"I'm transmitting now."
Mora's fingers trembled nervously as she waited for the data that Markus had
collected on her crewmates to collect into the small golden cube that she had
carefully hooked up on the small panel in the Jeffries tube. It was a different
panel than before, but for some reason, Mora felt as if she was being watched.
She looked both ways down the Jeffries tube for the dozenth or so time. "Are
you sure
this is secure, Markus?" She said, looking back to the small holographic
screen glowing from the panel.
Markus nodded, as he concentrated on transmitting the information. "I've
only ever met a handful of people who were able to crack the code we're using,
even if they
could ever detect the transmission, no one would know who was talking or what
about. Don't worry, but don't contact me again until the time."
"I won't." Mora disconnected the golden colored cube, the data transmission completed.
"You know, you've really got an interesting crew there. Half of them are
Maquis, or at least want to be, and the other lot are all incredible aggressive,
outcasts, or
both. Wouldn't want to be working security on that ship, or be that Cardassian
you have me look up." Markus laughed, his shockingly blue eyes glittering.
"Thanks a lot, Markus." Mora grinned, for what felt like the first
time in memory. "I will talk to you when we reach the peace talks. I should
have everything planned
by then."
"Okay, kid. Be careful." Markus smiled grimly, "I'll talk to you then. Good bye."
The screen blinked off and with a soft sigh, Mora carefully removed the silver cylinder from the panel and pocketed it next to the cube. She was about to slid downthe tube in the opposite direction from where she had come when her sensitively attuned ears suddenly picked up a change in the twittering and chirping that came from the tube, and more importantly, the panel.
I've been detected.
Mora dashed down the Jeffries tube, still on hands and knees until she reached
an open area with a ladder leading to different decks. She leapt on to it and
climbed as
quickly as she could manage without getting her feet tangled up beneath her.
She scurried down another tube when she arrived a few levels up, once again
on hands and
knees. She finally slid out of the entrance/exit panel of the tube and landed
softly in a deserted corridor. Mora closed the panel behind her and then took
off, walking
as fast as she could without looking suspicious. She made her way back to her
quarters, taking a slightly winding root, hoping mightily that no one had noticed
her.
She finally arrived back in her quarters with a breathless sigh. Her roommate,
whom she had finally managed to meet the day before, was not there, nor, to
her relief,
was a team of security.
Mora immediately put the silver cylinder into a tiny locked case that remained with her rapier near her bed and then attached the golden cube to a PADD to copy the information to a more... standard, and non-illegal, device. She stuck her comm badge back onto her uniform and at last, she collapsed on to her bed, relief filling her body.
Lazily, she disconnected the golden cube and tucked it in with the cylinder shaped device and then tossed the PADD on the floor next to her bed. "I made it." She sighed again, relieved. She closed her eyes happily. "No one found out."
It was with that thought that the door suddenly chimed. Mora's eyes flew open
and she sat up with alarm. She paused a moment to try and steady her voice,
but before
she could respond the doors flew open and entirely filling the open space was
a very, very angry Klingon.
"You were the *one* security officer I actually trusted." He growled.
**** Nu'Daq ****
Nu'Daq was back at his post. He was still feeling the fury from his second encounter with Taite. It had taken him a long time to forget his feelings for Lalaith, but he had done it. However, his anger towards Taite had remained and was reawakened at the sight of him. Nu'Daq wasn't sure how to handle the situation. Taite was Okal's friend. But he was also Nu'Daq's enemy. And to make matters more complicated he was the only one on the ship who knew about Nu'Daq and Lalaith. How would Nu'Daq satisfy his honor without hurting Okal and Xenia?
Nu'Daq was interrupted by a signal beeping at him. Aha, his little spy had
tapped into his trap. The scanners detected an unauthorized transmission on
the same sub space frequency as before. The signal was encoded, it was
impossible to decipher at the moment. Nu'Daq pinpointed the location, and to
his surprise the transmission took place from the same place, Jeffries Tube
16,4. What spy would be so inexperienced to perform two unauthorized transmissions
from the same spot? Well, he was about to find out. Nu'Daq
grabbed his tricorder and rushed into the turbolift.
