***Nu'Daq ***

"I know you don't, but eventually all of this will come back and haunt you in the future. You have to stop this self-destructive behavior. It doesn't do you any good."

Nu'Daq smiled a little bit thinking about her concerns. For a moment it was just like old times.

"I do not care," he replied

Xenia looked at him and said: "But I care."

Nu'Daq looked at her. He saw into her beautiful eyes. He could see, she was telling the truth. He wasn't sure what to think of it. Like Katja had said, he still had feelings for her. But her betrayal still hurt, he wasn't ready to love her again - and he might never be.

Xenia looked back at him: "Why were you so upset at Worf's decision? It was a honorful and kind decision. Why did you want a court martial? Have I hurt you so much, that you want to have me court martialed?"

Nu'Daq could see in Xenia's face, that she didn't believe Nu'Daq wanted to hurt her career. Shoudl he tell her? Somehow he didn't seem to be able to resist.

"I am sorry, Xenia. I never meant to drag you into this. Your career is going well. I can see, you have grown to like Starfleet. But I do not belong in Starfleet. The only reason why I'm still here is, that I was ordered by the High Council to serve in Starfleet. And I don't want to dishonor myself by disobeying that order. A court martial seemed like a way out."

Xenia could see the hurt in Nu'Daq's eyes. What had happened to make him hurt like that? Xenia was afraid to ask....

Nu'Daq continued: "I never told you this, but my parents were killed in a skirmish between Starfleet and the Klingon Imperial Forces. They were ambushed by a Federation Starship while delivering supplies to a Klingon outpost. Their ship didn't stand a chance..." Nu'Daq fell silent. Xenia was surprised to hear this. No wonder Nu'Daq had been so aggressive since he came onboard. Having to serve in the very same Starfleet, who had been the cause of his parents' death. He must be falling apart.

"I am sorry to hear that, my friend. Have you thought about seeing Katja? Maybe she can help." Looking at Nu'Daq's face Xenia realised this was a bad suggestion.

"No, I do not trust her or anyone else regarding my personal life."

"So why did you tell me now?", Xenia asked, looking at Nu'Daq with her gentle eyes.

Nu'Daq felt the feelings from back then coming to him. It was true, he still loved her. And perhaps she still loved him. Maybe there still was a chance they could be together. He wanted to tell her, that he still loved her, that they should try again....

Nu'Daq took a deep breath. It was now or never. "That is because, my dear Xenia, I still l..."

He was interrupted by Bashir, who came towards them."I am sorry to interrupt, but I have to go Bajor now to meet a colleague. I just wanted to know, Xenia, if we are still on for our date tonight?"

"Oh no", Xenia thought, "not now". She could see the anger rise in Nu'Daq's eyes.

Nu'Daq rose to his full height. He came towards Bashir. Bashir looked at him, his voice was trembling a little bit, as he uttered: "What have I said?". Nu'Daq grabbed Bashir by the collar and smashed him into the wall. He heard Xenia shouting "No, Nu'Daq, don't!" from behind, but he ignored it. He looked into Bashir's eyes and said: "You keep your filthy little hands off her, or I _will_ kill you with my bare hands". Nu'Daq was so upset as he had never been before. Suddenly he felt Xenia's hand on his arm. Her gentle voice came to him as in a dream: "Nu'Daq, please. Let him go." Nu'Daq let go off Bashir, who dropped to the floor. Nu'Daq turned to Xenia and calmly said: And once again you betray me, betray us."

Xenia watched him leave the infirmery. She wanted to say something, to explain everything, but she didn't know what to say. She turned her attention towards Bashir, who had gotten up. "Are you okay, Julian?" "Yes, I'm fine. What's with this guy anyway?"

Xenia looked at Julian, but wasn't sure what to say.....

***Rafko ***

"And once again you betray me, betray us."

The words cut through me, stirring up old feelings of guilt, long dormant. I tried to make eye contact with Nu'Daq but he had already brushed past me. I wanted to follow him, to calm him down, but a soft gasp from Julian stopped me in my tracks.

I looked over at Julian, who was bleeding from a gash directly above his eye. He looked a bit pale.

"Are you okay, Julian?"

"Yes, I'm fine. What's with this guy anyway?"

