! The countdown to Target Locked starts here on "Nasty Nester's Medicine Break!"
The crowd roars with approval as Nester continues.
Nester- Not only will Ichabod be here to officially announce the main event for Target Locked but the entire Gazinya clan is here tonight!
The crowd erupts and begins chanting "Dick, Dick, Dick!" Nester smiles and nods his head.
Nester- I won't keep you waiting any longer!
The lights dim in the arena as a single spotlight shines on the entrance. The official theme for Target Locked, "Tear Away" by Drowning Pool begins to play. All of a sudden the Little Dick Experience make their way past the curtains to much laughter. The two midgets are dressed in black tuxedos and play off the crowd by making hillarious taunts. The spotlight returns to the entrance as young Rod Gazinya steps out to a loud pop. The fans remember Rod from his one time only WoW match where after Dick was injured in a serious car accident, Rod teamed with Nester to successfully defend the tag team championships against the legendary Foxes! Rod sports a fine white Armani suit and a cleanly shaven head. He carries his GFW world championship belt over his shoulder as he makes his way to the ring. Once he gets inside, Rod shakes Nester's hand and takes a seat on the turnbuckle as all focus is back on the entrance. Old man Gazinya, once known as "Animal" Gazinya comes out from behind the curtain with the lovely Cumiesha around his arm. Animal is dressed in a black tuxedo while Cumiesha wears a very revealing outfit. The crowd begins to chant "Show us your tits!" Cumiesha teases the fans but does nothing more. Animal walks up the steps leading to the ring and holds the ropes for Cumiesha. Once they are in the ring Nester begins to speak.
Nester- Now the biggest Dick-Head of them all! The man, the myth, the endeniable legend and my tag team partner Dick Gazinya!
"Tear Away" fades out as "Walk" by Pantera takes over. The crowd goes estatic as they chant "Walk, respect, are you talking to me" along with Dick's theme! Dick finally pushes past the curtain to an overwhelming ovation. Dick wears the pants to a gold Armani suit and a black "Dick/Payne" Target Locked t-shirt. He holds his tag team title belt in the air as a shower of sparks falls from the WoW tron. Finally, Dick walks down the ramp after pointing to several Dick Gazinya signs in the crowd. He climbs into the ring and poses on the top turnbuckle then signals to a lady in the crowd to lift her shirt. She teases but doesn't, then Dick motions again. The lady smiles and finally does as the crowd goes completely nuts. Dick drops down off from the turnbuckle and shakes Nester's hand along with his brother Rod's. The midgets try to offer to shake Dicks hand but Dick laughs and pushes them away in a joking way. Dick turns to old man Gazinya and shakes his hand then Cumiesha leaps onto Dick with a big hug. Dick pries her off as Animal holds the lovely Cumiesha back from making a scene. The music finally cuts out as a microphone is handed to Dick from a ring crew member. The crowd is too loud for anyone to hear so Nester hushes them down.
Nester- Calm yourselves people, Target Locked isn't until next Saturday!
With that, the crowd becomes even louder. Dick raises his microphone but can't get a word out due to the level of noise.
Nester- We can sit here all night folks!
Finally after a few moments the crowd hushes down so the segment can begin.
Nester- As you all know it is all but official that tonight the announcement will be made. Tonight Dick, you and the entire Gazinya clan will witness the announcement heard around the world. Tonight Ichabod is going to come down to this ring and officially declare you the winner of the WoW invitational and announce the main event for Target Locked! That is Richard Gazinya versus Justin Payne for the undesputed WoW championship of the world!
The crowd chants "Dick, Dick, Dick" as Dick Gazinya raises his microphone to speak for the first time tonight!
Dick- Yes it has been a long few weeks. I have certainly gone out of my way in proving without a shadow of a doubt that I am not only one of the greatest tag team wrestlers of all time along with you as we have gone on to hold the tag team titles for more than a four month reign but also have prove to be the biggest draw that this company has ever seen. You see it's been a long road and the road stops at Target Locked! The WoW championship is where everything lays on the line! The "Dick-Heads" have been relentless and the cable company has lost all control!
Nester- The buyrate is going to be through the roof!
