Episode 111 - Tom's Rhinoplasty 
 

[Mr. Garrison's Classroom]
Wendy:
Stan, you know it's almost Valentine's Day?
Stan:
I know.
Wendy:
Maybe we should go on a cruise or something.
Stan:
I can't afford a cruise, dude!
Wendy:
I know, but we can make a little boat out of cardboard and pretend it's a cruise.

Cartman bursts out laughing.
Stan:
Shut up Cartman!
Cartman:
That is so lame.

Cartman stops laughing.
Cartman:
Oh man, eh.
Wendy:
And then we can dress up in little costumes, and pretend we're getting married.

Cartman starts laughing again.

Cartman falls out of his desk.
Cartman:
Stop, seriously, you're killing me over here.

Principal Victoria walks in.
Principal Victoria:
Children, I have some difficult news for you. Mr. Garrison won't be teaching for a while. He has to have surgery.

[Cheering]
Principal Victoria:
So you're going to have a substitute teacher.

[Groan]
Principal Victoria:
And I want you to show the substitute the same respect you show for Mr. Garrison.

Kyle raises his hand.
Principal Victoria:
Yes little boy?
Kyle:
We don't have respect for Mr. Garrison.

[Silence]
Principal Victoria:
Oh, any-who, I want you all to meet your new substitute, Ms. Ellen.
Ms. Ellen:
Hello children.
Kyle,Stan:
Whoa!
Cartman:
Wow, she's pretty.
Kenny:
Yeh, I'd like to get a piece of her.
Stan:
You can say that again.
Kenny:
Yeh, I'd like to get a piece of her.
Principal Victoria:
Good luck Ms. Ellen. If they get out of control, just use this tear-gas, ok?
Ms. Ellen:
Thank you, I'm sure I'll be fine. 

Stan, Cartman and Kyle are brandishing huge grins.
Ms. Ellen:
Now, children, I know that you must be very upset about your teacher having surgery. But I promise I'll try to make things as easy as possible for all of us.

Stan and Kyle have little hearts floating above their heads.
Wendy:
[Gasp]Stan, Stan!
Ms. Ellen:
Now, let me try and learn your names by your seating assignments. You are, Eric Cartman?
Cartman:
Yes ma'am.
Stan:
Ok, and, you must be Stan Marsh.

Stan pukes.

[Silence]
Ms. Ellen:
Do you need to go to the nurses office Stanley.
Cartman:
Nahh, he always pukes when he's in love.
Stan:
I'll kick your ass Cartman!
Ms. Ellen:
So, you're alright?

Stan pukes.

Wendy looks concerned.
Kyle:
Dude, you had waffles for breakfast, huh?



[Tom's Rhinoplasty]
Mr. Garrison:
Oh, I have to admit, I'm still embarassed about getting a nose-job Tom. I didn't want people at school to know, so I told them I had herpes.
Tom:
You shouldn't be embarassed Mr. Garrison, people have cosmetic surgery all the time. Before we start, this computer can help you pick what kind of nose you want.

Tom boots up his PC[You can even hear the hard drive spin up].
Mr. Garrison:
Wow, isn't that amazing Mr. Hat.
Mr. Hat:
It sure is Mr. Garrison.
Tom:
Now, we could go with something a little smaller, which would make you look like this.

Tom brings up a new display on the PC.
Mr. Garrison:
Hmmm.
Tom:
Or we could straighten out the bridge, which would make you look like this.

Tom brings up another display on the PC.
Mr. Garrison:
Oh, that's not bad.
Tom:
Of course we could narrow the bridge, which would make you look more like this.

Tom brings up a display that looks vaguely similar to David Hasselhoff.
Mr. Garrison:
Wow, that's it! That's the nose I want!
Tom:
Alrighty then.

Tom powers off the PC.
Tom:
Now, I must warn you Mr. Garrison, that there are risks. 

[Dramatic music]
Tom:
You could wind up a hideous, foul shadow of a creature. 

