7. Splitting Hairs
By Gavin Trevain

Laissez Faire

It is an offer J cannot refuse.

He hangs up the phone and forays into the frigid February fog.

He follows the gaggle of girlish giggles to greet his girl.  She can't see him
when he spots her as she is facing away from him.  It wouldn't have made any
difference at this particular moment.

"I can see why you need the practice," he says to her as she completes her shot
that ends up in the gutter.

"J!" she squeals, lifting the sleepmask to her forehead and rushing to hug him.

"Hello K!" he responds.  "So this is what you do in your spare time!"

"You know us girls - we just like to strike a pose!"

"I think it's time to approach your striking friends so you can introduce me."

"O.K., since you framed it so nicely, turkey!" continues K, as she turns to the
rest of the girls who are wearing sleepmasks on their foreheads.  "Girls, this
is J.  J, I'd like you to meet B, Leah, Irene, Nadia, Donna, Fay, and Olga."

J shakes hands with all of them.  Turning to L he says, "Very nice to see you
again, Ange."

"And, last but not least, this is D," K concludes the introductions.

"It's nice to be able to attach a face to the voice.  Very pleased to meet you
in person, D."

D shakes his hand sheepishly as he smiles broadly.  "Likewise."

"So how can I help you lovely ladies?"

"We'd like you to be the guide for one of the two teams on Friday night," D
states.

"There are ten of you.  With the alternate being the guide for each team of four
players, wouldn't that make me the odd man out?"

"Yes, you are odd, J," K chides, "but Ange is going to be the designated
videographer."

"And the main event is this Friday?"

"Yes," Donna interjects.  "I'm going to be the alternate and guide for one of
the teams.  K mentioned you were a really good bowler so I thought we could get
some pointers from you today."

"I don't know if I'm really good but I'll certainly try to help," J remarks.
"Are you aware if there are any special rules regarding blind bowling?"

"Well, I know that there is an organization called the American Blind Bowling
Association but I don't think they even have a web site," Leah offers.

"I think they have a web site now but I wasn't able to access it," Nadia chimes
in.

"Were the visually impaired people you're going to be bowling against able to
offer you any pointers?" J inquires.

"As you can see, we are practicing with the fixed steel rail in place," Donna
indicates, "but I'm not sure if the guides are allowed to assist in placing the
bowlers on the approach."

"I was curious about that, too," K interjects, "so I asked if the other teams
would have any objections to the sighted players receiving that kind of
assistance."

"And what was the verdict?" J inquires.

"Since this is a friendly event with the proceeds going to charity," K responds,
"they said they didn't care because they intend to cream us, regardless."

"I just had an idea that would help with the feet placements," J posits, "but
for now I would like to see each of you bowl a frame so I can gauge your
styles."

"With our blindfolds on?" Irene asks.

"Sighted to begin with."

As each of the girls take their turns, J notices that they all use the four-step
approach, except for B who uses five steps.  They all bowl like women, which is
to say they are back-up bowlers, with the exception of L, who bowls like a man.
L is also the only southpaw, which makes her target the one-two pocket like
everyone else's.  As they bowl a second frame, J also notes which girls bowl
hooks and which ones are straight bowlers.  When they finish, J gets a pair of
shoes, bowls two balls and gets a spare.

"If you're going to guide us, shouldn't you try this blindfolded yourself?" K
suggests.

"Actually, that's not a bad idea," J agrees, as he positions himself on the
approach and allows K to remove her sleepmask and place it over his eyes.  J
places the fingertips of his left hand on the steel rail and takes his shot.  He
hears no pins drop - only the jeers of the assemblage as his ball rolls
harmlessly into the gutter.

He fumbles to locate the steel rail and listens to his ball shoot back on the
ball return.  K hands him the ball and he places a thumb and two fingers in the
appropriate holes.  He tries to position himself on the approach by moving his
heels over the edge.  He does this intuitively, not realizing that this is the
technique that blind bowlers use to position themselves.  He tries to visualize
the pins as he walks off to deliver his second shot, making sure he follows
through fully with his arm swing.  The result surprises everyone, including J.
J lifts up his blindfold to see all ten pins have fallen!  This time he garners
cheers and some applause.

"I think it's time to see each of you in action, for real."  J hands B a bowling
ball and pulls the sleepmask over her eyes.  B delivers a nice hook but misses
the pocket knocking down six pins.

B attempts to lift up her sleepmask but J stops her.  "You won't be able to do
that under game conditions, B."  Instead, J positions her on the approach and
describes the bucket she has left.  But despite his efforts, B's second ball
misses the target completely.