I sighed.

"There's a lot of things," I said quietly. "More things than I can possibly explain."

"You might want to try," Bashir said as he indicated the dermal regenerator still in my hand. "Captain Worf will certainly have questions if this kind of violent behavior persists."

I figured Nu'Daq was long gone and he probably needed time to calm down - away from me. I sighed. This was crazy; we couldn't possibly serve together on the Valjean if this was the way it was going to be.

"Nu'Daq and I were... involved," I said carefully as I ran the regenerator over Bashir's brow. "Five years ago, it ended. It was my fault. I walked out on him. I didn't mean to, but I did."

Bashir said, "What happened?"

"I needed time, space," I said. "I needed to be away from Starfleet and from all the rigid boundaries that defined my existence for so long. I wanted to explore, free from constraints."

"Is that why you took a leave of absence from Starfleet?" he asked. He flinched slightly as my fingers pressed against his forehead.

"One of the reasons," I said. "Yes. But it meant leaving Nu'Daq. I promised to return, but he was very angry about my decision. We fought terribly and I knew that night that if I stayed, to make amends, I would never leave. So I just did."

"And so he is still angry," Bashir said.

"He has every right to be," I said. "Sometimes, when I look at him, I think that things could be like they used to be, and then I realize, we aren't the same people anymore. More than anything else, that hurts. I miss being with him. There's this part of me that will - and can - never forget him. If I had known Nu'Daq would be assigned to the Valjean, I would have never accepted this assignment."

"You two are going to have to learn to work together," Bashir said sensibly. "You can't go into peace talks warring with each other. It's not right."

I sighed as I put the dermal regenerator down. The first time I had seen Nu'Daq was in a smoky bar on a dilapidated starbase over ten years ago. I had been serving my first tour of duty at Starbase 591, one of the older starbases in the Federation. In addition to its rather ragged state, Starbase 591 also served as the unofficial headquarters for the Maquis in the area.

When hostilities broke out in earnest between the Cardassians (along with a little prompting from the Dominion) and the Federation, the starbase was flooded not only with the random vorta or jem'hadar, but also with Cardassian soldiers and Maquis smugglers.

In medicine, there are no good guys or bad guys. You treat them all equally and without prejudice.

I had just ended my shift in the Infirmary and wanting to relax a bit with my friends, I had headed towards the bar. My timing was terrible; I somehow arrived at the same instance as two Cardassian soldiers.

They immediately cornered me, screaming at me, and one even pulled out a flat, sharp-looking steel object, holding it against my breastbone. I understood only one word in the string of obscenities they yelled at me: Maquis.

"No," I said. "You've got it wrong. I'm a doctor. A Starfleet doctor."

I could feel the blade pressing against my neck, its sharp point just against my collar bone. A little more pressure and the skin broke. I gasped out. The Cardassians jeered at me, taunting me. Others stood and watched, either afraid or amused.

What happened next was never quite clear to me and Nu'Daq never explained; the two Cardassians were gone -one dead and the other severely incapacitated. In their place was this huge Klingon.

"Are you all right?" he had asked gruffly.

"I am now, thank you," I gasped. "Who are you?"

"Nu'Daq. I am here with the Klingons."

"Xenia Rafko," I said, slumping into a bar stool. "I'm a doctor here. Starfleet."

"Do you require assistance, Dr. Xenia?" he asked.

I smiled at him; he had made the mistake most made when they first met me.

"Rafko," I said. "My first name is Xenia. Last name Rafko."

"You are Bajoran," he stated. "I do not understand."

"It's a long story," I said, pressing my fingers to my neck to curtail any bleeding.

Nu'Daq fixed me with his dark, liquid gaze, "I have time."

As the cliche goes, one thing led to another. A quiet talk along the Promenade turned into an evening on the holodeck. Soon I found myself aching to get off of shift just so I could see Nu'Daq. I would find him in my quarters, often with dinner ready, and some grand plans on how to spend the evening.

"Xenia?"

I jerked back to the present.

"I'm sorry, Julian," I said. "I was daydreaming."

"I could see that," he said with a grin. "Are you done with me?"

I examined his forehead carefully.

"You'll have a little bruising tomorrow," I said. "But nothing serious."

