JACQUELINE HYDE
Written and Directed by Rolfe Kanefsky
Featuring Gabriella Hall, Blythe Metz, Jim Patneaude and Patrick Thomas.
2005
Official Website

Depending on what you're looking for when you get this flick, you're either going to be disappointed, pleasantly surprised, or downright conflicted. I ended up in the latter category, because although I'm a fan of director Kanefsky and star/co-producer Gabriella Hall, there's a major part of this film that I just didn't understand. More on that later.

JACQUELINE HYDE concerns a shy, lonely telemarketer named Jackie Hyde (Hall) who reaches the end of her rope one day and finally lets loose on a rude customer. She loses her job, but almost simultaneously learns she has inherited a kickass mansion from her recently deceased grandfather. Not too bad a deal, but soon after Jackie settles in, she discovers gramps' secret stash of test tubes filled with a mysterious glowing red liquid. If you're familiar with the classic Jeckyll & Hyde story, you know Jackie must drink the stuff and undergo some kind of transformation. And she does.

Now we get to the aspect of this film that completely baffled me. The character of Jackie is supposed to be plain jane: easy to miss, non-assertive, and inhibited. That way, when she transforms into the oversexed Jacqueline (an energized performance by Blythe Metz), we see a definite drastic change. Hall plays Jackie extremely well, that's not the problem. The issue is, the makers of JACQUELINE HYDE made no attempt to 'ugly her up', so to speak. Even in the cheesiest movies, they'd give Hall some thick glasses to hide behind (cliche=girl goes from nerdy to beautiful just by taking off glasses and letting hair down). No so here: Jackie is a knockout beauty from the get-go, and thus, it is difficult to really buy her as someone who would not have men and women falling at her feet. I consider myself pretty imaginative, never usually having a hard time "believing in the reality of the movie". However, I could not fathom why Jackie would transform herself into a supermodel. Perhaps she just lacked confidence or self-esteem. Still, it just didn't work for me. As incredible as Metz's performance was, I found myself waiting to see Jackie again and again, frustrated at the notion that this gorgeous woman felt she needed to look younger and thinner. Such is the awful, sad state of our culture, I suppose. Is this film tackling a bigger issue than I originally thought? Hmmm.

Regardless, I must commend both Kanefsky and Hall (both of whom have a history in the Skinemax arena) for the all-around success that is JACQUELINE HYDE. It is the first production under their Pixie Flicks label, and was picked up for distibution by Warner Home Video despite the fact that nudity is kept to a minimum (those looking for loads of flesh, like one FANGORIA reviewer apparently was, should look elsewhere). The acting, cinematography and editing are all first-rate, and the location for Jackie's house is endlessly fun and interesting to look at (it belongs to a pair of real-life magicians and is chock full of cool shit). This is far better than average for a b-movie in terms of all-around quality, and a true testimony that you don't need a bunch of pointless nudity in your movie in order for it to be a success.

Still, I couldn't help but wonder, what if they did a Hollywood version of this story, in which Jackie (played by, say, Queen Latifah) takes a potion to become Halle Berry? People would scratch their heads like I was scratching mine.

(November 2005)