Birthday

Birthday
Written by Mere Smith
Directed by Michael Grossman

Original Airdate: January 14, 2002

Plot: On her birthday, Cordelia is hit by a vision so powerful that it knocks her out of her body and onto the astral plane. Once there, Skip the demon provides her with a quick peek into what her life might have been like had she not run into Angel in L.A.

Review

Warning: This is not a "what if" type of scenario. I will tell you that there are major SPOILERS just ahead for the latest episode of Angel, "Birthday." If you've not seen it yet and want to go in unaware of any of the twists and turns of the story, then I strongly suggest you turn back now.

In short: A nice return from repeats.

"What if" stories are nothing really new or different. Marvel Comics used to have an entire series of stories that were called "What If" and looked at such things like "What if the burglar had not killed Uncle Ben?" or "What if Bruce Banner hadn't been on the testing ground that day?" And we're just now coming out of the time of year when the ultimate "what if" movies used to air virtually non-stop--"It's a Wonderful Life."

I'm sure the question of "what if" is something that all of us have asked about our lives. And around the time of your birthday is usually when these questions seem to occur. Well, that and New Year's. I know that with my birthday fast approaching, it can be very easy to play the "what if" game with myself and to wonder at the possible doors that life might have opened had I taken a different route. Would I be happier, more financially well-off? What if I'd actually worked up the gumption to tell someone how I felt instead of denying it and letting them walk out of my life, etc? These are all questions that I think we examine from time to time in our lives.

So, in watching "Birthday" I can really emphasize with what Cordelia is going through. To be given the chance to look at the possible different turn your life can take is something that I'm sure would be very tempting for all of us--I know it's really tempting for me. And seeing Skip, the demon, break down a pivotal moment in your life into being as easy to dissect as a football play was interesting and a bit unnerving. It's one of those moments that makes you go--wow, life can really change in the blink of an eye and completely without any kind of warning.

And to have Cordelia forced to face this question on or around her birthday is really a nice touch. These might be things that she's considering as well. Certainly we've seen moments where Cordelia tried to mesh the life she wants with the life she has. This is a pretty old theme for Joss Whedon based shows--we saw this going back all the way to season one of Buffy where Buffy tries to mesh her life as the Slayer with the fact that she wants to be a normal teenager. I think we've seen over the years that Buffy has found that where she is most herself is in the role of being Slayer and that anything else just ends up not working out as well.

And we're seeing that sort of thing also happening with Cordelia. Heaven knows she probably didn't wish for these visions to be given to her. They weren't that great a gift, really. As the audience, we've seen the private, painful side of the visions--the one Cordelia won't share with her friends. We saw that while the visions cause Cordy great pain, she wants and needs them because she really does want to be part of the forces of good and to help Angel in his quest. Indeed, back at the end of "That Vision Thing" Cordelia stated she needed the visions because otherwise she served no active role in the gang of Angel Investigations. Or at least she thought she'd serve no active role.

The idea that Cordelia feels that if she lost the visions, she'd have no role or bring anything to the gang is an interesting one. It's interesting that this is her fear--that she might turn into the Xander of the group, or at least how she perceives Xander's role in the Scooby gang. Remember that on Buffy's third season episode "The Zeppo" Cordelia accuses Xander of being the weakest link in the Scooby gang and that he brings nothing but the doughnuts to the group. And I think it's interesting to see how Cordelia see herself as maybe becoming that to the Angel Investigations group and just what she will do and give up in order to keep her role there, fighting the good fight with Angel.

Indeed, the sense of dread and darkness that comes to the lives of those she touches was palatable. Seeing Wesley without an arm was one of the more shocking moments of the show. But the biggest shock was seeing Angel tormented by the visions as he was. I've got to give David Boreanaz a lot of credit here--he really did a superb job with the scenes as tormented Angel. Seeing Angel in such a state makes you realize just how strong he really is and how easily that could be broken down and destroyed. I can only imagine how vicious and horrible it might be to be tormented by the sins of your past and the vision as Angel was in the "what if" segment.

