Falling from Grace 15/16

by Christina, kenobijedione@yahoo.com

Rating: this chapter PG

Warnings, disclaimers, etc. in part 1

Chapter 15: Life on Salliaf

The lush green planet of Salliaf had greeted the four weary travelers like a cool glass of water after many days in the unforgiving sun. They'd spent nearly a week on the sparsely populated, lush planet, the mood between the four progressively getting worse.

Kalyia was still sick, spending most days beneath a tree near their hut, reading or sleeping. Her fever broke and rose again, seeming to worsen each night and cool each morning. No relief was found from her pounding headaches and frequent dizzy spells except for the occasional hand of Obi-Wan or Anakin, sending calming tendrils of the Force into her body. Prince Daman was attentive to the Princess, almost smotheringly so, and the Jedi stayed a respectable distance from the betrothed couple whenever they were together.

Anakin had told Obi-Wan the news soon before they landed on Salliaf, and Obi-Wan had taken it with measured calm. He was undoubtedly furious inside, but did a fine job of hiding it, at least in the presence of others. Anakin did not know whether he meditated or punched rocks when he was alone, and he supposed it didn't matter--there was nothing that could be done now.

The Jedi Knight's love for the girl was still obvious, his concern and respect showing mostly in his care of her headaches, his unselfish giving of his Force energy anytime she needed it to calm a raging head storm. She, in turn, behaved as loving, respectful and enamored with him, and Anakin knew it sent his Master into tumbling confusion, until he broke away and stayed away, sometimes for many many hours. The younger Jedi wanted to ask his friend the Princess about her strange behavior, whether or not she was in love with one man and engaged to be wed to another, but he held his tongue, deciding that stirring the tide of emotion was probably not the best idea at this point in their hide out.

The Council requested that both Obi-Wan and Anakin remain on Salliaf until they uncovered the identity of the Sith ruler. Almost all of the Jedi Knights were encapsulated in this mission one way or another, hunting Sith and eliminating them, always efforting first to reveal the Darkest Lord.

Waiting was something none of them seemed good at, and on the fifth day, emotions were running so high, all four had separated into the forest.

***

Kalyia sunk to her knees, unable to walk any farther with the torment in her head. She dipped her fingers into the clear water of a rushing stream and brought their wet tips up to her forehead, allowing its coolness to soothe the pain away. Every day she seemed to get more ill. Each morning she slept a little later, and each night she retired to bed a little earlier. Soon, she'd be confined to bed for the majority of the day. Frustration crept over her at the mere thought of this unexplained illness. Nothing seemed to precede it; suddenly it had just been there. Now, neither she, medic, nor Jedi could identify or treat it. Only occasional relief from the pain from Obi-Wan or Anakin granted her reprieve.

The thought of Obi-Wan made Kalyia's heart sink into her stomach. She was trying so hard to keep her emotions in check. Outwardly, she supposed, she was doing a fine job. But inside, a turmoil more ferocious than her headaches raged. If she didn't get away from him soon, it would be too late.

Or perhaps it already was. She was in love with him--there was no one or nothing that could stop it. Sighing, Kalyia wondered if she'd ever make peace with her heart. Would she love a man forever that she could not have?

"There you are!" Daman called, relief flooding his voice. He approached and Kalyia looked up and smiled.

Standing amongst the thick brush she'd crawled through to find this secret spot, and the way the sun was filtering through it's branches created a halo of sorts around his head. Kalyia considered. As much as Daman seemed to care for her, and as much as she'd welcome feelings of love for him, they just weren't there. It was something distinct about him that separated him from the calm and grace that was Obi-Wan. Kalyia couldn't put her finger on it, but she felt it--strongly. No, she wasn't going to ever be in love with Daman, no matter how much she wished she could.

"I just needed to get away for a while," she explained, trying to hide the pain that would surely show across her features if she allowed it.

The Princess was surprised to see the Prince frown. "Because Kenobi has been there all day--that's it isn't it?" he asked, accusation in his tone.

