He probably couldn't tell you what stardate it was, as he now measured time in days since she'd died. Lt.Cmdr. Worf felt more alone than he'd ever thought possible. Even when the Enterprise was destroyed he had never known the piercing throbbing anguish that had become a part of his everyday existence. Not a life, for his life had ended the moment Jadzia had breathed her last...
He remembered every instant of there painfully brief time together... Every special moment, every kiss, every word --khest!-- even every argument! He remembered the sound of her laughter; the musical lilt of her voice; the softness of her skin and her scent... In their quarters he could still smell her... She had smelt so clean and he used to hold her close and breath her in so deeply, so ensure he would always remember every tiny thing about her because he was always so afriad of losing her... She had been the best thing that had ever happened to him, and Worf had led a sad life; whenever things seemed to be going his way soemthing would go wrong and whatever he valued would be wrested away from him.... He had grown to anticipate it. the only person he'd ever told of that fear was Jadzia. She had gently touched his face and told him she had no intention of ever leaving him all alone in the night...
"Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye?"
A couple of days before her death, Sisko had sent the two of them down to Bajor for a couple of days rest. Both he and Jadzia had protested, but Sisko had told them he was trying to get his command crew to relax before the invasion of Cardassia. He knew that if they were aboard they wouldn't relax. Dax had acquiesed and told Worf they needed a break. He gave in. Kira had arranged for them to use her friend's cabin in Musila Province. Every room had a view of the Holana River and Nerys had told them it was "the most romantic place on all of Bajor", and she was right!
Worf remembered Jadzia sitting on the large terrace in the moonlight. She was too ethereally lovely to be a creature of this life; and yet too full of life and love to be of the next... Jadzia was simply breath-taking; the moonlight was playing on her ivory silk chemise, her milky-white skin and her long luscious dark hair. He simply watched her for a moment as she stared out to the silvery river, listening to its natural sound as it tripped over the rocks along its way. He walked over and sat down beside her. She snuggled in close to him, enveloped in his loving embrace...
"Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king ?
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all...
Across the night air, a hauntingly sweet clarion melody rang out... Soft, gentle and romantic, it captured the couple's mood perfectly. Worf helped Jadzia to her feet and held her close. Slowly he started to rock her to the alien song's rhythm... With only the stars and the Prophets of Bajor looking down, Worf and Jadzia danced to the melody, as the clarion's soft refrain lifted them to the stars...
"And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end; the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance-- I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance..."
Remembering that night, the pang in his heart grew more agonising... As the days without her turned into weeks, Worf was choking on his isolation.... He missed Jadzia with all his heart and soul, but never -- not once-- did he regret loving her.... Their time together was brief, but it was the happiest time in his life... He clung to the memories like a lifeline...
Seeking solace he hadn't left their quarters since she died. He retreated into the bedroom, and lay down... The left pillow still smelled of her.... He buried his head in it, as he had done many times to her hair.... Finally he allowed his tears to fall...
"It's my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
but I'd of had to miss the dance ...
Finis...