Love’s Fate

By DarthSolo

Copyright 1998

Han Solo struggled under the weight of the large trunk. Halfway down the ramp of the Falcon, he unceremoniously dropped his heavy cargo in order to gain a better hold on it. Wiping beads of sweat from his brow, he studied the object thoughtfully in an attempt to find a better way to carry it.

"Why won’t you just let me help you?" came an irritated voice from behind him. Leia descended the ramp, clutching a half-dozen smaller items.

"Why won’t you just leave me alone!" Solo replied.

Leia huffed past him, deliberately shoving him with her left shoulder in retaliation. "Fine. You can do all the explaining to General Riekan when he asks why our mission will be delayed for a week while you recover from a back injury." Leia’s comments only served to irk Solo’s waning patience.

"General Riekan would agree with me, your worship." She spun around and shot him a dirty look. With her anger quickly rising, she shouted at him.

"I told you to stop calling me that!"

He gave her a licentious grin and a wink, "sorry sweetheart."

Her reaction was immediate as her face flushed with rage. She threw the packages in her arms to his feet and glared at him. In a loud and disdainful voice she said, "Captain Solo, you are the most brazen, pigheaded man I have ever…." she paused; not wanting her outburst to be overheard by any passersby. She moved close to him and in a controlled but still angry whisper she continued. "I swear this is the last mission I will ever go on with you!" Han looked at her with mock indignation. "In fact, Captain nerfherder, why don’t you just finish this damn mission by yourself!"

Solo’s jaw dropped in disbelief as he watched her quickly descend the ramp and disappear into the space port lobby. He rolled his eyes to the heavens, asking himself why in the name of Corellia he was still with the rebellion. Neither of them had been aware of the tall stranger who had been looming in the shadows, watching them with great interest. Solo shook off the argument and went back to his problematic trunk. After a few moments he dragged the heavy trunk back up the ramp and secured the Falcon’s hatch. He returned several minutes later with a port droid in tow. Fetching a port droid to carry in their belongings, he admitted, was a hell of a lot easier than trying to carry the stuff all by himself. Maybe he should try to be a little less "pigheaded", as her worshipfulness had put it. A large grin appeared on his face as he recalled how a simple wink and grin had sparked such an emotional response from her. Nah, this is too much fun, he resolved. There was something uniquely satisfying in his tumultuous and conflicted relationship with the Princess.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Still fuming, Leia checked into the hotel and headed straight for their room. She found it difficult to remain upset for long, as the opulent beauty of the hotel’s interiors quickly worked to calm her. The hotel staff had left a wonderfully eye catching arrangement of lilies in their room. She went over to them and drew in a long fragrant breath. They were Alderaanian lilies, the most prized in the entire galaxy. It made her sad to think of her home planet, destroyed by the Empire. She admired the flowers and realized that even if her world was gone, it was not forgotten. She sat down on the couch and tried to relax, wondering how Riekan had managed to talk her into this mission. She and Han had done almost nothing but argue with each other since the very day they met. He was an excellent pilot and had without question the fastest ship in the galaxy. He was also stubborn, cocky, overly confident, fearless and completely full of himself. There was also no one else who could infuriate her as easily or as thoroughly. She took a quick shower and changed her clothes, donning a locally popular dress, which was form fitting but comfortable. She wanted to avoid drawing too much attention to herself and dressing as a local instead of an off-worlder would help. Exhausted from their long trip and constant arguing with the good Captain, she flung herself on the couch and soon drifted off to sleep.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Captain Solo?" A young space port officer handed Solo his registration. "You’re all set here. I’ve checked in your ship and cleared your stay."

"Thank you." Solo replied, stuffing the papers into his coat pocket. The officer pointed to the port droid fitted with a dolly, which carried the trunk and other items they brought with them for this trip.

"Just punch in your room number and the droid will bring up your belongings," the officer instructed. "Enjoy your visit to Jantel," he said, then left to help a newly arrived ship check in.

Han grimaced; knowing an enjoyable visit was all but wishful thinking on this trip. If only you knew, he thought. Haides watched the exchange and almost panicked when Solo began to look around, his focus rapidly approaching his own location.

Haides quickly got the attention of a nearby port officer and asked him for directions to the local registrar’s office. After a few moments, he risked a quick glance over the officer’s shoulder as he gave directions Haides had no real use for. Solo was busy at the controls of his port droid. He sighed with relief and interrupted the officer. "Yes, now I remember. Thank you very much." The officer gave him a perfunctory smile and went on his way. Solo finished punching in commands for the port droid and took another quick survey of his surroundings. Still finding nothing suspicious, he headed off to the hotel.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

When the door flew open, Leia practically jumped off the couch, momentarily disoriented from her short nap.

"It’s just me, sweetheart. No need to get up," Solo drawled. He punched the wall controls and the door closed behind him. He gave the room a quick once-over then moved his focus back to Leia and eyed her suggestively. "Very nice," he said, his words purposefully drawn out.

"Go to hell." She crossed her arms with indignation then asked, "Where’s our cargo?"

He ignored her question and walked over to a large glass door that led out to a balcony. "Twenty-third floor. What an incredible view." Leia was beginning to lose her temper again. She walked over and stood behind him.

"I asked you a question," she said to his back. He continued to ignore her. She reached for his shoulder, pulling him around to face her. "Han! Where’s our cargo?" He moved forward and loomed over her. Her eyes lit up with surprise at his inexplicable behavior. She instinctively backed away from him. He followed her as she continued to step backwards, her path eventually blocked when she bumped up against the wall. He placed his palms on the wall behind her, effectively trapping her. He was about to whisper something into her ear when she shoved him away.

"What do you think you’re doing!" she yelled at him, trying to disguise her fear as anger. No longer able to contain himself, he grinned at her. "I’m telling you, this is the LAST mission…" She was interrupted by the door chime. Han gave her an accusatory look.

"Are you expecting someone, your Highness?" She threw her hands in the air and went to answer the door. She was abruptly stopped when he grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"What in the hell are you doing?" she demanded. He brought his finger up to his lips and waved her over to the other side of the door.

