New PC Keyboard Design

Microsoft Corporation has just announced a new PC keyboard designed specifically for Windows. (Sources say a Macintosh variant is in the works.) In addition to the keys found on the standard keyboard, Microsoft's new design adds several new keys which will make your Windows computing even more fun! The final specs are not yet set, so please feel free to make suggestions. The keys proposed so far are:

  1. GPF key--This key will instantly generate a General Protection Fault when pressed. Microsoft representatives state that the purpose of the GPF key is to save Windows users time by eliminating the need to run an application in order to produce a General Protection Fault.
  2. $$ key--When this key is pressed, money is transferred automatically from your bank account to Microsoft without the need for further action or third party intervention.
  3. ZD key--This key was developed specifically for reviewers of Microsoft products. When pressed it inserts random superlative adjectives in any text which contains the words Microsoft or Windows within the file being edited.
  4. MS key--This key runs a Microsoft commercial entitled "Computing for Mindless Drones" in a 1" x 1" window.
  5. FUD key--Some thing to do with the Display.......Self explanatory.
  6. Chicago key--Generates do-nothing loops for months at a time.
  7. IBM key --Searches your hard disk for operating systems or applications by vendors other than Microsoft and deletes them.

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