Set right before "Call to Arms"
Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax slowly awakened. Her head turned and she looked over to Lieutenant Commander Worf. He was still asleep, his body peacefully heaved up and down as he breathed. She quietly slipped out of bed, making sure not to disturb him. Dax walked over to one of her large ovular windows and looked out into space. She chuckled to herself, if a transport ship got too close, the passengers would get quite a surprise. Jadzia enjoyed standing nude in front of the window, it made her feel unihibitied and free.
Dax s breathing was shaky. Her eyes drifted over to Worf again. She knew exactly what Curzon would say about all this, "Be a lover to as many people as you like, but in love with no one." That's what Curzon told Ben when he met Jennifer. Curzon didn't trust love, he didn't think it lasted. To him, the only thing that was certain was sex. That was tangible, love was obscure. He never loved anyone the way Jadzia loved Worf.
It was an unusually amazing feeling. Dax had forgotten what it was like to be in love. The last time was almost one hundred years ago when Torias was married to Nelani. Dax thought she'd found love again when Lenara came to the station. However, it didn't take long for her to realize that she, the whole person, Jadzia Dax was not in love with Lenara Kann, the whole person. Torias Dax was in love with Nelani Kaan, and just as Jadzia had to learn that she's not Curzon, she's not Torias either. She's Jadzia Dax. And unlike Torias she didn't love Nelani. Unlike Curzon, she did believe in love and commitment. Jadzia Dax was in love with Worf.
The words from her conversation waith Yedrin Dax came back to her. Just thinking about them made her giddy. It was as if he gave her a glimpse into the future
*The summer after the crash it was so hot Jadzia cut her hair short. Worf hated it I remember promising to grow it back in time for the wedding.
We got married?
The next fall. Bejmain performed the ceremony. I'll never forget Worf's voice as he said his vows. It was, shaking.
Were we happy together?
MmHm. He's a good man, Jadzia.
I know. It's just, sometimes, he's so hard to get along with.
Don't worry, you'll learn to handle him.*
"We'll be docked for six days. That should give everyone time to relax. The ship will be off limits after 1600 hours, and no, I don't plan to get stuck here during the baryon sweep like last time," Picard said lightheartedly. He was in the observation lounge of the Enterprise- E with his senior staff., "One more thing," he added, "Captain Sisko has invited us all to dinner with his senior staff at 2100 hours tonight. From what I hear, he's quite a chef."
Dax came to the ward room early. She wanted to talk to Benjamin, and she used the excuse of helping him prepare dinner.
"What are you doing here so early, Old Man?"
She entered, her hands firmly locked behind her back, "I thought I'd help you with dinner."
He groaned, "Oh no, Dax. That's where I draw the line. Remember the last time you helped me cook?"
"I didn't burn the chicken *that* badly."
"It was bad enough. Why are you really here?"
She frowned, "What do you mean? I told you "
"No, no, no," Ben took the skillet off of the fire, "I know you, Dax. What's up?"
"I need advice."
He pretended to be shocked, and placed his hand over his chest, "You need *my* advice."
Jadzia blushed, "Yes."
"Let me guess," he stacked the black plates in the center of the table, "It's about Worf."
"Yes," she paused, "I love him. I think I want to marry him."
"Be a lover to many, in love with no one', or something to that effect."
"I remember," she replied, "That's how Curzon felt. But, I'm not Curzon."
Sisko nodded, "True. Though, I think you should be talking to Worf about this, not me."
She bit her lip, "I knew you would say that."
Ben looked at her for a moment, "I don't think I've ever seen you this uneasy."
"I haven't felt like this since, since Nelani."
"I may not have known you as long as I knew Curzon, but, I've never known Jadzia to do something without thinking it through."
Dax smiled, "You said that to me once before."
"I meant it then, I mean it now."
"I'm going to think this through "
"Of course you know that even if you do go off and get married, I'll still be your best friend."
Her smiled turned into an amused laugh, "Of course."
"Now, since you're here, you can get some glasses for me."
"Can't I cook?" she whined, but obeyed him after he glared at her.