Drawing his blaster, he called out "Who is it?" A chirping metallic sound could be heard from behind the closed door. "Room 2309…. Port droid delivery for room 2309…"

Leia opened the door and the droid carrying their belongings entered the room. Han took a quick peek outside then palmed the door shut before placing his blaster back in its holster. He turned to Leia and pointed to the droid.

"The cargo’s here." Leia rolled her eyes.

"No kidding," she said, unamused.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next morning Leia awoke, still feeling groggy even after over sleeping her alarm by three hours. After a quick shower she got dressed and walked out to the main room, expecting another full day’s worth of arguing to begin instantly. The room was empty however, as were Solo’s sleeping quarters. She looked around the room and noticed a note on the table. A single Alderaanian lily had been placed carefully across the piece of paper.

This was obviously his way of apologizing but somehow the gesture annoyed her. Probably because it was so difficult to know when he was being genuinely sincere or just pulling her chain. She tore up the note so the cleaning staff or anyone else would not find it, gaining some satisfaction from the act. This mission wasn’t really that dangerous but it was important. She and Han were to meet with their contact, Gil Jorn. A formal meeting would be held in two days to discuss a possible alliance with the Pontiel republic of planets. It was only a matter of time before the Empire would invade their small republic and without help they would be easily defeated. Leia decided to order something for breakfast from room service. Within 30 minutes, she had feasted on a rare treat of fresh fruit and local bread. Pushing the now empty breakfast tray aside, she retrieved her negotiation papers and personal notes about the Pontiel alliance. She dreaded Han’s return but was still anxious to find out what impressions he gathered during his meeting with Jorn. Leia had never met him but her father had been involved as a mediator between Jorn and another party. She remembered how her father had been pushed to his limits by the experience. Strangely, she was unable to recall her father’s face. She went to the large trunk they had brought with them and systematically searched through it to find a picture of her father. She removed one item at a time, placing them neatly on the floor. Halfway through the trunk, the picture still eluded her. Glancing at the items laid out on the floor, she became uneasy, as one by one they became unrecognizable to her. She knew what they were, but was unable to remember any of them belonging to her.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Solo spent the morning checking out the local sites; carefully making sure no one was following him before he went to meet with Jorn. He arrived at the designated meeting place and with one last look over his shoulder, he entered the building. Even though it was a bright sunny day, the smoke-filled and dimly lit café effectively disguised that fact. A small but noisy lunch crowd was already gathered inside. He spotted a solitary man dressed in local garb, sitting at the back of the room. The man raised his bottle of beer, subtly tipping it toward Solo as he looked in his direction. The Corellian cautiously glanced around the room and finally nodded at the stranger. He tossed a coin at the bartender who gladly exchanged it for a cold bottle of beer.

Solo approached the table and asked, "How’s the weather these days?"

The man smiled knowingly at the Corellian and replied, "As cold as hell on a winter’s night."

Solo slid into the chair and reached his hand across the table. "Han Solo."

Jorn smiled. "It’s very nice to meet you."

Solo smiled and nodded. "Same here."

Jorn looked around and then asked, "Will the Princess be joining us today?" Solo shook his head.

"No, the trip was a little rough so I decided to let her sleep in." Jorn leaned in slightly toward the center of the table.

"Can I assume you received the pre-meeting documents drawn up by my people?"

Solo took a swig of his beer then replied in a lowered voice, "She’s probably going over them as we speak." Jorn smiled.

"Good. I hope we will be able to come to a fair and expedient agreement. Our people are eager for such an alliance but I want to make it very clear that we are not desperate." Solo gave him a wry smile.

"I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out."

Jorn held up his bottle. "To the freedom of the galaxy." The two men quietly clinked bottles and swallowed a mouthful of beer, honoring the toast. They talked for several more minutes, finishing their drinks and planning the details of their next meeting. They would meet again in two days but next time Leia would join them. She would be responsible for the negotiations, the one thing about this trip for which Han was truly grateful. He could negotiate, but he was used to doing so only on his terms, easily walking away with little provocation. Jorn seemed like the kind of man who wasn’t used to giving in. Han would probably just walk away from the deal in such circumstances but Leia had much more patience than he did. He knew she would be unwilling to give up negotiations so easily.

Haides sat in the dark smoke-filled room, his vantage point perfectly concealed as he watched the Corellian leave the café. He casually got up and followed him, carefully staying out of sight and far enough back to avoid detection. He stopped at a street vendor to purchase a local trinket and watched as his quarry entered the hotel. He paid the vendor and took the purchased item, heading back to his own hotel. Taking the long way back, he ensured there was no one following him. Arriving back in his room, he signaled his commanding officer with a portable comm unit. "Haides reporting." Static could be heard as the far end responded.

"Go ahead. Have you located the Princess?"

"Yes sir. I have located the hotel where she is staying and will continue with the original plan." There was a pause and more static.

"How many people did she bring with her?"

Haides nervously replied, "Just one sir, but…" The commander cut him off.

"But what?" Haides straightened himself up and cleared his throat.

"It’s Captain Solo, commander. She brought Solo with her," he continued, just a little too anxiously, "Sir, I’m confident that I can handle the situation." The comm unit sputtered and hissed.

"If you blow this mission and I lose my command, you can be damn sure you’ll wish you were dead." The comm unit went quiet as the far end of the connection was swiftly dropped. His hand trembled as he reached for the unit and turned it off.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Solo entered their room in his usual insolent manner. "Hey there sleeping beauty!" Leia sprung to her feet and regarded him for a long moment.

"Do you know where the picture of my father is at?" He stared at her, wondering if she were joking, then noticed the contents of the trunk lying on the floor.

"What?"

"My father. You remember what he looks like, don’t you?" Now she really had him stumped. He rubbed the side of his head and looked at her quizzically not really knowing how to answer. Leia walked over to where he stood. "Don’t you remember?" she asked. Solo shook his head with confusion.