"Good to hear," his gaze traveled to Kasoumi. "Excuse me while I return to my patient..."

"By all means," I said. I busied myself with putting away some of the medical equipment which Nu'Daq had knocked over.

Nu'Daq had never been quite this violent before. He had always been gentle - for a Klingon, this is.

Shortly after we met, Nu'Daq's commanding officer had transferred him to a joint Starfleet-Klingon outpost on the very edge of Federation space, just a few light years from Bajor.

"You must come with me," Nu'Daq had urged.

"But what kind of life would that be?" I asked. "You will always be off fighting somewhere and I'll be sitting home waiting for you."

Nu'Daq's voice dropped, "It will be more... bearable... if you are there."

And so I gave in and put in for the transfer. Life on Rigus Prime - the small moon where the outpost was - was not easy. Nu'Daq was often gone for months at a time and I would grow lonely waiting for him to return. Plus we were at the edge of Federation space so we rarely got news of current events in a timely manner.

The more time I spent alone, the more I longed for Bajor.

I finished putting away the medical equipment and leaned back, surveying the Infirmary. Bashir caught my eye.

"You never answered my question," he said quietly. "Are we on for tonight?"

"Of course," I said brightly. "Don't worry about Nu'Daq. I can handle him."

"Are you sure?" Bashir looked at me in concern.

I nodded and then asked, "Julian, have you ever been so completely lost in someone else that you lose all reason?"

"It has been known to happen."

"No, I mean, that it would hurt to breathe if they were not near you."

He shook his head.

"That's how I feel about Nu'Daq," I said in a halting tone. "He was - and still is in some ways - everything I ever wanted or desired. But there were choices to be made and I have to live with the results of those choices. I gave up my career for him. I mean, I still practiced medicine for Starfleet, but I lost some of the opportunities available to me. I think I resented that a little."

Bashir said quietly, "During that year you were gone, did you find what you were looking for?"

I bit my lip back. How to answer that question without giving too much away? I shook my head.

"In some ways," I said. "I had to do it what I did. That was important then and I don't regret it now."

Bashir was about to speak but the doors to the Infirmary flew open.

It was Lt. Tenjou.

"I'm here for my physical," she said, her lip turning up into a sneer. "But only because I have to."

****Nu'Daq ****

"And once again, you betray me, betray us". The words kept repeating in Nu'Daq's head, as he rushed down the promenade. He felt hurt, as he had never been hurt before. Physical pain he could endure, maybe he even liked it. But now he felt like someone had reached into his chest and ripped out his soul.

People looked at him when he passed them. Most of them looked away and tried to ignore him, a few dared to look at his face - and regretted it. The look on Nu'Daq's face was that of a madman.

"And once again, you betray me, betray us". Anger. Fury. He was feeling it. It was burning in his venes. His muscles were tightening, his fingers curled into fists, his teeth bared in a devious grin.

He moved towards the docking ring. No one dared to stop him, to talk to him. And suddenly he was there; the Valjean.

He entered the ship, passing a few security guards. But they were familiar enough with his moods not to talk to him in his present condition.

He headed for the holodecks.

"Computer, Nu'Daq Meditation Programme". The familiar sound of the computer working hummed for a second - "Loaded. Enter when ready". Nu'Daq entered some modifications into the programme and entered.

A dense and misty atmosphere came to him. It was hot and humid, just the way he liked it. It was an open space in the midst of a klingon jungle. He could hear the animals far away. A flock of birds. A targh looking for food, some geckos and a deer. But none were close to him. He walked towards the small shrine in the middle of the open space. Simple in construction, a rectangular stone with delicate klingon inscriptions in the honor of Kahless.

Nu'Daq sat down in front of it and started his meditation. His soul grew quiet, the anger within him started to subside.

Suddenly he could hear two people, humans, coming towards him. The scent came to him and they were recognized, before a familiar voice broke the silence.

"Nu'Daq, are you OK?". It was the voice of Xenia. And she had dared to bring that #*!?# Bashir with her. Immediatly his anger was back. Had she no honor?

"What do you want?"; Nu'Daq grunted at her without looking at the two of them.

"Please, let us talk about this, about us. It cannot go on like this."

