I speak my mind. That's the way I am. One of the "downsides" to this predicament is that I get flames from time to time. The funniest thing is, most of them are from insanely stupid people who define the very word retard. Come to think of it, I have never gotten a flame from an intelligent person. Go figure.

So here for your amusement is a group of flames and the appropriate responses. I have fun writing these because, admit it, it's fun to mock people. Especially people who suck. Warning: This page may contain some spoilers, but nothing that hasn't gone around so many times that even I am sick of hearing it. But for you really anti-spoiler people...beware.

Record 224
Name: Sarah
Website: in your dreams ANnie
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From: i am not telling
Time: 2000-01-03 00:48:53
Comments: I love the show Buffy and buffy sites but the way you act is mean I hate you! I usaully like Buffy fans but you NO NO NO! I don't care that is you don't care if i don't like you! I DON'T LIKE YOU!!! mybe because you are rude to your guests which they could be surfing for a way better site like smgfan.com! there is my point For other people if you want to go to a good site about buffy that is NICE to you please go to www.smgfan.com i did not make it i just think it gives you EVERTHING you need to know! thank-you

Um, run-on sentence much? I'm hoping that this person, Sarah, is about eight years old. Otherwise, there really isn't much excuse for the stupidity of the writing. Could Sarah use some grammar lessons YES YES YES! I did want to pontificate on the "rude to [my] guests" comment. This website is not my house. It is not as if I invited people over and then served them a lovely meal with a smashing bottle of chianti. Everything I write has an intended audience of exactly one person, and that person is me. I'm not out trying to placate the masses. I enjoy writing quite a bit, and Buffy in particular is something I rather like writing about. But I don't write to make other people happy or to be accommodating. I don't think of the people that visit this site as my guests; instead, I tend to think of you more as people that happened upon my opus unintentionally (as I'm sure you did) and leave it at that. I am kind of indifferent when it comes to caring about the rest.

Something else. Every website is better than mine. That kind of goes without saying. Actually, I take that back, as I have been to a few websites that I would consider to be worse than my own. Of course, they were usually showcasing that fetching 404 error. I also appreciate being called not nice. Thanks. I think I just got a happy.

Record 96
Name: Tatyana
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In
From:
Time: 1999-03-05 22:34:04
Comments: I really do not think it is necessary to make condisending remarks about people who sign your page. It is a free country and for that they are entitled to voice their opinion. My spelling has never been excellent since I use spell check to double check my papers, but I think it is rude to make fun of others for something as minute as that. I think you have low self esteem issues and since you can't find anything to make fun of in educated letters you have to be petty and make fun of people for something. I think instead of putting people down, you should be more positive. If they are rude to you, you shouldn't steep down to their level. Your page isn't bad, could use spoilers. That's all.

Condisending? Condisending? What the fuck ever. I'm not the best speller in the world either, I freely admit that. But I keep a dictionary by my desk so that if I can't spell something correctly, I can look it up and avoid shame. I would rather take the time to make sure my words are for the most part spelled correctly than to post something in any forum with massive errors. I don't think it's minute at all, actually. I have enough pride in my work (and this goes for all my work - email to memos to website) that I want it to be understandable and spelled correctly. How can anyone expect to be taken seriously with shoddy spelling and grammar?

Yes, thank god it is a free country. Part of the charm in that being that I can make fun of whomever I wish. Sorry, but it does go both ways. I think it's cute when people write their little hysterical rantings. Also, I think it's absolutely a joy to disparage them. I have a scurrilous heart. If we have free speech than I have just as much a right to say whatever I wish as the people that send me email or sign my guestbook.

A few closing remarks. The first being that life has shown me that there is nothing to be positive about. The only people who are truly happy are retards and kids. Additionally, I was wondering about the "steep" comment. To steep is to brew tea. To suck is to be Tatyana.

Date: Sat, 02 Jan 1999 21:34:53 -0500
From: Irene Carucci
Organization: Monroe-Woodbury Schools
To: lilyalomar15@yahoo.com
Subject: you suck !

How can you call yourself a buffy fan when you don't like the hottest couple on t.v. Normally i don't bother emailing people but you are a moron. And i can back this up with more then the fact that angel is hot. Hello this whole relationship is a metaphor of the girl falls for the wrong guy, and about rushing into sex to fast. then again what the hell do you know you couldn't see paast the slayer and vampire thing. you don't deserve to watch Buffy. If your up for a good fight email me at absolut_slayer@alloymail.com

Irene, I'd personally like to thank you for making my point for me. Angel is the "wrong guy." They rushed into sex too quickly. Look what happened. And yes, I can get past the slayer/vampire thing, but Angel can't be trusted. You can't live in a relationship with the constant worry that you are going to make someone HAPPY for god's sake. (Though I do the same thing with my boyfriend.)