Kalyia was surprised. She didn't know where that had come from, and didn't particularly want to deal with it now. Of course, the Prince was right. Obi-Wan's presence had become overwhelming for her, bringing thick emotion to her throat each time he spoke a tender word or eased her pain with his touch. It was becoming unbearable. Something, Kalyia felt, would give soon. She hoped it wasn't her dignity--or her sanity.

Anger flashed in her green eyes. She tilted her chin up, indignant. "I grow weary of being cooped up in that hut all day," she informed the Prince. "I wanted some air, some privacy."

There was no mistaking the hints in her last words. Frankly, the Prince had become suffocating, and it was possibly time he knew it. If he did pick up on it, he didn't let on. Instead, Daman kneeled in the grass and sighed. "Yes, of course, Princess," he amended, gazing at her with sad eyes.

Kalyia swallowed hard.

"You are getting sicker by the day," he stated needlessly. The concern was evident in his voice. "Although there are medics here to care for you, you are not healing. I think it is high time the Jedi do what they say they are trying to do--protect you--and get you back to Coruscant."

Kalyia's eyes widened. She said nothing.

"You can be guarded day and night, whatever it takes--but you must be allowed to heal in surroundings you are comfortable in. With your mother and those that love you at your side."

The Prince was finally silent. Kalyia considered his words. Finally, she shook her head.

"It's too dangerous for everyone at the Palace, and the entire city," she argued. "They had no qualms about attacking Courscant the night of Anakin's Knighthood celebration. They will have no qualms about attacking it again," she reasoned.

Daman considered this, tilting his head. Kalyia thought she saw reason flicker into his eyes, but it disappeared as quickly as it had surfaced. Running a large hand across the smooth carpet of grass beneath him, the Prince thought for a moment. He moved his hand up to his blaster, then eyed Kalyia's tiny blaster that was holstered to her thigh.

"Do you have every confidence that if these dark Sith come for you here, you will not be harmed?" he asked.

Kalyia followed his eyes to their respective weapons and bit her bottom lip. She trusted Obi-Wan and Anakin faithfully. She nodded. "Yes."

Daman chuckled mirthlessly. "Of course," he muttered. His eyes darkened and he shook his head. "So young and naive, little Princess. The Jedi are great warriors, that is not disputed. However, they are oftentimes too congenial, I fear that they miss things that should be plain to see."

Kalyia narrowed her eyes. Where was this coming from? "What do you mean?" she asked cautiously.

The Prince shook his head. "Never mind," he avoided, lowering his eyes once again to the lush grass below him. "You trust Kenobi and Skywalker with your life. I just do not trust them with mine."

Anger flowed through the girl. She wasn't sure why, but she felt betrayed. Prince Daman had no reason to hold this conversation with her. It was none of his business. He had been free to return to Alderaan whenever he pleased. Kalyia had often wondered why he hadn't. Yes, the route back would be a tiresome one. While it was already a six day journey from Alderaan to Salliaf in hyperspeed, he would have to take an alternate route, flying from one galaxy to the other on sublight engines so that he would not be identified and followed. All in all, the return journey would take eighteen days. Kalyia figured though, that if she was given the choice, she'd probably take it. Eighteen days or not.

"You don't have to trust them," she countered. "You can leave. You know this, yet you stay. Why?"

The Prince eyed the girl coolly. He waited a few moments, then spoke. "I am here to be near you, my Princess," he said smoothly.

"I am not your Princess," Kalyia moaned. "I am the Princess to the people of Courscant. That includes the Jedi. I am their Princess." She took a sort of perverse pleasure in knocking the Prince down a notch with the ability to include the Jedi in the list of people she was to serve as royalty. Its effects could be seen in the Prince's face.

"Kenobi says jump, you say how high?" he spat. "You serve him, as though he were the royalty and you were the peasant. Why is that, Kalyia? You futilely insist that you are unlike your mother in that you do not find yourself revering Jedi. But the difference between you, I don't see. Your adoration of both Skywalker and Kenobi baffles me. Do you care to explain why you would hand them the moon and the stars should they ask?"