Zoom in to Tom's face.
Tom:
So terrifyingly ugly that you are forced to live in the sewers, only emerging at night to hunt for scraps of food.
Mr. Garrison:
I can live with that.
Tom:
Alrighty then, let's get started.



[Playground]
Cartman:
She wasn't looking at you buttlord, she was looking at me.
Kyle:
Well, that goes without saying fatass, how could she help but look at you.
Stan:
You guys can stop fighting, it was me she was checking out.
Cartman:
Until you puked on her.
Chef:
Hello there children, what's all this I'm hearing about a new teacher?
Kyle:
Ms. Ellen dude, she's beautiful!

Wendy and Bebe are are swings.

Wendy looks dejected.
Chef:
Is she like, uh, Vanessa Williams beautiful, or Toni Braxton beautiful?

The kids appear unsure.
Chef:
Or Pamela Anderson beautiful?

The kids shrug.
Chef:
Or is she Erin Gray in the second season of Buck Rogers beautiful?
Stan:
Yeh, that one.
Chef:
Wooh, I got to meet this woman.
Wendy:
Stan, didn't you notice how her left arm is longer than the right one?
Stan:
No.
Wendy:
Well, it is!
Chef:
That's ok, you know what they say about women with one arm longer than the other.
Kenny:
Yeh, they can ....
Chef:
That's right.
Wendy:
Well, did you notice that mole on the back of her neck with the hair growing out of it?
Chef:
That's ok. You know what they say about women with the mole on the back of their necks with hair growing out of it?

[Silence]

Kenny shrugs.
Wendy:
Stan, we're still Valentines, right?
Stan:
Sure Wendy, whatever.
Kyle:
Hey, we should buy Ms. Ellen Valentine's Day presents.
Stan:
Yeh, we'll go to the mall tonight.
Cartman:
I'm gonna buy her a vacuum cleaner, chicks like vacuum cleaners.

Love-lost music begins playing.

Wendy lets loose a tear.

A series of short clips of Stan and Wendy from previous episodes are shown while the song is played.

Most shots involve a little vomit on Stan's part.
Vocalist:
[Singing]I remember when we fell in love, the moments that we shared were timeless.

Saw it in the air, knew it in a glance, the songs we sang were simple reminders.

I can't stop now. My heart's awake, I feel your arms, my arms to take.

Must things change, Even when love is the same.



[Ms. Ellen's Classroom]

Ms. Ellen is writing on the chalkboard.

The kids are checking out her ass.
Ms. Ellen:
Oh, goodness, would anybody mind cleaning my erasers after class?
Cartman:
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me!
Bebe:
You guys are so immature, act like eight-year olds!
Ms. Ellen:
Stan, how 'bout you?

Stan pukes.
Stan:
I'd love to.

Wendy looks angry.
Ms. Ellen:
Now children, let's review our multiplication tables.

Cartman raises his hand.
Ms. Ellen:
Cartman?
Cartman:
What's a multiplication table?
Ms. Ellen:
Didn't Mr. Garrison teach multiplication?

[Silence]
Ms. Ellen:
Well, where did he leave off?
Cartman:
We were learning about how Yasmin Bleeth is going out with that Richard Greco guy that used to be on 21-Jumpstreet, but then he got his own show for just a little while.

Ms. Ellen is somewhat taken aback.

The classroom door opens.

Chef is in the doorway.
Chef:
Oh, hello.
Ms. Ellen:
Can I help you?
Chef:
[Sultry]I'm Chef.
Ms. Ellen:
And...?
Chef:
I just, uh, I stopped buy 'cause little Kyle forgot his laundy detergent on the playground.
Kyle:
My laundry detergent?
Stan:
That's not Kyle's....
Chef:
Shhh. Crazy crackers always leaving their detergent all over the place.