One thing that was of interest was Cordelia has touched the lives of those around her in a positive way. We saw Gunn as still being fairly happy, though how much of that was an act is anyone's guess, but otherwise things were bleak. Wesley was a darker version of himself, Fred is probably still trapped in Pylea (Cordy's not sucked over there so Angel and company can't go rescue her) and Angel is, well, pretty messed up. Indeed, in the world that Skip showed Cordy, it raised a lot of issues of just how one person can make a difference--even if it's only in the small things. Of course, part of that world was meant to show an extreme of what could happen had Cordy not been there, but it's scary to think how one simple moment in Cordelia's life could come back to haunt everyone around her so. And it's also interesting that Doyle died--that was something that I expected because it is unlikely that the actor who played him could come back but also because Doyle did what he did in Hero to make show himself worthy of Cordy's love. That's interesting and it makes you wonder a lot of things about would Doyle have sacrificed himself so easily in Hero had Cordelia not been there.

And to see Cordelia make her choice--to choose the life she already has and loves, while not unexpected, was nicely done. Indeed, the whole "what if" sort of show has been done on other shows--the biggest example that comes to my mind is Star Trek: The Next Generation's "Tapestry" where Q shows Picard what life would have been like had he changed one moment in his life. (It's a GREAT episode BTW and one that is definitely worth seeing). In the end, Picard realizes how the events that he changes really affected who he became and how he liked that person better and ends up changing back. And we saw that with Cordelia here. Yes, she could have freed herself of the visions and had a life of worldly success, but we see that she feels empty from that life. Instead she wants a life without the worldly definition of success, but that is pleasing to her and makes her happy. This girl has come a long way from the popular girl that we once saw in Sunnydale and I like the arc her character has taken to get to this point.

But in that, we also saw bits and pieces of the Cordelia we know and love. Namely seeing her tell Skip that there had to be a loophole between the life she didn't want and death was nicely done. And the choice that Cordelia made is an interesting one and one that should have huge consequences for her as the season and series goes along. She's part demon now. And while that may be better for her dealing with the visions, as we saw with Doyle this brings up a whole new set of issues and questions that could be interesting to delve into. It also continues to set up things for Cordy and Angel to get together since now they're both part demon.

And as much as I've drug my feet and shouted that I don't want it to happen, I will admit that I'm coming over to the side of seeing that Angel and Cordy do feel more for each other than mere friendship. The scene where she kissed Angel to take the visions from him and free him--with no thought of how it affected her and would change her life--was a profound and moving moment in the show. And based on what happens as the show concluded, I can't wait to see if and how this develops. I wonder if it was on of those lights on moments for Cordelia--she may have never considered how she feels for Angel until that moment. But now she might have and this could lead to other things. Do I think it should happen? I'm not sure. But if it keeps developing the way it has, they're really taking me from the dissenting objector to a supporter of the idea. And that's a huge turnaround for someone who at the start of the year said this should never, ever under any circumstances happen EVER. So chalk one up to the writing staff--they have done a great job of making this work.

Well, I guess that's about it for now, except a few small things...

--Counting up on my fingers and toes, I figure this must be Cordelia's 21st birthday, which is really the last big one you look forward to. (As someone who is rapidly approaching 30, I can tell those of you turning 21 or having one of the big b'days--16, 17, 18, etc. savor them now! LOL).

--Phantom Dennis was well used. I liked how Gunn and Fred got him to reveal what he knew because of how much he cared about Cordy. It might be interesting to see where Phantom Dennis would be without Cordelia.

--So, Cordy's been hiding all her pain and tests and medication from Angel and company. Can't wait to see how all that plays out.

--So, are Cordy's med problems gone?

--The Cordelia floating scene at the end was nicely done.

--Again, let me say that seeing Skip again was a nice touch.

--Seeing Angel's argument with the powers that be was nice. And seeing how beat up Lorne was was jolting.

Well, that's about it for now. All in all, a nice start to the new year for Angel and a great way to get show on a role for new episodes.

Rating: 8.0 (out of 10.0)

Next up: Angel figures out that it costs money to care for babies...and goes about a way to start earning some income.