The girls each take a turn and encounter varying degrees of success.  "You
haven't had a go, Ange."

"But I'm not going to be bowling Friday," L protests mildly.

"Just for fun, give it a try," J coaxes.

"All right," L agrees, as she steps forward and positions herself on the
approach.  She allows J to blindfold her and then realizes the rail on her left
is of little use because she is left-handed.  Nevertheless, she walks forward
unsteadily and buries the ball in the channel.

She allows J to position her again and attempts her second shot.  The ball stays
on the lane a little longer this time but meets the same fate as the first one.
L curses as she misses the second time.  "Good thing I'm not on the main team, I
guess."

"Oh, I don't know, Ange," J consoles.  "You didn't have anything to hang on to."

"Let's simulate game conditions for two frames," J instructs, "by keeping your
blindfolds on continuously."

The girls take their seats and blindfold themselves.  J drinks in the pretty
picture before he guides each girl, in turn, to the approach.  The results are
not overwhelming.

"I'm sure you'll all do better at the competition," J encourages.  "By the way,
are you going to use sleepmasks on game night?"

"Weren't we going to use bandanas?" Donna asks.

"Wouldn't a mask be more comfortable especially since we have to be blindfolded
for three whole games?" D queries.

"It's very tempting to lift up a sleepmask and it's pretty easy to peek under a
bandana sometimes, so why not try both?" J offers.  "You could even use a
different colored bandana for each team."

"I think I might have a few to spare," K smiles.

***

Fair Dare

"I'm issuing a challenge," Donna proclaims.  "Based on the aggregate score after
the three-game series, the losing team should have to pay a forfeit."

"What did you have in mind?" D inquires.

"That the losing team, including the guide, would have to remain blindfolded for
the course of the post-game meal."

After conferring with her teammates, D responds, "You're on!"

"I don't think I can bowl tonight," Fay asserts.

"How did you twist your ankle?" K queries.

"You don't want to know.  But I'm willing to handle the camera if Ange will take
my place."

"But I haven't even practiced too much," L objects.

"Then we might as well start now."  J pounces into action pulling her onto the
approach.

"Oh!  There's a rail on the other side now," L notices.

"Yeah," J indicates, "that should make things a little easier."

"We'll see," she muses, as J pulls the sleepmask over her eyes.  Holding onto
the rail, she delivers her shot and knocks over six pins.  Assisted by J's
placement and instructions, she succeeds in hitting two pins with her second
ball.

"Didn't I tell you you would do better?"

L has to agree, as she is a little more encouraged with her success.

J continues to guide the girls in practice and marks each of their foot
placements with eight Post-it Flags in four different colors.  Donna notices his
ingenuity and does the same for her team.

As the practice continues, a number of other students drift into the alley.  The
drifters include some males who have a romantic interest in some of the team
members.  J gets to meet Fay's husband, Ray.  K and J are also introduced to
Matt, Juan, Luke, and Brad who are the boyfriends of Donna, D, Irene and B,
respectively.

The four visually impaired teams also arrive and begin their practice session.
The students can't help notice how loud and rowdy they are.  With this level of
infectious enthusiasm and cheerfulness, it promises to be a fun night.

"We start in five minutes," announces one of the guides for the visually
impaired teams.

Donna picks up the sleepmasks with her left hand and drapes the bandanas over
her forearm.  The bandanas have already been folded into bands and creased
neatly with an iron.  She hands J a blue sleepmask that he places over B's eyes
after pulling the straps under her long hair.  Moving behind her, he ties a dark
blue bandana over the mask and secures it with a double knot.  He blindfolds
Leah, Irene and Nadia in a similar fashion and helps each girl to find a seat.
He then places a black sleepmask over K's eyes and ties a black bandana over it.
He does the same with Olga and D.  Finally, he blindfolds L with the last black
sleepmask.  Reaching for the last bandana, he sees that it is red.  K must have
run out of black bandanas.  Tying the red bandana over L's eyes, he realizes it
will make it easier to remember that she is the left-handed one.

"Are your blindfolds reasonably comfortable?" J asks, as he surveys the eight
competitors.  "Now is the time to say something since you are not allowed to
touch your blindfolds at anytime during the contest."

Nadia raises her hand.  "Mine feels a little too tight."

J walks over to her, unties and reties her blue bandana blindfold.  "How's
that?"

"Better," the petite Oriental girl replies.

The guide from one of the visually impaired teams inspects the blindfolded
students and announces that they are ready to begin.

