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(the curtain opens upon the scene when Messala visits Juda at Juda's house...)
Messala: Juda, tell me. Did you, did you think about what I said yesterday?
Juda: Yes, I've talked to a number of users already. I've spoken against trying to post Win95 source code on the web, flaming Internet Explorer. Most of the people I talked to agree with me.
Messala: Most? Not all?
Juda: No, not all.
Messala: And who does not agree?
Juda: Oh, Mac Users, Unix advocates…
Messala: Who are they? Yes, Juda, who are they?
Juda: Would I retain your friendship if I became an informer?
Messala: To tell me the names of hackers is hardly informing…
Juda: Hackers? They're not hackers, Messala; they're programmers.
Messala: Programmers?
Juda: Yes, like you…
Messala: PROGRAMMERS? Juda, Juda let me explain something to you; something you may not know. The CEO is watching us, at this moment he watches the Internet. This is my great opportunity, Juda, and yours too. If I can help him capture the browser market, I can have any post I want; and you'll rise with me, I promise. And you know where it can end? Redmond! Yes, perhaps at the side of Bill himself. I mean it, I mean it, it can happen and this is the moment, Juda. I swear this is the time. The CEO is watching us, judging us. All I need do is serve him; and all you need do is help me, and serve him.
Juda: You speak as if he were God.
Messala: His is god, the only god. He is power, real power on earth. (pointing at Juda's UNIX box) Not, not that. Help me, Juda.
Juda: I would do anything for you, Messala, except betray my fellow users.
Messala: In the name of all the gods, Juda. What do the web sites of a few hackers mean to you?
Juda: If I cannot persuade them, that does not mean I would help your lawyers red tape their sites. Besides, you must understand this, Messala; I believe in the past of the computer software industry's competitive market, and in its future.
Messala: Future? Software is a conquered territory.
Juda: You may integrate your browser, you may buy out competing companies; but that is not the end, we will rise again.
Messala: Aaah, you live a dead dream, you live in the myths of the past. The glory of IBM is gone; do you think it will return? Adobe will not rise again to save you, nor Netscape. There is only one reality in the world today. Look to the west, Juda! Don't be a fool look to Redmond!
Juda: I would rather be a fool than a traitor, or a Wintel informer.
Messala: I am a Microsoft Engineer.
Juda: Yes, who programs for Microsoft, and Microsoft is evil!
Messala: I warn you!
Juda: No! I warn you! Microsoft is an affront to competitive pricing! Microsoft is strangling my fellow users and the OS market, the whole computer industry! But not forever. And I tell you the day Microsoft falls there will be a shout of freedom such as the computer world has never heard before!
Messala: Juda, either you help me, or you oppose me. You have no other choice. You're either for me or against me.
Juda: If that is the choice, then I am against you.
(fade to black as Messala stomps out with a really nasty scowl on his face…)
Source: Brian Holdren, original posting to the 'Net at Wubb's Humor Forum
ORIGINAL HUMOR! | ORIGINAL HUMOR! |