Teaching Mrs.Tingle
Sometimes you see a movie that you expect to suck a donkey's ass and it turns out to be a good movie......well this wasn't one of them. Why it by no means sucks ass it wasn't as entertaining enough to tell you readers to put you stinky asses in high gear right to the theater.
First off to be fair I was surprised I liked it at all. On the way there I was cruising down the road and in a flash all was blurry. Cars were no longer visable but I could hear them wizzzzing by. It took me a few seconds to realize that one lense in my glasses had fell out causing my lose of vision. So I had to do a Maguyver and fix them before i went in. Once inside the previews came on and the film projector was all fucked up; making the heads apear at the bottom of the screen and the legs at the top. Thank God they fixed it before the movie came on. At first I found myself enjoying the evil Mrs. Tingle(Helen Mirren). She was so rude, but everything she said was true. She is the kind of lady who will tell you like it is. Helen Mirren is the true stand out in the movie. She is memoriable screen BITCH! But her performance alone could help the plot holes and weak ending. Katie Holmes plays the wanna-be Valadvictoren who feels she is wrongfully graded on a assignment by Tingle and then wrongfully accused of cheating. All this builds up to a boring kidnapping of the Mrs. Tingle. The usual I'm a outcast bad ass that can pull pussy left and right is played by Barry Watson. His character is nothing new to teen movies. In other words he sucks. Holmes is also not a character to route for even though she is the one your suppose to feel sorry for. She is one point behind the smartest girl in class who happens to be a real suck up bitch. So what she is smarter get over it. Then Holmes bumps uglies with Luke whom her best friend clearly has a crush on. The best friend Jo Lynn Jordan (Marisa Coughlan) is the only other character that is enjoyable. She is a inspiring actress who plays the not as smart as her friend role. In my opinion Jo Lynn is the real victim, not Tingle. Other plot problems also are in the script. The title was called Killing Mrs. Tingle, but it was changed because of all the voilence in the schools of late. Teaching Mrs. Tingle is a better title because the film has nothing to do with killing. I've got the best title though. Teaching Mrs. TINKLE! The bitch ass teacher was tied to the damn bed for three days and not once did the bitch ask to go to the bathroom. They gave her wine to drink, but still no tinkle tinkle. When I drink wine I piss like a race horse!
Teaching Mrs. Tingle is not at the top of its class, but it is you average C student who could have made a B with a little more effort. So wait for the video unless your bored and must go to the movies to watch whatever may be coming on at that time.
Rating **1/2