B leads off for the Blue team with Donna acting as guide.  K begins for the
Black team, guided by J.

B delivers a good shot for a count of eight on her first ball.  Her second ball
stays on the lane but fails to contact the remaining pins.

K allows J to position her feet and begins her slow walk to the foul line with
the fingertips of her left hand maintaining contact with the steel rail.  She
fails to deliver her straight ball straight down the lane as the ball veers into
the channel before reaching the pins.  She concentrates harder on the second
shot and ends up with a score of six.

The student teams receive much vocal encouragement from the small gathering of
on-lookers which counters the friendly taunts from the visually impaired teams
who are doing much better.

In the third frame, K makes her first mark by converting for a spare, much to
J's delight.  However, the Blue team races ahead with B and Irene both throwing
strikes in the third frame resulting in loud cheers from Brad and Luke.

The Black team has to wait until the seventh frame for its first strike.  It
comes courtesy of L who delivers the ball firmly into the one-two pocket.  D
ends up being the striking queen by generating strikes in the eighth and tenth
frames.

B scores 76, Leah scores 63, Irene tallies 72 and Nadia makes 68 to give the
Blue team a total of 279.  K reaches 59, Olga struggles for 46, L scores 69 and
D makes 81 for a total of 255.  The Blue team wins the first match and takes an
aggregate 24-pin lead.  The four teams of visually impaired persons fare much
better averaging over 350 per team.

At the end of the first game, J realizes that neither of the student teams is
going to be able to challenge any of the visually impaired teams.  But he
notices that the girls have tried hard and can sense that they are now a little
more relaxed as they get ready for the second game.

As he leads K to the approach to deliver the first ball of the second game, he
doesn't notice the handsome young man who has just wandered into the
establishment.

Dan Majewski spots J and recognizes the woman he is assisting.  She is
blindfolded and was blindfolded, too, when he first met her.  J is now
surrounded by blindfolded women.  He doesn't interrupt but joins the small crowd
of well wishers.  J had mentioned to him when they were dining out two nights
earlier that there was a bowling event for charity and had asked him to show up
if he wasn't doing anything.  He and J had talked almost till closing time
before splitting but J hadn't mentioned the unusual nature of the event.

A particular girl catches Dan's eye.  He notices her tall, slim frame; her
short, brown hair; and, the easy, graceful way she moves.  She is blindfolded
with a red bandana that seems to be tied over a mask of some sort.  As the
blindfold obscures the upper part of her face he doesn't realize that he has
seen her before.  He catches J's eye as she completes the frame, and waves to J
who waves back.

K is really enjoying the challenge of this event.  Although not a particularly
good bowler, she is determined to do well and finds she is really concentrating
on J's directions.  She is eventually rewarded with her first strike and even
marks with a spare to end up with a well-deserved 77.

Olga fails to strike again in the second game but keeps the ball rolling better
on the lane to break 50, ending up with 57.

L does a little better in the second game pulling off a strike again to end up
with 82.  She hears loud cheers when she makes her strike.

D tails off in the second game, garnering only a single spare.  She ends up with
69 to give the Black team a total of 285.

The Blue team does about the same in the second game, but with a score of 277
falls short of the Black team.  The Blue team still leads on aggregate by 16
points.

The third and final game is definitely more raucous than the first two.  The
student teams are into it with the same spirit as the visually impaired teams.
As the scores are automatically tallied and displayed on the screens, the guides
pass them on to the players.  There is much good-natured banter as the game goes
on.

The Blue team does amazingly well and ends up with 327.  As they get to the
final frame, J figures his team is going to be soundly beaten.  To make matters
worse, they have no marks to work with from the foundation frame.

K focuses and is rewarded by the cheers as she delivers a strike to get her two
extra balls.  She is unlucky with her second ball that tails off into the
channel.  She succeeds in getting six pins with her last ball to make 83.

Olga contributes 8 pins to the aggregate to finish with 64 but J realizes it is
not nearly enough.  They will need a miracle now.

L comes to the line.  She tries to visualize the pins, steps forward and follows
through.  She hears the toppling of timber and the thunderous roar.  Strike!
One voice seems to rise above the cheers.  She thinks she has heard the voice
somewhere before but she is not sure.  She forces herself to focus on her second
shot.  The deafening cheers arise again.  Strike!  Again, one male voice seems
to sustain the cheer longer.  L prepares for and delivers the third ball well to
get an impressive count of 8 on her last ball.  She ends up with 116, the high
score among the students.

