I scrutinize the TV Guide online page every week looking for the films. I watch them. I tape them. I watch them again. I keep on watching the good parts over and over. I run screengrabs. I write reviews. So I know a little bit about this stuff. Granted, I have a lot of free time on my hands. I understand that you, the equally appreciative and discerning Blakefan, might not. You don't want to wade through hours and hours of Emilio Estevez footage for five minutes of Geoffrey Blake. Emilio's a fine actor, but he's no Geoffrey. And that is understandable. Because I understand your needs, and because I still have way too much free time, I have devised a simple ratings system that will help you decode the Blake content of each of the films on the reviews page.
Screen Time: Quantity is just as important as quality! The size of Geoffrey's role is an important factor to consider. If a film has one clock, this essentially means that his role is little more than a cameo. But if a film has ten clocks, he is the star, and his full range of acting abilities is on display in all its glory for the legions of Blakefans the world over.
Woundage: As you might have already noticed, Geoffrey tends to get injured or killed in most of his films. Perhaps it's because he is so good at the pain grimace. Or perhaps people simply derive a strange and perverse pleasure from hurting him. I don't know. Anyway, the torture thingy is used as a gauge for woundage in each Blakefilm. If the film has one torture thingy, you can probably bet it's a low-violence film overall, but it's also safe to assume that Geoffrey's character escapes the film relatively unscathed. But if the film has ten torture thingys, parental guidance is strongly suggested for younger Blakefans. Make sure you watch the whole movie, though- all this excess injury has made our hero strangely resilient!
Aesthetics: Now comes the reason most of Geoffrey's fans keep on tuning in to watch him get wounded over and over. Besides his amazing acting abilities, of course. Yes, he's good-looking. And yes, I him. Don't we all? But exactly how adorable he is is definitely a quality that must be considered in each film. If I award a film one heart, for example, that means "not if you paid me!". (Trust me, as a student of a single-sex institution who really doesn't get out much, this rarely happens.) But if a film gets 10 hearts, this means that Mr. Blake ought to call an attorney and have said attorney prepare a restraining order in advance. (Just kidding. I don't want to jeopardize my future professional career by spotting it with stalker law violations, and I also have a certain measure of respect for Mr. Blake's privacy.)