And since I mentioned my boyfriend, I would like to say that I am NOT gay. A lot of people have asked me if I am, and frankly, I've grown tired of it. And yet, I have a real appreciation for beautiful people, regardless of their sex. So do I think that Sarah, Alyson, Charisma and Eliza are hot? You better believe it. When I look at a lovely picture of Charisma wearing next to nothing, do I get a little "low-down tingle?" Uh-huh. Am I a psycho, butch, man-hating, corn-fed bike dyke? Uhhhhh, NO. And do I want to jump Tony, Nick or David? Yes, I most certainly do. Let's add James Marsters to that little mix as well. I know that a lot of people were probably just greatly offended by this paragraph, and all I have to say is "yay."

Just to irk Irene yet again, I have a few more things to say to her. I am up for a good fight, but my dear, I'm afraid that emailing you will not result in anything that can be described as "good." Besides, I am a proponent of capitalization, and you obviously are not. Seeing all those words uncapitalized would drive me into a fit of anger. And how can I call myself a Buffy fan? I would like to think that the countless hours that I have spent working on this site, reading about the BtVS gang, surfing the net for BtVS info and watching the show would qualify. Then again, since I'm not a Buffy/Angel fan, I guess I'm some kind of sub-human form. Which is fine with me, cause from what I've seen of humans, I don't really want to fall in that category.

Record 38
Name: darla
Website:
Referred by: AngelFire
From: sunnydale
Time: 1998-08-29 20:28:22
Comments: dear loser, angel is NOT DEAD he comes back after the first few episodes but then he leaves so does charisma because the are gonna be on ANGEL DUH........

This, obviously, is a record from my guestbook. This "person" wasn't brave enough to leave an email address, which is why I get to have my fun now. Of course, I will post some email from time to time, but anyway...

Now, I have to say, give this person big points for originality for saying he/she is from Sunnydale. About half the people who sign my gb say they are from Sunnydale. I hate to break it to you people, but Sunnydale is FICTIONAL. About the sex of this idiot - definitely female. I don't know what it is about women and Angel, but they are incredibly over-defensive when it comes to their sweet little murdering, obsessive, stalking, psycho little Angel. Angel should be in hell, he deserves it after what he did. I'm so in Xander's camp on this one, Xander shouldn't have told Buffy about the curse, or else she wouldn't have fought so hard, could have died...blah blah blah. This thing has been going on all summer, and I so don't want to really get into it except to say that Angel should pay for his sins. Big time. I'm having a feeling that his short little stint in hell isn't going to be nearly enough.

Actually, Angel is dead. He's a vamp, and vamps are dead. At the beginning of the summer, before I knew for sure that Angel would be back from hell on Buffy, I did write that he was "dead" from the standpoint that he wouldn't be playing much of a role on Buffy anymore. I'm disappointed that he will be back. I think that the integrity of Becoming, part two will be destroyed when that happens. No one knows when Angel will be back. I've read many conflicting reports, so it's likely it won't be in the first three eps.

As for the Charisma thing, none of this has been confirmed. There were and still are rumors flying around that Charisma Carpenter, aka Cordelia Chase, will be leaving Buffy to join the cast of the new Angel show. The thing is, it's a rumor. Nothing is confirmed, and I hear that CC doesn't want to leave the show, and who can blame her? I wouldn't want to leave Buffy to go on Angel either.

So, darla, all I have to say to you is DUH.

This gb entry still makes me laugh every time I read it. It's just so damn funny. Why is it funny? Well, there are a number of things, all of which I will explain.

The first is that this person cannot spell. Now I realize that this idiot was probably intentionally spelling incorrectly, but still. Nothing says "I have an intelligent, cogent thought to make" like the words "dis" "it'z" and "eva." Then we have the inconsistency, with the words "loser" and then "lozers~." Looks like someone is trying to make some sort of statement with that one, but I'm not sure exactly what it is. Maybe the tilde is like a cyber-dismissive wave of the hand to me. Or, it could symbolize his inner disgust with me and the way I run my page. Perhaps though, and I could be wrong about this one, THIS PERSON CANNOT FUCKING TYPE. And notice the misspelling of the word "cum." Hmmmm... looks like someone needs to get laid!

