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A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
There lived a beautiful princess who
was captured by the evil Darth Velvet. Darth Velvet had an army of Intel Bunny People with space blasters who guarded the princess day and night, except when they disco danced or visited the local brothel.
One day a young man named Loner decided he would challenge Darth Velvet and rescue the Princess Thea. He went with his pal Can, part cat, part man, in their transportation vehicle which was a
miniature toilet. As you would expect, Loner and Can had trouble getting Darth Velvet to take them seriously, especially since they were less than six inches tall. So Loner went to ask his friend, Yoga, for help. Yoga told Loner to use the force. "What’s the force?" Loner asked. "Curried beans and rice," said Yoga as he let fly with a loud trumpeting, "do it right and you enemies
will drop dead from the stench and no one will dare to challenge you. Be very careful, though, because you might suffocate the princess, too." Loner tried to get all that into his head, but his brain capacity was not what it should be. Then he
remembered how long it had been since the last time he had been with a woman, in fact he had never been. So Loner and Can visited the nearest brothel. Sadly, however, none of the girls wanted to sleep with a couple of perverts like them, no matter how much they were paid. Loner didn’t know what to do, but then he heard Yoga’s voice. "Use the force, Loner!" Obediently, Loner let fly, killing not only the stuck-up whores, but all of Darth Velvet’s men. Darth Velvet had not been at the brothel that night. Loner thought that if he was nice to the princess she would
be with him for one night. So, he set out in search of the princess. Using his height as an advantage, he went to Darth Velvet’s lair and using the force, killed him off. Then he went in search of the princess. He finally found her and realized that she was the perfect height for him – 5in, 1cm. His lust rose within him as he looked at her peaches-and-cream complexion. He asked her "Will you be my lover?" She replied, "Well,
I think that you are a freaky son of a bitch who REALLY smells. What do you think?" "Yes?" asked Loner hopefully. Thea’s reply was a slap so hard that Loner’s head came off. The princess was going to go off with Can until she saw his UFT (uninsured flying toilet) that he expected her to ride in. Thea kneed Loner’s you-know-where, kicked Can’s shins, and left with Darth Velvet’s ghost in his Ferrari and was never heard from again, but there were rumors that she was strip-dancing in a bar somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse.
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