He quickly came to the entrance to the Jeffries tube. He opened it, it was empty.
But he could hear someone moving up the ladder at the end of the Jeffries tube.
Nu'Daq decided not to follow the spy. Instead he took his
detection device and uplinked it with his tricorder. The recording of the spy
came onto the screen. A small gasp from Nu'Daq showed his surprise. He saw the
face of Mora Arsinoe. Her? If he hadn't seen it himself, he wouldn't
have believed it. And he had considered her as his right hand in security. But
why did she do it?
With the fury from his encounter with Taite still lingering in his blood, the anger came quickly. And he exited the Jeffries tube in a hurry.
"Computer, locate ensign Arsinoe."
"Ensign Arsinoe is in her quarters."
Nu'Daq went towards the crew decks to confront her.
As he reached her door, he pushed the doorbell, but without waiting for her
answer he overrode the door lock and opened it. His huge body filled the doorway
as he angrily stated: "You were the *one* security officer I actually trusted",
as he saw the seemingly tiny and worried ensign sitting
on her bed.
For a moment there was silence. Nu'Daq keep his eyes fixed on Arsinoe, who didn't seem to enjoy his angry look. Then she looked away and said: "I am sorry, Nu'Daq. I truly am."
Nu'Daq looked at her. She seemed sincere. He entered the room, the doors closed behind him. His anger cooled and was replaced by pity for Arsinoe.
She didn't come across as the experienced Romulan spy. Nu'Daq stood tall in the middle of the room. He still needed an explanation. "Why did you do it? Who did you contact? And more importantly: Who are you?"
She hesitated for a moment. Nu'Daq could see she was struggling with herself.
Nu'Daq hoped, she would come clean. He wouldn't want to have to interrogate
her. Then she looked him straight in the eye. "I am here on an
important mission of my own. I am here to avenge the deaths of my parents."
Nu'Daq was surprised. He looked deeply into her eyes, looking for a hint of deceit. But there was none. She was being honest with him. "Why? What happened to them?"
Nu'Daq could see the tears filling her eyes at the thought of her parents.
"Please, Nu'Daq, I can't tell you. But I promise you, my mission will not affect my duties or the ship's functions. Nor will any other crew members be involved. It is solely a private matter."
"Who did you contact?"
"An old friend of mine, who helps me with information. But I didn't want anyone to find out about him or my mission. People would get the wrong idea, and that might prevent me from carrying out my mission."
Nu'Daq wavered. He could relate to her situation. If the tables were turned, he would have done the same. But he was the Chief of Security, how could he _not_ report this to the captain. Arsinoe could see in his face, that he wasn't sure.
"Please, Nu'Daq. If you pretend this has not happened,
I will be eternally grateful. It is very important to me to restore the honor
of my parents. Their honor is all that's left for me."
He looked at her. "Okay then. I will ignore this. But I will also keep
an eye on you. And if you in any way interfere with the operation of the ship
or cause dissension among the crew, I will report this to the captain. And one
word of caution: Be more careful with your transmissions. Let them go through
me, or someone might detect them. It seems like you still have a lot
to learn about the spy business."
Arsinoe's worried face turned into a smile. "Thank you, Nu'Daq. I will never forget this." Nu'Daq looked at her with a grave face.
"I will not _let_ you forget this. And remember: Any trouble, and I will
expose you." He then turned around and left her room. A thought came to
mind: "I need to know
more. I'll run her encoded transmission through the computer, maybe I can decode
it. Then I would be able to listen in on further transmissions". A slight
smile came to his face, as he went back towards the bridge.
**** Catava Okal ****
"What on earth was that all about?", I asked of Taite as we turned a corridor and left a hot-tempered Nu'Daq standing there glaring at us until we were out of site.
"It's nothing. Did you want to dine in my quarters or yours?" He held my arm gingerly.
"Taite Bergren, there is something going on between you and Nu'Daq, and I want to know what it is."