Nu'Daq rose to his feet and turned to look at them. He could see the sorrow in Xenia's eyes, but Bashir looked as smug as ever. Nu'Daq had hated him since he first saw him and his boyish appearance. And now he had the nerve to put his filthy hands on _his_ parmachai.

"Why? What good will it do?", Nu'Daq answered, looking at Bashir.

"Come on, Nu'Daq", Bashir said. "Xenia has a life of her own, and she has the right to choose whoever she wants to go out with. Just because the two of you have been lovers...."

Nu'Daq turned his head towards Xenia, the anger within him rising "You told him? You dishonored what we have by telling him?" Have you no honor? No respect?"

Xenia didn't know what to say. She knew how Nu'Daq felt about his personal life and regretted ever telling Bashir. Bashir, however, took the wrong approach and said: "Don't be stupid now, Nu'Daq"

This was too much for Nu'Daq. He let out a loud cry. "On top of all you have the nerve to call me stupid, you little man? This is it. Computer, lock the door, authorisation Nu'Daq Alpha Two. Override manual lock and command codes, implement security protocol Theta Seven Three."

Xenia and Bashir looked at him. "What are you doing", Xenia asked. Nu'Daq ignored her. "Computer, erect a subspace dampening field around the holodeck, authorisation Nu'Daq Alpha Two. Disengage holodeck safety protocols."

"Computer, two sets of mek'leth". Two sets of the knifelike klingon weapon appeared on the ground. Nu'Daq picked them up and tossed one set in front of Bashir.

"Now neither of you can open the door or use your communicator. Now we will fight". Bashir stood as was he petrified.

"Pick them up, you coward. I declare Right of Vengeance." Both Bashir and Xenia looked at him in surprise. "You can't be serious", Xenia said. But by looking in Nu'Daq's face she knew. He was dead-serious.

Bashir looked at Nu'Daq. "What do you mean? Do we have to fight?" Nu'Daq answered: "To the death". Bashir started to tremble a bit. "I won't do that". Nu'Daq smiled: "Then my victory will be that easier."

Nu'Daq lifted his mek'leth and came towards Bashir. Bashir had not much experience with close combat, but nevertheless raised his mek'leth, trying to defend himself.

Xenia tried to put her in the middle. "Stop this", she yelled. But Nu'Daq said: "Come in the middle, and you will die too". And Xenia realised there was nothing she could do. She pulled back and looked at the two men fighting. She was horrified.

Nu'Daq started to circle Bashir, trying to get to his left flank. He made at stab at him, but missed. The anger within him made him over-eager, and Bashir was able to cut Nu'Daq's arm. Nu'Daq pulled back, the physical pain in his left arm helped him focus. "Focus on the fight. Revenge is a dish best served cold, remember that", he told himself.

Nu'Daq came back towards Bashir. He looked Bashir straight in the face to read his mind. He could see the fear in Bashir's eyes. Nu'Daq bluffed a stab at Bashir's mid-section, which made Bashir take a swing at where Nu'Daq's head would have been. But instead Nu'Daq ducked and went under Bashir's arm, while jabbing his mek'leth deep into Bashir's side. Bashir let out a loud cry, he was hurt bad.

Nu'Daq pulled back again, and Bashir fell to the ground badly wounded. His mek'leth dropped to the floor. The fear in Bashir's face had grown to a horror. Nu'Daq came towards the incapacitated human.

Nu'Daq lifted his mek'leth for the final blow. Bashir's eyes pleaded for mercy, and Xenia rushed towards them. "Stop, Nu'Daq. Don't kill him." But when Xenia reached Nu'Daq, he grabbed her with one arm and pushed her away with a violent jerk. She landed several yards away. Nu'Daq lifted his mek'leth again, ignoring the screams of Xenia. And as he let the mek'leth slip into Bashir's throat, he felt satisfied. He could hear the life running out of Bashir, and he felt good. The anger within him grew silent, his blood cooled. And as he saw Bashir lying dead in front of him, he was content. Ignoring the crying Xenia he headed for the door.

"Computer, unlock doors, discontinue force field, disengage security protocol Theta Seven Three." The doors opened.