More importantly, her last-minute heroics have put the Black team back into the
contest.  D has a score of 72 from 9 frames.  A count of 8 will result in a tie;
9 or more pins will ensure a victory; and a count of 7 of or fewer will mean
defeat.  D hears the screams of encouragement from her teammates and the other
on-lookers as she comes to the line.

***

County Fair

It is spring of 1979 and a young couple is watching a bowling exhibition of a
different kind.  Sussex, Kent and Hampshire are the counties in the heartland
that was the birthplace of this game in the sixteenth century.  Today they are
in Maidstone, Kent watching an incredible performance by the sensation from
Somerset known as Ian Botham.  He has just bowled another fine fast-medium
delivery that has uprooted the middle of three stumps to get out yet another
home-team batsman.  The locals refer to him as 'Beefy' and because of his
athletic adeptness in all aspects of the game - bowling, fielding and batting -
he is soon to go on to skipper the England team.

Derek Exeter, like any English, Australian, Pakistani or Indian boy who has
grown up playing it, understands that cricket is more than a game.  The term
'not cricket,' after all, means 'not honorable.'  Any young American, Taiwanese,
Cuban or Dominican boy who has donned a glove probably feels the same way about
baseball.  Cricket, in many ways, is a metaphor for life and Derek, who has
learned its lessons well, is a proponent of its fair-minded spirit.

But it doesn't make it any easier to explain the intricacies of the game to the
daughter of the diplomat stationed in London.  All of nineteen years and
attending the same university as her slightly older companion, she has a
fondness for the English countryside and a curiosity about their customs.
Cricket, like the pronunciations for Gloucestershire or Warwickshire, flummoxes
her.

"But it's so slow," she entreats.  "The game goes on for days."

"Patience is one of the first lessons," Derek explains.  "Besides, you wouldn't
serve a good French wine before its time."

"Oui," she agrees, "but I have no desire in watching wine age."

He leans over and kisses her.  It is hopeless, he decides, to convert someone
from the opposite side of the Channel.  It is hopeless, too, to try to stop
falling in love with her.

This one is so different, she thinks to herself - he's almost cultured.
Ordinarily, she would have had difficulty using 'cultured' and 'Englishman' in
the same sentence.  Unlike most of his fellow-islanders, this one really has the
potential to be a European.

His advances, she notices, are slow, too.  Not that she is complaining.  He is
charming and she is captivated by the courtship custom.  She is curious about
seeing that powerful six-foot-three 190-lb. frame in all its glory.  Why the
English can't measure weight or distance sensibly also fascinates her.

Unbeknownst to her though, Derek Exeter has decided that this is to be the
idyllic weekend on which he will try to split her defenses and bowl her with his
yorker.  A better bowler than a batsman, he looks forward to encountering a
sticky wicket.

***

Fair Fare

D allows J to position her feet as she steadies her grip on the ball with her
left hand.  She moves her left hand to the rail and sets off to release the
ball.  It thunders down the lane and D is grateful to hear the sound of crashing
pins.  "How many?" she screams.

"Seven," J replies.

D groans as do her teammates.

"You've still got one more ball, at least."  But J is more disconcerted than he
sounds as he describes the annoying 6-7-10 split.

The cheers begin again until J silences them to aim D to at the 6-7.  She bowls
the ball and anxiously awaits the sound of pins falling.

J groans and falls to the floor as the ball goes down the middle, missing the
pins entirely.

Donna and the rest of the Blue team erupt as they win 883-882 despite losing the
last two games to the Black team.

D is dejected but J consoles her and the rest of the team.  "All of you did much
better than I expected and you won two games out of the three."

"Oh!  So close," D cries.  "I'm sorry I let you guys down."

"That's O.K., D," K assuages.  "You tried your best and I'm sure the other girls
did, too."

"And your team score in the last game," J adds, "was truly terrific."

"Can we remove our blindfolds now?" Olga asks.

"No way!" yells Donna.  "Remember our bet?"

The Blue team removes their blindfolds and starts to escort the Black team to
return their shoes.  J is just walking over to greet Dan when Donna sidles up
beside him.

"Hi there!" she says.  "You know that the forfeit applies to the guide as well."

"Oh, no!" J cries in mock anguish as Donna places a sleepmask over his eyes and
ties a bandana over it.

"Donna," J continues, "I'd like you to meet Dan."

"Hi Dan," Donna remarks, "why don't you join us for a bite?"

"Are you sure it's O.K.?"

"Sure," Donna says.  "Especially if you're up to making a small charitable
contribution."

"Certainly," Dan agrees.  Besides, he has a reason to hang around a little
longer.