"What in the hell are you talking about? You know I never met your father." He immediately regretted the harshness of his words as he watched her expression quickly transform. She looked utterly dejected. "Hey, what’s going on?" he asked, concerned. She looked down and stared at the floor, unresponsive. He gently took her arm and guided her toward the couch. When she failed to protest, give him a dirty look or question his actions he began to worry. He waited until they were both seated before he spoke. "Leia, I never knew your father. Remember? He died in the destruction of Alderaan last year." She looked at him with disbelief, unwilling to even consider such an odd statement. She smiled at Han, vaguely remembering something about him. He liked to tease her; that was it. He was teasing her!

"Come on…." Her voice tapered off and the smile left her face when she couldn’t remember his name.

"Leia? What’s wrong?" She looked down without answering. "Did something happen while I was gone this morning?" There was still no response from her. "Leia?" he called, gently shaking her shoulder. She looked up at him, tears forming at the corner of one eye.

"I can’t remember what my father looks…." She paused, rubbing the tear from her eye. "I can’t remember what my father looked like. I don’t remember my home planet being destroyed." Looking at him with woeful eyes, she continued. "I can’t even remember your name." Not wanting to make matters worse, he carefully monitored his reaction to her statements, especially the last one.

"You recognized me. Do you remember anything about me?" She studied his features. She did know him. His name was unknown to her, but his presence seemed instinctively familiar.

"I know you, but everything about you, about myself is nebulous. My memories seem to be slipping away from me. I see images of people and places which seem familiar but then I lose sight of them, one by one."

He rested his hand on her shoulder and said, "Listen, this is very important. You need to tell me exactly what happened today." She wiped another tear from her eye, trying to compose herself before speaking. "It’s OK. Why don’t you start with when you got up this morning," he suggested. She thought tentatively, then spoke.

"I remember waking up this morning. I looked at the chrono. It was 10 am. I overslept." She paused for a moment and looked at him for encouragement.

"That’s good. Can you remember what you did after you woke up?"

"Yes, I took a shower and got dressed then came out to the main room to find you." She looked at him with a child-like expression. "You weren’t here. You had already left." Han shirked an unexpected wave of guilt.

"I left you a note," he amended. "Do you remember the note?" A brief light of recognition sparked in her eyes as she suddenly stood up and searched her pockets. They were empty. She looked around the room and then slowly sat back down again. Her voice took on a dejected tone.

"I tore up the note." He wasn’t surprised. After yesterday’s bickering he would not have expected anything less than to find its smoldering ashes in the garbage.

"That’s OK. What did you do after you tore up the note?" he coaxed. She looked over at the table.

"I ordered breakfast." She smiled at him, remembering how much she had enjoyed the meal. He followed her glance to the table and noticed the empty tray. He rose and went over to inspect it. Her eyes followed the lanky Corellian’s form across the room. There was something about him that enchanted her.

"What did you have for breakfast?" When she failed to answer he turned to look at her, catching a flash of longing in her eyes. His thoughts turned from concern to intrigue. He put down the tray and walked back to her. Leia saw the intense look in his eyes and nervously turned away. He sat down next to her and whispered her name. "Leia?" She refused to look at him, to look too deeply into the unknown. Instead she replied to his question.

"I had fresh fruit and some local bread." Her quick dismissal of whatever it was that had just happened between them was typical and predictable behavior, so he returned his focus back to the conversation.

"How long ago did you eat?" She shrugged her shoulders.

"I’m not sure exactly. I think it must have been about an hour after I got up." Han looked at the chrono, which read 12:30. An hour and a half. He had to get a doctor up here right away.

Putting on his best `Everything’s going to be fine` face, he said, "I think I know what’s going on. I’m going to find a doctor, to take a look at you."

"A doctor?" she replied, her voice raised slightly with worry.

"It’s going to be OK. Why don’t you just go lie down for awhile and I’ll take care of this." She gave him a flirtatious smile. The unfamiliar gesture caught him by surprise and he could do nothing but stare at her as she turned and walked away. He watched her retreating form, as something powerful threatened to overcome him.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Solo had managed to pull a few strings and even made a threat or two in order to get a doctor up to their room within a few hours. When the door finally chimed, he waved in the doctor and gave him a terse handshake. "She’s in her room, resting." The doctor pulled out a datapad from his bag and went over the information he had given him over the comm.

"You said she is experiencing memory loss?"

Solo replied impatiently, "Yes, yes! She ate fresh fruit for breakfast and when I came back here around 12:15, she couldn’t remember her father." The doctor nodded, taking notes as Solo spoke.

"Has she been vaccinated for the Apox virus?"

Finally, Solo thought. "No. I don’t think so, anyway. So you think that’s what it is?" The doctor finished writing his notes and replied.

"We had a small outbreak here last month. The symptoms sound right but I won’t know for sure until I can examine her." Solo waved the doctor ahead of him, toward Leia’s sleeping quarters.

"She’s taking a nap in there." The doctor entered her room and stopped just inside the door, blocking Solo’s view. He turned and looked back at him questioningly. Solo moved around the doctor to see what the problem was. The bed was empty. "Kest!" Solo began to curse under his breath. Holding back his panic, he quickly checked the bathroom. Empty. Now he was panicked. He knew the disease was progressive and eventually if left untreated caused permanent memory loss. Many people had lost family members who had the misfortune to contract the disease and then wander off to who knows where. Han had one last idea. He walked into his own sleeping quarters, hoping for the best.

A small figure lay resting peacefully on his bed. With a sigh of relief he waived in the doctor. Han carefully sat down on the bed and gently woke her. "Leia, Doctor Deerus is here to take a look at you." Sitting upright, she studied the doctor as he proceeded with the exam.

"Princess Leia, I hear you are having a bit of trouble with your memory."

With a distressed tone, she looked at Han and said, "I don’t remember a Doctor Deerus."

"It’s OK. You don’t know him," he reassured her. The doctor took a saliva swab and dropped it into an Apox test vial. The three of them watched in fascination as the yellow liquid within the vial quickly turned to green. The doctor and Han looked at each other knowingly.

"Well?" Leia asked, impatiently.

"I’m afraid you have the Apox virus," the doctor told her. She shook her head.

"What exactly does that mean?"