As he looked back, he saw Xenia kneeling at the dead body of Bashir, looking at him with tears in her eyes. "You killed him, you bastard. You killed him, just because he had a date with me."

Nu'Daq ignored her once again. "Computer, stop program". The klingon jungle disappeared together with the holo-images of Xenia and Bashir. And there was nothing left but the familiar black and yellow holodeck. And with a feeling of ease Nu'Daq headed for his quarters. He was content and at ease - for now.

***Katja ****

I was still sleeping, and would have been content to sleep until the next morning, when I felt it. A jolt of pure fury that only a Klingon could produce. I jerked awake.

"Nu'Daq," I whispered to myself, and sighed. I seemed to be more sensative to the feelings of Klingons than any other species, and Nu'Daq was no exception. I climbed out of the bed. I was going to talk to Nu'Daq. Whether he admitted or not, he needed a counslor, and I was the only one on the station. So, I pulled on a uniform and headed to his quarters.

******

When Nu'Daq entered the door, I felt anger from him. He didn't even seem too upset at my unexpected arrival.

"What?" he growled. Well, okay, maybe he wasn't exactly happy to see me, but he wasn't as angry I expected.

"Is everything... all right?" I asked, in the searching tone common to all counslors.

His eyes narrowed with suspicion. "My thoughts are my private affair. Keep out!"

I was getting tired of his paronia. "Look, Nu'Daq, I do *not* read minds without permission."

Nu'Daq raised his eyebrows. "Why should I believe you?"

I sighed. "My shields aren't that great, okay? And my mind automatically tunes in on any nearby Klingon minds. I felt your anger."

Nu'Daq still seemed doubtful. "It is not of your concern." He started to turn back into his quarters. I stopped him.

"Yes, Nu'Daq. It is. It's my job to look after the minds of everyone assigned to the Valjean, and that includes you."

"I don't want your help."

"I know." I had to admit, as a Klingon, I wouldn't want to talk to a counslor either. But then, I didn't have the problems Nu'Daq did. What am I saying? I don't even *know* what problems Nu'Daq has!

"Then leave," Nu'Daq hissed, in that way that only Klingons can.

I wasn't going to be intimidated by him. "No. You need my help. May I come in?"

Nu'Daq sighed, but moved to let me pass by. I sat down in a nearby chair.

"Now," I said, not at all sure of his response. "Talk."

***Nu'Daq ***

Nu'Daq entered his room and decided to lie down on his bed, or whatever was left of it. All sorts of thooughts and emotions were racing through his mind. Feelings, emotions, flashbacks. Thoughts of Xenia and him in the good days. The look on holo-Bashirs face as Nu'Daq killed him. Xenia's fair face, her effort to rescue him on the Rotarran. Flashbacks from his time in Klingon Intelligence. His parents, the look on his uncle's face, when he came to tell Nu'Daq, that his parents were dead. The feeling of Xenia's hand in his. A confusing mixture of memories, emotions and thoughts. How should he ever be able to clear his mind again.

The door bell chimed. Nu'Daq rose and went to the door, without even considering who it might be. For some reason he didn't care, about anything. It was Katja. He was surprised, what did she want....

"Is everything... all right?", she asked him. He certainly didn't feel like doing a counseling session, but for some reason he was not angry about her presence. Out of habit more than actual resentment he tried to get rid of her, but she insisted. And he let her in. She sat down in the only chair left in ine piece. "Now," she said. "Talk." And for the first time in his life he felt the need to confide in someone, to let his innermost out in the open. He sat down on the floor: "Okay, Katja, I hope you can handle the mind of a confused Klingon." And then he started to talk.

He talked for almost an hour. He told Katja everything about his feelings towards Xenia, his grief about his parents, his hatred for the Federation, which he now had to serve. And with the help of Katja he realised a couple of things. Xenia and he were different now, what had been could not be again. His parents now resided in Sto-Vo-Kor. And yes, he was going to see them again, but there was no need to join them pre-maturely. Better to live long and honorably than to die young. And lats but not least: Yesterday's enemy can be tomorrows friend.

