crap i wrote...

this was from an assignment in computer science I in high school. we had to type up a
diary from our past week. needless to say, we were allowed to just make stuff up.
the first week is what i made up for a friend’s week. the second week is what i made up
for my own.

Sunday: I counted the ceiling tiles in my house. 8,400. Wow...if the tiles were cattle, I’d
have a lot of Cattle!
Monday: I talked to myself on the phone today. Sometimes I just like to hear that little
beeping noise that comes on when the receiver is off the hook for too long. Anyway, I
had a lot to say.
Tuesday: I painted the nails of every family member, including the animals. Whoo-hoo!
Wednesday: Today is Wednesday. Hello? Can anyone hear me? I like colored chalk.
:o)
Thursday: I got gum stuck between my toes. Don’t ask... Also, don’t ask how we
removed it.
Friday: I found a peanut today. It was behind the dryer. It looked okay, so I ate it. Not
so bad...better than I’d expect, anyway.
Saturday: Today I discovered something...Yogi Bear is smarter than the average
bear!

Sunday: My parents, who are elves, completed our cabin in the Indian Ocean.
Monday: My sister joined a cult, which none of my family approves up. Our cow, Alex
Trebek, exploded because he wasn’t milked soon enough. (They make a “sput” noise
before that happens, ya know. If you hear that, you’d better run.)
Tuesday: Ronald Reagan came to visit the new cabin. He swam out there. Powerful
swimmer, I guess. Good for him.
Wednesday: I shot Peter Jennings. I don’t know why...he just bugged me. I guess I feel
guilty...a little. No one knows yet. I hid his body in a tree trunk that I hollowed out.
Sh-h-h...
Thursday: I bought some drapes for the cabin. I think Ronald will be coming back to visit
soon. We hope he’ll approve. His opinion is semi-important to my dad. My father is
crazy, by the way. He thinks his hat is trying to eat his head, and that’s why he won’t
wear it anymore. He’s also afraid of his hands. He thinks they’ll clasp his mouth and nose
some night while he’s sleeping, and they’ll suffocate him.
Friday: We got a new cow today, since Alex Trebek blew up on Tuesday. Our new
cow’s name is Simon. We just need to remember to milk this one sometimes.
Saturday: Ronald phoned and said he plans to visit again tomorrow. That will please my
dad. (He’s crazy, ya know.) Ronald intends to travel here by boat this time, instead of
swimming over. This is because he is bringing with him a golden retriever or five.

the rest of this stuff is stuff i had to write for a creative writing class i took in high school:

ceiling fan spins
blades look like fins

In My House
My parents are old,
and the house is cold.
There’s laundry to fold,
and insurance sold.

Angel
she’s cold where she lies
above us she flies

Sparkled clothing with
blue socks and Mickey Mouse ears
That’s Columbia
(of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"--the picture shows Columbia [on your left] painting Magenta's [on your right] toenails.)

Old MacDonald’s goat
was completely out of pants,
so he ate boxers. smiley

Little Boat
it’s green, blue, and red
it has eyes and a big grin
it’s small--hence it’s name smiley