| When
they talk about plagues that are devastating and controlling the world's
population, you often only hear of things like starvation, thirst, and
disease. Strangely there's one that is consistently left off these lists,
yet is every bit as widespread as the others: the Pigeonhole Principle.
This is a disease that affects virtually every person I know- so don't
feel bad- and it's very hard to break free from its spell. It gradually
grabs hold of your brain and limits your ability to see and think clearly.
You know you're affected if you constantly try to define things by one
characteristic. This car looks like this, this group sounds like this,
this person acts like this. You notice it in the movie industry- there
are horror movies, romance movies, action movies, dramas, comedies, etc.
You notice it in the music stores- there are rap groups, rock and roll
groups, country, R&B, gospel, pop, etc. You notice it in the book stores-
you have mysteries, comedy books, romance novels, horror stories, etc.
This is a nation that is in love with categorizing and defining things
as narrowly as possible. It makes things that much easier to deal with
if you know what to expect from them. Everything has its own neat little
spot to be placed in so that it will be right there when you need it,
exactly where you knew it would be. This type of thinking seeks to avoid
confusion and overlap and it tries to strip away as much diversity as
possible. A thing can only be like this or this- it would go against its
definition and therefore all correctness if it were like this or this.
It's the same type of thinking that gave us stereotypes- they only describe
one aspect of a person or group of people. This one-dimensionality to
thought is usually very specific and narrow, callously ignoring the breadth
and depth that people and things have that are often so interesting and
memorable. Focusing on one aspect of a being allows us to become more
comfortable with them since we can predict what is likely to happen. It's
much easier to deal with people when you're pretty sure how they're going
to act, to listen to music that sounds like you want it to, to watch a
movie that impacts you as you wish. We as humans are always more comfortable
when we know what to expect. It gives us a feeling of security and quasi-omniscience.
The thing that gums up the works and makes us uneasy is change. When things
start to change, we start to get uncomfortable, lose our sense of control
and security, and the seductive bliss of the Pigeonhole Principle falls
by the wayside. When people start acting differently from what we expect,
i.e. the usual, we often become wary and unhappy with the way things are
going. The sad thing is that the illusion of stability that the Pigeonhole
Principle gives us is constantly shattering and then precariously rebuilding.
Why? Because whether we like it or not, change is as plentiful as the
Pigeonhole Principle itself. As much as we try to limit things to one
easy-to-handle characteristic, they change just as readily. The pigeonholes
that we surround people and things with are constantly being broken and
needing to slowly be rebuilt once again. |
Once
we notice this change has occurred, we're then ready to begin Pigeonholing
again. Until we figure out that things aren't quite the same, though,
we usually spend our time dancing on the fringes of unhappiness. We are
confused and a little scared because we don't know what to expect anymore.
We've lost whatever semblance of control that we clasped onto. We're never
quite sure what life is going to throw us next, and this loss of surety
is maddening. So what do we do? We lash out. We curse the bands for changing
their sound. We lambaste our favorite author for expanding their style
and crossing genres. And we turn a cold shoulder to people in our lives
who start to act differently. It doesn't matter whether or not this change
is for the better- change of any kind is unsettling and inherently met
with resistance. Acceptance of change is slow in coming, but eventually
most of us accept the new dimension to whatever aspect of our life is
being looked at and even end up encouraging it. The problem is that it
takes time. Sometimes a whole lot longer than we'd like, but the key to
defeating the influence of the Pigeonhole Principle is to be patient.
As the Rolling Stones are known to say, "you can't always get what you
want," and you damn sure can't get it right when you want it. Keep the
faith. As that old adage goes, "good things come to those who wait." So
what should we do to expedite the process? Well, by reading this, you're
already a step ahead of the game. Identification is the first step towards
change. So realize that people change- it may be sad, but it's true. Realize
that people's priorities are going to change. Realize that people will
grow apart. And because of this, realize that you won't be able to spend
as much time with certain people as you used to, but that just means you
should relish the time you do get together. Things cannot remain the way
we want them to forever. If they did, believe it or not we'd become bored
and complacent with life's predictability. Nobody likes to know how everything
is going to turn out. The fun in life is found in its surprises. These
surprises keep you on your toes and dying from anticipation. So learn
to love them, because they're all around you. Learn to love people's little
nuances and appreciate their range. The fun is in finding new dimensions
and layers to the things around you. It allows you to look at things in
a whole new light. So let things break out of their pigeonholes and appreciate
the beauty of their multi-faceted existence. Stop limiting your vision
and start looking at the whole picture of the world around you. See things
for how they really are, not how you want them to be. Once you take off
your blinders, the world will become a new and glorious place for you
to explore, and you''ll find life will be that much more exciting. |