"It’s a food-borne illness which causes temporary memory loss. If left untreated, the memory loss will become permanent. You are very lucky Princess. We caught it early and you should suffer no long term effects as long as you start the treatment today." He turned to Han. "Since you have already been inoculated, there should be no reason to worry about her passing it on to you." She flashed Han another one of those flirtatious smiles, throwing the once confident Corellian completely off-guard. He nervously shifted the focus of the conversation back to the doctor.

"How long before she starts getting back her memory?"

The doctor looked at his datapad to see the exact time of infection and compared it to his chrono. "You should start to get some memories back within 3 or 4 days." The doctor handed the bottle of pills to Han and left.

"I’ll get you some water," he told her. Han went to search for a glass. He wondered if Leia’s memory was really as far gone as her behavior seemed to indicate. Well, he decided, if it wasn’t some kind of trick, it was going to take him a hell of a long time to get used to this Leia. He tried to remember the last time the two of them had gotten along so agreeably. Never, he decided. He finally found a glass and stood at the sink, letting the water run. He couldn’t get the image of that smile out of his head. "Gods! If she only knew what a smile like that does to men. She’d be a real heartbreaker. Yeah, and you’re going to be the first in line, sucker. "Kest!" he said, shaking his head.

"Hey! What’s going on out here?" Han jumped and nearly dropped the glass. Spinning around he found himself face to face with her. Damnit! She was smiling at him again.

"Looks like you’re the one who should be getting some rest," she said, taking the glass from his hand. He was still just standing there, staring at her. She crowded next to him, facing the sink to fill up the glass with water. He turned to face her but did so without giving up any space between them. They both reached out to turn off the water and their hands touched. Han nervously pulled his hand back.

"I would have brought it to you," he finally said. She swallowed the pill and he took the glass from her hand.

"Thank you, but that really isn’t necessary." Now that sounds like the Leia I know, he thought.

"But that’s very kind of you to offer," she added. Nope, I don’t have any idea who in the hell that woman is, he thought. He watched her head back to his room.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Leia took a nap and when she awoke she found the Correlian casually leaning against the doorway. He had an almost undetectable smirk on his lips.

"What?" she asked.

"Oh, I was just wondering if you were planning on sleeping here tonight."

"You mean here, as in this hotel or here as on this moon?"

He laughed, "No, I mean this room." She looked around the room, expecting to see something obviously out of place or unpleasant. Finding nothing unusual she turned back to him.

"I’m not sure what you’re asking. Is there something wrong with this room?" Han decided that all those years of playing sabaac just might come in handy after all.

"No, absolutely nothing." He moved back out to the main room. She got up and followed him, stretching and yawning.

"Hey, you still haven’t told me your name." He turned and looked at her, wondering which of the many names she had for him she would be most interested in learning.

"Solo. Han Solo." He watched her closely for any hint of recognition. There was none. This could get interesting, he thought.

"How do we know each other?" she asked. He sighed and smiled at her.

"It’s a very long story. Maybe I can tell you later. Right now we have something much more important to talk about. Do you remember why we are here?" She thought for a moment and remembered she was reading something before she went to find the picture of her father.

"I was reading something right before you came back." She walked over to the table. Her personal notes and the preliminary treaty were still where she had left them. He followed her to the table to see what she was looking at. She picked up her personal notes and began to read them, willing herself to remember. Han watched her in silence as her expression changed from hopefulness to doubt and then back again. He had an overwhelming urge to touch her. She was vulnerable; to him, to everyone and everything. He was fighting a war within his mind. One side his natural wolfish inclination to pursue and capture her, the other side wanting to protect her, even from himself. Absorbed in her reading, she was oblivious to the personal battle going on right next to her. He decided it would be best to remove himself from the situation until he could think straight. Heading to his quarters, he called back to her, "I’ll be back in a little while." She stopped reading and looked up, just in time to see him disappear into her room. It was too late once he realized what he had done. He cursed to himself, wondering if she had seen him. He started towards the door of his, now her room. He hesitated, trying to decide if he should stay or go to her, now his room. He would leave, he decided. They collided into each other under the doorway. It seemed that she was very curious as to why he had gone into her room! Being just half his size, she fell backwards and tumbled onto the floor. They both looked at each other, momentarily startled, then laughed. He reached down to give her a hand up off the floor. The smile on Han’s face was slowly replaced by something else. His mind was still engaged in it’s own private war and this time Leia could see it. Her face became expressionless when she noticed his gaze, focused on her lips. She unconsciously licked them, breaking his stare. Their eyes met and they both stood motionless; she paralyzed with the unknown and he with his personal demons. He reached out, grasping onto her arms and pulled her close. She began to tremble but was unsure if it was due to her loss of confidence created by her failing memory, or the close proximity of the Corellian. Before she could finish the thought, he swiftly moved his lips over hers. She tentatively returned his kiss, moving one hand to rest lightly on the back of his neck. Encouraged by the small gesture, he wrapped his arms around her and tightened his grip, pulling her firmly against his chest. She panicked; suddenly feeling trapped and struggled to free herself. He broke the kiss and backed away from her slightly. His hand moved to cradle the side of her face. Giving her a compunctious look, he released her then turned and left.

When the door closed behind him, he began to breathe again. His mind was a jumbled mess of incoherent thoughts and desires. He asked himself what in the hell he was doing. She would have her memory back in a few days and here he was, trying to seduce her. He entered the hotel bar and had the bardroid make him a triple shot of Corellian whisky. About two-thirds of the way through his second drink, a familiar voice came from behind him.

"Fancy meeting you here!" Solo put down his drink and turned to Jorn.

"Hey," he replied, his voice heavy with dismay. He sighed and finished off the last of his drink, yelling at the bardroid to bring him another.

"Triple shots is it?" Jorn commented.

"Yeah, well I’ve had one hell of a day." Jorn pulled over a stool and sat next to him.

With a twinkling in his eyes he said, "Anything I can do to help? After all, I am a negotiator, you know." Solo gave him a partial smile and started on his next drink.

"Probably not. If I were you, I’d be worried about yourself. You’ve really got your work cut out for you." Jorn smiled, finally understanding what was bothering the Corellian.

