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There once was a girl named Jasmine who always would go out and go to a bar. She was a strip dancer. She had to do this because her family (her dad and her dog Pongo, her goldfish Goldie, and her cat Chacha) were one step below the poverty level.
One day, she met a prince named Ali Bambam. Ali Bambam got his name not because of a macho fettish for guns, as Jasmine suspected, but because he was an armchair quarterback who watched "The Flinstones" during the off-season.
The prince happened to be drunk that day and, after seeing Jasmine dance, asked her, "Will you ring my ding-a-ling?"
Jasmine looked at his brawny build and found him rather attractive. "What's your name?" she asked.
Ali Bambam replied, "Uh, Robin Boxers? No...Yoga? Darth Velvet? Can? Loner?" Ali Bambam was very frustrated in his drunken way. "Wait! I remember who I am! I'm a magical genie that can grant you the wish of a night of bliss!"
Jasmine was skeptical. She was walking away to call Child Protective Services and the local assylum to report a nut that was sexually harassing her when suddenly Ali Bambam turned into a young street boy. "Dang!" he said, suddenly sober, "my rental time expired."
"What?!?" Jasmine asked.
"I was renting my time as a prince," he explained, "so that I could impress some cute rich girl, get married and get her pregnant in four-and-twenty hours. I tend to hurry things, I know, but I just can't help it."
"What's your real name then?" asked Jasmine.
"Aladdin. But you can call me Al," he added. Then he grabbed her around the waist, leaned close, and said, "Let me take you to the Casbah."
"You idiot!" Jasmine said, "We're already there!"
"Oh," Al said, "Well then, let me take you to a bed in the Casbah!"
"Why the hell do you do want to hit me up? I've been with thousands of other men!" yelled Jasmine.
"You're so beautiful! Your hair! Your eyes! Your voice!" Al said.
"Snap out of it you sex-craving bastard! Leave me alone! Help! Someone help me!" Jasmine screamed.
Two security guards came and said "Mind if we join you?"
"Sure," said Al.
Then all three of them dragged the struggling Jasmine up the back stairs.
"Stop right there, you horney, sexist pigs!" a voice said.
Turning around, Jasmine, Al, and the two security guards saw Pongo, Goldie, Chacha, and Xena, Warrior Princess. "I order you to let that girl go, you fucking bastards!" Xena said, "Men like you have used us women too long!"
The men looked at Xena and ran off because of their Xenaphobia, shrieking like the cowardly men that they were. Jasmine and Xena became friends and Xena came on at the bar as the new strip dancer. Unfortunately, many men had Xenaphobia and would rarely come to the bar. Eventaully the bar had to close and both women were left to walk the streets, where they still roam today.
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