"Also, you can help by leading this loser to the cafeteria.  I'll join you
shortly."

Fay, who has secured the video equipment, limps over.  "I'll show you guys where
we're sitting."

Dan guides J over to a chair and sits beside him.

"We should save a chair for K," J decides, as he stands up, removes his coat,
and places it on the chair to his left.

"Who is the girl in the red bandana?" Dan asks, trying to sound casual.

"That's Ange."

"Is she attached?"

"I'm not sure," J states.

"Would you introduce me when she gets back?" Dan requests, as he secures the
chair on his right with his coat.

"Sure, except I'm not in a position to see her."

"They're baaack!" Dan exclaims shortly.

The procession of students marches into the cafeteria.  Nadia leads Olga to a
chair and sits beside her.  Leah guides D in and hands her off to Juan.  B leads
K in, closely followed by Irene who is guiding L.

"Where's J?"

"J's right here," B says, as she helps K locate the chair that J has saved.

"You can come sit with Luke and me, Ange," Irene offers.

Taking his cue, J states, "Actually, we've already saved a chair for our star
bowler at this table."

"Let me help you."  Dan jumps up and guides L to the chair that he was just
sitting on.

"Who can I thank for warming up my seat?" L asks.

Before Dan has a chance to respond, J interposes, "That would be our official
designated bun warmer.  Ange I'd like you to meet my friend, Dan."

L extends her right hand that is met by Dan's.  As she shakes it, she notices it
seems to be covered by some fabric.  She isn't sure what it is and guesses to
herself that it might be a bandage of some sort.  "Pleased to meet you, Dan."

"The pleasure is all mine, Ange," extols Dan, who is more than a little pleased
to see that she is unescorted.

"Hi Dan!" shouts K.  "Didn't know you were here."

"Hi K!" Dan retorts warmly.  "That was a wonderful exhibition - especially from
you and Ange."

"I agree that Ange was the real star today," K says.  "She put us in position to
win the series."

"Too bad we lost," L sighs.

"Since it was for charity, I'm sure everyone won," Dan concludes.  "You should
be very pleased with yourself Ange - that was an awesome final game.  I don't
often bowl two strikes in a row with my eyes open."

Dan can't keep his eyes off L but still doesn't recognize her because the upper
part of her face is still covered by the blindfold.  L finds that Dan's voice
sounds extremely familiar though she isn't sure where she's heard it before.

The gathering sits down for their meal after some thanks and good-natured
ribbing from the event organizer.  The food is only fair, Dan thinks, but the
company is marvelous and the conversation cheery.

Near the end of the meal J asks, "When are you going to be on-air again, Dan?"

"I'll be on tomorrow - afternoon shift."

"On what?" L asks.

"WBOS, the voice of BU," K responds.

"Oh!" L says, "I thought I'd heard that voice before - you're not the Magic Man,
are you?"

"On my better days," Dan replies, "but I've been called worse."

At the end of the meal, Donna, Leah and B come over and stand behind the still
blindfolded trio at Dan's table.  "I think you guys have paid your forfeit very
sportingly.  Before we take off your blindfolds, we'd just like to say we had a
lot of fun whooping your butts."

The girls start to untie the bandanas and pull off the sleepmasks.

K turns to J and gives him a peck on the cheek.  "Oh no, J!" she exclaims, "I
just remembered I left my books at the salon."

"No problem.  We can stop by on the way back if you've got the combination for
the alarm system."

"I do but I'll double-check with D and let her know."

L blinks and turns around to view her table companion.  She looks into his
steel-gray orbs that lock onto her teal-green eyes.  It's magic, man.

***

Savoir-faire

"So what do you think of my thesis about businesses being more ethical now?" Dan
queries, sipping his red wine that has been slow arriving.

"I think if you asked my dad, he'd probably question if business and ethics
could be used in the same sentence."  J's father had been laid off after
seventeen years of service with the same company.

"It's unfortunate that your dad was a victim of the euphemistic 'corporate
downsizing' but that was during a time when CEOs were taking a much narrower
short-term view," Dan posits.  "Besides, your dad was probably a born
entrepreneur to buy a small business and spawn it into an incredibly successful
chain."

"Yeah, I was surprised to learn that dry-cleaning has turned so many people into
millionaires."

"I guess there will always be enough dirty laundry to make the world go round."

"You don't have to remind Clinton," J chuckles, as he drinks in the pleasing
ambience of this new restaurant that he hasn't been to before.

"I just think there is a new spirit in Corporate America now with a more
idealized vision and the genesis of a reinvestment in education."

