I cried myself to sleep last night, now I feel I am strong enough to continue my story.
The nightmare started when I suddenly felt a shaking under my feet. I stopped kissing Jack and asked him if he felt it. Jack grabbed me as I saw large chunks of what I thought were rock, crash onto the deck barely missing me. I told Jack to look and pointed to the massive mountain in front of me. Jack said my god Rose it's an iceberg the ship must have hit it!
He rushed toward the side of the ship and I followed him. He looked up and down the side as if searching for something. I asked Jack if we were okay and he said he thought we would be fine because he did not see any damage. There were a few people on deck kicking chunks of ice around and I picked up a piece and playfully put it down Jack's shirt. He jumped and turned to me smiling saying now he would have to throw me overboard. I squealed as Jack chased me to a gate that was locked. Climbing over the gate, I heard two ship's officers say something to the captain about pumps and flooding. Jack whispered to me that this was bad. My heart skipped a beat, I was becoming frightened, and asked Jack to take me to my stateroom. I turned to him and told him we should warn mother and Cal.
I held onto Jack's hand tightly as we returned to my stateroom. At the entrance, Lovejoy was standing there and he told me they had been expecting us. Inside there was Cal and mother and some other men and everyone was staring at us. Cal then spoke and said something about two things being dear to him and now once one has returned he knows where the other might be found. I demanded to know what was going on and told him that we had an emergency.
Then Cal said search him. Two men grabbed Jack and one of them took something out of his pocket. I was astonished when I saw what was inside. It was the Heart of the Ocean. I looked right at Jack and he told me this was horse shit. I turned to Cal and said Jack was with me all the time he could not have taken it. Cal said a professional thief could have taken it easily.
My mind was confused as I tried to recall the past recent events when Jack could have even taken the necklace but I could not come up with anything. Cal whispered to me that maybe he took it while I was putting my clothes back on. My mind went back to when I was changing but Jack had already locked the safe before I went to change. I saw him do it. I looked at Jack again; deeply hurt and betrayed wanting to believe him as the chief petty officer led him away in handcuffs. He shouted back to me that he did not do it.
Mother gave me a look of disappointment as she left the room. Then the room was empty except for Cal and I. He glared at me and was about ready to say something then he slapped me. My eyes began to tear because of the pain. It was completely unexpected. Cal had never slapped me during our entire courtship. He grabbed me roughly and said it is the slut isn't it? I was seeing a side of Cal I had never seen before and it frightened me. I did not answer him, and He grabbed me again and fiercely spoke, Speak to me you little, and I closed my eyes and turned my face expecting Cal to hit me again.
Then the door opened and a steward told us to go out to the boat deck. Cal angrily shouted that he was busy but the steward told Cal he apologized but it was the captain's orders. He pulled down our life belts and saw that I had been crying. I guess he thought he had upset me and tried to comfort me. Cal said this was ridiculous as he gathered up the jackets. He tossed mine towards me. Angrily he said to me, get moving, I will deal with you later slut. Then he roughly shoved me out the door.
All the way to the boat deck, Cal was cursing and complaining while I walked in stunned silence. There was a large crowd of people gathered inside all of them wearing life belts over their clothing. I can remember that the band was playing music above the noise of the crowd.
Then Mr. Andrews passed me by and his face looked like he had seen a ghost. I grabbed his arm and told him, I can see it in your eyes. I saw the iceberg. Please tell me the truth. My mind could not accept what he told me then. The ship would sink. Stunned I asked him if he were sure. He said yes and that it would be only a couple of hours before all this was at the bottom of the Atlantic.
He said to quickly get to a boat and not cause a panic. He looked at me and said you remember what I told you about the boats. How could I forget? There were not enough and a lot of people were going to die! I told him I understood. I looked at Cal. It was finally becoming clear to him what was happening. For the first time I saw fright in his eyes.
On the boat deck, crewmen were busily loading people into lifeboats. Shouting women and children only. Suddenly there was a loud hissing noise and I saw an emergency rocket shoot up from the ship's deck and explode above me high in the night sky. My God I thought, we really are sinking.
We approached a boat and Molly motions mother to come aboard. Mother paused a moment and what she said shocked me. She wanted to know if the boats would be seated according to class. I was so appalled that she was thinking only of herself that I angrily told her to shut up. I told her, the water was freezing and there were not enough boats. Half of the people on the ship were going to die.
I was about to tell her how selfish her last remark was when Cal interrupted me and told me not the better half. He was as bad as mother and I looked at him in disbelief. He then told me. Pity I didn't keep that drawing. It's going to be worth a lot more by morning. I knew what he was referring to. An artist's work becomes more valuable after he is dead. He was referring to Jack. My eyes filled with contempt as I told him he was an unimaginable bastard. I turned towards mother and told her goodbye and started walking away from her.
My words shocked and angered Cal as he tried to keep me from leaving. Grabbing me roughly he snarled, where are you going to him is that it. To be a whore to that gutter rat? I looked into his cold eyes and told him I would rather be his whore than his wife. Any feelings I had left for Cal died at that moment. His heart was cold like the freezing water that was sinking us. I struggled to break away from him, but his grip was strong. In a desperate attempt to free myself, I spit right in his face. He pulled back in surprise and I broke free losing myself in the crowd.