When Katja left him after an hour, Nu'Daq was feeling better. His mind was silent again. And somewhere deep down inside him he was looking forward to the next day, to start their mission. This might after all turn out to be a really good mission...... Nu'Daq got up from his meditation and went out on the Promenade to find a nice restaurant, where he could sit silently for himself and enjoy a nice dinner. Yes, this might after all turn out to be a really good mission

***Okal ***

I had a very good sleep. After running around the station and fleeing aboard the Rotarran, I had been exhausted. I stretched my arms and listened for all the usual signs. I heard the environmental controls humming quietly. From my quarters I could see the edge of the wormhole. In a half hour it would disappear from sight. I was lucky. I'm only an ensign (for now) but I was lucky enough to get a room with a window. I stretched my legs onto the floor.

"Computer, time." I stated. Being the first thing I had said in a while, I was a bit raspy.

"The time is 1300 hours."

I was surpised. I had known I was tired, but I didn't expect to be out of bed at thirteen-noon. That was another thing that I had gotten used to living on this station was the earth standard 26-hour days. Very different.

I walked to my replicator. I thought a moment. "Fresh alva halves sprinkled with sugar and chilled bolian tonic water." Yes, that would be a good lunch.

"Replicator is offline"

I was puzzled at first, but then I remembered a memo from last week or so. Scheduled maintenance. I had a quick sonic shower, slipped into a clean uniform, piled the soiled ones in a corner in the bathroom so I could put them in the replicator later and headed for the replimat. I was famished. An evening of dancing followed by stealthy activity does increase one's appetite.

I passed by the Klingon restaurant and saw Nu'Daq. He didn't look away when he saw me, so maybe he was in a good mood. I decided to venture in. It had been a while since I had the pleasure of dining on Klingon cuisine. The last time I was here was three months ago when I had decided to try my hand at gagh. I orderd some bithrool gagh, and to my dismay a few of them stuck to my upper lip and would not detatch themselves. Perhaps they were fighting back at the prospect of being devoured, but I don't think I'll ever order gagh of any variety again.

Nu'Daq was chomping heartily away at some bregit lung. He motioned for me to join him. This was surprising. I sat ordered some broiled krada legs and waited. What was I supposed to say?

"Klingon furniture is much firm than federation issue. A warrior doesn't like 'soft'". He paused to drink some bloodwine.

"What?" I asked. My krada legs had arrived and I was focused on those now.

"You look uncomfortable." He stated. He took another huge bite of his lung.

"Listen Nu'Daq, you and I have never really been friends. I saw you in here, I was just going to be neighbourly and say hello, but you motioned me here. I don't know why." Since Klingon culture has never depended on eating utensils, I picked up one of my legs and began to chew.

"You are actually just the person I wanted to see." He said it so matter-of-factly that he didn't see the reaction on my face. His lung was almost gone by now.

I swallowed what was in my mouth before asking, "What do you mean? I don't understand why you'd want to see me."

He wiped his mouth with the back of his right hand. He was actually smiling. I had never seen Nu'Daq smile. Not even once. "I have come to a decision. And you are going to help me."

He downed the rest of his bloodwine. I really didn't understand.

***Emallia Janor ***

As I sat in Bashir's office, waiting for him to come in for the day, the events of the last few nights came flooding back. My curiosity was killing me. I had heard that Katja was all right, but the details were a little less than clear when it came to Nu'Daq. I hope he's okay and he works this. . . what ever it is, out. I always kinda knew about him and Rafko, I've always been able to read people. Shoulda been a counselor, but "You dreamt what? You think you what? You're crazy, get out of my office! NEXT!!!!!!" to put it mildly. Oh well, not everyone's perfect. The one thing that really bothers me is that they all let me sleep through the excitement! The nerve! I mean, I'm all for playinng cowboy, er, girl. It's what I joined Starfleet for. The spirit of James T. Kirk and Kathryn Janeway runs strong in my viens.

"Ah, you're early." Julian said with a smile as he saw me on the bio bed.

"For once," I said with a smile. "So, what happened with Nu'Daq and Katja?" I asked eagerly.

"I knew you were going to ask that, and my answer is that you have to ask them. Doctor patient confidentiality you knnow. Fouls up a great many things," he said as he finished scaning me and moved on to the other requierments of the physical.

"Can't you and that brain of yours just, oh I dunno, accedentally let it slip? Friend to friend? Please?" I whined with thoes little puppy dog eyes I knew he couldn't resist.