"I would yield to your latter point.  But even the most generous corporations
would agree that their primary motivation for investment in scientific and
technical education is rooted in their desire for survival."

"Agreed.  But the spillover effect will benefit society as a whole," Dan
contends.  "I think this is an exciting time to be living and I feel great to be
a part of Generation X-cellent."

"As to the vision, how much is really proactive and how much is merely a
reaction to the times because society will no longer tolerate destructive
corporate practices?"

"A little bit of both, I suppose," Dan concedes.  "You might argue that with the
amazing number of mergers and acquisitions creating monopolies and oligopolies
that have occurred, that we face threats to competition itself; but I would
argue that most CEOs now see the reality of a greater interdependence among
their companies."

"I think you'll be able to find a sufficient number of examples to make a strong
case for your theory but I'm taking a somewhat different approach to my thesis."

"Which is?"

"I propound that we still do a lousy job of using our resources - primarily the
human component.  Companies that do consistently well over the long haul make
their biggest investment in people, promote from within, and reward them well
for creativity and risk-taking.  The vast majority, however, do not which
explains the large amount of dissatisfaction among workers, especially with the
ever-widening socio-economic gap."

"Not to change the subject, but where the hell is our food?  I'm sure we ordered
before that couple at the next table and they've been served already."  Dan
waves at a waiter who ambles by eventually and says he'll look into it.

Dan's food arrives ten minutes later.  J is not impressed with the failure to
deliver his meal.  The waiter retreats again.  Dan declines to start his meal.
Five minutes elapse.  Dan looks around at the restaurant that is not very
crowded.  The other patrons are all eating.  He looks at J and asks, "You're not
thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Ordinarily, as you know, I bend over backward to give everyone the benefit of
the doubt, but this just doesn't feel right."

"Yeah, something's rotten and not only in Denmark," Dan states, his mood souring
by the second.

The waiter finally emerges and places a platter in front of J.  "This isn't what
I ordered.  I'd like to see the manager," J insists.

"What's seems to be the problem here?" asks the man who emerges from the
kitchen.

"We seem to be experiencing difficulty being served on time and getting the
meals we ordered," J remarks.

"Well, there's no pleasing some people," the manager states diffidently.

This response does nothing to please either J or Dan, who is beginning to
seethe.

"We'd like to get the meals we ordered and we expect decent service," J
continues, maintaining his cool.

"If you don't like the service you can always leave."

"This is bullshit!" screams Dan, who is now several shades redder.  "If you keep
this up I'll sic Feinstein Usselman Calvin Klein on you."

"I don't care about your big-beaked, beanie-headed, money-grubbing vultures.  If
you insist on creating a disturbance, I'll have to call the cops."

J looks over at Dan and gestures a stop sign.  J hears a sound and is impressed
that Dan doesn't flinch.  "We're not leaving.  We came here on the
recommendation of a friend.  Your restaurant has a pleasant ambience and I'm
sure you have spent several hundred thousand dollars on renovations.  If
tonight's clientele is any indication, it is going to take much, much longer to
recoup your investment.  Since the restaurant business depends on word of mouth,
we will give you another chance to make a good impression, so that we can tell
our friends who will tell theirs, and so on.  Up to this point, we are not
impressed with the service and we will certainly not be leaving a tip.  I
strongly suggest that you remove these dishes and serve us what we ordered.  But
if you insist on calling in the police, we'll be quite happy to explain what
you're trying to do."

"Is that all?" the manager asks, still a tad disdainfully.

"You might consider advertising on the University radio station.  You may find
your occupancy rate increasing dramatically."

For the first time, the manager actually looks directly at J.  "Expensive?"

"Not really.  It's an investment that will pay off quickly," J continues in his
calm, even tone.  "I'm just curious - do you donate your excess food?"

"No, because I'm sure there'll be some shysters suing us over food-poisoning."

"Actually, there is a Good Samaritan law which prevents that, so you should
really look into it.  By the way, we'd like a couple more glasses of house red
on the house; and, please have our waiter clean the table and get us fresh
wineglasses."

Their food arrives in ten minutes.  Dan uses the time to fish out the remaining
fragments of the crushed wineglass from his right hand.  He wraps his hand with
a white napkin as the waiter washes away the mixture of blood and wine.

***

Lilith Fair

It is a slow but pleasant drive to the beauty salon.  Both J and K are quieter
than usual having exerted much of their energies in the activities at the
bowling alley.  K glances out the window as the radio begins to play 'Building a
Mystery' from Sarah's 'Surfacing' album.