"Okay." He let go of my arm and put his hands up in the air. "Nu'Daq knew Lalaith."
That idea struck me as curious. The only woman other than Xenia I expected Nu'Daq to know would be his own mother. The more I thought about Lalaith, the more I realized since I had known Taite was on board, I was so enveloped in him I forgot to ask about his family. We stepped into a turbolift. I figured a public corridor or lift was no place to interrogate him about his animosity towards my friend. So, I changed the subject and decided to leave my questions until after we had dinner.
"I've been so dumbstruck since I realized you were here." He looked at me and flashed me a dimpled grin. "How is Lalaith?", I asked. His smile quickly faded. "What, did I say something...?"
His look grew hard and distant. He stood straight and looked straightforward. "Lalaith is dead."
"Oh, gods!" I gasped. I put one hand to my mouth and the other on his shoulder.
"She died during childbirth."
Lalaith was pregnant? Why didn't I know? I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The turbolift stopped and we exited as a young ensign and lieutenant were just stepping in.
"I'm so sorry Taite. I didn't know. If I could take it all back I would. I mean.."
"It's all right Catava." He tried a haphazard grin and brushed away a stray lock of hair from my risen forehead. "I'll see you tonight. Why don't we have dinner in your quarters? You haven't spent a whole evening there since you had them reassigned."
He was right. "Okay. But I can't stay up too late. I have to do a diagnostic on the dilithium matrix and recalibrate the matter anti-matter converters tomorrow. I want to get an early start." I hugged him tightly. "I'm really, really sorry Taite.", I whispered. I then kissed his earlobe.
"I know.", He said, still clutching me around the waist. He set me down. "I'll see you at 1900 hours then?"
I nodded. With that we walked away from each other. I checked in with my superiors, and did a few tweaks here and there. Two hours whizzed away in no time.
"Computer, locate Lieutenant Taite Bergren."
"Lieutenant Bergren is in Ensign Okal's quarters."
Perfect! I would come home to dinner. That never happens. I walked at a speedy pace to my quarters and was excited when the scents of dinner were wafting underneath the door. The vilm steaks and the tuwaly pie created inexplicable scents that caused rumblings in my stomach. Taite was sitting at a completely furnished table, sipping at a flute of sapphire wine.
"How did you do all of this?" I asked as I sat down.
"To you immediate left, you'll see a marvelous invention called the replicator." He grinned at me and took a rather large sip of wine. He topped off his drink and poured some for me.
We ate dinner and reminisced of old times. We then retired to the sofa.
"How is your mother?" I asked.
"She's doing well. She still lives in Oslo. That's the only city on earth that has the mental specialist she needs." He stared at his glass and swirled the blue liquid.
"How long has she been ill?" I asked.
"Since Lalaith died. It was difficult, losing a daughter she loved and a grandchild she would never know."
"I wasn't aware Lalaith was going to have a baby."
"This was a few years ago. When I left to enter Starfleet's special corps, I was stationed on Betazed. My family moved there as well. Father was selling his shuttlecraft components and mother and Lalaith went with him. It was there that Lalaith conceived her child."
"I see.", was all I could muster. "Did she marry? The father I mean?"
"No." He poured himself some more of the wine we brought with us to the sofa.
"How did he take it? He must have been devastated." I didn't want to press on much further. These questions were making him very uneasy.
"He doesn't know."
"You didn't tell him? That Lailath and their baby were. gone?"
He was getting angry. "No Catava. We didn't tell him. Because he wasn't there. He left her, high and dry." He downed his glass of wine and stood.
I sat up straight. "He doesn't know? Don't you think that he has the right ."
Taite cut me off. "He doesn't have any rights!" He bent down to look at me closely. "You don't understand! This is more complicated than it seems."
I know we had been separated a long time, but this behavior was unlike anything I'd ever seen Taite display. He was livid and full of hatred. "What do you mean 'complicated'?" I asked. I wasn't sure if I had used the right words.
He was pacing. "Do you remember when I said that Nu'Daq knew Lalaith?"