Worf wasn't looking forward to this dinner. He'd promised Jadzia that he would come, but, he didn't want to. He wasn't exactly sure why he felt so uneasy at the idea of spending an evening with his former comrades. He'd served with them for a short time six months ago. Truthfully, he felt a little guilty. He knew they'd all expected him to return to the Enterprise- E. He couldn't believe how shocked they were that he took the assignment on DS9.
The tall Klingon strode down the corridors as if he owned them. His presence was looming, domineering, that was one of the things Dax loved about himn, and something he prided himself in.
A door opened in corrdior 16- J. Out of it stepped Commander Deanna Troi of the Enterprise. She'd already been assigned guest quarters while the Enterprise was being sweeped with baryon. Deanna looked down the hall, in the distance she could see the back of a very familiar figure, "Worf?"
He turned, and walked back to where she was, having instantly recongized her, "Counselor Troi, it is good to see you."
"De*anna*," she corrected him, "It's been a long time," she paused, giving him a long once- over, "Too long."
"I take it you are headed to the ward room?"
She nodded, "MmHm. You too?"
"Yes."
Without hesitation, she platonically linked her arm in his, and they walked together, "You know, we haven't had a chance to really talk since the Enterprise- D was destroyed."
Worf looked down at her. They had been very good friends, perhaps more than friends, but circumstances ended their burgeoning romance before it really got started. She was right, they hadn't contacted each other, or written since they last served together. Tensions were so high during the recent Borg incident, there was no time to reminisce about the past.
"I have missed your company," he stated, not exactly truthfully. He had tried to block out of his mind the feelings he'd once had for her, and, until now, it had worked. But just seeing her made it slowly come back. Her large dark eyes, that could look deep into your soul. The calm, understanding tones in her voice, her long dark, silky hair, her gently pouting lips
Deanna blushed, "So, how are things for you here on DS9?"
"I am well."
"Well. Is that Worf- talk for, I'm genuinely happy," or, I could be doing better?'"
"You are the empath, you tell me."
She looked up at him for a moment, "I think it's a little bit of both. I think you're happy, but there are still some incomplete things in your life."
"And what about you?"
Troi sighed, "I'm well. And when I say that, I mean that I could be doing better."
Worf frowned, "Are things not going well aboard the Enterprise?"
"I guess I expected everything to be the same as it was before. But, I should have known better. Nothing ever stays the same."
She was sounding unusually pessimistic, "What has changed?"
Deanna politely smiled, and changed the subject, "Enough about me and my empty life. I'd like to hear about *Commander* Worf," she rubbed her hand over his shoulder, "You look good in red, you know. Then again, you'd look good in pink and orange polka dot."
"I enjoy command, very much. I think this move to DS9 was very prudent."
"I'm sure it was very prudent, but, how do you *feel* about it?"
Worf hesitated. He wasn't sure how he should approach this subject. There were some aspects of life on the station that he wasn't crazy about. But then again, there was an aspect that he loved and would never leave. Worf opted not to mention Jadzia, not yet anyway, "I am glad I came. Really. I do not get along with everyone, but, I do like it here."
Deanna could tell that he was purposely keeping something from her, but she wasn't sure what. She probed his emotions, trying to find the feelings for her that he used to keep so close to the surface. They were deeply buried, but not dead. She knew that it had been a long time, almost three years, since she and Worf were together, but, that didn't really matter to her. They were here now and she wanted him back. Deanna was pretty sure that somewhere deep down, he still wanted her. "Would you be terribly upset if we were late for the dinner?"
"No, actually."
"Good. Why don't we take a walk? It's an interesting station, I wouldn't mind seeing it."
He took her to the promenade. Deanna had only been on DS9 once before, though her mother made frequent trips here.
"I must admit," Deanna began, "I was surprised to hear that you'd turned down your position on the Enterprise to come here."
Worf tensed, "It was not because I wasn't happy aboard he Enterprise," he explained, "I simply wanted to advance my career."
"Captain Worf isn't too far away, is it?"
"No, it is not. However, I plan to wait to advance to that level until the captain's position here on DS9 is available."