"Ah yes. Well, don’t worry about me old man. I knew her father." His voice took on a somewhat rancorous tone. "Believe me, I think it’s safe to say nothing could even come close to topping that delightful experience." Solo swallowed another mouthful of whisky.

He looked at Jorn and let out a forced laugh, "Don’t count on it." His speech was slightly slurred but his tone was incisive and his eyes were self-assured. Jorn shifted uneasily. There was something about Solo’s gaze that made his blood run cold. Jorn quickly composed himself and chuckled.

He slapped the Corellian on the back and said, "Well old man, hang in there. I’ve got to get rolling but I do look forward to our next meeting." Solo nodded to him as he left. Returning to his drink, he downed the last of it in one gulp and tried to get another. The damned bardroid refused to serve him so he sat at the bar, cussing under his breath each time the droid passed by him. His mind was still filled with conflicted thoughts and emotions, rendering itself useless for anything other than to taunt him. If you continue to pursue her, she’ll get her memory back and then she’ll kill you. She’ll rip your beating heart right out of your chest and it will be the last time that you ever let yourself care about someone. It’s already too late. She’s going to remember that you kissed her. You’ll never get another chance with her. You’re just a smuggler, a pirate. Besides, if you weren’t such a coward, she’d already be yours. He slammed his fist down on the table. "You coward!" A lull came over the room as the few remaining patrons stopped their conversations and stared at him. He stood up with a renewed strength of will and headed back to their room.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Leia was startled when she heard something slam into the outside of the door. She froze, momentarily unable to decide what to do. After a few seconds, she quickly went over to the door and stood next to it. She slowly placed her ear against the door, listening intently. The only sound heard was the humming drone of the electronics within it. She sighed and decided it was probably just someone who accidentally slammed their luggage against the door as they passed by. She started to walk away when the door suddenly opened and Solo almost fell through the doorway, desperately attempting to catch his balance. She looked at him as he stood before her, unsteady on his feet with a besotted grin on his face. She stepped forward, sniffing the air around him and recoiled. "You’re drunk!" He blinked at her, trying to clear his vision. Before he could say anything, she spun around and went back to the table to finish her reading. He awkwardly flailed his arm in her direction, almost losing his balance. She studied him briefly; shaking her head then went back to reading her notes. Solo mumbled something under his breath and staggered into his room. She looked up as he disappeared. "Hey, that’s my room!" she complained.

"Yeah, whatever you say," he replied, throwing himself onto the bed. He sat up with some difficulty then pulled off one of his boots and threw it at the door control. A satisfied smile crept across his face. It was a direct hit and the door hissed shut. "It’s my room, sweetheart," he mumbled. His head slammed back against the pillow as he passed out.

Leia woke up the next day and spent the morning and early afternoon studying her notes and preliminary treaty. She was determined to go ahead with the meeting and successfully reach an agreement with the Pontiel Republic, with or without her memory. It was just her nature. She ordered a late lunch and wondered it the Corellian was dead. She was about to check on him when she finally heard him stir.

"Kest!" Han swore in Corellian and groaned, holding his head in his hands. He thought for sure that it would explode. He hoped for as much anyway. Anything to stop the pain. He sat up which made his head throb even more. Pulling off his one remaining boot, he tossed it on the floor. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and got to his feet. His temples were plagued with shooting pains every time he moved. His holster landed with a thud on the bed then he undressed and got into the shower. The warm water helped but not much. What he really needed was something for his headache. It was rare for him to drink enough to get drunk and now he was painfully reminded why. Han dried himself off and quickly ran the towel through his wet hair. He pulled on a clean pair of trousers and headed out to the main room for some badly needed painkillers. Leia was sitting at the table, but this time she was eating lunch. She gave him an amused look.

"Feeling better?" she cheerfully asked. He raised his hands up protectively.

"If you keep yelling, my head’s going to rupture." She watched him in silence as he frantically searched through the trunk.

"Looking for something?" she finally asked. He peered at her over the top of the upturned trunk lid.

"Yeah, where’s the praxin?" Her distant memories were still gone, but she did remember seeing the bottle of praxin when she was looking through the trunk yesterday. She got up and kneeled down next to him, reaching toward the back of the trunk. Her hand emerged with the eagerly sought after drug and he greedily removed it from her grasp.

"You’re welcome," she snorted, watching him as he popped three of the pills into his mouth and went to search for something to wash them down with. Leia shook her head, closing the trunk and then went back to her lunch. Han came back out to the main room, this time with a glass of water in his hand. He stood on the opposite side of the table from where she sat and finished his water. The movement of his throat attracted her gaze. Her eyes slowly wandered down the length of his torso. His body was strong and lean, still retaining its wiry form of youth. She glanced up and realized he was no longer drinking but was instead staring at her intently. She blushed, quickly averting her eyes. She busied herself with the last of her lunch as he stood there, silently staring at her. Han set his glass down on the table and sat down in the chair next to her.

"How’s your memory?" he asked.

She swallowed the food in her mouth and said, "I’m starting to remember why we came here, but that’s about it." She nervously stole a quick glance at him. He was still staring at her. "So when are we supposed to meet with Jorn?" she asked. He finally broke his stare and reached for an apple, polishing it on his trousers.

"Tomorrow." He bit into the apple and continued, "But you’re in no condition to negotiate." She pointed to her notes and tapped her finger over them.

"Yes I am. I’ve read all of my notes and the preliminary treaty. Even though most of my memory is still gone, I’m certain that I can do this," she assured him. He took another bite from the apple and looked at her doubtfully.

"Look, I just don’t think this is a good idea." He continued eating his apple, satisfied his decision was the right one. Leia had other ideas. He looked up and almost choked when he saw the familiar look in her eyes. She was beginning to get upset. His head still ached and the thought of her going off on him now made him cringe with dread. He raised his hand defensively. "Please, no yelling. We can talk about it again later." She smiled, confident that she’d be able to convince him to let her meet with Jorn. She looked at his bare chest, this time without embarrassment.

"Are you going to finish getting dressed, or what?" He ate the last bite of his apple, once again staring at her.

