The official Microsoft press announcement stated: 'Since the beginning of time, mankind has dreamed of a world free of thirst. thanks to this new Microsoft innovation, everyone now has access to the solution to this problem.'
Typically, some critics have slammed this new technological breakthrough. One of the more cynical critics stated 'Whats the big deal here ? We have always had access to free water, water was around a long time before Microsoft ever invented it !'.
A Microsoft spokesperson commented on these rebuffs, saying 'It is sad that some people have chosen make such comments. This new product is truly of great benefit to all people, and Microsoft continues to lead the way in developing the products that enrich people's lives.'
Some analysts are concerned over the cloudly brown appearence of MS-Water (tm), saying that it might not be pure water, such as can easily be obtained from rainfalls, rivers and other natural sources. However, provisions in the licencing agreements for MS-Water (tm) strictly prohibit the 'testing, chemical analysis, or comparison with any other liquid, without the written approval of Microsoft', so many of these analysts are afraid to push the point any furthur.
Thankfully, these industry commentators are greatly in the minority. Most analysts wholeheartily agree that MS-Water (tm) is a far superior and much needed product. When asked about the claims of the 'free water' lobby, they typically laugh, and say 'There always has to be some clown who gets the wrong end of the stick. MS-Water (tm) is of great benefit to all people, and Microsoft continues to lead the way in developing the products that enrich people's lives.'
Asked why MS-Water (tm) is better than free water, one industry analyst stated 'This new product is truly of great benefit to all people, and Microsoft continues to lead the way in developing the products that enrich people's lives.'. Yes, we know that, but why should I send off a cheque for $12 and wait 2 weeks to get a bottle of murky brown liquid, when I can turn on the tap and get clear water for free ? 'Inital pre-product launch surveys (of Microsoft staff) show that 85% of all people interviewed drink MS-Water (tm).' Ok then, go with the strength ? but why pay for it ?
Bill Gates (tm), summed up the argument to a large cheering audience at the latest trade show. 'A lot of people would like to believe in a free lunch, believe in free power, free Operating Systems, perpetual motion machines, and even, hell, free Water !' ... audience laughs loudly and claps approval .. 'But the simple fact is that there is no such thing ! Nothing is really free ... just look at what we did with IE 3.0 , IIS and MS-Java (tm)' ... hushed silence from awed audience ... 'The best we can hope for is cheap Water, and this will only happen when economies of scale and the size of the market allow us to mass-produce MS-Water (tm) in bulk. When it comes to anything - lunch, Operating Systems, Compilers, and yes, even Water, it is a simple case of you get what you pay for.'
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