Dick- Not anly that but the other day I called the cable company to order the event for my family and the line was busy! Everyone and their mothers are calling and I can guaranDICKtee that Target Locked and my first world title win against Justin Payne will set an all-time new buyrate record!
Nester- Not only that but I'm going to be involved with a European title match! That's not all, it's going to be a tables, ladders and chairs match!
The crowd roars with cheers of approval as Nester continues.
Nester- Now as far as I'm concerned you went 3-0 in this invitational. Yeah I know that last week on Malice your match was declared a no-contest. Jarred Cathallion's jealousy cost the match but when you were standing on top of the WoW tron signaling for "Total Devastation" and then when you hit all the way down to the floor on NoVa you sure looked like a winner!
Dick- You know, we've already been through all of this with Jarred. He was so confident that he could beat me again that when I proved him wrong and beat him despite Chad HarZy's blatant interference, I proved that I am the better man. Jarred, you want to attack me over pure jealousy? Is that what this is about? Well let me tell you something Jarred, our wars are far from over! When I walk out of Target Locked with the WoW championship strapped around my waist, me and all my "Dick-Heads" are coming for you!
Nester- Do you think Jarred will try to get involved in your match at Target Locked?
Dick- You know, it doesn't even matter! Sure Jarred wouldn't care that he's ruining the biggest pay-per-view of all time. No he wouldn't! So Jarred you stay out of my business and I'll make it worth your while. After I win the WoW championship, you'll be one of the first to get a shot, just stay out of my business until then or the NDE will destroy you before you even get a chance to take the gold!
Nester- Now everyone may be wondering why that Rod, your father, Cumisha and the Little Dick Experience are all out here. Well they want to be here to witness this landmark announcement in person. Not only that but after tonight the road to Target Locked continues! It has been confirmed that the mayor of New York City, Michael Bloomberg will present you with the key to the city live in Madison Square Garden!
The crowd suddenly raises to their feet and gives Dick a standing ovation.
Dick- That is quite the honor Nester to be given the key to the city of my hometown right before I take the WoW title!
Nester- Not only that but right before Malice, the Nasty Dick Experience: True Hollywood story will premier on the E! network!
Again the crowd erupts.
Dick- Well everyone better set their VCR or they are going to be "Dicked!" This show has been in the works for some time. The entire Nasty Dick Experience story will be revealed. No holding back, you get to hear the truth staright form the NDE!
Nester- And now without any further ado, lets bring out the current WoW president to make this official!
The lights go out as the electronic beginning of "Forsaken" by David Draiman begins to play. Blue lasers cut outlines in the air in every direction as the voice of the song, David Dramain begins "The song they think its, hot hot hot hot", a row of blue pyros erupts across the front of the curtain, then Ichabod walks out. With every step down the ramp, a pair of blue pyros goes off flanking . When he gets to the ring he stands on the edge and does a Triple H stance, as the lights come up slowly. Ichabod climbs through the ropes and joins the festivities. Ichabod waits for the crowd to
die down as he takes a mic. The Gazinyas shift
around, proudly awaiting the announcement.
Ichabod- Before I announce
the winner, I have a few other announcements to
make. I have chosen a fill in for Selena in the
Lumberjack BYOW match for the Brutality Title
featuring Draven Azagthoth. The man I have
chosen isn't exactly the most Brutal, but his
life has been a living hell... a long living
hell. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the
number one contender for the Brutality title,
JUDAS!
"Avoid the Light" by Pantera
plays on the PA as Judas takes the ring.
Judas- You know, Ichabod is
right. I know your Brutality contenders usually
are picked because something about them is
brutal. Well I ask you, what is more Brutal than
living for over 2000 years in darkness...
feeding of the blood of the living like some
kind of animal? Nothing is. And I will prove
that my morbid existance has made me the most
brutal thing that has ever lived on this earth.
The crowd cheers for Judas's
speech.
Ichabod- I would now like to
announce the winner. Ladies and gentlemen...
your number one contender for the World Title
Tournament, the one who will be first in line to
face Justin Payne at Target Locked... NOVA!
