Elizabeth's rape has helped GH writer Michele Val Jean cope with her own painful past.
Soap Opera Weekly August
The controversial dismissal of Laura Baldwin's rape by her future
husband, Luke Spencer; bothered associate head writer Michele Val Jean years before she joined General Hospital. A rape survivor herself,Val Jean had always longed for closure to the much-dismissed storyline.She is achieving this goal through the story revolving around Elizabeth Webber's recent rape. Before embarking on Elizabeth's horrific ordeal, Val Jean spent hours on the phone with Rebecca Herbst(Elizabeth), sharing the details of her own tragedy. "I told her everything -- all the gory details," Val Jean says. "It was not a pretty story." In the process, writer and actress found themselves bonding deeply. The two women invited SOAP OPERA WEEKLY's West Coast Editor Janet DiLauro to join them as they discussed the poignant
journey they've taken together.
Rebecca Herbst: What gave you the courage to write about something so personal?
Michele Val Jean: I guess it all happened in 1979 when I was a fan of General Hospital, and I saw what happened between Luke and Laura.I knew what I saw was not a seduction, no matter how it got spun later.So I always had the idea in the back of my mind.
RH: So as a writer you have always wanted to do this?
MV: No, I never really thought about it, until it came up in the mix of the show. I was talking to Tony Geary(Luke)on the phone about a way to create a rift between Luke and Lucky. We hung up, and I started thinking, "What if rape were brought into the Spencer house --if Lucky came onto the aftermath of a rape?" From there the story just appeared in my head.
RH: And Elizabeth became the victim.
MV: My original concept was that the rape victim be a day player.It wasn't going to be someone that we knew. I was so into the Spencer story that I didn't want it to become a story about who raped so-and-so. I wanted it to be more than Lucky, Luke and Laura. But(executive producer)Wendy Riche suggested it be one of the Webber girls. Then I started watching you and thought, "She can do it." And you've been doing the hell out of it.
RH: Thank you. It's stuff I really don't know.
MV: I'll throw this out on the table as something to be discussed.I was raped, when I was 12. So, aside from the fact that this particular story with Luke and Laura had historical significance to the show and resonance for the characters, it was also a chance for me to portray what it is like for a girl. I wanted to go through the journey with her of recovering and coming to terms, because that's what is important. For me, it took 34 years to get closure, because I grew up in the '60's on the South Side of Chicago. You didn't have shrinks back then. You just dealt with it, put it behind you, and
moved on.So, writing Liz's rape and all the ways she has felt since has been a way for me to cleanse myself of stuff that's been buried for years.
RH: Were you freaked out by the idea of the story when it popped into your head? Was it scary?
MV: You know when it got scary? When I started writing it. Until then it was an intellectual exercise. When I had to sit down and really go inside Liz, that's when it got scary. The next level of scariness after it was written was I turned in the script. It was like, "OK, Here is all this stuff of mine. I've bled all over it. Now produce it."But then I saw the finished product, and I was so proud.It meant so much to me.I felt like I had taken this experience and owned it, because I had done something with it.
RH: You completed it, and during the process you didn't crumble.
MV: When you were taping it, what was the hardest moments for you?
RH: After Lucky dragged Liz out of the bushes and took her back to his house -- having to deal with playing the aftermath of her ordeal in front of Tony Geary, who is very intimidating as an actor to begin with.I feel very close to Jonathan(Jackson, who plays Lucky).I could be very open with him. But Tony Geary I had only acted with once before. I felt very uncomfortable - not only because of my vulnerability as Liz, but also because of my vulnerability as an actress.
MV: You must have felt very raw.
RH: It was like someone throwing you into the ocean without knowing how to swim. You were on my mind the entire time I taped that.
MV: You were on my mind, too. The day of the taping was strange for me.I was home working on another script. I'd be fine. I'd be
writing. Then I'd look outside the window and cry. I thought about you down at the studio doing it. I thought, "This poor girl! It's like we're asking her to do this, to go to this place." I almost felt guilty.
RH: Did you watch any of it?
MV: Wendy called me after the night it taped and said, "Honey, I don't know if you want to watch it. It's very frightening." But there's no way I wouldn't have watched it. That's part of it for me --watching.