"No. Now stop looking at me like that. Does this hurt?" he asked as he poked and taped various places.

"No. Well, where is everyone now?"

"In bed, hopefully. Other than that, I have no idea. Why would I know?"

"I dunno. Just wonderin'. Can I go now?"

"Yes. NO sugar for brekfast either." he said with a warning even I could smell a mile away.

"Hey, I only did that once. . . " he stared at me, "Okay, 4 times, but, come on, give me a little credit."

"Not even a micro miligram," he said with a smile. "Come on, I'll buy," he said as he gestured to the door.

***Rafko ***

"I'll deal with her," Bashir said in a low but firm voice as my face drooped at the sign of Tenjou. I did want to talk with her, but I was absolutely exhausted.

"She's my patient," I said half-heartedly.

"You've had a long day," he said. "Go to your quarters, rest up, and I'll see you tonight. Okay?"

"Sure," I said. "Let me check on Lenae."

The Trill/Klingon woman was breathing evenly now, and I checked her vitals and everything looked good. At least something had gone right today.

As I headed back through the sickbay, I stopped short at the sound of voices.

"Ah, you're early," I heard Bashir say.

"For once," an unfamiliar voice replied. "So, what happened with Nu'Daq and Katja?"

My heart stopped on the spot. Nu'Daq and Katja? A familiar sense of jealousy filled me. How dare he? Accuse me of dishonor when he was doing the same?

"I knew you were going to ask that, and my answer is that you have to ask them," Bashir replied pleasantly. "Doctor-patient confidentiality you know. Fouls up a great many things."

"Can't you and that brain of yours just, oh I dunno, accidentally let it slip? Friend to friend? Please?" the unknown female was now whining - distinctly unattractive, I thought with a smile. I peaked around the corner. Emallia Janor. Talked to her a couple times, but didn't really know her well.

Bashir offered her back a patient but strained smile.

"No. Now stop looking at me like that. Does this hurt?" he asked, gently tapping her on various body parts. From my vantage point, all of her reflexes seemed to be working, but she seemed more intent on making puppy-dog eyes at Bashir.

"No. Well, where is everyone now?" she asked petulantly.

"In bed, hopefully. Other than that, I have no idea. Why would I know?"

"I don't know. Just wonderin'. Can I go now?" she was already off the biobed.

"Yes. NO sugar for breakfast either," Bashir said cryptically.

"Hey, I only did that once. Okay, 4 times, but, come on, give me a little credit."

I still had no idea what the two of them were talking about as I came back into view. Bashir's eyes met mine over Emallia's head.

"Not even a micro milimeter," he said with a smile. "Come on, I'll buy. Xenia, would you like to join us?"

Emallia's head whipped around quickly, stunned by my appearance.

"Sure," I said. "I haven't eaten in quite while."

The three of us headed down to the replimat. The whole time, Bashir and I chatted, but Emallia was suspiciously silent.

Once at the Replimat, I saw Okal and Nu'Daq sitting with their heads close together. I grabbed Bashir's arm.

"Xenia," Bashir said. "You're hurting me."

"Sorry," I said. I left them and headed over to the table.

Okal looked up in surprise, "Xenia, hello."

Nu'Daq snarled, but he looked more calm than I had anticipated.

"Did you have a good time with Katja?" I asked icily. "I can't believe you would do such a thing, especially after the temper tantrum you threw in the Infirmary."

"What are you talking about?" Okal asked.

"I'm talking about the little show he just put on for Doctor Bashir," I was furious now. "He came in as we were discussing our date tonight. I can't believe this double-standard, Nu'Daq. It's fine with me if you are dating other people, but don't hold me to that standard."

"Xenia," Nu'Daq stood up, drawing himself up to his full height.

Bashir was already at my side, yanking at my arm.

"It's not worth it," Bashir whispered in my ear.

"We were just talking," Okal said.

"You're fine," I told her pointedly. "His personal affairs are none of my business except when he makes my personal life his."

"Xenia," Bashir dragged me away to our table where a sullen Emallia watched us.

I dropped into my chair very exhausted. Damn, it had been a long day and I could not wait to get off of this station.

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