Chef puts the detergent on Kyle's desk.
Chef:
What was your name again?
Cartman:
Uh oh, Chef's movin' in on Ms. Ellen.
Ms. Ellen:
I'm the substitute.
Chef:
Well, I'm sure there's no substitute for you.
Ms. Ellen:
That's very nice Mr. Chef, now, if you're finished....

Music starts playing.
Chef:
[Singing]Nobody could take your place. No way they could match your face. No. You got it goin' on in a way so clear. I just want to buy you a beer. Maybe tonight at 7: 30 or something I could, uh, come by and,uh, pick you up in my car. {No substitute
Stan:
We've got to learn how to do this dude.
Kyle:
Yep.
Ms. Ellen:
That was enthralling Mr. Chef, but, could I get back to teaching now?
Chef:
If we can have dinner tonight.
Ms. Ellen:
Fine Chef, just let me do my job before I get fired.
Cartman:
Oh, weak! Chef's gonna make sweet love to Ms. Ellen!
Ms. Ellen:
What?!?



[Tom's Rhinoplasty]
Tom:
Mr. Garrison! Mr. Garrison!
Mr. Garrison:
Where? Where am I?
Tom:
The operation is over Mr. Garrison.
Mr. Garrison:
I, I feel weak. How do I look?
Tom:
You look great!

Mr. Garrison's Head is covered in bandages smattered with blood.
Mr. Garrison:
I, I feel kind of nausious.
Tom:
Yes, well that's to be expected. We did some major reconstruction. Sawed through some bone, snapped some cartilage.
Mr. Garrison:
Uhhhh.
Tom:
All the blood and mucous, just the sound of bone and sinew coming apart.

Tom makes a breaking sound.
Mr. Garrison:
Ahhh.
Tom:
By the way, did you ever see that movie, Contact?

Mr. Garrison vomits violently.
Mr. Garrison:
Oh stop, that movie was terrible!
Tom:
Oh, well, I'm sorry Mr. Garrison. Why don't you get some rest? I'll check on you a little later.

Tom leaves.
Mr. Garrison:
Waited through that entire movie to see the alien, and it was her god damned father.



[Ms. Ellen's Classroom]
Ms. Ellen:
Ok kids, remember your homework. We have a lot of catching up to do.
Cartman:
Goodbye Ms. Ellen.
Kyle:
Stop kissing ass Cartman.
Cartman:
I'm not kissing ass you stupid fleck!
Wendy:
Ms. Ellen, can I talk to you?
Ms. Ellen:
Of course Wendy.
Wendy:
I couldn't help but notice you taking a liking to my boyfriend Stan.
Ms. Ellen:
Oh, well, I've taking a liking to all of you. You're all so young and cute and full of life.
Wendy:
Can I tell you something Ms. Ellen?
Ms. Ellen:
Of course Wendy.
Wendy:
Don't fuck with me!
Ms. Ellen:
What?
Wendy:
You heard me! Stay away from my man, bitch or I'll whip your sorry whole ass back to last year!

Wendy leaves.
Wendy:
Bye Ms. Ellen.



[Commecial]



[Ms. Ellen's Classroom]
Ms. Ellen:
Well, I certainly want to thank all you lovely children for the presents you bought me.

Ms. Ellen opens one of the gifts.
Ms. Ellen:
Oh, what a delightful scarf. Thank you Kyle.

Kyle grins gleefully.
Stan:
[Cough]Loser gift. [Cough]Loser gift.
Ms. Ellen:
And here's one from Kenny.

She opens the gift.
Ms. Ellen:
Oh, thank you very much Kenny, this is a very scrumptious looking sausage.

Kenny laughs.
Ms. Ellen:
Oh, and what a nice alarm clock, thank you Stan.

Stan pukes.
Ms. Ellen:
And here's another present, from Wendy.

Ms. Ellen opens the gift.
Ms. Ellen:
Oh, why, it's a dead animal. Thank you Wendy.

Wendy glares back evilly.
Stan:
See, she liked my present the best.
Kyle:
Where's your present Cartman?