Kalyia's eyes widened at the Prince's fiery accusations. She hadn't realized that she'd been so transparent in her feelings for Obi-Wan. Her friendship with Anakin was no secret. She did not desire to hide her respect and care for the boy. That the Prince had seen it was not surprising. But Obi-Wan--she'd been so careful to hide her emotions even from herself. Had she been that easy to read? If the Prince saw it, did Obi-Wan himself see it too? Flustered, the girl cleared her throat. She fought to ignore the growing throbbing between her temples. It was difficult, and tears sprung to the corners of her eyes.

"Neither Kenobi nor Skywalker ask much of me," she said softly, unable to argue as fiercely as she wanted. Her body would not allow it. Energy was flowing from her quickly, and soon she would require the Prince's help in returning to her quarters.

"Except for your blind faith," Daman snickered, oblivious to the pain the girl before him was in.

She squeezed her eyes shut, forcing herself to calm. Unfortunately she was not able to recede the pain as she'd seen the Jedi do time and time again. It simply remained, pounding

relentlessly in her head, a fearful and constant reminder that something was terribly wrong with her.

"How can you not trust someone who is willing to give their life for you?" she asked.

The Prince shook his head sadly, as though he felt sorry for the Princess. "The Jedi talk a good game, but when it comes down to it, it is never the Jedi who perish in battle."

"You are talking about something you know nothing about," she spat. Her words were strangled, but she struggled to remain in control. "Whatever trust I give Anakin and Obi-Wan," she paused, then laughed softly. "Especially poor Obi-Wan, they have earned. And when they've broken that faith, they have worked for it back. I have a history with Kenobi that you can't even begin to comprehend. But let me assure you, Prince, that I have no reason to doubt his loyalty." She paused, breath coming in short gasps. "He has done, time and time again, anything that I asked of him. And I the same. It's called friendship. Maybe one day, when you grow up, you'll know what it's like to love and serve a friend with your life."

Kalyia ignored the stabbing pains in her head and forced herself to her feet. She rushed through the thick brush toward the living quarters, commanding herself not to topple over before she got there.

***

Obi-Wan sighed and lowered his lightsaber. He stared at the blue light for a moment before switching the weapon off. It was useless. He'd tried meditation and practice exercises to get the Princess out of his mind but none of it was working today. She'd wandered off earlier on her own, and he'd contemplated on whether it was wise to allow her to do it. Unfortunately, when he'd voiced this concern in the hut, the Prince had graciously volunteered to find his lovely fiancée.

Obi-Wan wanted to be sick at the mere thought of the two of them alone. Did the Prince hold her in his arms and whisper words of love into her ear as Obi-Wan used to? Did he comfort her pain with his soothing touch and kiss the tears from her cheeks as Obi-Wan used to? Did he lose himself in her, in their love, and use their passion to take any problems away as Obi-Wan used to? Were they making love right now, using the soft mossy ground as their bed, the forest as their shield from everything else, the rustling leaves and soft breeze carrying their cries of pleasure?

The Jedi shook his head. He gasped at the pain that whipped through him at these cruel thoughts. Why was he torturing himself? He needed to move on. He could use the Force to guide him, but somehow, couldn't bring himself to let go. Not right now. Not yet. There was something holding him back; something keeping him in this precarious balance between sanity and complete madness. Something that kept him loving the Princess of Courscant, wanting the Princess of Courscant, needing the Princess of Courscant, beyond all rational thought.

"Master, the medics would like us to join them in the lab."

Anakin's voice brought Obi-Wan tumbling out of his revere. The Jedi turned slightly and regarded his former apprentice.

"What is it?"

Anakin shrugged. "I think it has to do with Kalyia. They took another blood sample just before she left for her walk."

Obi-Wan nodded briskly and turned toward the quarters. Anakin followed at a close gait. The medics had been here for nearly a week, attending to the Princess and desperately trying to determine what was wrong. So far, they'd come up with several options, however, the medication had done little or nothing to heal her. And so they'd start again, from square one, working nearly round the clock to heal the Princess.

All four medics were gathered around a computer monitor when the Jedi entered the sterile lab. One stood, Dr. Morrow, and ushered the Jedi inside.

