Dick- Only six days until Target Locked. The time is ticking and Dick is growing tired, waiting for the single biggest moment in my career to take shape. Waiting for the WoW championship to be strapped proudly around my waist. The WoW has been flipped upside down in the past few weeks. It was thought only a couple weeks ago that the biggest showdown was set to take place. B-Pac versus Richard Gazinya, title for title. B-Pac you didn't pull through but one day our paths will cross, mark my words. From there the only other possibility was Justin Payne and Richard Gazinya going one-on-one for the gold. I even had the official t-shirts printed out. That's ok because after the announcement heard around the world last night, that match will still take place. The only difference is that now there will be a gauntlet.
Dick smiles and lets out a cocky smirk.
Dick- At first when Ichabod made the announcement I thought he must have a screw loose but in fact he only wants to do whats best for the WoW in delivering on the biggest pay-per-view of the year. You see Target Locked isn't just some ordinary pay-per-view, it's the grandaddy of them all and it's taking place in my hometown of New York City where there will be a hometown celebration for Dick. Target Locked will be the homecoming of Dick Gazinya and what a better way to pay back all my "Dick-Heads" than to win the WoW championship in Madison Square Garden?
Cumiesha begins wandering her hands up Dick's thigh. Dick pushes her hand away and continues.
Dick- Please woman, I'm addressing my legions upon legions of "Dick-Heads" and all you can think about is Dick? Well I don't blame you, after all that's is what is on everyones minds. You see the "Dick-Heads" are relentless, they will stop at nothing to see that WoW championship around my waist. It should have happened back at Gladiator when I made my triumphet return but B-Pac ruined that. Just like B-Pac ruined any chances of having the match of the century against myself. Well that's ok, I'm going to put on the match of the century regardless. It doesn't matter who claws their way to the semifinals to face Dick. I have beaten all three of these in the invitational and I won't have a problem beating any of them again! As a matter of fact Jarred, I hope that Demon Chylde can get you to the dance. I would love nothing more than to finish what we started. After you dragged me under the ring on the last Malice causing a no contest. You put your nose where it didn't belong. You know, I did you a favor once by giving you the push that I felt you so rightfully deserved. What did that get me? It got me nothing but it gave you an ego trip like no one has ever seen before. I know that I crushed your ego when I pinned you, one, two, three in the middle of the ring and I know your ego is hurting even worse since you lost three consucutive weeks in a row but that's behind us. You would love nothing more than to spoil my celebration but it's inevitable. Nobody compares to Dick, not you Jarred, not you NoVa, and definetly not you Rose. I proved this three weeks in a row and I'm not afraid to prove it to any of you again.
Nester looks over from the window.
Nester- This is pushing it Dick. Everyone knows that you should have been declared the official winner of the invitational. What the hell gives Justin Payne the right to be the last man entered into the gauntlet anyways?
Dick- That's a question you have to ask Ichabod. Maybe it's punishment for our trip to the CnW. Maybe he's got another agenda but nothing and I mean nothing will stop me from winning the championship this Saturday.
Nester- It's hard to tell with these rednecks. Ichabod wants everyone to think that we are his boys but we know that is far from the truth. Darren is on his way back and his agenda is unclear. The only thing I know is that we work for Darren not Ichabod.
Dr. Williams drops his newspaper and looks back.
Dr. Williams- Nester is right Dick. We can't trust Ichabod, his motives are unclear. The Nasty Dick Experience never gets played and I think we proved that earlier.
The segment cuts to recent segments involving the CnW. The scene opens to a view of the Smokin' Dick Towers in Queens Bridge, New York. The camera focuses in on the buildings to see The Nasty Dick Experience logo then switches to inside where we can see the infamous "Good Doctor" Dr. Evan Williams sitting at the end of a long table with a group of executives and the most charismatic wrestling superstar to ever grace a wrestling ring, Richard Gazinya!
Dr. Williams- So as it seems, we have a big problem. This CnW wrestling organization as they call it are promoting superstars to appear on their show that are contractually obligated to compete in the WoW. Not only the man known as B-Pac, Justin Payne and Konnor Kingdom but our very own Richard Gazinya! Boy do we have a hefty lawsuit on our hands.
Dick looks a little intruiged by the news and questions the Doc.
Dick- How do they plan on delivering on that? Everyone knows that the WoW is the place to be. All these rinky dink, bingo-hall promotions want a piece of Dick Gazinya to shoot their promotions into the mainstream just like I have done with the WoW.
Dr. Williams- We are talking about a hefty lawsuit Dick. These people have no right promoting you, your trademarked character at their shows. The fans will be left disappointed and it will tarnish the good name of Nasty Dick Inc. We have to take action!
Dick stands up out of his chair, wearing a fine golden Armani suit along with a gold rolex and a cleanly shaven head. He walks up to the front of the room to address the doc and the executives after breifly looking over the paperwork involving the CnW.
Dick- The way I see it is that a bunch of "Dick-Heads" are going to show up to this CnW event hoping to see their hero, hoping to see their legend take part in some phony heavyweight title tournament. Well I say lets give these CnW executives what they want. Lets go down there and take care of their imposter Richard Gazinya and take this world tournament and their precious world title!
Dr. Williams- I don't know if we can do that Dick. After all the WoW would not stand for that kind of...
Dick interupts him.
Dick- The WoW won't do a thing. They won't risk losing me, I'm their top draw and I'm the one selling their next pay-per-view. They won't risk messing up their main event, the show would crumble and the buyers would resent them. That is the least of our worries Doc. The number one priority is that we satisfy all the "Dick-Heads" and deliver on a phony promise made not by us but by this low budget promotion the CnW! So who will I have to fight when I go there?
Dr. Williams- They got you booked against another imposter. An Eminenm imposter, can you believe that?
