An audio skit:
Scotch:  “I am troubled once more by the temporal regions of my being.  They have been
tormented by a fiendesh acomplis who strikes me when I expect it least.  Lashing out into
my mind, thoughts of hell and fire do persist.  Therefore I seek shelter from my woes.  In
doing so I came across the phone number of a pychiactric phycisian.  Upon aranging an
apointment I traveled to see this man of science with whom I must devulge a very
interesting case study.  For I am dealing with the devels work.  I do not know what causes
such phenomina.  Possinbly the trauma of bearing witness to my father haveing his geesh
peirced - that little piece of flesh guys have between thier scrotum and their ass hole.  Or
maybe the fact that at the age of two my mother took my brother Frankie from our crib
and performed an operation leaving him with a spliced penis.  At first I didn’t know what
to make of my brothers penis.  While before he posesed one large healthy, readily erect
penis, now he had two slender ones, equal in length- yet flat on the inner sides.  But these
were merely suggestions I knew the doctor might propose as he ought to.  The real reason
of my mental decapasatation was simple.  Korkru the Demon Lord was here to stay.
Wether both of us would survive was a different question.”

Korkru:  “Korkru does not- like waiting!”

Scotch:  “The receptionist said it would only be a few minuts.”

Korkru:  “The receptionist is a cunt-bitch!”

Scotch:  “Just hold on, you can wait.”

Boy:  “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but overhere the conversation you were haveing with
yourself.  I often converse with myself.  I have been told that I talk in tounges at times.
What I really like doing with my toungue is shoveing it in the anal cavity of larvi.  But
thats a different matter....  Would you like to play cards to ease the anxiety of your wait?”

Korkru:  “Korkru likes Uno!”

Scotch:  “No thank you, cards disturb me.”

Boy:  “I love cards.  I could play cards all day. The spades, the diamonds, the hearts, the
joker.  Oh how I love the joker!  How it must feel to be the joker.  I want to meet him.
Greet him.  Worship him.  Become the joker.”

Scotch:  “Sounds fitting.  Now could you please move to the other side of the waiting
room?  Your precense is causing me distress.  You obviously are from a genetically
deficient background.”

Boy:  “Me?  I was raised in a duck pond!  How dare you question my lineage!  You see,
you and I are really alike.  We both are nuts!  I like to masterbate to nude pictures of
puppy dogs playing with school children.”

Scotch:  “What a waste of valuable time, which could be better spent downloading
flatulance sound wave files off the internet.”

Boy:  “Then I go into thier homes and kill the inocent!”

Scotch: angry  “Were not the same!”

Korkru:  “Kill is such a friendly word.......Mutiny in the air.”

Boy:  “Don’t you enjoy the taste of fresh young blood?  I know you do- I bet thats why
your here, isnt it?” pause  “What do you have in your bag?  I bet its your instruements for
tourture.  I’d like to get my hands on those.”

Scotch:  “Don’t touch that!” The sound of a bag roughling is heard.

Boy:  “What the hell is this?”

Scotch:  “It’s a Oral Hygene Cleanser....... for haveing oral sex.”

Boy:  “I bet this is important to you huh?  It would be a shame if someone broke it.”  The
sound of it smashing on the floor is heard.

Korkru:  “Kill him!  The destrucition of property is a direct violation against the
Comandments of Korkru!”

Scotch:  “AHHH!  That was for my mother!  You son of a bitch! I’ll peal the skin off
your testicle and feed it to termites!  This chair will now be placed directly up your ass!”

Boy:  “Ahhh... where are you dragging me?”

Scotch:  “To the proctology office next door, so that I may use their stirups in order to
properly insert the chair into your anus.”

Korkru:  “Show him how a man takes it.”

Receptionist:  “Scotch?  The doctor is ready to see you now.”

Scotch:  “To bad.  I’ll deal with you later.  Scotch does not harm the inocent!”

Recetionist:  “Right this way please.”

Doctor:  European accent.  “Hello Scotch.  Welcome.  I want to make you feel right at
home so that you can help us help you.  You can lie down rigth over here on the couch.”
sound of couch cussions - sitting.  “Um, why are you hanging upside down off the
couch?”

Scotch:  “When I lie upside down all the blood rusehes to my head and I can
concenttrate- that way there’s  no blood in my penis - he sort of has a mind of his own
sometimes.”

Doctor:  “I see.  Well lets start out by giving you a simple examination.  This is the
famouse ink blot test as you may have regognized.  I want you to tell me what you see
when I hold up the cards- OK?  Lets begin.”

The sound of a card being flipped precedes each thing Scotch says:
Scotch:  “Decapitated penis - Dog vomiting the head of a baby - Two turds makeing love
- Sewed together vaginal lips-  A giant chishkabob wich consists of the head of a lamb,
several fetuses, the eye of a cow and a well roasted kitten.”

Doctor:  “Ok Scotch now I want to do some word asociations.  Tell me what first pops
into your mind when you hear the word I say.  What do you think of when I say bike?”

Korkru:  “Brains!”

Doctor:  “Car.”

Korkru: “Brains!”

Doctor:  “How about the Empire State building?”

Scotch:  “A big huge dick!”

Doctor:  “An arrow?”

Scotch:  “My skinny little pecker.”

Doctor:  “It is very interesting how all of your answers have to do with death or sex.”

