"Methosmuse Takes a Vacation"

Muse: (n) 1. One of the nine goddesses of song and poery and also the arts
and sciences. 2. The inspiring goddess of a poet. (Webster's Collegiate
Dictionary, fifth edition)

Methosmuse: (n) 1. A muse in the form of Methos, the 5,000-year-old immortal
from "Highlander: The Series." 2. A demanding, annoying guy who eats all my
pretzels and threatens to leave every time I explain that I don't write
slash.


Whew! Done with yet another masterpiece of Highlander fan fiction. I blow
out my candle, stand up from my computer, stretch my cramped back and walk
into the bedroom. Methos sits on my bed, pulling on his Doc Martins:

What are you doing? Planning on taking a trip?

//As a matter of fact, yes. It's too cold here.//

This is South Carolina. The temperature has yet to drop below 30 degrees,
even in the middle of the night.

//It's still too cold. I'm going to Bora Bora.//

Wait a second. It's me, isn't it? I did something to drive you off.

//Well, yes and no. You've been working on that one story for six weeks now.
It never used to take you that long to finish a piece of fan fiction. You've
been editing and rewriting for the past 10 days. Really, that's a bit too
anal.//

Blame it on all the mailing lists. I really didn't care if I even had a beta
until I joined the ROG and Highlander fan fiction lists, but they've
instilled in me more of a sense of pride in my work. Anyway, the story's
done now, so I can try something new.

//Nope. Sorry. Besides, that candle you always light while you're writing
gets a little boring after a while. One of these days, you're going to burn
down the apartment building. Oh, and here's the key.//

The key to what?

//To the closet where I locked Joxer.//

You locked Joxer in the closet? No wonder I haven't felt like writing any
"Xena" stories lately.

//He kept singing that annoying song of his over and over. It was lock him
in the closet or take his head, and I figured that killing him might upset
you.//

You're too kind.

//Anyway, you can drag him out now and that should keep you busy till I get
back. He's been begging for a jazzy update to his Web page anyway.//

Well, I'm sorry you have to leave. I hope you don't stay away too long.

//Maybe you should join me in Bora Bora.//

Uh, I know money means very little to you, but I have to keep working if I'm
going to pay the bills.

//Too, bad. Well, see you next spring.//

Have a nice trip. Don't find any other writers and get attached.

//You know me. I'm like a bad penny. I always ... well, you know the rest of
that anyway. Don't worry. I'll be back.//

Methos walks out of the bedroom, pulls on his coat and leaves ... and with
him goes the inspiration. Well, time to get Joxer out of the closet. He's
been stuck in there for a couple of months now, and he's probably a little
upset. "Xena" fiction, here I come...