Cupid's Arrow Makes Cyber~Connection

This story was featured in the Longview Daily Tribune on February 14, 1998

Authored by Mike Elswick

Cupid's arrow took a detour on the information superhighway and made a direct hit.

At least that's how Teresa Edwards of Longview and Paul Guest of Indianapolis, Ind., said they feel.

To prove their point, the pair, who met via an Internet chat room, will be tying the know today in Valentine's Day wedding ceremonies at Spring Hill Baptist Church.

The couple said the fact that they ever connected in a country of millions is amazing. Guest works as a computer consultant and spends much of his time traveling on assignment across the country.

Edwards, the mother of two who works as a nurse for a home health agency, had not spent a lot of time on the computer and had never been in a chat room. But one of her daughters got her interested in the idea.

Guest, though familiar with computers, the Internet and what's going in the world of Web sites, had never really ventured into cyberspace looking for companionship.

"There are a lot of weird people out," he said. Guest said he had heard about some horror stories of people who had met via computers, and he had steered away from that area of the information superhighway.

But on June, 30, 1997, Guest, working on assignment in Los Angeles, and Edwards from her East Texas home, each ended up in a chat room aimed at those aged 30 or over who might be looking for romance. Both are divorced and have two daughters each from previous marriages.

"I thought maybe I'd meet someone to talk to," Guest said.

"It was my first time ever in a chat room. My daughter had tried it and had fun," Edwards said.

The pair visited over the computer lines, she using the nickname Teeny and he using Travelin, for awhile that night and got together for another on-line visit a couple of nights later. Not long after that, they were spending four to five hours a night visiting.

Edwards and Guest were finding out they had a lot in common and shared many similar thoughts. They exchanged photographs and made arrangements to meet at the airport in Shreveport when Guest flew in after completing one of his work assignments.

The first in-person meeting took place only two weeks after their initial on-line conversation. But because of the hours they had spent visiting, they nearly felt like old friends, they said.

Edwards and her sister, Kim Abbott, planned to meet Guest in Shreveport amid a lot of apprehension and excitement.

"For the physical part, I just didn't know if the sparks would fly," Edwards said.

They did.

"We were real cautious at first," Guest said. But both agreed they hit things off and said their first in-person meeting was just like a continuation of their on-line Internet conversations.

Guest said probably 90 percent of the couple's relationship was established over the Internet. For developing  a relationship, that method can have some advantages.

"That way you get to know the other person first without a physical attraction getting in the way," Edwards said.

"The 'Net is a good way to get to know people because you're not blinded by the physical stuff, but you still have to take your time," Guest said.

While the Internet relationship for Edwards and Guest has worked out, they do not advise moving into such friendships without a lot of caution.

Among the suggestions Guest provided were not giving your real name and address until a person is certain they want the other person to have it. And, if a relationship develops to that point, plan the first in-person meeting in a public place, preferably with a friend or family member at the meeting, he said.

Guest also suggested watching out for inconsistencies in statements made by newfound on-line friends.

"If a person is lying, it's going to catch up with them eventually," he said. "If inconsistencies surface in conversations, that could be a strong sign something is wrong," Guest said.

Not only did the couple have to overcome their own personal apprehensions, but they each had families who were urging them to take their Internet friendship slowly. Personal meetings with each other's parents ands other relatives have eased those cautious attitudes, they said.