"(Rape) is something you don’t get ever get
over. It is always in the back of your mind.
You learn how to cover it up and get on with
your life, but it doesn’t ever go away."
When Elizabeth Webber was raped on Valentine's Day, she had to deal not only with the act of brutality, but her entire way of
perceiving the world was demolished and had to be rebuilt. Over the past several months, Elizabeth has careened through the stages of a death - the death of her innocence - with the
initial denial, the subsequent anger and the ultimate acceptance.
For her portrayal of a girl whose anguish has propelled her to search for unattainable closure,Soap Opera Magazine names Rebecca Herbst Star of the Week.
Liz's quest for justice reached a head when she went to her teacher Mr. Murty's house to
confront him after months of believing him to be the rapist. Herbst admits that this was the toughest scene for her - connecting to the desire to hurt someone.
"It was really weird to hold a knife to somebody,"she says."I also wasn't sure if Elizabeth would be hysterically crying, or how she would react at this point. But, then I thought, ' No, she's been waiting for so long to confront the rapist, she has rehearsed this so many times in her head, that she'd be strong when the time came.' I was worried, though, that doing it strong could have her coming off psycho, and I didn't want her to look like she belonged in a nut house."
But Liz's ensuing scenes were tempered by her frustration at learning she no longer had a suspect.Later, when she was called in to view a police lineup, Liz had to face the devastating probability that she would never be able to identify her rapist. When she could not identify the suspect, she said little to Lucky, instead internalizing it, so that by the time she reached her house, she could no longer contain her distress.
"I felt very connected to Elizabeth when she trashed her room,'' the actress says." I've been that frustrated before, although I'm not a violent person. Then Elizabeth was lying in her bed, in the same clothing she trashed her room in, with glass everywhere and the room looking like a tornado hit, when Audrey came in and asked her what happened. Elizabeth felt like breaking down and crying,but she knew she didn't have the enerdy to get angry or to try to defend herself. I've been there. I know how it feels to say, 'You know what....I did this, and there is nothing I can do about it."
"Having been there herself," Herbst continues,"Audrey just hugged her, and Liz said, 'They're never going to catch this guy.' It was the first time someone sat her down and said, ' This is out of your hands. God will take care of people who do bad things, it is not really up to man' It was the first time Elizabeth realized that was true. It was a very spiritual thing, and because I'm religious, I really connected with that."
It may have been Liz's first step in letting go, but Herbst knows even at her young age that Liz will never be the same again.
"It's something you don't ever get over," the actress says."It is always in the back of your mind.You learn how to cover it up and get on with your life, but, it doesn't ever go away."
Liz's quest for justice reached a head when she went to her teacher Mr. Murty's house to
confront him after months of believing him to be the rapist. Herbst admits that this was the toughest scene for her - connecting to the desire to hurt someone.