"Why? Does it bother you?" She went back to her lunch without answering and he smirked. She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he got up and went to finish getting dressed.

Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on her, he thought. She’s been doing nothing but studying her notes and god knows I’m sure as hell no match for Jorn. He absently pulled a shirt over his head. Maybe I could stall Jorn for a few days, just until she gets her memory back. He snorted, yeah right, and maybe I can stop this moon from orbiting its dead planet. He knew this was their one shot. It had to be Leia, or no treaty.

He returned to the main room, this time fully clothed and armed. If she hadn’t seen him earlier this morning without his blaster, she would have guessed he wore it to bed. She smiled at her private joke then bit her lip to avoid making a mockery of herself. Luckily, his attention was focused on the trunk and he didn’t catch her amused expression.

"More praxin, already?" she teased. He ignored her and continued digging through the trunk. A few moments later he stood up and closed the lid. He carried a small box in his hand and walked over to Leia. "What’s that?" she asked. He opened the box and delicately removed the small device, handing it to her.

"It’s a tracking unit. I think you should wear it, especially now. If something happens to you I’ll be able to find you." She looked at him questioningly.

"If something happens to me. You mean if I decide to go shopping and get lost?" she mocked. He gave her a fleeting smile.

"I’ve been thinking. From what I can see, Jorn is going to be tough to deal with. You’re still the only person I can think of who has a chance of success for a treaty." He gave her a sly smile. "I’d do it but my method would require the use of a blaster and I don’t think Riekan would approve." She smiled at his comment then grinned with delight as she realized he was going to allow her to meet with Jorn. She got up and flung her arms around him.

"Thank you." Her jubilant mood was infectious and he grinned, returning her embrace. After a long moment, she pulled away from him. She was still smiling when she looked up and asked, "Who’s Captain N?" The smile left Han’s face and his arms fell heavily down to his sides.

"Why do you ask?" She picked up some papers off the table.

"I found a reference to him in my notes." Han did his best to look nonchalant.

"Oh? Well, what did it say?" he asked, secretly dying to know. She put the notes back down on the table.

"Not much really. Just something about him being pigheaded and stubborn." Han gave her a weak smile.

"Oh. Yeah, well I suppose he is." She looked up at him expectantly.

"Well? Who is he?" she asked. His eyes shifted uneasily and he drew in a long breath then released it.

"He’s me." She grinned at him.

"You? I don’t get it. What does the N stand for?" He moved away from her and sat down on the couch. She followed him but didn’t sit down. She couldn’t stop herself from giggling. "Come on, it couldn’t be that bad!"

He released a long sigh and said, "You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you." She moved around to the front of the couch and looked right at him.

"Try me." Her eyes lit up with surprise when she saw him smirk at her remark. Even with a hangover, his reflexes were still quick. She saw it coming but still wasn’t able to move fast enough to escape his grasp.

"Why don’t you come down here and I’ll whisper it into your ear," he said, in a low seductive voice. She let out a small squeal as he spun her around and pulled her into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and to his delight she didn’t try to get away from him. Leia twisted herself sideways and rested her right arm on his left shoulder so she could see him. She gave him a coy smile.

"Well Captain N, I’m waiting." He moved his lips to her ear and smiled deviously. He said nothing; instead one of his hands found her ribcage and he tickled her. She broke out in laughter and leaned back hard into the arm of the couch. "Stop that!" she begged, unable to stop laughing. He refused, so she began to tickle him back but was soon flustered by his lack of response. "This isn’t fair!" she pleaded. He finally stopped tickling her so she could catch her breath. "You are incorrigible!"

He grinned, "Yeah, that too." His grin slowly faded as their eyes met. His hand moved to the back of her head and he pulled her into a long kiss. She moaned softly into his mouth, overwhelmed with the sensations and emotions he evoked. He reluctantly ended the kiss and looked into her eyes. Her dark eyes stared back at him, possessively capturing his soul with their innocence and undisguised wanting. He carried her to hid room and gently laid her down on the bed. He moved over her and kissed her passionately, drawn to her with utter desperation. His hands roamed her body, searching and learning every curve, slowly, tentatively at first. Leia’s breath came in short gasps with every touch of his hands, every caress of his lips as they traced a slow sultry trail down her neck. She nervously reached out to him and tugged on his shirt. He lifted his head so she could pull it off of him. He took a moment to remove her shirt as well before returning his lips to her body. His kisses wandered across her collar bone and down to the edge of one incredibly sensitive breast. He cupped it gently in his hand and took her nipple into his mouth. Leia gasped and moaned as he swiftly moved his mouth to her other breast, then back and forth until she thought she was going to lose her mind. Her hips instinctively moved upward against him and he groaned softly and pressed against her. He kissed her passionately as his hands desperately reached for her trousers and worked to remove them. He paused briefly, kneeling over her naked form. She blushed slightly as he stared at her. Her hands found his face and cradled it, gently pulling him down to her. He kissed her then paused for a moment to finish removing his clothes then quickly moved over her. Leia gasped at the sensation of their bare flesh coming together. She could feel him hard and excited as he pressed against her. She moaned as he slowly pulled himself up and carefully entered her. Her breath caught as their bodies came together as one and he whispered into her ear, "Leia." A low animalistic moan escaped his throat as he settled himself deep inside her. His lips moved along her neck and chin as she moaned and writhed wildly beneath him. Their bodies moved rythmically together, growing more and more frantic until she moaned loudly and gripped onto him tightly. He gently nudged her over the edge and held himself still inside her as she called out his name. Their eyes met and he began to move inside her again, thrusting deeper and harder. A low throaty groan escaped from him as he released his seed within her. He remained inside her and rolled them over so she was lying on top of him. He held her tightly in his arms as they both drifted off to sleep.

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Han was rudely awakened when the alarm clock went off. He grumbled and reluctantly moved his arm out from under the warm covers to shut the damn thing off. A pleasant smile ran across his lips as he felt the small warm body wrapped tightly around him. A mass of long dark hair was draped across his chest. Her head rested lightly on his shoulder as she looked up at him.