Cartman has some chocolate smeared on his face.
Cartman:
Oh, well, I got Ms. Ellen a chocolate pie, but, I uh, left it at home.
Ms. Ellen:
Ok kids, we're going to take a spelling test now.

[Gasp]
Ms. Ellen:
But as an extra incentive, I'm going to take whoever gets the highest score on the quiz out to dinner.
Cartman:
Ah man, I wish I knew how to spell.
Ms. Ellen:
Are there any questions before we begin?

Wendy raises her hand.
Ms. Ellen:
Yes Wendy?

Cartman is chowing down on some pie.
Wendy:
When someone gets as old as you, do they have to wear Depends Undergarments?

Ms. Ellen stares back blankly.

[Silence]



[Cafeteria]
Kyle:
Dude, I aced that test. I'm gonna win that dinner with Ms. Ellen.
Stan:
No you're not, I don't think I missed any.
Wendy:
Hi Stan.
Stan:
I bet I scored a hundred.
Wendy:
HI STAN!!!!
Stan:
Oh, hi Wendy.
Wendy:
I was just in the bathroom, and Ms. Ellen was in there taking the biggest dump I've ever seen.
Kyle:
No she wasn't.
Wendy:
YES SHE WAS!
Stan:
That's impossible.
Wendy:
Well, she did. And she has horrible, horrible gas, too! She says she can't control it!
Cartman:
Nuh uh.
Wendy:
It smelled like a dead calf rotting in the hot sun.
Kyle:
Oh, cool.
Cartman:
Alright, Wendy, seriously, you need to stop with this whole jealousy thing.
Kyle:
Yeh, you're acting like a freak Wendy.
Wendy:
NO I'M NOT ACTING LIKE A FREAK[echoes]!!!!

[Silence]
Cartman:
Damn man, somebody's got to pull that monkey out of Wendy's ass.
Chef:
Hello there children.
Cartman:
Oh, hey Chef.
Kyle:
How did your date with Ms. Ellen go?
Chef:
Not too good.
Stan:
What happened? Didn't you make sweet love to her?
Chef:
No, no, no, she's not like that. You see. Uh, how do I put this? Children, Ms. Ellen doesn't exactly play for the right team.

[Silence]
Chef:
In, in, in other words, children, she's not a member of the heterosexual persuasion.

[Silence]
Chef:
Don't you understand? She's a lesbian.
Stan:
A what-bian?
Kyle:
A plebian?
Chef:
You boys don't know what a lesbian is?
Stan:
Kenny?

Kenny shrugs.
Stan:
No, explain it to us Chef.
Chef:
That, that's ok. Uh, ba, look, all you need to know is: Ms. Ellen's a lesbian, and that means she only likes other lesbians.
Stan:
Oh.
Chef:
Now move along children, you're holding up the line.
Kyle:
Weak dude, she only likes other lesbians.
Stan:
Hey man, if she only likes other lesbians, then all we gotta do is become lesbians too.
Kyle:
Hey, yeh.
Cartman:
You guys, you know what? My grandma was Dutch-Irish, and my grandpa was lesbian, that makes me quarter-lesbian.
Stan:
You're just saying that Cartman.
Kyle:
Yeh, you're not a lesbian fatass.
Cartman:
I am too.



[Tom's Rhinoplasty]
Tom:
Ok, only a few more bandages to go.
Mr. Garrison:
Well?
Tom:
Take a look for yourself.

Mr. Garrison checks himself in the mirror.

He looks a lot like David Hasselhoff.
Mr. Garrison:
Wow, that's a pretty good nose job! What do you think Mr. Hat?
Mr. Hat:
I think it looks great.
Tom:
Yes, I think once the swelling goes down, you'll really notice a difference.



[Cartman's House]

Cartman is on the floor, licking the rug.
Stan:
What the hell are you doing Cartman?
Cartman:
My mom said if you want to become a lesbian, you have to lick carpet.
Stan:
Really?
Stan:
Well, I got a Indiglo Girls CD, the guy at the record store said it was perfect.