Another thing that makes me laugh is that this person, whom I will now refer to as the Mr. Smarty Pants (MSP for short), uses the four stars, ****, obviously as a retarded euphemism for the word "fuck." This is funny on two levels - MSP is telling ME not to curse, yet obviously is so angry and bitter at me, he can't think of a better word than fuck to symbolize his feelings toward me.

A thing about me - I like to cuss. My favorite word is most likely fuck, though crack is probably a close second (as in "I smoked so much crack today that I forgot to call you, baby...). I write the way I talk, and vice versa, obviously. The thing is, I CAN. I can say whatever the hell I want to. The First Amendment is a beautiful thing. Yay Constitution. Why do I cuss on my Buffy page? Because that's how I talk about Buffy. If you don't like it, or if you are young and impressionable, I have got one thing to say to you... don't fucking come to my page.

Well, hello Rachel, from Sunnydale, I see. I don't need to go into that one again, do I? I don't think so. I'm not really going to get into the swearing one, as I feel I just covered that one.

Nothing gives me a big happy as much being called "rude." So, Rachel, thanks so much for making my day.

I'm seeing a "loser" theme here. My opinion is that the only people who actually use the word loser to describe someone else are in fact really huge losers themselves. If you'll notice, I never, ever, ever call anyone a loser. Not only is it really lame in the insult department, which is what I am sure these two are driving at, but it just doesn't sound very threatening. And the "wimp" thing... oh good lord. I think that I stopped saying that word in grade four. Maybe it was third grade, that time is fuzzy and I don't remember it all so well. My point is that it's not accomplishing anything, except perhaps for making our good friend Rachel appear to be...puerile, pathetic and ultimately immature. Rachel, honey, use big-girl words, ok?

Record 18
Name: emaline
Website:
Referred by: Just Surfed On In!
From:
Time: 1998-08-07 03:22:23
Comments: your page is pretty much great the pictures rule! but why do you have to be so negative towards some things, like angel and the angel chronicles a lot of people come to the internet to find people that enjoy the same things as them. i'm sure they don't appreciate some of the remarks you made toward sweet boy angel, and other characters

I just copied this straight from my guestbook. This was my original response, and really, I don't feel as though much has changed. I might have used the word "fuck" a little less now, but I'm not positive. Well, enjoy.

Ed. Note: I really hate it when people write stuff like that and then don't even leave an email address for me to respond to, so now I am forced to defend myself in a public forum.

1. I know that people like to come on the internet to find people who think the same things that they do. However, this isn't a valid argument against why I shouldn't put my own fucking opinion on my own fucking page. Why should I put up a page about what other people want to hear? I'm not like that; I say what I think, and if you don't like it, you can seriously kiss my ass. I don't care what other people think.
2. I don't care if people don't like some of the remarks I've made. You want to know why? Because it's MY opinion, not their own. If they don't like my opinion, or disagree about a certain character, they should make their own webpage and put THEIR opinion on it, instead of bitching to me because I happen to think that there should be more to a character and a human being besides their looks. (Angel fans constantly send me email telling me I should like him because he is "hot." Pardon me for not giving a fuck.)
3. Why was I negative about the Angel Chronicles? Because it fucking sucked. If you read it, you would know what I mean. It has nothing to do with the fact that it's Angel focused, it just is absolutely talentless, first grade writing. So why should I say I like it when I don't?
4. Why am I negative about precious Angel? Because for a while, I didn't like his character. Brooding, sulking, dark and moody Angel had no appeal to me whatsoever. Now, Angelus I really enjoyed, which I stated numerous times.
5. And finally, why do I have to be negative? That's pretty easy to answer. There are things to be negative about. Buffy isn't a perfect show, and the world is (gasp) imperfect as well. Even my grammar is lacking from time to time. I know, miracles abound.

Now I've probably scared everyone away from signing my gb, but if this person had just left an email address, I wouldn't have had to shame him/her like this.

As you can see, I got this as an email. I like people that send email much more than people who sign a gb without leaving an address. This person has a bit more balls, but not too much.

I kinda like this email because this person takes a smartass comment that I make completely seriously. Seems like I rubbed ol' rexenne the wrong way, and for that I am proud. I am even more proud that rexenne cannot spell. There is just something about a person trying to make a point, but then totally fucking it up by looking like a total imbecile by spelling something incorrectly. "Discust." Let's just look at that again. OK, that's probably enough of that.