"That could be a long time. Sisko doesn't seem ready to give up his chair just yet."
"I know that. But, I like it here. And I like the Defiant."
They spent the next two hours walking and talking. It was a little after 2300 hours, and the dinner was long over. Worf walked Deanna back to her assigned suite she invited him in, but he declined. Instead, he headed to holosuite 3 he needed to think. Worf used his weapon to bring six alien foes to their demise, yet he still hadn't reached a point of clarity. He wasn't used to this type of thing at all. He loved Jadzia, she was his par'mackai, and he had hoped that one day she'd be his wife.
But seeing Deanna, spending two hours talking with her brought a lot back. There was a time when he wondered what it would be like to marry *her*. And even though they'd never progressed the way he and Jadzia had, the question of what if' still loomed in his mind. What if the Enterprise- D had never been destroyed? What if he'd never come to DS9? What if he and Deanna had never parted, what if they had the oppurtunity to progress naturally? Would they have ended up eventually going their separate ways, or would they have come together permanently?
All of this uncertainty was wearing at Worf. He decided the best thing to do was to focus on what he had right now, and forget about the what ifs.' Worf left the holosuite and headed to Jadzia's quarters.
He knew the entrance code and came in without waiting for an invite. The computer had told him she was here, but he didn't see her anywhere. Worf took his sash off of his shoulders and placed it on her couch, "Dax?" he walked toward her bedroom and when he entered, he could hear gently churning water.
"I'm in here," came her voice. Worf followed it into the bathroom where she was immersed in a tub of water. Jadzia didn't like bubbles very much, and the clear water left her long, lean body well exposed. She frowned when she saw Worf enter, "Where were you?"
Worf sat on the edge of tub, "I told you that I did not want to go."
She lifted her arm up and ran the sponge along it, "Well, it doesn't really matter to me either way they're *your* friends. I could have used your presence, though. Commander Riker wouldn't leave me alone."
It was Worf's turn to frown, "What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean. Don't worry, though. When I informed him that you and I were together, and that you wouldn't appreciate him making advances towards me, he stopped instantly Where *did* you go?"
"I, um, I went to the holosuite," that wasn't a *total* lie.
"Oh."
"I want to talk to you about something "
"What is it?"
"It can wait until you come out," he stood.
"Okay. I'll just be a few more minutes."
Worf left the bathroom and stood at the window near her bed. He could see the Enterprse docked at lower pylon one from here. He could also see Bajor, it hung against the sky like a blue ball caught on a piece of black felt. The view from her room was amazing at this time of year, he could even see the wormhole when it opened. Worf felt like getting out of his uniform, after he'd taken it off he opened Jadzia's bottom drawer and took out a pair of the black shorts that he liked to sleep in. He'd virtually moved in with her, he had uniforms there as well a casual clothes. He hadn't slept in his own quarters in over two weeks.
Jadzia came out of the bathroom draped in a lilac night chemise. Her hair hung on her shoulders, and it beautifully framed her face, "Now, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?"
"I have scheduled to go to Earth next month to see my family. I I want you to come with me."
Jadzia had been brushing her hair in front of her mirror, but after hearing his words, she stopped in mid stroke and brought the brush down. Worf had been to Earth twice since they'd been together, yet he went alone both times. Dax slowly turned to him, "You want *me* to go?"
"Yes. Though, if you do not want to "
She walked over to the bed and sat next to him, "Of course I *want* to. I want to be a more integral part of your life."
"I want you to be as well."
She nervously looked down at her hands, "Do you think they'll like me?"
"I cannot see why they wouldn't. You're a wonderful woman, Jadzia. They already know about you, and they are eager to meet you."
"What about your son?"
"I have talked to him about you as well. He knows that I love you. I would not worry, I think he'll like you as well."
Dax nodded, "Okay."
Worf paused a moment, "What about your family?" he finally asked.
Jadzia tensed, "My family," she let out a deep sigh, "Well, you know that my father's been dead for several years. My mother and sister live in Trill, and my brother is at Starfleet Academy."
"Do they know about us?"
