A Game of Fungo

January 13, 1987 - Grand Rapids, Michigan- Carla Simpson

I was  coming home one night from work (I work a night shift at Denny's) when I came to stop light.  It was around 1:30 A.M. and the street was fairly well lit.  I was just sitting in my car listening to Air Supply, waiting for the light to change, when I noticed a man sitting alone at the bus stop.  He had a strange look about him and I began to get nervous as I saw him looking at me.  I locked my doors and tried to stare straight ahead, but I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was approaching my car.  I slowly reached down to grab my cell phone and that is when I saw him.  For a brief second, he stepped out into the street light and I saw a large bald black man wearing a a long trench coat and a Texas Ranger's baseball hat.  He kept coming closer until he was standing right in front of my car, the light turned green, but he was in my way.  I honked at him and reved the engine, hoping he would simply move, but he just stood there staring at me.  Frightened, I grabbed my cell phone, but some how it had no power (I knew it was charged before, and I could not explain it).  The man just stood there for several moments until finally I put my car in reverse and started to back up, then he took off his trench coat.  I screamed as I stared at him, completely naked except for the fact he was wearing a jock strap, a baseball glove, and the Ranger hat.  He then bent down and pulled a wooden bat and ball from his coat.  As i began to try to drive away he yelled to me, "Hit Ruben a few".  i did not know what to do so I started to leave, and he jumped on to the hood of my car and said again, "Hit Ruben a few!".  I now became angry and started yelling for him to get off my car, when he wouldn't I finally just hit the accelerator.  At this point, he jumped down and ran over to my door and smashed his bat through the window.  I was scared so I hit the brakes, and that is when he reached in and pulled me out.  My car kept going and rolled down the street, as I lay at the feet of this half nude crazy man.  I looked at him and said. "Please take my purse and my watch.  Just don't hurt me."  He just smiled and said for a third time. "Hit Ruben a few".

I said I didn't know what he meant and he grabbed me, "You hit Ruben some flies balls.  Ruben need to practice."

He handed me the bat and ball, then he motioned for me to pitch up the ball and hit it to him.  I was too scared to argue so I did it, and for the next few minutes we stood there in the street, me hitting him fly balls and him catching them, completely naked.  I know some of you may ask why I didn't just run away as i had the opportunity, but I couldn't.  Maybe it was his large belly, the way his butt checks shined in the moonlight, or the huge size of his glove but I was under his spell.  We did this for what seemed forever then I happened to hit him a fly ball that was a few feet to his right and he became agitated.

"Ruben no hustle for fly balls.  If out of range of my huge glove Ruben no like." he yelled.  Then he lowered his glove to his penis and began to stroke it with the glove .

 I now was completely under his control, and I can't explain it, but all I could think about was how he was ruining our game of fungo.  I begged him to stop, but he just laughed.  I started screaming as loud as I could for him to stop, that he was ruining everything.  Then finally, i heard a noise and a lady came out of a near-by house.  She asked me what I was doing in the middle of the street at this time of night yelling.  I told her I was simply mad because the naked black man in front of me wouldn't stop masturbating and go back to catching the fly balls I was hitting him.

She just looked at me and said, "There is no one else there."

"Of course there is." I told her, but as I turned around he was gone.  I was speechless.

The lady eventually called the cops and they came and picked me up, they found my car a block away, it had run into a light pole .  I told them all that had happened about Ruben, the fly balls, his jock strap, and the masturbating, but no one believed me.  They couldn't find anyone that could validate my story and there was no evidence the man was ever there.  I was eventually sent to a mental hospital and I have spent the last 15 years in therapy.  I can honestly say I am finally getting over my experience, but on dark and windy nights I still sometimes here the words again..."Hit Ruben a few"  floating on the breeze, and I shriek in terror.  Perhaps, he will haunt me forever.