A smile broke out on her face and she said, "good morning, Captain Nerfherder." Han panicked. Oh Kest! She’s got her memory back already, he thought. She saw the worried look on his face and laughed. "Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me," she teased.

He relaxed a little and asked, "How much do you remember?"

She thought for a moment then said, "I remember everything." His eyes widened with horror. A wicked smile appeared on her face and she continued, "I remember everything about last night. But that’s about it." He finally realized she was teasing him.

"Oh. I see. So are you going to tell me how you figured out Captain Nerfherder? Or am I going to have to tickle the answer out of you?" She giggled and moved her arm protectively over her ribs.

"No! I’ll tell you!" He smiled and kissed her forehead, running his hand through her long hair. "You talk in your sleep," she announced. He looked at her with disbelief.

"I do not!" he protested.

She giggled, "Oh yes you do. Maybe you can explain who ‘Her worship’ is."

Han moaned, "I’m doomed!" He rolled over onto his side and faced her. "Look, you’re going to find out sooner or later, so I might as well tell you now. We didn’t exactly get along very well before you came down with the Apox virus." He looked her in the eyes. She didn’t seem upset, at least not yet.

"We must have gotten along well enough or they wouldn’t have sent us on this mission together, right?" she asked.

"Well, they obviously didn’t think we’d kill each other," he joked.

She smiled and said, "I find it hard to believe we didn’t get along." He pulled her up so they were eye to eye.

"Yeah, me too." He kissed her and rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him.

She leaned up, stiff armed and said, "Hey Captain N, we’re going to be late for our meeting with Jorn." Han groaned. How he wished the meeting were tomorrow. He pulled her back down into another long kiss; deciding Jorn could damn well wait.

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Jorn paced nervously back and forth, wondering if he had gone to the wrong storage bay. There were only two of them on the entire moon, and he knew this was the only abandoned one. He had to be in the right place. Maybe they changed their minds. Maybe the Alliance sent new orders. Maybe he had been… His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps. Solo warily stepped out into the open, his hand poised readily above his blaster.

"Jorn?" he called.

Jorn relaxed slightly and said, "Yes, it’s me. I’m over here." Solo looked behind him and raised his hand to Leia.

"Stay here until I call you." She nodded and he winked at her then slowly made his way toward Jorn’s voice. When he finally saw Jorn, he stopped about 5 meters away from him and asked, "Are you ready to negotiate?" Jorn slowly held up some papers in his hands.

"Yes. I’m ready. Where’s the Princess? he asked.

Solo gestured behind him, "She’s here." He looked around the room, seeing no obvious hiding places for a possible ambush. Keeping his focus on Jorn, he called out, "Leia, it’s OK. You can come out." Jorn carefully studied the Corellian. He had spent a lifetime negotiating and had learned with detailed precision the art of reading another person’s true motives and feelings, based solely on their body language; regardless of the words they spoke. And he easily recognized the emotion he saw in Solo’s eyes when he called out her name. He was in love with her, and that made him all the more dangerous. Leia stepped out from her hiding place and rounded a corner about 10 meters away from the two men. Jorn looked behind Solo who instinctively turned around. Leia approached the two men, studying Jorn. There was something about him that seemed so familiar. Her memories were slowly coming back to her, perhaps this was just an odd side affect of her recovery.

She smiled at him and said, "Gil Jorn, I’m very honored to finally meet you." He smiled, reaching out to take her hand.

"The honor is mine, Princess." Solo cleared his throat and they looked at him.

"This place kind of gives me the creeps. How ‘bout if we just get down to business?" he suggested.

"Yes, Captain Solo is quite right. Please, come with me. There is a place to sit down over by the far wall," he gestured. Solo nodded and they followed him across the room where a small table and three chairs had been set up. Leia continued to struggle with her memory, still unable to remember why Jorn seemed so familiar. Had she met him as a child, perhaps when he and her father had worked together as mediator and client? She didn’t think so. The three made their way to the table and sat down. Jorn placed his papers on the table and said, "Princess Leia, I believe you have already seen the preliminary treaty?" Solo’s internal alarms began to go off when he saw the perplexed look on her face. Jorn also noticed. "Princess Leia, is there a problem?" he asked.

Leia quickly smiled at him and said, "No, not at all. It’s nothing. Please forgive me. I’ve been recovering from a small bout of the flu." Both men looked at her with some surprise.

"Oh, I’m terribly sorry. Perhaps we should meet again in a few days, after you’ve had time to fully recover," Jorn replied.

"No!" Leia begged. Her face flushed slightly as she realized how desperate she must have sounded. Taking on a more controlled voice she said, "I mean that won’t be necessary. Really, I’m fine. And to answer your question; yes, I have seen the preliminary treaty and have drawn up a counter offer." She handed him some papers and said, "I think your people will find this offer fair and agreeable." Both men stared at her hand, which was badly shaking. The papers dropped out of her hand as she suddenly passed out, slumping over the table.

"Leia!" Solo yelled, catching her in his arms. He gently shook her but she remained completely unresponsive. He carefully pulled her away from the table and laid her on the floor. She was breathing, but was unconscious. Solo looked up to find Jorn pointing a blaster at him. Solo instinctively reached for his holster.

"Don’t do it!" Jorn demanded.

Solo hesitated then sneered at him, "Go to hell, you bastard!" Jorn fired, scoring a hit to his right shoulder. Solo’s blaster fell to the ground and he was knocked backwards. Solo yelled in pain, moving his left hand over the wound to stop the bleeding. "Who the hell are you?" Jorn kicked Solo’s blaster so it was far out of his reach. He casually moved toward the Corellian, no longer feeling threatened by the unarmed and wounded man.

"My name is Haides. I was sent by the Empire to stop Princes Leia from forming any new alliances. I was hoping both of you would become infected with the Apox virus. It would have made my job a lot easier." Solo gave her a worried look.

"What did you do to her!" he demanded.

"What does it matter? You’re not going to live much longer yourself. At least her death will be painless and it will ensure a quick victory for the Empire." Solo winced in pain at his throbbing shoulder.

"You’ll never succeed," he said, matter of factly. Haides gave him an amused smile and stood over him, pointing his blaster at the Corellian’s chest.

