THIRTEEN EROTIC GHOSTS
PLOT-A television news crew experiences ghostly lesbonic happenings in a haunted girls' school.
VIOLENCE-Although it is understood that everyone in the school died in a huge fire, we don't see any actual deaths.
SEX/NUDITY-Lotsa softie lesbian action runs rampant. Every female cast member gets busy at some point.
WHY I BOUGHT IT-I've said it before and I'll say it again: I will check out ANY movie that has Julie Strain on the cover. She is awesome no matter what movie she's in, and adds a certain quality just by being on screen. Plus, this movie comes with a pair of 3-D glasses because the lesbian love scenes are in 3-D. How cool an idea is that? Nipples that threaten to poke your eye out, high heels that seem to protrude in your face, and ass that hangs out onto your living room floor. Plus, I should mention that b-movie vets Jay Richardson and Richard Gabai are the co-stars of the film! These guys have added great comic relief to many a shitty late-night cable flick, and are genuinely funny. Richard looks amazingly the same as he did in the 80's, and uses the same facial expressions (he's also directed a good many b-films as well), and Jay is his usual crack-up self (although he is looking old). Aria Giovanni (from SURVIVORS EXPOSED) plays one of the ghosts. And did I mention that Julie Strain FUCKING RULES?!!!
WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE-Number one, the 3-D just doesn't work that well. Normally movies that are shot in 3-D have stuff that jumps out at you, or things that are filmed specifically to look cool in 3-D. I get the feeling that the 3-D in this movie was an afterthought. There's not much difference in putting the glasses on and taking them off. You really have to psyche yourself into thinking stuff is 3-D for the effect to even slightly work. Every now and t hen, a girl's foot will move outward or something, and it looks neat for a half second. That's it. Also, the movie isn't funny despite having Gabai and Richardson. There wasn't much of a script and they improvised everything (I think). Plus, this movie is very very short. I don't believe it was much more than an hour, if that. Not worth $14.99 for sure, except for maybe the scenes with Julie in them (there aren't a whole lot).
MEMORABLE SCENES-Julie breaks out the riding crop in one sex scene (where she diddles a set of blonde twins), and the 3-D effect works best here. She whips it around and spanks that ass, and it looks really cool. Too bad they didn't do more of that stuff in the other 5 or 6 3-D sex scenes.
DVD NOTES-This is probably the best disc yet from b-movie master Fred Olen Ray's RETROMEDIA label. It actually has extras beyond a trailer. THIRTEEN EROTIC GHOSTS has a cool making-of feature (with Julie Strain interviews), a still gallery, and the obligatory trailer. I probably should buy TEENAGE EXORCIST and EVIL TOONS sometime too.
(August 2002)