Kyle puts the CD on.
Kyle:
And I got these killer Birkenstocks.

Stan is putting on the Birks.

They all start licking the carpet.
Cartman:
This is a bunch of crap! I've been licking this carpet for three hours, and I still don't feel like a lesbian.



[Street in South Park]

Shadow Dancing is playing.

Mr. Garrison is grooving down the street.
Mr. Garrison:
Hi Mrs. Kimball.
Mrs. Kimball:
Ohh, howdy Mr. Garrison. Say honey, you look kind of different.
Mr. Garrison:
Really?
Mrs. Kimball:
Did you get a haircut?
Mr. Garrison:
No, but thanks for asking.

Mr. Garrison starts walking away.
Mrs. Kimball:
[After Mr. Garrison]Call me, I'm in the book!
Mr. Garrison:
Wow Mr. Hat, having a nose job is even better than I thought. There's a whole world of opportunity opening up in front of us.



[Wendy's House]
Wendy:
Thanks for coming over Bebe.
Bebe:
That's ok Wendy. I brought my makeup kit like you asked me. What are we doing anyway?
Wendy:
That mean old substitute isn't going to stop until she takes everything from me Bebe.
Bebe:
Really?
Wendy:
Yeh, what I'd really like to do is load her into a rocket and have her shot into the center of the sun. But instead, I'll just get Stan to notice me again. Bebe, I need a makeover!
Bebe:
Oh, cool!



[Ms. Ellen's Classroom]
Stan:
I can't wait for Ms. Ellen to see what a raging lesbian I am.
Cartman:
I'm a bigger lesbian than you.
Stan:
No, you're a fatter lesbian than me.
Kyle:
Screw you guys, I'm king lesbian.
Clyde:
Whoa, is that Wendy Testeburger?

Sleazy music starts playing.

Wendy has a lot of makeup on.

Wendy walks into the classroom, cigarette in mouth.
Wendy:
Hi guys, what's up?
Cartman:
Wow, Wendy looks just like that chick from Grease, Elton John.
Stan:
Wow, hi Wendy.
Wendy:
Oh, hi Stan. [To Bebe]I think it worked Bebe.
Bebe:
Yeh.

Sleazier music starts playing.
Ms. Ellen:
Good morning children.
Kyle, Stan:
Wow!
Cartman:
Dang, duh, dang!
Kyle:
Yeh.
Ms. Ellen:
Oh Wendy, you wore black leather too. We're like sisters.
Wendy:
Die!!!
Ms. Ellen:
Alright kids, I finished grading your papers and the person with the highest score is....

Mr. Garrison walks into the classroom.
Mr. Garrison:
Hello there children.

Shadow Dancing starts playing.
Stan:
Oh no, Mr. Garrison's back.
Cartman:
Ah, weak dude.

Carnival music starts playing.
Wendy:
[Singing]Hooray, hooray, hooray for Mr. Garrison! He's back, he's back, Mr. Garrison is back!

Wendy begins waving.
Wendy:
So long substitute, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out now.
Mr. Garrison:
Children, I have a very important announcement to make. 

Carnival music comes to a halt.
Mr. Garrison:
I'm quitting my job as a teacher.

[Gasp]
Wendy:
What?
Mr. Garrison:
It's strange, but suddenly I feel really confident about myself. And I've decided to quit teaching and do what I've always dreamed of doing, hang out and screw hot chicks.
Wendy:
You-you can't.
Mr. Garrison:
But the good news is, I've already talked to Principal Victoria about it, and Ms. Ellen can stay on as your permanent teacher.

[Cheering]
Ms. Ellen:
Really?
Principal Victoria:
That's right. Will you stay?
Ms. Ellen:
Well...sure.
Wendy:
Noooooooo!!!!! Nooooooo!!!!!
Ms. Ellen:
Oh, by the way kids, the person who scored highest on the quiz and gets to have dinner on me, is, Stan.