"Jedi Kenobi, Jedi Skywalker, thank you for coming. Dr. Cha'Tam has noticed an unusual occurrence between the daily samples taken of Princess Kalyia's blood."

Obi-Wan nodded impatiently, staring at the screen that seemed to hold so much information, yet not being able to make sense of any of it. "What is it?" he asked.

"Every day her white blood cell count is lower. She seems to be losing iron and antioxidants quickly. Which, in most humans, would cause headaches, nausea, dizzy spells--"

"All of which she has," Anakin interrupted.

The doctor nodded. "As she loses more white blood cells, the symptoms would grow increasingly severe, as they have been day to day."

"Why is she losing white blood cells?" Obi-Wan asked, his brow furrowing in thought.

The doctor hesitated. "It could be one or more of a series of reasons. Stress would be the main cause. Lack of nutrients could be another, or a severe illness which is causing her body to deteriorate slowly."

Anakin looked at Obi-Wan. The Jedi seemed to be deep in thought as he stared at the monitor in front of him. Finally, he stood, his hands clasping onto the back of the nearest chair. He nodded slowly, as though coming to a decision in his mind.

"I think it is safe to assume that stress is most likely the cause," he said, looking from Anakin to Dr. Morrow. "If these headaches started on the transport from Tatooine here, that is when the crux of the danger to the Princess became known."

Anakin nodded in agreement. The doctor merely listened. After a moment, the Jedi continued.

"Anakin and I will begin relaxation exercises with her immediately. We'll have her blood retested in several day's time to determine whether stress is indeed the cause."

The doctor nodded. He bowed slightly. "We'll await further instruction. In the meantime, if we discover anything else, I will notify you, Jedi Kenobi."

Obi-Wan nodded in thanks. "Thank you," he said softly, heading to the door of the lab and indicating Anakin to follow him.

Once outside, Obi-Wan released a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. He leaned against the cool stone wall of the large hut and closed his eyes. Anakin paced slowly in front of his former Master, then finally stopped, his hands clasping themselves in front of him automatically. He looked down at them, as if wondering why they did that, then shook his head, addressing Obi-Wan.

"You're worried."

It wasn't a question. Obi-Wan nodded, his eyes remaining closed. Anakin waited for the other Jedi to speak, but when he didn't the boy sucked in a breath and slowly blew it out. He looked around, studying the tropical environment around them. He wondered why this planet had not been inhabited for some time. Obi-Wan had told him that there had been a battle here long ago. Before his time as a Jedi, during the time that Master Qui-Gon had been a Padawan. Since then, the entire planet was pretty much deserted, only used for occasional training practices for Jedi. It was under Senate control, therefore should be virtually unknown to anyone against the Republic.

Unless the Lord that controls the Dark Side resides in the light before the Jedi.

Anakin shook his head. He had no idea what brought that ominous thought on. He turned his attention back to Obi-Wan, struck by the utter sadness that crossed his friend's face. Anakin cleared his throat.

"Master Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan looked at him, blinked his bleary eyes, but did not speak.

"Master, I feel that toward the end of my apprenticeship, we behaved more as friends than Master and Padawan. Do you agree?"

Obi -Wan nodded. "Yes, Anakin. It did seem that way most times."

Anakin smiled tentatively. "Then I would hope that when something plagues your mind as it seems to now, you would trust me enough to speak to me about it, if you choose."

"I do, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, his voice betraying his hesitation. Anakin and Kalyia were wonderful friends, and Obi-Wan never wanted to be cause for any tension between them. He knew that the Princess trusted Anakin implicitly, never would Obi-Wan want to hinder that blind trust.

"Then talk to me, Master," Anakin begged. "You mustn't feel that just because it concerns Kalyia that I cannot be trusted."

Obi-Wan chuckled. "First of all, Padawan, I always trust you."