"Wow!" K enthuses.  "That is such a great song."

"The whole CD is great," J appends.  "I think this is the one that, without a
shadow of doubt, ascends her to the poet laureate of our generation, in the same
way that Joni was the voice of our parents' generation."

"What about Jewel?"

"She's really good but isn't quite at the level of enlightenment that Sarah
seems to be blessed with.  I think the torch has been passed from Mitchell to
McLachlan."

"Just like in acting, the torch has been passed from Streep to Paltrow?" K asks
rhetorically.  "But wouldn't some say that Alanis is the voice of Generation X?"

"I know it's hard to argue with the phenomenal success of 'Jagged Little Pill'.
It's a very angry album and I'm sure that's what got everyone's attention."

"Is her new album like that?"

"I've just got a hold of 'Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie' and it takes a far
more peaceful approach."

"Did her trip to India have something to do with it?"

"Possibly.  Although, I'm not sure she would admit it."

"Is she Canadian?"

"Yeah.  Morrisette, like Mitchell and McLachlan, is in the company of a lot of
great Canadian women singer-songwriters in the music scene now.  Amanda
Marshall, Shania Twain, Jann Arden, Amy Sky, and Chantal Kreviazuk are just a
few of many."

"There seem to be quite a few women receiving airplay now."

"Deservedly so.  And Sarah has done more single-handedly to promote women with
her summer tours in recent years."

"Is there going to be one this year?"

"Yeah.  Unfortunately, though, I think 1999 is going to be the last year for
'Lilith Fair.'"

***

Hair Affair

"It's right here where I left it," she says, reaching for her bag of books.

"Maybe we don't need to leave just yet."

"How come?"

"I've got a sudden urge to wash your hair," he reveals.

"Excuse me?"

"It's always nicer if somebody else washes your hair, don't you think?"

"I guess so," K agrees, "but why the sudden interest in hair care?"

"It's always been a fantasy of mine to do this for a woman..."

"And since I'm the only one who happens to be available right now...?"

"I guess you'll have to do," he sighs, drawing her closer and kissing her.  He
gets K to show him how to adjust the chair and work the water spray.  "There's
one more element to this fantasy."

"What would that be?"

"That you would be blindfolded."

"You obviously couldn't use a scarf or a sleepmask," K decides, "so I presume
you want to eye-patch me."

"I could but I'd like to try something a little different if it's O.K. with
you."

As K accedes, J reaches into his pocket and removes the supplies he needs for
the operation.  He hesitates for a moment before speaking.  "That's such a nice
top and I'm sure you wouldn't want to get it all wet..."

"You're kidding, right?  What if somebody sees us?"

"That's part of the adventure.  Besides, the blinds are drawn and no one is
coming back here tonight."

K acquiesces and, after some further coaxing, allows J to remove her bra.  She
is not sure exactly what's going to happen but is already tingling before she
sits down in the chair.

As K leans back, J places a make-off pad (the kind used to remove eye makeup) on
each eye.  He tapes a narrow strip of adhesive tape across the pads, making sure
the tape avoids any hair.  He takes a black strapless satin sleepmask and places
it over her padded eyes.  Using a slightly wider adhesive tape, he uses a long
strip to fasten the top of the sleepmask to her forehead.  He uses two shorter
strips to fasten each side of the sleepmask.  J uses another long strip to tape
the bottom of the sleepmask to her face.  He steps back a moment to look at her
and decides to add a final touch.  He takes another strip and attaches it
diagonally from one side of her forehead to the opposite cheek.  J makes another
diagonal in the opposite direction ending up with a design that looks like the
letter 'X'.  He presses down on it and ensures that the sleepmask is firmly in
place.

"Hold on tight.  We're going for a ride," he announces, as he spins her chair
around a few times.

"I'm dizzy, J!"  K is a little disoriented especially since she wasn't expecting
to be twirled around.  But she is beginning to tingle with excitement as she
pictures herself sitting half-naked and blindfolded in the salon, wondering what
J is going to do next.

J steps behind her so that the back of her head is pressing against his chest.
He inserts his fingers into her long raven hair and starts to pull the hair away
from her head in long, continuous strokes.  He kneads her scalp from the base to
the top of the skull just as if he were actually shampooing her hair.  He
continues the scalp massage for over five minutes.  J then draws his hands
gently out through her hair, repeating the motions he began with, causing K to
relax.

"Now lean your head back slightly," he instructs.  As K complies, he supports
the base of her skull with his right hand while he glides his left hand from her
neck to her shoulder.  He repeats this process a number of times before
alternating hands and gently stretching her right shoulder.