The crowd begins to cheer, but
the Gazinyas look a little bit upset. Richard
grabs a mic and begins to say something, but
Ichabod holds up his hand.
Ichabod- Hold on there,
Dick, don't get all excited, I'm barely
finished. NoVa is the first in line. Jarred is
second, Rose is third, and you are fourth.
Dick- You mean to tell me
that you are putting all three of them out there
before me for a shot at the World Title? How
could you do that?
Ichabod- That's right, Dick.
In a GAUNTLET MATCH! It will begin with NoVa and
Jarred in the ring, and the first one pinned,
submitted, or knocked out will exit, only for
Rose to enter and continue the match. Finally,
you will come out to take on the fatigued person
left standing. After you inevitably eliminate
your opponent, Justin Payne will be the final
person to come into the match. The last person
standing after this gauntlet is run will be the
NEW WOW WORLD CHAMPION!
Richard Gazinya takes a moment
to reflect on what Ichabod has said, and then,
slowly, a smile curls his lips as he claps Ichy
on the back. The men enjoy a good laugh
until "Never Gonna Stop" by Rob Zombie plays and Jarred Cathallion along with Chad HarZy appear on the ramp. HarZy looks ever so proud holding Nester's XWF European championship as he raises a microphone to his lips.
Chad- Ya know, Ichabod, I'm
getting a little tired of these ideas you keep
tossing around, playing us like chess pieces in
your little game. We aren't your toys. Jarred
here has put himself on the line three weeks in
a row for you, and this is how you repay him?
How about we repay you the favor of giving
Jarred such a "golden opportunity?" Why don't
you step into the ring with the two of us after
Target Locked and put your money where your
mouth is?
At this point, Nester is on
his feet staring Harzy down. Ichabod comes over
and places a hand on his shoulder.
Ichabod- Maybe you forgot,
Harzy, but you are going to be a little bit tied
up after your little match with my boy Nester
here. But since you want to try my patience, and
since you feel it necessary to interrupt the
good ol' Nesterman's show every damn week, I
think its time you felt the full power of my
stroke.
The crowd begins to chant NDE,
NDE, NDE as Ichabod pauses, and a smile teases
at his mouth.
Ichabod- You see, at Target
Locked, you have a pretty rough match. First of
all, there is the undisputed European title on
the line... two belts swinging high above the
ring which one of you must take down by use of a
ladder to become the champion. Then, just for
added injuries, we've thrown in tables and
chairs, to make them legal as weapons.
The crowd cheers as Ichabod
pauses for effect.
Ichabod- But we didn't stop
there. We also decided to remove the regular
ring ropes and string razorwire from turnpost to
turnpost. Finally, we added pyros that will
erupt at random intervals around the apron,
adding that much more danger to your match.
The crowd is going crazy with
anticipation.
Ichabod- But no, you can't
be satisfied, Harzy, until you've invoked the
wrath of your president. So here's what I am
going to do. I'm going to take that ring, with
its razorwire ropes, its pyrotechnics, its belts
swinging above it, its tables, ladders, and
chairs strewn about it, and I'm going to RAISE
IT TWENTY TWO FEET INTO THE AIR! How do you like
them apples? I don't wrestle anymore, but maybe,
if you want it that bad, you can take a stroll
down to the ring, and all the Dick-aholics out
there can watch me and the Nasty Dick Clan take
your little asses apart!
Harzy and Jarred keep their
cool as they walk down the ramp toward the ring,
where Animal, Rod, Cumiesha, Ichabod, Judas,
LDE, Nester, and Richard wait. But the tag team
stop halfway down, turn and look up the ramp as
Rose, Desiree, and NoVa step out on the ramp. They back Chad HarZy and Jarred down to the ring where the Nasty Dick Experience drags them over the top rope by their hair. A total beat down ensues by everyone in the ring on Chad HarZy and Jarred Cathallion as the fans go completely crazy over all the commotion. Just then NoVa, Rose and Desiree all make their way into the ring, only for Jarred and HarZy to high tail it to the outside. "Tear Away" the official Target Locked theme by Drowning pool begins to play as Nester taunts Chad HarZy who looks furious. The scene cuts out.