Jack had saved my life and I just could not leave him to die. I ran back to the first class entrance and down the corridor. Turning a corner, I spotted Mr. Andrews warning people to leave. I asked him to help me find Jack, but he told me I needed to get to the boats before it was too late. I told him I would do this with or without his help. He gave me directions to where they were holding Jack and I repeatedly went over them in my head so I would not forget.
I approached the elevator but the operator told me that the lift was closed. I was fed up with all the frustration I was encountering and I pushed the operator back into the lift and cursed him, demanding he take me down. He complied and when we arrived at E-Deck, the elevator doors opened and I screamed in pain and surprise as ice cold water rushed in up to my knees.
The thing I vividly remember most about Titanic sinking was the painfully cold water. I will never forget it as long as I live. The pain cannot adequately be described in words. It sort of burned like fire, yet it numbed me to the very bone. It was painful to even breathe. Jack said it best when he told me it felt like a thousand knifes striking all over your body. I would not wish this pain on my worst enemy.
The operator quickly went back up, leaving me alone. Following the directions that Mr. Andrews had given me, I shouted for Jack. He heard me and called out my name. I turned back towards the sound trying to ignore the pain from the water I was wading through. I found him in a small room and as soon as I saw him, I ran and kissed him. He told me that Lovejoy had put the necklace in his pocket.
Jack would never betray me, I told him I knew. I was horrified, Jack was shackled to a pipe and they had left him to drown. I began to search for the key, but it was nowhere to be found. In despair I looked at Jack and he calmly told me to go and get help. I kissed him and said I would be back.
Making my way through the corridor, I spotted a stairway leading up to the next level. A man came running past me but when I asked for help, he just ignored me. He had a look of fear in his eye and was speaking in a foreign language. Then the lights went out, I heard the groans of the ship in the darkness and my heart began beating wildly in my chest. I was breaking out into a cold sweat, thinking I was going to die then in a cold dark tomb. and wanted to scream when the lights came back on. Since childhood I have been terrified of dark closed spaces.
My hopes brightened as I saw a steward coming towards me. I told him about my predicament and asked him to help me. He told me to follow him and that every thing would be all right. He grabbed my hand and started pulling me with him. I told him he was going the wrong way but he would not listen. Knowing that there was very little time left, I had to do something or Jack would drown. I shouted at the steward and when he turned around, I hit him right in the nose. He dropped my hand and said the hell with you and then he left. I was alone once more then I spotted a fire axe on the wall. Smashing the glass, I took the axe and retraced my steps.
Climbing back down to E-Deck, I saw that the water was almost to the top of the stairs. I waded in up to my waist, cringing in pain from the icy sting barely feeling my body but I told myself that I must save Jack or I would die trying.
When I got back to where Jack was I showed him the axe asking if this would work. He told me to take a couple of practice swings first. Lifting the axe, I brought it down cutting into the cabinet in front of me. The second blow went high and missed my mark. Jack said that was enough practice. He kept his sense of humor even at a time like this. I would have been in hysterics. Jack put his wrists out as far as the handcuffs would allow him and said he trusted me and to hit it hard and fast. Closing my eyes, I said a silent prayer and brought the axe down expecting Jack to scream in pain because the axe had cut off his hands, but instead I heard a shout of joy. I had done it. I had freed Jack!
Jack followed me out into the corridor but the rising water blocked the exit to D-Deck. We followed another corridor, which led to a door, but it was locked. On the other side, we could hear voices. Jack told me we would make our own exit and began kicking at the door.
I asked him why they left him locked to that pipe? He told me that Lovejoy had taken the key. I replied that Lovejoy took his orders from Cal and now I knew what Cal had meant earlier. Jack asked me to explain and I told him what Cal said about how the drawing would be worth more in the morning. Jack smiled and said Cal would be disappointed because he was still living thanks to me.
I started to cry and Jack stopped kicking to ask me what was wrong? I told him Cal had destroyed the drawing and apologized to him for causing him so much trouble. He kissed me on the cheek and told me that never at any time was I trouble for him. Then he held me and said he would do another drawing better than the first but now we needed to concentrate on getting off the ship. I thanked Jack and kissed him saying, You are a true friend Jack, you really are. Then Jack broke through the door to the hallway on the other side.
A steward saw us and to my amazement actually chided us for destroying ship's property. We were trying to save our lives and all he could think of was property destruction! Jack and I both told him to shut up and he just stood there with his mouth open.
We joined a group of passengers trying to make their way to the boats but to my shock, all the gates leading to the upper decks were locked. We were locked down there like animals in cages. I was appalled that they were treating the passengers this way. Jack saw Tommy and Fabrizio and went to hug them. They told Jack all the gates were locked, but Jack was determined to find a way out. We approached another stair well, but another steward told us to go back the way we came.
Jack was furious; He cursed at him and grabbed a bench that was bolted down to the floor. Tommy and Fabrizio assisted Jack and soon they had ripped the bench from the floor. I understood what they had in mind and told the crowd to move aside. They used the bench as a battering ram to break down the gate. Jack took my hand as the crowd surged forward to freedom. I was feeling so angry with the impertinent steward that I went up to him and boldly threatened him with his job if he did not escort those poor people to the boat deck. He became very accommodating after that.
Death of Titanic