"Yes."
"Lalaith's baby was half Klingon!" He threw his glass in the corner. It had just barely finished shattering and flying all over the place before he stormed out of my quarters.
*** Xenia Rafko ****
It was nearly 1900 hours before I returned to my quarters. It had been a fairly quiet afternoon and after all the excitement of all the past few days, I was very glad for the peace.
I had data PADDs piling up, so I curled up on the sofa with a cup of orange spice tea - an addiction I had picked up from a Terran friend - and a blanket to review the PADDs. After about an hour, the door chimed.
"Come," I called. It was Okal, all dressed up and looking radiantly happy; I could guess the source of her excitement. "Taite?"
"Yes," she affirmed, sitting opposite me. I leaned forward, eager for any gossip she had to share.
"It must be nice to see such a good friend again," I said slyly. Okal's eyes widened in a mock show of shyness. "Come on, Catava, did you know he would be on this ship?"
"No," she said honestly. "But it's been good to be back with him. It's like putting on a pair of old shoes - we fit so comfortably again."
"That's good to hear," I said.
"Did you want to see me about something earlier? You mentioned plans for tomorrow night. Sorry. I got caught up with Taite and didn't get a chance to stop by sickbay."
"That's all right. I finished up some crew physicals and got to know my staff," I said. "But I did need your help. You know, the Day of Honor is coming up in a few days and I thought it would be nice to do something for Nu'Daq. He takes these Klingon rituals very seriously."
Okal's face clouded over, "I don't know, Xenia, if that's a good idea."
"What do you mean?"
She sighed, "I shouldn't say anything."
Now my curiosity was piqued. "Okay, out with it, Catava."
"It's about Nu'Daq and Taite."
"Finally!" I exclaimed. "He won't tell me what's going on with Taite. It concerns me that he would keep something from me."
"He was involved with Taite's sister a few years back on Betazed."
I shrugged, "So? His lovers, while we were apart, don't concern me. It was not like I was exactly faithful either."
"They had a child together."
I looked at Okal, my jaw dropping.
"A child?" I croaked out. "Are you sure?"
"Taite said so. Said the child was half-Klingon, was Nu'Daq's and the mother died in childbirth."
"Where is this child now?" I asked, feeling my heart absolutely stop.
"Taite won't say, only that the child is `gone', whatever that means. I get a feeling though that he doesn't want to say where the child is."
"But he or she is alive?"
"I think so, yes," Okal leaned forward. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way."
"How old...?"
"Probably five years old."
I leaned back, "He didn't waste any time, did he?"
"I don't understand."
"Nu'Daq and I separated five years ago," I said. "And this... the fact that I can't give him what he wants, that's why we separated. Apparently, he didn't miss me too much."
Okal knitted her hands together, "Are you going to be all right?"
"I performed a physical on a Cardassian today," I told her. "I'm going to be fine."
"I heard about the Cardassian," she said. "Crazy."
"About tomorrow night..." my voice drifted. I didn't know what to think, what to do now.
"Get back to me. Whatever you do, I'll support you," Okal offered.
"Thanks, you're a good friend."
After Okal was gone, I leaned back on the sofa, rubbing my eyes. I don't know how long I sat there, the PADDs forgotten on my lap. Sometime later, I got up to change, picking out the first thing my hand landed on - a silky slip of a cranberry color purchased from Garak.
And then, I sat on the sofa, and waited. I didn't have to wait too long; Nu'Daq showed up around 2100 hours.
"I thought we would have dinner together," he said looking around, noting the obvious lack of food.
"Not tonight," I answered, getting up from the sofa. He tried to hug me but I pushed away. "Don't touch me, please."
"What happened?"
"When were you going to tell me about you and Taite's sister?" I asked in a low voice.
Nu'Daq actually looked angry, "My personal affairs during the time you left me are none of your concern."
I noted the stress he placed on "left" and it made me even angrier.
"What about the child?" I asked. "Were you ever going to say anything about the child?"
Now Nu'Daq looked surprised. "The child? What child?"