If Obi-Wan realized his mistake in the term for his former apprentice, he did not mention it. Anakin suspected he did not even realize the slip. Anakin didn't mind in the least, in a sense it made him feel a little closer to his Master. When two lost their Padawan-Master connection, it could be devastating. While a Padawan graduating into Knighthood was an honorable feat, and cause for celebration, it meant that both Knights were now expected to take on new Padawans, therefore engage in separate missions, and likely only see each other in the rare times they are both at the Temple consecutively. The separation hadn't happened yet, Anakin realized, only because of this unexpected mission regarding the Princess of Courscant.

"Secondly," Obi-Wan continued, "how are you so sure my discomfort has to do with the Princess?"

The question was futile, as Anakin was more than sure that Obi-Wan's discomfort centered around his feelings for the Princess. Feelings he was sure weren't reciprocated. Feelings, Anakin could tell, were indeed returned. The Princess and his former Master simply needed a push in each other's direction to know that the other still allowed their heart to the other.

Anakin simply laughed. "What else would it be, Master?" he asked. "She is, after all, the reason for this mission."

Obi-Wan nodded slowly. "Perhaps she is," he muttered distractedly. He closed his eyes, allowing the Force to flow through him, an idea taking shape in his head. He allowed it to come clear, then spoke. "I wonder if Kalyia would be safe in her home if I was just not present," he ventured, ignoring the surprised, then doubtful look from his former Padawan. He continued, undeterred. "If I were on a public mission, if my presence were known somewhere far from Courscant, perhaps the Dark Side would not feel threatened by her." He paused, then added as an afterthought, "As she was safe while we were fighting the Clone Wars."

Anakin watched his Master for a long while, his own ideas taking shape in his head. "It makes no sense, Master," he finally said. "Kalyia is exposed to all Jedi all the time. The Queen funds the Jedi Academy. If not you, it could be another Jedi. And if not the Princess, it could be another girl. I do not understand the Dark Side's quest to capture her."

Obi-Wan shook his head. What Anakin said made sense. Why Kalyia? Jedi didn't often engage in marriage, but some did, and even more often than that, Jedi created children to carry on the legacy. It was not considered a disgrace for a Jedi to plant his seed in a woman he deemed worthy even if he wasn't in love with her. It was perpetuation of the Jedi Order, a far greater purpose.

"You're right, Padawan," Obi-Wan agreed. Another slip. He didn't correct himself. "Reasons must stretch farther than her ability to perpetuate the Order. Perhaps her capture would deface the Jedi reputation. After all, it's only been attempted in our presence. Causing tension between the Queen and the Council could weaken the Order."

Anakin furrowed his brow. "Perhaps," he said slowly, unconvinced. "If that is the case, Sena's death was executed purposely. To cause distrust between the Princess and ---"

The younger Jedi trailed off, meeting his friend's startled gaze. Obi-Wan exhaled, a word traveling on his breath as he did so. "Me." He quickly said another word, looking over at his counterpart. "You."

There was no time to discuss the topic further as the Princess stumbled out of the foliage, a groan escaping her lips as she collapsed at the Jedi's feet. Anakin and Obi-Wan knelt, the younger Jedi pushing the girl's hair from her face. She blinked wearily at them.

"Kalyia what happened?" Anakin asked. "Are you hurt?"

"I just--" she squeezed her eyes shut and grimaced in pain. She was dangerously close to passing out from the anguish. Her stomach lurched and she moaned again. "I need to lay down," she whispered.

Obi-Wan moved next to Anakin and easily scooped the girl into his arms. He was alarmed at how light she'd become. Without a word, he turned and carried the barely conscious girl into the hut. Slipping into her sleeping quarters the Jedi laid Kalyia on the bed and immediately sent a healing tendril of the force to her. She relaxed almost instantly under his touch. As the pain slightly receded, Kalyia was able to open her eyes, squinting against the artificial light in the room. Obi-Wan used the Force once again, and they immediately dimmed. When he turned back to the Princess, she looked infinitely more comfortable.

"What happened?" Anakin asked softly, appearing behind his former Master.

Kalyia's eyes traveled to the younger Jedi and she sighed. She was about to explain, but decided that the tension between Daman and the Jedi was high enough already. There was no need to escalate it. Instead, she shook her head, a much more pleasant task now that Obi-Wan had healed her. Anakin narrowed his eyes and the Princess realized he was reading into her mind. Quickly, she slammed up a wall, but it was too late. She glared at him as he spoke.

