Rowan Atkinson : An interview with Sir Elton John
Rowan: Good evening and welcome to the National Theattre Platform, where we are in the middel of our series of very informal chats with major performers. It has been a very exciting series, which has so far taken in such performing giants as Sir Ian McKellen, Dame Judi Dench and, of course, Christopher Biggins, but tonight, I'm particulerly glad to welcome a young man who is certainly no giant, but has made a huge impression in his chosen field. Ladies and gentlemen .... Mr. Elton John.
Enter
Rowan: Elton, do you mind if I call you Elton?
Elton: No.
Rowan: Well, ...Elton, obviously the first question everybody wants to ask you is, - funny name , Elton. How did you come up with it?
Elton: A friend of mine knew someone called Elton, and I just kind of liked it.
Rowan: Great. Did you ever consider John Elton?
Elton: No, I didn't.
Rowan: Fine. So, let's go back to those early albums. Your first was, I believe, just called Elton John.
Elton: That's right.
Rowan: And you didn't fell awkward with the name? You didn't fell that people would say, "Wait a minute - what a bloody stupid name. He means John Elton. They've gone and cocked up the sleeve and printed the bloody name the wrong way round"?
Elton: No, it sounded great to me. And, frankly, I thought people would be more interested in the music than the name.
Rowan: Perhaps . . . Now, going back to the song themselves - the lyrics were written by Bernie Taupin.
Elton: That's right.
Rowan: Well I'd like to talk about Bernie for a while, since obviously he's been an enormous influence on your career.
Elton: Yes.
Rowan: Did you ever think about getting him to change his name? Because, obviously, Taupin Bernie would have been more consistent with Elton John.
Elton: Look, do you want to talk about the music on those early album or not?
Rowan: Absolutely. I'd love to. "Your song" is a classic, isn't it?
Elton: Well, it's quite popular.
Rowan: Now, in one wonderful, informal verse in that song, talking about the eyes of the person the song's about, you say:
Excuse me for asking
But these things I do
You see, I,ve forgotten
If they're green or they're blue.
Elton: Yes.
Rowan: What I need to know is . . . is it this sort of chronic forgetfulness that led you to forget that Elton isn't, in fact, a Christian name at all? It's a surname and not very attractive one at that.
Elton: No, really, let's talk about something else.
Rowan: All right Elton, let's talk about being a stage performer. Do you ever watch other performer and get jealous?
Elton: I don't think so. Who do you mean?
Rowan: Well, for instance, Ben Elton - in his case, the "Elton" is in the right position - do you ever watch Ben and say , "I wish I'd got my bloody name the right way round'?
Elton: No I don't.
Rowan: Fair enough. Moving on - many consider your masterpiece to be the album Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road, and there's one song that people are particularly moved by, Candle in the wind.
Elton: Yes, it's a lot of people's favourite.
Rowan: This is actually a song dedicated to Norma Jean Baker, who ichanged her name to Monroe Marilyn.
Elton: Marilyn Monroe
Rowan: My point exactly! Marilyn is a Christian name, so it comes first! Can't you see that? Are you word-blind, or what?
Elton: All right - I've had enough of this.
Rowan: No, wait, wait. Now, final question: you've achieved enormous success over the years, but, in fact, you first-ever solo British Number One came last year with Sacrifice. Now, my big question is this: do you think you would have had to wait so long for a Number One if it hadn't been for your obviously mad, pointless name?
Elton shoots Rowan
Elton: What a head-dick.