"Your child," I spat out. "Have you been lying to me? Is it only because *she* is dead that you are even here now? I wasn't wrong before and I was a fool to think that anything had changed!"
"Lalaith is dead? I don't believe it. You must be wrong. She cannot be dead," Nu'Daq said. "You are lying."
His reaction made me even more angry; it was obvious from his tone of voice that he still had feelings, strong feelings, for... that woman. I resented that, only because I never had had any lingering feelings for those I had been involved with in the past five years - usually, those affairs lasted less than a few months with the understanding that neither of us were looking for long-term commitment. But this was different... Nu'Daq *cared* for this woman.
"No, I'm not," I said. "That's what Catava told me. And it shouldn't matter if she is alive or dead... unless you love her still!"
"Xenia," Nu'Daq was very angry now. I moved behind the sofa, just in case he decided to hurl his mek'leth at me. "It is not appropriate to speak ill of the dead."
"I'm sorry she is dead. Are you happy?" I spat out. "It doesn't change the fact that there *is* a child. He or she is five years old, meaning I hadn't even been gone for very long before you decided..." I couldn't even finish the statement. "I want you out, I can't even think right now... I can't believe you would do this to me."
We stood there in the darkness and I felt very cold, so suddenly cold. And tired, so very tired.
"I did not think I would see you again," Nu'Daq's voice was harsh. "I intended to live my life as it should have been... with you."
"I'm glad you found someone so quickly," I told him bitterly. "What would happened if I had stayed? Would you have done the same thing, found some woman and had a child with her and then flaunt it in my face?"
Nu'Daq did not answer and I knew why he wouldn't speak; the answer would be "yes." I could feel my chest tightening, knew I would have problems breathing and I didn't want *him* to see me like that.
"I think you should go," I said. "Now."
**** Nu'Daq ****
All these emotions were almost too much for Nu'Daq. His insides turned and swirled and he felt dizzy for a moment. The happiness of having a child, the sorrow over Lalaith's death, the anger at Taite and Okal for telling Xenia, fear of Xenia's present reaction. He didn't want to lose Xenia. He loved her more than anything - or did he? The idea of having a child was attractive, especially since Xenia couldn't give him one.
Xenia looked at him. Her anger was apparent. Sorrow was in her eyes, mixed with hatred, shame and regret. All the feelings Nu'Daq didn't want to see in her pretty face. Why did fate have to play so many tricks on Nu'Daq and Xenia. All Nu'Daq wanted was to have a happy life together with Xenia, but somehow there always came something up, something that could drive them apart.
"I think you should go," she said. "Now."
"No!"
Xenia turned away from him. "Go away, or I will call security and have you thrown out."
"I won't go. We have to talk about this. You've got it all wrong." Nu'Daq took a few steps towards Xenia, but she went backwards. She reached for her communicator.
"Rafko to Security".
Nu'Daq looked at her, his eyes tried to catch hers, tried to convince her to
let him stay. After a few seconds
Arsinoe answered Xenia's call.
"Security, Arsinoe here. How can I help you, ma'am?" Xenia still wouldn't look Nu'Daq in the eyes. "Send a security team to my quarters, I have an uninvited guest."
"Right away, ma'am".
At that moment Nu'Daq activated his communicator. "Nu'Daq to Arsinoe. Belay that order."
"Sir, but... how... why...." You could hear the confusion in Arsinoe's voice. Xenia raised her head and looked straight in Nu'Daq's eyes with a look of defiance.
"Ensign, send a security team to my quarters to escort Lt. Nu'Daq out of here." Arsinoe hesitated, she was unsure what to do. Xenia tried to sound firm. "Ensign, that's a direct order. I outrank the lieutenant. You will obey my order."
"But ma'am....."
A moment of silence ensued. Arsinoe was not sure what to do. After what seemed like forever Nu'Daq broke the silence.
"Ensign, you will disobey the commander's orders. You owe it to me, remember?"
Arsinoe was silent for a moment. "I am sorry, ma'am. I can't help you. Arsinoe out".