Scotch:  “The whole world is a phalic symbol- the earth a giant testicle!  Kill everyone
and fuck thier corpses!  Oh doctor, doctor- help me please- Korkru puts these thoughts in
my head!”

Korkru:  “Silence!  You will not reveal Korkru!  Or you will die!”

Doctor:  “Tell me of this Korkru.”

Scotch:  “Oh he is a being so horrid as that words can not describe.  If you only knew of
the torment and anguish I feel.  He comes to me and controlls my thoughts, feelings and
actions.  He talks in my head !  I am powerless against him.  Just rid me of him!”

Doctor:  “Heres an idea- lets roll it up in a joint and see if anyone smokes it.  It is in my
professional oppinion that you have repressed sexual feelings which manifest themselfes
in Korkru.  The anal, the oral and the phalic.  Its a very ubsurd case you have here, yet I
do not deny its truth.  Tell me of any sexual feelings you may have been experienceing
latly”

Scotch:  “I keep haveing visions of Pooh being mounted by piglet.”

Doctor:  “Ahh- I see.  Tell me of your visions.”

Korkru:  “Pooh is as deep as the panama canal, what a gal!”

Scotch:  “Well it all started with this repetative dream.  Just as I was about to wake up,
I’d have the same vivid images flash before my eyes.”

Korkru:  “But of course, Piglet is hung like a horse!”

Scotch:  “How it usually started out was that Piglet would sneek up to Pooh from behind
and quickly enter.  Then then thier would be some dialog:  ‘Pooh!’ he whispered. 'Yes,
Piglet?'  'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw.  'I just wanted to let you know that I
love you.'’  Piglet wiggled and squirmed, and was small on comparison, but all and all I
got the impression that Pooh was glad that it was his good friend Piglet who was inside
him.”

Doctor:  “That is very interesting.  You have a complex problem that I will attempt to
evaluate.  From your accounts and the test, it seems you suffer from a sexual repression
and subconsious fixation.”

Scotch:  “Yes, but it gets worse.  Now I’m starting to have sexual thoughts about Winnie
the Pooh.”

Korkru:  “What the fuck is a Pooh?”

Doctor:  “Really.  Tell me of these thoughts.”
 
Scotch:  “I want to know how his skin feels close to mine.  Learn his inner secrets.
Know how he likes his honey.”

Korkru:  “He likes it hard and stiff, like guys named Cliff.”

Doctor:  “Your condition seems to stem from early childhood memories.  Were you ever
raped with a toy object?”

Scotch:  “Um, well, once my mother stuck her hand up my ass to get a nickle I
swallowed, pulled free from my sphinkter.  But other than that, I can’t think of any times
durring my childhood when objects were placed into my anal cavity.”

Doctor:  “I think that the only way to rid you of Korkru and your obsession with Pooh
and his ass is to give your desires what they want!”

Korkru:  “Korkru demands Pooh!”

Doctor:  “Tracy, could you bring me my daughters Pooh Bear doll.  I think she left it in
the lobby when she was here yesterday.”

Tracy (Receptionist):  over intercom.  “Right away sir.”

Scotch:  “What do you expect me to do with the doll?”

Doctor:  “What your Id desires.  Take the doll - love it!”

Korkru:  “Fuck it’s brains out!  Korkru loves brains!”

Scotch:  “No!  I can’t do that!  Your all sick!”

Doctor:  “There is only me my dear Scotch.  Do not be afraid I can help you.”

Scotch:  “You just want to molest me.  They all do!”

Korkru:  “Rape the doll!”

Receptionist:  “Here is the doll sir.”

Doctor:  “Now come on Scotch, ease yourself into the doll.”

Scotch:  “What the fuck kind of treatment is this?  You expect me to make love to a
stuffed doll?!!  You Vouyeristic son of a bitch!  You just want to masterbate while you
see me perform sodomy on a toy!  Go to hell!”

Korkru:  “Korkru wants to get it on with the bear!”

Scotch:  “Ahhh!  He’s controlling me... I can’t fight back...”  turning into Korkrus voice.
“I .. ahh... You will all face the rath of the almighty Korkru!  Give me the bear Bitch!”
zipper undone is heard.  “I will show all of you the proper way to ream Winnie the Pooh
in the ass!!”  Sqeeking and Scotch/Korkru’s grunts are heard as he fucks the doll.

Doctor:  “Dear god man!  Get a hold of yourself!  It was only a metaphor- I did not mean
for you to actually have intercourse with the thing!”

Scotch:  still Korkru voice  “Get a hold of myself?  Why don’t I get a hold of you- you
cunt -bitch!  Want some of this?”

Doctor:  “Oh no - get away!  Help!  Let go of my pants!  Dear god he’s rapeing me!”

Scotch:  “Serves you right!”  The doctor begins to grunt at regular intervals throughout
the rest of the skit.

Boy:  “Well isn’t this cute!  Now how’s about you get what you deserve!”

Scotch:  “What?!  Noo!  Korkru is the only one doing the rapeing around here!”

Boy:  “I’ll see about that!  My large pecker in your pimple puss ass aught to do just
nicely!”  zipper sound.

Scotch:  “Ahhh!  He’s raping me!”  Scotch and the boy start to grunt along with the
doctor at regular intervals for a good half a minut  and then stop all with a sigh.