Stan pukes.
Stan:
Kick ass!
Wendy:
Noooooooo!!!!! Nooooooo!!!!!
Principal Victoria:
Oh, and Wendy, I almost forgot, we just got a call in the office. Your grandma just died.
Wendy:
AHHHHHHHHH!
Principal Victoria:
Ooh, my, what an exciting day.



[Commercial]



[Photo Dojo]

Shadow Dancing is playing.

Mr. Garrison is modelling.
Photographer:
Great baby, you're looking great.
Mr. Garrison:
I'm a lady killer, Mr. Hat!
Mr. Hat:
You can say that again Mr. Garrison!
Photographer:
Ok, just a few hundred more shots and we'll be done.
Mr. Garrison:
A few hundred?
Photographer:
Hey, that's the life of a model, baby.
Mr. Garrison:
Oh boy, I'm gonna need some more smack.
Photographer:
You got it!



[King Jimmy's Buffet]
Ms. Ellen:
I'm very glad we could have dinner together Stanley. I want you to know that I really care about your education.
Stan:
Are we making love now?
Ms. Ellen:
Excuse me?
Stan:
They don't have a fireplace here, we shouldn't be making love yet.
Ms. Ellen:
What are you talking about?
Stan:
You have to make love down by the fire, that's what Chef always says.
Ms. Ellen:
Stan, I'm your teacher ok, we're only friends.
Stan:
But why?
Ms. Ellen:
Well, first of all, you're eight.
Stan:
It's because I'm not a lesbian, isn't it?
Ms. Ellen:
Oh boy.



[Outside King Jimmy's]
Wendy:
It's over. I give up.



[Street in South Park]

Mr. Garrison is leaning upon a mailbox.
Mr. Garrison:
Boy, I'll tell you something Mr. Hat, being hot and sexy is fun for a while, but it sure does get boring.
Mr. Hat:
You can say that again Mr. Garrison.

A crowd of screaming nubiles come charging towards Mr. Garrison.
Mr. Garrison:
What the?

The women begin tearing at Mr. Garrison.
Mr. Garrison:
Whoa, hey, wait, wait, ahhh! Mr. Hat, save yourself!



[Ms. Ellen's Classroom]
Kyle:
So how'd your date with Ms. Ellen go? 
Cartman:
Did you make love?
Stan:
I think so.
Cartman:
No way!
Stan:
Yup.
Kyle:
Down by the fire?
Stan:
Yup.
Kenny:
And did you stick it in where....
Stan:
Did I what?!?
Ms. Ellen:
Good morning children.
Wendy:
Ms. Ellen, can I talk to you?
Ms. Ellen:
Sure, but can it wait til after class Wendy?
Wendy:
No. I just have to apologize for the way I've been acting.
Ms. Ellen:
Oh, that's ok Wendy.
Wendy:
No, it's not. Since you're here to stay, I just hope we can be friends.
Ms. Ellen:
Well, I would love that Wendy.
Wendy:
And, mmm, I want to apologize to everybody. The way I acted was wrong. 

Wendy begins to break up.
Wendy:
And I've learned from it. I just wish Stan, and Ms. Ellen would have all the happiness in the world.
Ms. Ellen:
Wendy, there's nothing between me and Stan!
Cartman:
That's not what we just heard.



[Street in South Park]

Screaming women continue to chase after Mr. Garrison.
Mr. Garrison:
Oh, Mr. Hat, I hate this. I wish I'd never had a nose job.

The women round the corner after Mr. Garrison.
Mr. Garrison:
Damn this beautiful face of mine, damn it to hell. We have to get the surgery again Mr. Hat.

Mr. Garrison slips into Tom's Rhinoplasty.
Mr. Garrison:
I want to be the old me again.

Screaming women run by.