And then the communicators were silent.
Xenia was more angry than ever. "What does a woman have to do to get rid of you? Can't you understand? I want nothing to do with you. Not now, not ever! Do you expect me to just forgive you?"
Nu'Daq looked at her and calmed his voice. "No, because there is nothing to forgive. Please, Xenia. Hear me out. If not for you or me, then for the times we had in the past. Hear me out, and if you still want me to leave, I will go and never come back."
Xenia looked at him. Nu'Daq took her silence as a sign for him to keep talking. Nu'Daq came a bit closer and now stood in the middle of Xenia's quarters.
"Every day for the past 5 years I have regretted the argument we had the night before you left. It was not right for me to blame you for your illness. You know how much a family means to me, and the idea of never having children clouded my judgment. My heart was heavy, because I was convinced I would never have a child - because I still believed we would be together forever. And even if my words said otherwise that night, my heart still told me that I loved you. And if the hurt of learning of your infertility was great, the hurt of you leaving was greater. It was the saddest day of my life. You are my soul mate. I've known that since the day I met you. But then you left without a word, and I could feel a big piece of my soul leaving with you." Nu'Daq paused. He looked at her, but it didn't seem like he had made an impression.
"About a year later I met Lalaith. She was a very pretty girl, nice and gentle. She had a forgiving and kind soul, and in many ways she reminded me of you. Perhaps that's why I fell in love with her." Nu'Daq heard a slight gasp from Xenia. "Yes, I did fall in love with her. Any man would. I'm not sure why she returned my affection, but she did. And the time we spent together was a happy time. It reminded me of the time with you. But her family was opposed to our relationship and finally gave her the choice between me and them. I made the choice for her and left. Since then I have been alone. And now you ask: Did I love her? Yes. Do I still care for her? Yes. Do I feel sorrow at her death? Yes. How can I not? We had a happy time together. But you accuse me of being with her, because she could give me a child. That is not true. Would I have left her then? No, I was with her, because I like all other beings feel the need to share my life with someone. If my heart could decide, this someone should be you. But at the time it seemed impossible. So I had to settle for someone else. Lalaith. I didn't even know she was pregnant until you told me just now."
"After I left Lalaith it seemed like I would never meet a woman of my liking. Every woman I saw I compared to you, and none came even close. If I just wanted to find a woman to mate with in order to get an heir, I would have a horde of children back on Qo'noS. But I don't. I have been with only one woman in 5 years, because I love you. I don't know what I have to do to convince you. But I can tell you this: my idea of a perfect life is a life with you. Anything else is unimportant."
Nu'Daq looked at her. He wasn't sure, if her mood had changed. She still refused to look at him. He continued.
"One thing I can do. A thing I have thought about, since we rejoined last week. I will swear the Oath with you."
Nu'Daq wasn't sure this was the right thing to do. Xenia had always been a
restless soul and afraid of commitment.
But Nu'Daq kept going. He rose to his full height and clutched his hands into
fists so hard, that his nails made his hand bleed. He raised his voice and initiated
his part of the Oath, the Klingon marriage proposal. He heard
his own voice, it sounded as firm and certain as ever. He heard the words come
from his mouth, the invitation for a mate to accept the marriage proposal.
He heard himself say: "jiH dok" loud and clear. Then there was silence. With a beating heart he awaited Xenia's response....
**** Veena Pari ****
Veena, still a little exhausted over her introduction to the Valjean, decided that maybe wondering the corridors wasn't the best idea. So she pointed her feet in the direction of her quarters. She passed a few crew members, most of which she did not recognize. But she smiled just the same and greeted them all. Pari then looked down, yawned and walked on.
"Ouch!" Veena said as she ran into a crew member. She was a little
thrown of balance and almost fell over but was caught. "Thank you, I'm
so clumsy and...." Her voice trailed off as she looked up and saw the Cardassian
Ensign Leget. Pari's mouth was wide open but she was unable to make any sounds
come out. She managed to pull herself up,
quite ungracefully.
