Life in the Real World VIII: Love in the Real World, Part 3: Searching for Mr. Dunderhead

Life in the Real World VIII: Love in the Real World, Part 3: Searching for Mr. Dunderhead Life in the Real World VIII: Love in the Real World, Part 3: Searching for Mr. Dunderhead
by Talia M. Wilson

Now single, and having FINALLY found a form of closure with Paul, I am now to that point where I have to start the dubious task of moving on.

Yeah. I'm so thrilled. (Har. Har.)

So, I'm resided to the fact that, eventually, through life's means or my own, I will now embark on a journey to meet the next dunderhead in my life.

Granted, Paul was not - and isn't - a bad guy. Things between us just didn't work out. It's better that we're friends, and it's probably even better that we have dated because we'll not likely have anything to be embarrassed about. It's just when I think about things, sometimes I still get a little pissed and I think, "Man, what a dunderhead!"

OK, I better back up here. The term 'dunderhead' came to me via my friend Lisa, who picked it up during law school. She let on that it wasn't an actual word, but basically a term of endearment - or disendearment - to direct toward the opposite sex, not necessarily a nasty word, but one got the jist that it wasn't that flattering either. Hence, after he broke up with me, Paul became known as the dunderhead among my female friends in the office. (Which I never told him. Sorry, hon!)

However, thanks to Al Gore's wonderful invention known as the World Wide Web, I discovered that, in fact, dunderhead IS a real word. Hence, the following:

dunderhead - a dunce (American Heritage dictionary, 4th Ed., 2000)

(dunderhead synonyms falling under 'simpleton,' used to express a low opinion of one's intelligence) - dunce, numskull, blockhead, bonehead, lunkhead, hammerhead, knucklehead, loggerhead, muttonhead, shithead, fuckhead. (WordReference.com Dictionary)

dunderhead - dunce, blockhead (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

In addition to the definitions, I discovered that an actual band exists with the moniker Dunderhead. Though just by glancing at the site, one can't really pick up on what kind of music they're into or what kind of band they are. But their philosophy on the 'about' page does seem eerily familiar.

And then there's Der Spiel's Dunderhead of the Day archives. (Google that one.)

And then I ran across a Dunderhead Haiku that seems to fit. At least it would, if he were a lesbian.

Nevertheless, dunderhead might be too harsh a term to label my new friend Paul, though it fit better when he was just my ex-boyfriend. I know he wouldn't appreciate any name calling, and neither would I. So, I guess as long as he doesn't call me a retard, I won't be calling him a dunderhead.

As for me, finding the next male in my life, dunderhead or not, is not really a top priority. I guess I'm prematurely labeling him a dunderhead because, after Paul, he's got A LOT of measuring up to do. (And I mean that in the least sexual way possible, for crying out loud!) Yeah, for a while, Paul was a dunderhead, but he was the best that's come along so far, and that says something. But it also means I won't be settling for just anyone. And if that means it takes some time, then that's OK.

I'd rather be right.

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since October 15, 2005.