dir: John Milius
(with some observations on GLADIATOR)
It is time for some comparison shopping: CONAN THE BARBARIAN and GLADIATOR. The year of 2000 will go down (for some of us) as the year of the sword and sandal film. GLADIATOR, a giant Hollywood film, makes 200 some million. On the video front, CONAN THE BARBARIAN is released in a special collector’s edition on DVD.
1) CONAN is sneered at by most critics. GLADIATOR is the highest grossing film so far in 2000.
2) CONAN gets good performances out of non-actors. GLADIATOR achieves lousy performances from great actors (Phoenix excepted).
3) CONAN takes place over years. GLADIATOR’s Maximus rides across countries in a manner of days (a fast horse?).
4) In CONAN James Earl Jones turns into a snake. In GLADIATOR Joaquin Phoenix impersonates an actor.
5) CONAN’s villain is a James Jones style cultist. GLADIATOR’s black hat makes slaves play football with swords.
6) CONAN’s filmmakers rely entirely on miniatures, set drops, mechanics, and stop motion effects, having no computer effects at the time. In GLADIATOR the entire coliseum looks like a video game.
7) During the final battle, Conan fights an army of only twelve. In the opening of GLADIATOR, the Maximus’ army takes on another army. However, one can at least make out what is happening on CONAN’s desert afternoon battlefield. The dark, rainy, claustrophobic set of GLADIATOR produces only eye strain.
8) To engage in some Freudian criticism: Conan’s sword is bigger.
9) CONAN THE BARBARIAN is the best film by the director of RED DAWN. GLADIATOR is the worst film by the director of ALIEN.
GLADIATOR, one of the worst films of the year, is playing to good reviews and large attendance most everywhere in the world. It seems amazing considering how long, dark, dull, and unexciting the film really is. Characters constantly mumble their lines in darkness, making the film a failure on both an visual and aural experience. At two and a half hours one would expect at least one good action scene out of a film called GLADIATOR. Nope, the action either is swallowed by shadows (the opening battle), ridden with bad, attention calling computer effects (the coliseum), or poorly choreographed (the final duel). CONAN THE BARBARIAN is another matter.
Sword and sandal films are a dime a dozen. What makes CONAN stand out are the lack of camp, the attention to detail, and the action scenes. The filmmakers obviously love CONAN, love Robert E. Howard’s stories. They approach the material with dead seriousness. The film assumes that gods and giants did walk the earth. The audience never questions this because the film never makes a big deal about the supernatural. It’s there. In contrast, the filmmakers make all of the weapons and traps that are used in the film believable. All weapons and costumes have a practicality in addition to looking neat beat driven into a bad guy’s chest.
For those who don’t know, CONAN THE BARBARIAN tells the character’s origin. The film goes from the slaughter of Conan’s family by Thulsa Doom to slavery as a pit fighter to becoming a thief to seeking revenge on Thulsa Doom. Two major actors do lend their expertise to the film. Thulsa Doom is played excellently by James Earl Jones, and Max Von Sydow plays the king who sends Conan and his friends Valeria (Sandahl Bergman) and Subotai (Gerry Lopez) to rescue his daughter from Thulsa Doom. The three leads, however, are athletes: Schwarzenegger a body builder; Gary Lopez a surfer; and Sandahl Bergman a dancer. This is a risky move by the filmmakers. To put three non-actors (at the time) as the three leads could backfire. Fortunately, Milius knows his characters well. He doesn’t need Olivier for these roles. The physical build of the actors represent who the characters are. Schwarzenegger in particular works. Milius uses Schwarzenegger the way Sergio Leone used Clint Eastwood in his Italian westerns. As a result, Schwarzenegger gives his most natural performance.
No one goes to CONAN THE BARBARIAN for the actor’s performances. One goes to see CONAN because of the epic quality, the textures (cinematography, art direction, Basil Poledouris’ amazing score) and of course the action –-- none of which GLADIATOR had. There is a scene that occurs forty minutes before the film ends. Conan is on a beach training. He has been brought back from the dead and now needs to prepare for his mission. Conan swings his sword from one arm to the other. The flesh and the steel are in perfect harmony. From this point to the ending, CONAN THE BARBARIAN is a masterpiece. Yes, there is some silliness up to this point, but from here on out, CONAN never makes a mistake. Three great sequences follow: the orgy/stealing of the princess, which may be the film’s most fascinating; the climax at the stone temple; and the final showdown between Conan and cult leader Thulsa Doom. These three sequence stand as some of the best in fantastical cinema.
CONAN THE BARBARIAN leaves the viewer on the end of an adrenaline rush. As an action film, it is one of the best American attempts of the 1980s. As a fantasy it works because, even if the effects are sometimes silly (the giant snake), the film embraces the fantastical in a matter-of-fact way that the viewer believes it all. Lastly, the film works on the level of a pulp novel. It is a hard-boiled story of revenge. Thanks to John Milius the viewer buys it. As for GLADIATOR, the only point that it rides above CONAN is that Oliver Reed is a better trainer (and actor) than Luis Barboo who plays Conan’s owner. Otherwise, CONAN wins all contests hands (severed and otherwise) down..
CONAN THE BARBARIAN has just been released on DVD in a collector’s edition with a director’s cut with some new scenes added. The scenes add to the film. The DVD also has an entertaining commentary with Schwarzenegger and Milius and an interesting documentary. More importantly, the transfer and letter boxing are perfect. This is the only (outside of the movie theater) to watch the film.