**** Rafko ****
"One thing I can do. A thing I have thought about, since we rejoined last
week. I will swear the Oath
with you," Nu'Daq said. "jiH dok."
The oath? If I thought I was going to pass out before, I certainly was going
to now. Was he crazy? We had so
many problems in front of us, so many things to work out and he proposed marriage?
One thing was for sure -
I would never understand this Klingon of mine.
Klingon of mine. I liked the sound of that, had always liked the sound of that.
And what was more important,
we hadn't always been at loggerheads like this.
We had both changed over the course of the five years we had been apart and
it was too much to expect that
we would still be the same people we had been.
Nu'Daq had never talked about marriage before, and I had never dared to bring
it up. I felt it unspoken
somewhere that his family would not accept me and that he would not oppose their
wishes; and so the subject
had never come up.
That fact that he was proposing now was not insignificant.
I shivered - my thin nightgown was not warm enough for the chilliness between us.
"You think that's the solution?" my voice was harsher than I wanted
it to be. "We get married and all of our
problems will go away?"
Nu'Daq shifted his weight, "I did not say that. I am merely declaring my intentions. I wish to marry you."
"Why? Because Lalaith or whatever her name is dead?"
"You did not use to be this angry," Nu'Daq observed calmly. "I
have explained myself and now I have made
an offer. What is your answer?"
This was unbelievable, absolutely unbelievable. He did not understand, could
not understand, how complete his
betrayal was.
But at the same time, I found myself slowly forgiving. He was right; I had
not been this angry five years ago
but then, a lot had happened in five years, making me the person I am today.
"Do you love me?" he persisted.
It was an odd question to ask and not necessarily one I knew the answer to.
At one time in my life, I was
very certain of the answer; now, things were not so clear.
"I do not doubt my feelings for you," Nu'Daq continued. "They have been ever constant, unchanging."
"I don't think I know you anymore," I said finally. "You are not the man I remember."
"That was not the question I asked."
The day's events were starting to wear on me and I went into the bedroom; Nu'Daq
followed, much to my
annoyance.
"What are you doing?" he asked as I opened my medkit.
"It is none of your concern," I heard myself saying. I regretted
the words immediately. "I'm sorry. That was
uncalled for."
"Apology accepted."
I filled a hypospray and then paused, turning to face Nu'Daq.
"We don't trust each other," I said finally. "Before we can get married, that has to change."
"I agree," Nu'Daq said.
I handed him the hypospray, "I don't think I could marry you without telling
you everything. It wouldn't
be... honorable."
Nu'Daq fingered the hypospray, "So then you agree to take the oath?"
I offered him a smile, hoping to cover up my nervousness.
"I suppose so, yes," I said. I lifted my hair off of my neck. "Please, inject here."
Afterwards, we curled up together on the sofa, talking in low voices. My earlier
anger, admittedly
irrational, was gone, and I found myself telling Nu'Daq of past lovers and other
things I had sworn to
keep from him.
He was silent for most of my confession, listening intently, his fingers woven
together with mine. There
were moments when he bristled with anger, but for the most part, he was calm
- more like the man I
remembered.
"And by the way," I said to him at one point. "If you ever disobey an order of mine again..."
He laughed softly, "Understood, sir."
We lay there together on the sofa for much of the night and then, he asked, "When?"
"When what?"
"When do you want to get married?"
"You pick," I suggested. "Any time is as good as another. We have a year, right?"
"Yes," he said reluctantly and I got the feeling he did not like
what I was indirectly proposing. "We may
not have much time."
And *I* didn't like what he was insinuating.
"We could get blown up by the Romulans in the next two minutes,"
I pointed out. "Or that Cardassian on board
could drive a knife through my back. Nothing is certain."
"That is my point," he said.
I got up from the sofa; I was very tired and did not want to talk anymore.
"Let's go to bed," I suggested. "We can discuss times and dates later on."
It was only later, when I leaned over to kiss him good night that I whispered
in his ear, "Is there something
you haven't told me?"
His only response was his even breathing.