"Lean your head to the right."  J supports her head with his right hand while he
uses his left thumb and forefinger to make tiny circles around her left lobe.
He continues the stroke along the side of her ear and then uses his fingertips
to stroke behind and around the ear.  He switches hands and gives her right ear
the same treatment.

"That's sending tingles through my whole body," K sighs dreamily.

"Then I must be doing it right."  J then supports her head with his chest and
moves his fingertips in small circles over her mouth and jaw.  He pushes down
her chin with his thumbs causing her mouth to relax.  Supporting the underneath
of her chin with his index fingers, he uses short thumb strokes to knead her
chin.  Using the pads of his fingers he gently strokes her chin up to her jaw.
He ends by using longer strokes that move up to her ears.

"You're not stopping, are you?" moans K.

"We'll have to save the full facial massage for another time when you're not
blindfolded."

"Hmmm, what else is included in the full facial massage?"

"Your forehead, eyebrows, eyes, cheekbones and cheeks but it works best if
you're lying on your back."

"Promise me you'll give me the full treatment sometime."

"Only if you'll be a really good girl."  J senses her tension has eased and he
is enjoying giving her this simple pleasure.

"Aren't I always?"

"The jury's still out on that one," J states.  "It's time to get you all wet."

K bites her lip and resists a crack as she leans her head back into the sink.
She feels the warmth of the water from the nozzle streaming through her tresses.
She smells the perfume of the shampoo as J kneads it vigorously into her scalp.
The sensation is calming and wonderful.  No woman can resist this sort of
pampering.  She notices the rinse cycle commencing and feels her cares and
worries being washed away.  The rinse continues deliciously as she feels his
fingers guiding the soapy suds through her hair into the sink.  K smells the
conditioner on his hands and feels it being massaged into her scalp.  The second
rinse cycle feels even more delicious than the first, sending chills through her
body again.  She feels the water stop flowing and then a towel under her neck as
his hands guide her to a sitting position.  She hears the chair being adjusted
and feels her bare back being supported again.  The towel dry cycle begins
gently with J soaking up the excess water.  It becomes more vigorous as he rubs
the towel into her scalp.

Tossing the wet towel aside, J grabs a pick and starts to draw it through her
still wet hair in long flowing outward strokes.  He continues this treatment
until the tangles disappear.  For a few minutes he traces the tips of her
tresses along her neck and shoulders.  He finds a portable hair dryer and fires
it up.

The sound startles K at first but the sensation of hot air on her belly
surprises her more.  The warm air travels slowly over her abdomen, her breasts
and her neck before she feels it on her head.  After a few minutes she feels the
pick running through her locks again.  For a few moments she feels and hears
nothing except her deep breathing.

Suddenly, she feels something glide across her right boob.  It must be the pick!
The sensation within the blindfold is delicious as the pick endlessly traverses
every square inch of her upper torso in long, fluid vertical strokes that end at
her shoulders.  She gasps as the strokes begin again but this time they are
moving horizontally.  Her epidermis is ablaze and alive as the pick now
traverses her skin in shorter, sensuous strokes surprising her by showing up in
sundry spots.  The sensation suddenly ceases.

K discerns a different object stroking her.  "A brush?" she asks.

"Very good," J comments, as he continues to minister to her.

It seems like eons of ecstasy suspended in the murkiness of her quaint blindfold
as various objects caress her arms, shoulders, bust and belly.  J confirms her
correct guesses but refuses to enlighten her on her incorrect ones, making
careful mental note of the ones she misses.  The stroking is now accompanied
with nibbles on her nape and her lobes giving her gooseflesh again.

J toys with transient moves of a cotton swab.  He inserts the Q-tip in her navel
and then crisscrosses it over her chest.  He dances it around an aureole in
ever-expanding concentric circles like the ripple of a rock cast into a river.
Finally, he garners a dry towel, stands in front of her and begins to polish her
breasts like a pair of shoes.  He leans over her and welcomes her now fully
bloomed nipples with his lips.

Much later, when K is dressed again she says, "You can wash away my worries
anytime but there's only one thing I never want washed out of my hair."

"And what would that be?"

"My big, fuzzy-wuzzy, hair-care bear."

************************************************************************

Author's Note:

Readers of this story may make a copy for their personal use.  The author's
permission is required for any other use or dissemination of this story in any
form, any such use acknowledging me as the author of the work.  Author's E-mail
address: trevain@home.com
************************************************************************
A Tale of Three Cities  Trevain  (1999-06-23)