"You had a fight with the Prince," he stated, more to Obi-Wan than to the girl. She knew what had happened. She was mad now that he knew. But Anakin didn't care. The Prince was an idiot if he thought picking fights with her in this condition was actually going to help her. A noise in the entryway to the hut grabbed their attention. In an instant, Anakin was on his feet and out the door of Kalyia's sleeping quarters. She instinctively reached a hand out to stop him, but only connected with a fistful of Obi-Wan's light tunic.

"It's okay," Obi-Wan said softly, dipping his head and watching the hand that gripped his clothing. She seemed agitated, moreso than she should be at a simple fight with her--he couldn't even bring himself to think it. Lover? Fiancée? Husband-to-be? Somehow none of those terms made him feel any better. Instead, he lifted his hand and closed it gently over her fist, unlacing it from his tunic. Keeping her tiny fingers curled together in his, the two intertwined hands settled on the mattress between them. Neither pulled away.

"The medics found something in your blood," Obi-Wan revealed, his eyes traveling back to the girl's beautiful face. She was still flushed from her frantic run, her skin carrying a slight coating of sweat. Obi-Wan lifted his other hand and brushed her hair away from her forehead. "Your white blood cell count drops every day. It's the cause of your headaches and nausea."

Kalyia nodded. "What do we do to stop it?"

"It's caused by high levels of stress. Anakin and I will work with you to teach you Jedi relaxation exercises. We'll show you how to meditate, how to access the Force and use it to your advantage. It may help your headaches to stop, and when you do get headaches, you may be able to calm them yourself, if you use it right."

Kalyia watched the Jedi with interest. She studied his face: his strong jaw, the small mole on his left cheek, the cleft in his chin. All features she'd known before, features she'd traced with her fingers while he slept on her pillows in the morning, features she'd struggled to memorize in the falling dusk and the rising dawn. Features she could never forget for they were etched in her mind forever, yet she looked at his face each time with new wonderment, like she might find something she'd never seen before. And she did, this time. She found sadness so deep in his eyes it nearly suffocated her.

His eyes had always been deep, filled with more emotions than she could decipher at once. But the hurt in the blue depths this time was so pronounced, there was no way to miss it. She felt her own sorrow well up in the form of tears in her eyes, and a lump in her throat. She didn't bother to hold back either emotion.

"You're so sad," she whispered, the news of her medical condition completely forgotten. A hand raised, seemingly of it's own volition, and she stroked his cheek, almost thoughtfully.

Obi-Wan flinched away from her, not because he wanted to but merely as a reflexive instinct, protection from her penetrating the careful barriers he'd built around his heart. Keeping her from touching his face was futile, because she could break down those barriers with a single word, a look, a tear, a laugh. any time he spent in her presence broke them down slowly, brick by brick, and by now, the shields were virtually non-existent.

Kalyia didn't let the small gesture unnerve her, she simply moved her hand with his face, her palm pressed into his cheek. "Obi-Wan--" she whispered softly, practically begging for his attention.

The Jedi Knight looked up finally, connecting his eyes with hers. He swallowed hard at the deep pools of green, moist with unshed tears. He didn't speak, only opened himself up to her: his mind, his heart, his soul.

"I'm so sorry about the past year," she whispered, closing her eyes briefly as though it pained her to think of it. "I'm not going to make excuses, Obi-Wan, because there are none. I needed time to grieve my friend and I thought without you was the way to do it."

Obi-Wan shook his head. She didn't owe him any apologies or explanations and it pained him that she thought she did. Instead of allowing her to finish, he pressed a finger to her lips.

"Not now," he commanded softly. "Just rest, okay? We'll start your training when you awaken."

Kalyia was about to protest, but she felt an overwhelming sleepiness in her body. She knew Obi-Wan was using the Force to put her to sleep, but at this point she didn't care. She needed rest, that much was evident. Closing her eyes, she took comfort in the Jedi's close presence as she felt herself drift into darkness.