[Ms. Ellen's Classroom]
Ms. Ellen:
Ok children, let's catch up on our cursive handwriting.

A group of Iraqi soldiers burst into the classroom.
Hakim:
Down, down, everybody down!
Cartman:
What the hell!

All the kids dive under their desks.
Hakim:
So, we meet again Ms. Ellen.
Principal Victoria:
And just what is going on here mister.
Hakim:
I am Hakim Korashki, of the mighty nation of Iraq. This woman is a traitor to our government.
Ms. Ellen:
It's a lie.
Hakim:
She has killed thousands, and will kill again I assure you.
Principal Victoria:
Ms. Ellen, is this true?
Ms. Ellen:
No!
Hakim:
We must take her back to Iraq immediately!
Wendy:
Oh, cool!
Ms. Ellen:
Principal Victoria, please.
Hakim:
Here is a black and white photo of Ms. Ellen with our leader, her real name is Makesh Alak Makarakesh.
Principal Victoria:
Well Ms. Makarakesh, you certainly tried to put one over on us, boy howdy. Take her away!
Hakim:
Nooooo! Get away from me! Ahhh!!

Ms. Ellen takes a scimitar from one of the soldiers.

She swings it about.

The scimitar flies from her hand straight towards Kenny.

The scimitar skewers Kenny in the head, continueing on with Kenny into the back wall.
Stan:
Oh my god, she killed Kenny.
Kyle:
You bastard.

The soldiers take Ms. Ellen away.
Principal Victoria:
Noooo!!!
Wendy:
Wow, what incredible irony.



[South Park Elementary]
Stan:
Wow, I can't believe Ms. Ellen was a criminal Iraqi fugitive.
Wendy:
Yeh, you just never know.
Stan:
Well, I guess I'm sorry that I was ignoring you and stuff.
Wendy:
Happy Valentine's Day, Stan.

The two move to kiss.

Stan pukes.
Stan:
Sorry.
Wendy:
No, it's ok Stan, everything's going to be ok!
Kyle:
Cartman, are you still trying to become a lesbian?
Cartman:
Yeh dude, my mom says all I have to do is chow on this box.



[Commercial]



[Iraqi Desert]
Hakim:
For crimes against this country, you're hereby sentenced to be shot into the center of the sun.
Ms. Ellen:
Uhh, this is all a mistake. This can't be happening!

Some soldiers throw Ms. Ellen into a rocket.
Ms. Ellen:
Please!!! For the love of God!!!
Hakim:
Shut up!!!

The rocket is fired towards the sun.



[Wendy's Backyard]

Wendy and Bebe are kicking back, wearing shades.
Mrs. Kimball:
Woohoo!! Great party Wendy.
Wendy:
Thanks Mrs. Kimball. Thanks for helping me get Mr. Garrison to come back as a teacher.
Mrs. Kimball:
Anything for you, sugar-pie.
Wendy:
Oh, hi Kyle.
Kyle:
I've been thinking Wendy, this whole outcome is pretty strange.

Some suits walk up to Wendy.
Wendy:
Uh huh, excuse me.
Wendy:
Kah farakh kah lakhenblakh.
Iraqi:
Kah farekh keh lakhenblakh.
Wendy:
Lassen blakh ehlakhi yayalakhenblakh.
Iraqi:
Kahleshi lah lakhenblakhersh.
Wendy:
Lakhenblakh.
Iraqi:
Ahh, lakheblakhelah.
Kyle:
How was it that Ms. Ellen was suddenly arrested for being an Iraqi....
Wendy:
Wait, wait, shh. It's time to whip out the eclipse shoebox thing. 

Wendy looks through the box and watches as the rocket hits the center of the sun.
Wendy:
Bye-bye Ms. Ellen.
Kyle:
Wendy, you didn't?
Wendy:
I told her.

[Psycho music]
Wendy:
Don't-fuck-with-Wendy-Testeburger.

[fin]
Transcribed by Shannon 'BlackBart' Greene