Gillian Anderson plays a drill sergeant recently released from the Army after becoming the victim of an unfortunate mess hall accident where a pot of mystery meat fell into the Kool-Aid/bug juice. The resulting chemical reaction caused an explosion. Gillian's character lost her ears (but thanks to the wonders of military medicine, she now wears very realistic protheses) and saw her best friend, the company sniper, played by Chevy Chase, die after literally being blown right out of his shoes. Now she wanders the disappearing forests of California, shoeless because of a shoephobia (caused by seeing those lonely shoes left behind), trying to find a natural cure for her most recently discovered malady -- she is shrinking! And the shorter she becomes, the more her ears fall off. Chevy Chase is reincarnated as her guardian angel, but he's suffering from amnesia and can't remember being her friend or the cure he was supposed to help her find. As they search together, they are joined by a band of wacky cemetary ghosts -- both human and housepets -- who were all victims of Chevy's less-than-talented sniper skills and who are intent on educating them (and the unwitting audience) about wildlife in California. The ghosts know the cure for Gillian's problem, but will Gillian and Chevy ever find it?
Submitted by: Kerri
In an exciting, innovative new show, William Shatner stars with Flipper in a show told from the point of view of the dolphin. In order to truly experience Flipper's perceptions, the entire series is told in mime. William Shatner is a blind circus performer in Medieval Times who longs to be a blacksmith. (He wears sunglasses because of the blindness.) He leaves the rest of the circus and goes off on his own. Because he's blind, and crazy, and is listening to the rantings and ravings of his imaginary friend, he wanders into the ocean. Flipper saves him an dthey become inseperable friends. The series takes the friends on a journey, wherever the ocean leads them. Flipper teaches William the lessons of keeping the oceans clean and eventually William gives up his dream of becoming a blacksmith and becomes the world's first ecologist.
Submitted by: Fred
Daytime fans will go nuts over this new show starring John Travolta, a comedian blessed with the superhuman skills of flying and melting anything with his tongue; Julia Roberts, a marshal arts expert and teacher and the owner of the local radio station; and Pauly Shore, a deep sea diver who likes to pick fleas off dogs.
All three live in Scotland, right next to Loch Ness, where Nessie is Travolta's faithful benefactor (being a space alien who brought special abilities to Earth and found John a worthy recipient) and sidekick. Together, they roam the forests around Loch Ness, searching for poor sots, uh, er, Scots who have wandered outside (drunk) in the nippy air and have succumbed to the cold (especially in those locations where the kilt does not protect). Nessie is like a Saint Bernard as she feeds even more whiskey to the drunk bastards, and Travolta uses his favorite of the two powers -- he licks the Scots to thaw them out! Sometimes Roberts tags along, when they're patroling the border of Scotland and England, to help them beat up any hapless English twits.
Roberts owns a radio station where Travolta does a daily comedy show, usually highlighting the details of a recent superhero adventure and what the Scot had to say when s/he awoke to Travolta licking him/her. Roberts herself hosts a martial arts hour, and Pauly Shore has hourly updates on the Surf and Diving Report for Loch Ness.
Unfortunately, Shore's character is actually the result of an unfortunate incident where his mother/sister and father accidentally got together before his grandmother/mother revealed the secret baby (his mother/sister) she'd had by his father years ago after Chad went to prison for drugging the entire town. His inbreeding status gave him ...shall we say, mental insufficiencies... and his frequent diving (and lack of knowledge on the method of diving which results in pressure sickness) leave him less than capable to help the trio of superheroes. To Nessie's chagrin, he spends his days chasing, "that dog in the Loch," so he can pick fleas -- his favorite hobby.
Each episode highlights the love rectangle between the characters (Shore->Nessie->Travolta->Roberts->herself) and the rescues/ action-adventure of each superhero incident.
Submitted by:
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Title: Headless in LA
After losing the OJ trial, Marcia Clark decides that her ineffectuality as a prosecutor means a change in the career scene. Premiere episode shows us Marcia trying to decide what to do. Due to her experience at being unable to lock up murderers, she decides that becoming a funeral director is a sure-fire, guaranteed income earner. After leaving Star Trek, a cross-dressing Leonard Nimoy wandered the streets of L.A. as a streetside sax player hoping to break into the music business. His one connection with his past is the time-machine prop from the old Star Trek set. Michael Jackson & Lisa Marie Presley are arguing in the street one day and bump into a heavily sedated Leonard, who falls into the street where he is decapitated by the bicycle spokes of a passing courier. He is delivered to Marcia's funeral parlour where she begins trying to make-up over the huge Charles Kurault shaped birthmark, not to mention his rapidly green becoming skin. Miracle of miracles! Leonard is still alive. Now, as a team, they use Leonard's time machine which for some reason, only operates from within a closet, to flash in and out of different scenes throughout time, resulting in an almost inexhaustible source of material for writers. Marcia going back in time to try her luck and re-prosecuting her trials, Leonard in search of a cure for decapitation. As an ongoing joke or hook, an extremely pale - believed to be dead - Michael Jackson can be brought into Marcia's funeral parlour from time to time by the cops.
Submitted by: Brian
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Title: RMW: Real Man's Wrastlin
(the pitch) RMW takes place in Beavis's back yard, which is also
the RMW
arena. Postal Neve Campbell, who plays a tassle-clad Motel 6
doorman, is
the current RMW TV (Tranvestite) Title holder. After holding
the title for
6 months, wrastlin commissioner, Emanuel Lewis, forces her to put the
title
on the line that night at Pay-Per-View event number 7: "The Sport is
War"
to the first challenger. Low and behold, the lights go out.
"Tubular
Bells" begins to play and lights come back on. And standing in
front of
Commissioner Lewis and Postal Campbell is Nicholas "Triple X! X! X!"
Cage,
leader of the NAT (NEW A-Team), holding up his favorite weapon a Nordic
Track. Along with Cage are his Deciples the Three Old Witches,
the
previous Tag Team Title holders. Commissioner Lewis leaves the
ring as the
bell sounds. Campbell, not very impressed by the spectacle, is
preparing
for her finishing move, "Postal's Special Delivery," just seconds into
the
match. But because she has a chronic nose-picking disorder she
miscalculates her move. This is very intimatidating to Cage.
He now knows that she can beat him in a second.
Cage, obviously scared, then grabs his weapon, the Nordic Track, and
hits
Campbell. But, since Cage is colorblind, he didn't notice that
Postal
Campbell and her tag team partner Drooling Gary Coleman pulled a double
switch. Cage now destroying Coleman thinks he is winning and
goes for the
pin. Campbell, already in the announcers booth sits and watches
the
spectacle. The ref, America's Favorite Game Show Host, Bob Sagat,
tells
Cage that it is not Campbell, but it is really Coleman. Campbell
then
makes her way to the ring, with some sort of remote control.
Then after
some yelling, Campbell pushes a button on the remote and the ring explodes
with everyone in it. This allows Campbell to retain the title
and set up a
fued with her now severly burned partner, Drooling Gary Coleman.
Submitted by: John J. Andreula II