"You’ve got a great sense of humor Captain Solo. I’m very sorry but it’s time for you to die." Solo watched as the man’s grip slowly tightened on the blaster. The Corellian let out a maniacal laugh, which threw Haides off-guard for a moment; long enough for Solo to kick the blaster out of his hand. Haides started after the blaster but Solo tackled him, pulling him down to the ground. The men wrestled, both desperately trying to choke each other. Solo had the upper hand for the moment, his hands wrapped around Haides neck. Haides punched his injured shoulder and knocked Solo off of him. Haides rolled over and reached toward the blaster. It lingered just a few inches out of his reach. Solo went after him, retrieving a knife from his boot. He kneeled over Haides, his knee firmly set in the small of the man’s back. Haides frantically struggled to reach the blaster as Solo grabbed him by the hair, drawing his head up. He held the knife under his throat.

"Tell me what you did to her, or I’ll kill you!" Solo threatened. Haides knew what awaited him if he returned from his mission unsuccessful. He purposefully reached for the blaster, resigning himself to his fate. He felt a swift cut across his throat and the warmth of his own blood as it flowed from him. Then there was darkness. Solo dropped the knife and scrambled off the dead man. "Leia!" he cried out, shaking her. He listened to her chest and for what seemed like an eternity, heard nothing. His soul quickly filled with guilt and sorrow, like a battle-torn ship taking on the cold, salty water of an unforgiving sea. He knew without doubt this would torment him for the rest of his life. Within a split second, he had resolved to end his own life. He struggled to lift his head away from her chest, his will torn between utter despair as he clung to her lifeless body and the overwhelming need to end his suffering.

"Leia!" he wailed out. His eyes focused on Haides’ outstretched hand. Solo’s glance fell upon the blaster and he began to slowly lift his head. He froze, suddenly filled with uncertainty, then joy. He pressed his head firmly against her chest and listened. There! He heard it again. She was still alive! Tears ran down his face as he pulled himself up and looked at her. He held her hand and called out her name.

"Leia, can you hear me?" She weakly squeezed his hand and tried to open her eyes.

"Han?" she answered.

He leaned over her and whispered softly, "I’m here. I’m right here, sweetheart." She could hear him but couldn’t open her eyes.

"I’ve been drugged, but I think it’s wearing off." She felt something drip onto her face and instinctively reached up. Her hand found his face, wet with tears. He grasped her hand and brought it to his lips and kissed it. "Han, what’s wrong?" she asked, her voice filled with worry.

He smiled down at her and said, "I thought I had lost you." His voice was racked with emotion and even though she couldn’t see him, she was overwhelmed by it. She pulled his head down to her and kissed him.

"Where’s Jorn?" she asked.

"His real name was Haides. He was sent by the Empire to assassinate you," he explained. She finally managed to open her eyes for a moment and focused on him.

"He was the man who brought me my breakfast the first day we came here."

"Of course! So that’s what he meant. He’s the one who infected you with the Apox virus." He looked down at her and said, "Can you get up?" Except for the annoying reluctance of her eyelids to remain open, she was beginning to feel better. She pulled herself up to a sitting position.

"I think so," she replied. He helped her onto her feet, his arms held firmly around her for support. She clung to him for a few moments then slowly began to stand on her own. He cautiously released her, prepared to catch her again at the first sign of trouble. Her gaze fell upon the dead body of Haides, and the bloody knife resting near the man’s slit throat. A look of horrified shock filled her eyes. The reflection of that horror as she looked back at Solo caught him by surprise. This wasn’t the woman he had known for the last year, the one who had seen death far too often. Without her memories she was as innocent and impressionable as a young child. He moved to block her view of the dead man.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

She noticed his injured shoulder and said, "You’re hurt. We’d better get that looked at." He shook his head.

"No. It’s too dangerous. We’ve got to get the hell off this moon right away. For all we know, he didn’t come alone." He retrieved the knife, wiping it off on his already bloody jacket then tucked it back into his boot. Taking her hand he said, "Come on. Let’s get back to the Falcon and get out of here." She gave the dead man one last glance then turned away and followed him.

There was no sign of trouble when they got back to the Falcon. They managed to get onboard without attracting any attention and within minutes, Solo had been given clearance to leave. He insisted that she lay down and rest but she refused. He punched in the coordinates for the rebel base and put the ship on auto-pilot. He reluctantly left her alone for a few minutes so he could take a shower and put on a clean pair of trousers. His shoulder had stopped bleeding and was now covered with a bandage. He found her still sitting in the co-pilot’s chair when he came back.

"You never answered my question back there. Are you alright?" His voice startled her out of her thoughts. She looked at him and stood up. Memories had been slowly but steadily coming back to her during the last few hours. Many of them were unpleasant, some were just downright perplexing. The mixture of these old memories with those of the last few days had combined to create a confusing image within her mind. The image of this man, whom she thought she knew not once, but twice, loomed heavily within her mind. Before they went on this mission together, she was certain she already knew Han Solo. Wasn’t this the same man she bitterly referred to as Captain Nerfherder? The one man in the entire galaxy who could push her to pure rage? The man she vehemently declared she would never work with again? How could such a scoundrel possibly be the same man she had come to know during the last few days? One of these images must be false, she realized. Solo became uneasy as he watched her confused expression. He realized the inevitable had finally happened.

With a downcast glance she said, "I don’t know who you are anymore."

He moved close to her and taking her hand he said, "I’m the man who loves you, and would rather face death than life without you." She looked up at him, wondering if these were the words of a devil, or a saint. What she saw was neither. His expression was filled with both uncertainty and hope. He stood before her with the affections of a young boy, totally disarmed and unprotected against love’s fate. She put her arms around him and they embraced each other tightly. It was then that she realized it was her own prejudices that had prevented her from seeing the truth. Only when they had been taken away from her, had she allowed herself to see his true identity. All of the qualities she had once despised in him probably saved both of their lives today. She began to weep, her entire body racked with anguish over the thought of this man, whom she almost came to never know.

She looked up at him and said, "I love you." And for the first time, they finally knew each other.

END