***** Nu'Daq ****
It was the morning after. The morning after the most curious day in Nu'Daq's life. Yesterday had started out like any other day on the bridge of a Starfleet vessel. Then the encounter with Taite. The argument with Xenia, followed by their reconciliation. And now they were engaged to be married.
Nu'Daq looked at Xenia. She was still asleep. She was breathing easily and a smile was on her lips. Nu'Daq cherished the sight, Xenia always looked prettiest in her sleep. Nu'Daq turned and positioned himself laying on his back. After Xenia's acceptance of his marriage proposal his life had turned upside down. What was to happen now? They had had a long and personal talk last night, where Xenia told him a lot about what she had been doing the last 5 years. Personal stuff. Who she had dated, how long, why...
She had told him that she had no feelings for any of her past relationships. This was an unknown concept to Nu'Daq. He had only loved a few women, and his feelings for them stayed, even though he wasn't with them anymore. Xenia seemed more like the kind of girl, who fell into love and out of love very quickly. But Nu'Daq could also feel, that her feelings for him were stronger and more lasting. And he knew they were meant to be together. Forever.
They had talked for hours. A lot of things came out into the open. As Xenia had said, the only obstacle still left on their way to happiness was trust. They had to trust each other. Completely. And in order to do so, they needed to be absolutely honest to each other. And their conversation had brought them a long way towards it.
But somehow Nu'Daq still felt there were something she was withholding from him. Perhaps she thought he didn't notice, but he could see it in her eyes, feel it in her soul. Especially when he brought up the subject of her illness, her infertility. She never had given any details about what had happened to her in the Bajoran prison camp during the Occupation. She had told him, that she needed daily hormone injections due to her ovary disease, but he wasn't sure this was the whole truth. Nu'Daq looked at her face again. She was still sleeping. She would tell him, when she was ready for it. Nu'Daq couldn't imagine what she had gone through. But he could wait to find out. Until she wanted him to know.
Then there was the question of their wedding. In Klingon society the wedding should take place within a year. But how long should they wait? Should they have the wedding now? Were they ready for it? Nu'Daq thought about it for a while. Perhaps it would be best to wait at least a few months. Xenia only accepted his marriage proposal hesitantly, there was no need to pressure her for a quick wedding.
And then there was the question of his child. Was Lalaith's child still alive? He hoped so. This was a chance for Xenia and he to have a child. Nu'Daq would not dream of being with another woman than Xenia. Not even to have a child. So this child seemed like a gift from Kahless. If only Xenia could accept the child. They had not discussed the subject last night. He would have to talk to Xenia about it, but he would have to do it gently. However, he would first have to find out, if the child was still alive.
Xenia started to move gently. He leaned over her and woke her with a kiss on her cheek. She opened her eyes and smiled at him.
"Good morning, my love", he said to her. She replied it with a passionate kiss. Nu'Daq got up and went to the replicator. He realized he was still naked, but it didn't bother him. He ordered a breakfast of raktajino, orange juice and hasperaat. It was Xenia's favorite breakfast.
They enjoyed a pleasant morning meal. They didn't talk much, they just enjoyed the intimacy of each others' presence. Nu'Daq had always believed, that the fact that two people could spent time together without the need to talk, was a sure sign of friendship and love. Xenia was the only person, he could be one on one with and feel comfortable with in complete silence.
After they had finished their breakfast, Nu'Daq took a sonic shower and got dressed. He kissed Xenia again, and they made a date for dinner that night.
He told her, he would go to the bridge, but as the doors closed behind him, he took of in another direction. He activated a computer panel.
"Computer, locate Lieutenant Taite." The answer came promptly.
"Lieutenant Taite is in Ensign Okal's quarters".
Nu'Daq continued towards Okal's quarters.
He reached the door and chimed. It took a few minutes, before the door opened. Okal greeted him clad only in a night shirt.
"Nu'Daq? Errrhmmm, hello. What can I do for you?" She looked surprised to see him.
"I want to talk to Taite. Now!"
Go to Log Eighteen
Back to JEWEL RPG Homepage
Back to WDFA