Original Script

Though pre-existing material was researched and referenced, this is original work. Any duplication in part or in whole without the authors' consent is stricly forbidden.

Scene One: Childhood, age 6 (1762)

(Mozart plays with his toys and head-bangs to loud music. His father, Leopold, enters and is very angry.)

LEOPOLD: Was machst du?
MOZART: Ich spiele mit meine Puppe [Barbie].
LEOPOLD: Ach nein! (turns off music) Du bist faul. Du musst Klavier spielen.
MOZART: (whining) Vater. . .
LEOPOLD: Nein! Speil!
MOZART: (grumbling) Ach so.

(Leopold walks away. Mozart begins playing Beethoven, rather loudly, once again angering Leopold.)

LEOPOLD: Nein! Was ist das?

(Mozart stops and begins tapping out "Heart & Soul.")

LEOPOLD: (rolls his eyes) Du meine Gute!

Scene Two: After the performance of his first successful opera, Idomeneo (1780)

(Outside the Beethoven Theatre in Vienna)

REPORTER: Ich bin Constanze Weber an das Beethoven Theater in Wien und ich warte für Wolfgang Mozart zusprechen.

(Mozart exits theater.)

REPORTER: Hallo, Herr Mozart.
MOZART: (overly friendly) Hallo.
REPORTER: Darf ich mit Ihnen sprechen?
MOZART: Ja. Ach, ja.
REPORTER: Wie geht es Ihnen?
MOZART: Wunderbar. Und Sie, Fraulein?
REPORTER: Gut, Herr Mozart. Und nun ihre Oper ist eine Erfolg, was machen Sie nachste?
MOZART: Ich fahre nach Disneyland.
REPORTER: Wie bitte?
MOZART: Nein, ich muss gehen. Aber ruf mir an.
REPORTER: (unsure) Ach, ja.

Scene Three: Married Life to Deathbed (circa 1787-1791)

(Mozart and Constanze Weber are now married. Mozart is now famous due to the popularity of the opera Don Giovanni. Constanze is jamming to her music when Mozart graciously interrupts.)

MOZART: Hallo, Liebling. Was machst du?
CONSTANZE: Ich höre Musik. (makes a ‘DUH’ reference)
MOZART: Ach ja

(Mozart changes the music to ‘Eine Kleine Nachtmusik’, which she is sick of hearing. Mozart dances around frantically to it, conducting, while Constanze mocks him and makes faces.)

MOZART: Wunderbar! Wunderbar! Meine beste Arbeit!
CONSTANZE: (sarcastic) Ja, er ist mein Traumpartner.

(It is now 1791. Mozart is feverishly on his deathbed, still listening to his music. Constanze is waiting impatiently for it all to end.)

MOZART: (moaning & groaning) . . . Wasser . . .
CONSTANZE: (looking at her watch) Wie viel Zeit hast du?
MOZART: Liebling . . . ich . . . ich . . . (goes unconscious)

(Constanze feels for a pulse and checks her watch; she turns off the music.)

MOZART: . . . ich . . .
CONSTANZE: Verdammt!
MOZART: Mein Kissen . . .
CONSTANZE: Ach, Liebling . . .

(Constanze picks up Mozart’s head and holds it in her arms and inadvertently smothers him; when she realizes he’s dead, she drops his head.)

CONSTANZE: Auf Wiedersehen, Wolfgang.

(Constanze changes the music and begins grooving, glad she’s a free woman.)

Scene Four: Mozart Faces God

(Mozart walks up to God, catching his breath after being smothered.)

GOD: Was sagst du?
MOZART: Töt mir nicht!
GOD: (rolls eyes) Du meine Gute! Ich bin Gott.
MOZART: (in disbelief) Nein!
GOD: Ja. Was sagst du?
MOZART: Wie bitte?
GOD: Du bist Dummkopf!
MOZART: Warum?
GOD: Mozart, ich bin Gott.
MOZART: Ach so.
GOD: Du bist unpraktisch, langweilig, hässlich und nicht ernst. Was sagst du denn?
MOZART: (in a small voice): Es tut mir leid.
GOD: (moans, then answers) Warum?
MOZART: Ich habe sechs Oper, 41 Symphonien und siebzehn Massen geschreiben. Mein Vater kannt nicht sagen, dass ich faul bin.