Methosmuse in Wonderland

"Uh, oh. I can almost see those wheels turning in your head. Tell me what's going on up there."

Well, I just finished watching that TV special of "Alice in Wonderland."

"And..."

And, I had a wonderful idea for a story. I think I'll call it Methos in Wonderland.

"Oh, that's cute. You'll have me tramping around Fantasia on acid for your personal amusement. Somehow I'm not liking this."

No, just listen for a minute. You've just arrived in Seacouver and have gone to MacLeod's place, only to find it empty. So, to pass time until Mac gets back, you pull a book off the shelf and spread out on Mac's bed.

"The spreading sounds good. I think I can handle that."

Get your mind out of the gutter. You're not that kind of muse.

"So what happens next?"

You fall asleep while reading the book, which just happens to be Alice in Wonderland. In your dream, you find yourself in Wonderland, filling the role of Alice. You're weaponless, defenseless, and you're trying to find the right path to get home.

"This is beginning to have some potential."

Glad you approve. Anyway, every path you try leads you to a regret from you past, but everything is mixed up between the people from you past and the characters in the book.

"So, for example, instead of having tea with the Mad Hatter, the March Hare and the Door Mouse, I'm having tea with Kronos, Silas and Caspian?"

Exactly. And the Queen of Hearts bears a striking resemblance to Cassandra.

"Oh, I don't know about putting the Queen of Hearts in this story. She's too fond of chopping people's heads off. So is Cassandra, for that matter."

The Queen has to be a character because you need to defeat a real danger without resorting to your sword. And, deep down inside, the guilt you feel over Cassandra is eating away at you, and it needs to be resolved.

"So, how does it end? Do I succeed in defeating my past? And more important, how?"

I'm not sure yet. But you'll be the first to know.

"And what about MacLeod? Richie? Joe? Alexa? Who do they play?"

Give me a break, Methos. I just finished watching the show a couple of hours ago. I don't have all the details sorted out yet. I also need to reread the book so I know what I'm dealing with. I wouldn't want to offer all the Highlander fans a version of Alice in Wonderland that was inaccurate.

"Oh, yeah, and I suppose that making me fill the role of a 10-year-old girl is accurate."

Be nice. You know what I mean.

"Well, get cracking. I'd like to see this story before the end of the century."

Me too. By the way, Methos, I'm glad you've cut your vacation short and come back to me. It's been rather boring here without you.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, get to work."

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Posted March 3, 1999