Dick smiles and lets out a chuckle before continuing.
Dick- I'm not surprised. You see this CnW is expecting nothing but imposters but they will certainly be surprised when the living legend himself Richard Gazinya steps foot into their rinky dink arena and lights their crowd on fire like it has never been before! I will be there to deliver for my fans and there won't be any problem disposing the rest of their imposters on route to capturing their world title! Eminem? You want to go along with them and be another fake phony cocksucker? That's fine by me but when the lights dim and you stare down at that entrance to see your fate, you won't be dealing with some phony off the street, your going to be dealing with the best professional wrestling has to offer, your going to have to deal with Dick Gazinya and you will be "Dicked!"
Dick laughs as he recieves a standing ovation from his group of executives along with the Dr. Evan Williams as the scene cuts to another segment that begins with a view of the Nasty Dick Inc. charter jet flying high up in the clouds. We can see the flaming NDE logo along the side as the scene changes to inside the first class charter jet. We see a who's who of the Nasty Dick crew sitting around in various seats. These include, "Nasty" Nester DeFranco of the Nasty Dick Experience who is dressed in a ripped pair of blue jeans, a black "NDE=Rating" t-shirt, his trademarked leather jacket and sporting his famous slicked back hairdo. Nester is currently the co-holder of the WoW tag team champions with Richard Gazinya himself in what many claim is undeniably the best tag team of all time. Across from good ol' Nester sits the "Good Doctor" Evan Williams as he is dressed in a black suit and tie reading the New York Times. The camera pans around to see The Little Dick Experience, a duo of midgets who are employed by Nasty Dick Inc. In front of them sits Richard Gazinya himself, dressed in a fine golden Armani suit with a cleanly shaven head and the lovely Cumiesha around his arms. Dick looks up to the camera with a grin and begins to speak.
Dick- Well it seems the time has come. This Sunday the CnW will never be the same again because after tomarrow night it will be infected with a lethal dose of "Nasty Dick Poison!"
Dick begins laughing as Cumiesha hugs Dick even tighter.
Dick- You wanted it? You got it. Dave Styles wanted to attract audiences by putting my name on the card. Well who wouldn't, after all I'm the biggest draw this business has come across in a long time. It only makes sense but what makes sense even more is that Dick is here in the CnW to take names and run through they're supposed competition. It doesn't matter who you are, everyone that steps into the ring with Dick will be "Dicked" and that goes for Eminem, Boca Del Inferno, Crow, DVD or any other of you supposed "superstars!"
Nester looks back over his shoulder towards Dick.
Nester- I can't believe we're actually going out here for this low budget fed. This is bullshit Dick and you bring along the whole crew. I just don't know why we have to even bother.
As Nester looks digusted, Dick reassures him.
Dick- I know how you all feel but we have to do this for the "Dick-Heads", the "Nester-Maniacs" and all the Nasty Dick fans that will be attending this CnW event expecting to see us. We can't let them down. Dick never lets anybody down and I can "guaranDICKtee" that no one will be let down after this Sunday night except for this Eminem character.
Dr. William drops his newspaper after the mention of Eminem's name.
Dr. Williams- Yeah well he's supposed to be a member of KAW. Do you know who they are?
Nester- What is that?
Dr. Williams- They are called Kick Ass Wrestlers.
Dick- That's the corniest faction name I think I've ever heard.
Dr. Williams- Well he's aligned with this guy Spike and Viper. Apparently they all have each others so-called "Back" if that isn't a hoot and holler in it's own right.
Dick- They can have each others backs all they want. I'll go out there and take them all on and still walk out of there with an advancement in their tournament. You see it doesn't matter to me what these guys try to pull. If they can't beat me by themselves then they will pull the numbers game. I can pull the numbers game all day but I'd rather just come out there and embarass them all by my lonesome. That's what Dick does, embarasses evetyone that Dick competes with. Eminem, may not have heard of the almighty Dick but then again he's probably been living under a rock with no exposure to television. That's ok because after Sunday, Eminem your not only going to know who Dick is but your going to love Dick just like your buddies Spike and Viper already love Dick!
The entire crew laughs out at Dick's catchy lines as the Doc shakes his head and returns to reading his paper. Cumiesha begins to run her hands down Dick's leg as Dick gives the camera a grin before the scene cuts back to the original segment.
Dr. Williams- We just proved that nobody messes with the NDE. It doesn't matter who you are or where you are. The NDE will come and find you.
Nester gets up in the isle of the plane as he appears very excited.
Nester- Man, they did not expect to see the real deal but when they did they were blown away. We sent shockwaves thoughout the industry today and the wrestling world will never be the same.
Dick shrugs his shoulders.
Dick- It's all in a hard days work. After all, if I didn't do it who else was going to actually go down there and stand up to those cheap bastards promoting our WoW names? I didn't see B-Pac there, I didn't see Justin Payne there and I certainly didn't see Konnor Kingdom there. I hope they all realize what a true leader I am. I stood up for not only B-Pac, Konnor and Justin Payne but the Nasty Dick Experience and the WoW!
Nester- That was awesome Dick. I know I wasn't to thrilled about going down there for their rinky dink show but the looks on their faces when we all entered their arena was worth the trip.
Dick- It was nothing short of extrodinary. We constantly push the barries of what traditional wrestling has always been. The NDE is an innovative product management business that is bigger than any wrestling promotion. We will prove that at Target Locked when you go on to win the undesputed European titles and I take the WoW championship.
Nester begins to almost dance.
Nester- After Target Locked we will be loaded with gold!
Dick- Well we are a gold mine and the whole road to Target Locked is revolving around our every move! Our defining moments are soon coming to a stop and I can "gauranDICKtee" that everyone will be "Dicked!"
The entire crew continues their celebrations as the scene comes to a close.