RH: I didn't like watching it. I knew how difficult it was to tape.It had given me a knot in my stomach. I didn't want to go back to that.
MV:The day you taped the rape, were the crew and producers hovering around, trying to take care of you, or did they leave you alone?
RH: They left me alone, but I think it was because they were more
worried about it than I was. I'm the type of person what when I step off the set, I'm Becky, I'm fine. You can come talk to me and ask me questions. As soon as I get on the set and (the stage manager)is counting down, that's when I click in. I don't like to carry my work outside the studio doors. It would be too hard
MV: Do you remember coming to my office after you taped those scenes? You walked in and...
BH: You grabbed me and hugged me.
MV: I was afraid to hurt you. Even though you said you don't carry things with you, was it hard for you the day of taping?
BH: I cried all the way home. I did. There's a part of you that you just can't separate. I try to do it as much as I can, but I did cry the whole way home. A lot of it was exhaustion. I didn't sleep the night before because I was so nervous. A lot of it was seeing my body scratched and bruised, and knowing that I looked so horrible.If you sit and think about it for five minutes you're going to be emotionally drained. It's not something that you want to relive or even think about.That night I went home and slept 14 hours.I was so exhausted. Then I had nightmares for the next week.
MV: Did you?
RH: Yes, and it freaked me out. I didn't tell anybody. I kept having nightmares that I was getting grabbed, because that really happened to me in the scene. It wasn't about rape or anything; it was just being grabbed. It frightened me so much. I thought, "What if these continue?"Because I knew I was going to be dealing with the storyline for quite some time. Luckily, the nightmares went away.
MV: Were people there for you afterward?
RH: I got more hugs and quite a few compliments. Everybody talked to me like it really happened to me, like I was fragile -- was going to cry and break. That went on for the first week after.
MV: What about Jonathan? As Liz, he's your protector, the only person she trusts. Has your relationship with him grown through this story?
RH: Oh, yeah. When I get on the set every morning - as soon as I"m Liz - I just want to be hugged by him. Jonathan and I have really bonded through this whole thing. I really depended on him to help me through it. I think he knew that I was scared to death to act this out, and he was right there with me, just as leery, but still being the man role model.
MV:Is there anything you're really looking forward to playing, or
nervous about playing, as the story unfolds?
RH: I'm looking forward to working with Genie, although I'll be a
little nervous just because it's Genie Francis(Laura). But nothing could be as scary as what I did. Is it still hard for you to write this now as it was for the initial rape?
MV: It was just that initial step that was the hardest part.
RH: I was a little nervous about playing the story. I worried that you might, not fall back into a shell or anything, but...
MV: Bob Guza (GH Head Writer) said to me, "We don't want this to wind up with you curled up in a ball in your bathroom, sobbing. If you ever get to something and you don't want to write it, we'll give it to someone else."
RH: Has there been anything you didn't want to write?
MV: No.
RH: Is there anything you're looking forward to writing?
MV: I'm looking forward to the first time Liz is able to throw it off and really start to come out of this. It's going to take time.I'm also looking forward to Liz falling in love and being happy in love.I suspect that when that happens. I'll get another level of resolution.
RH: What made you decide to talk about this?
MV:I decided there's no reason not to, because I hadn't done
anything wrong. And if some woman who has been raped and feels like she'll never be able to put it behind her stumbles across this interview and hears that it can happen, it might manifest itself into an easier thing.
RH: That's another thing I wanted to tell you. I got so much mail, especially the first two weeks after Liz's rape aired. I got letters from people talking about how they were raped as a child, or that their mother was. A couple of them said that they hadn't talked about it with anybody, but that this storyline has helped them alot.They thanked us for portraying it in a way that was very real to them.They've thought about it and realized that they're OK - the way Liz is OK.She may be hurt and damaged, but she's alive. What about you? Do you feel closure yet?
MV:I feel it. It's not like I was thinking about it all the time.It happened so long ago. But I feel like I've dealt with it, finally, on some level, instead of just going, "OK, now that's over." Talking about it in an open forum like this is a big step.*