"Yes "
"Well?"
"My brother is happy for me."
Worf could tell from her tone that this wasn't good, "And the others?"
Jadzia stood and began to pace the room, "They aren't exactly thrilled in my choice of companions."
"They do not approve of us?"
"No."
"Because I am not Trill," he stated.
"Not just because you're not Trill. They wouldn't mind if you were Human, or Bajoran or Vulcan or almost anything but Klingon."
Worf could feel every hair on his body stand on end. He didn't reply.
"I am so sorry Worf. They are being ignorant bigots, and I don't care what they think. I love you, and they can't change that."
"They are your family, Jadzia."
"Yes, but, family is supposed to be suportive, and they aren't."
"Why did you never tell me this?"
"It isn't the most pleasant conversation. Besides, I didn't want to make you feel bad."
Worf shook his head, "I do not want to come between you and your family."
"So what do you want to do, breakup over this? That's the only thing that's going to make them happy. They'll get over it, and if they don't, then, that's just too bad. I was always closer to my brother and father anyway. My father would have understood, he would have accepted whomever I was in love with."
"I am sorry, Jadzia "
"This is *not* your fault," she climbed in bed next to him, and he laid back, "They don't know you the way I do. Now, we both have an early shift tomorrow, and I really don't want to talk about my degenerate family anymore."
Worf kissed the top of her head. They slept peacefully, and Worf didn't think of Deanna Troi at all, at least, not until the next day.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"How did it go?"
"Okay I guess."
Doctor Beverly Crusher sipped her tea, "You totally skipped dinner, which was excellent by the way. Something good *must* have happened between the two of you."
Deanna humbly shrugged, "We walked, we talked, he took me home and he left."
Beverly nodded, "Give it some time. It's been "
"Two years and eleven months," Deanna replied.
"What I don't understand is, if you still have feelings for him, why didn't you ever contact him? Absense doesn't always make the heart grow fonder."
"I don't know. I guess I had tried to forget about him, especially when heard he wasn't returning to the Enterprise. But seeing him again, it brought it all back."
The two women were having breakfast on DS9's replimat. Beverly looked over Deanna's shoulder, "There he is."
Deanna turned around and saw Worf take a seat on the other side of the eating area. With him was a tall, attractive woman, she was a Starfleet officer, and Deanna guessed from her markings that she was Trill, "Who is that with him?"
"She was at the dinner last night. Will was making passes at her, I'm not sure if anything came of it though. Her name is Commader Jadzia Dax. She's a joined Trill."
"They look extremely friendly "
"Stop being paranoid. They're probably just friends. It takes Worf a long time to really warm up to people," Dax stood and left the table, "See, she's leaving."
Deanna turned back around, "I don't know, Beverly. We're so different, yet, he intrigues me. I love the way he makes me feel. He's exciting and different and "
"She's coming back."
Jadzia returned to their table carrying two mugs of raktajino. As she sat down, she quickly kissed his lips. They sat close to one another, and wore gently smiles as they spoke.
"You can't tell me that they aren't more than friends," Deanna said after watching the two of them.
"Okay, maybe you were right. That doesn't mean that all hope is lost for the two of you. They might not even be serious."
"With Worf, *everything* is serious."
Deanna decided to do some shopping along the promenade later that evening. The clothing shop on the upper level had a lovely selection, and the Cardassian tailor was very accomodating.
"This is nice," Troi heard one woman say.
"It's rather short, and tight " her companion answered.
"Oh, but that's how Worf likes them," the two women quietly laughed.
Deanna turned around when she heard Worf's name. Near the entrance of the shop was Commander Dax, and she was with a Bajoran women who had short auburn hair, and wore a rust colored uniform. A shiver went up Deanna's spine, Dax and Worf were definitely involved. Why hadn't he mentioned her to Deanna when they spoke last night? Counselor Troi pressed her lips into a firm line. She was going to stop speculating and feeling sorry for herself. She was going to do something.
The Bajoran left the store, but Dax remained. Deanna took a deep breath, and approached her, "This is a lovely dress, do you know if the owner tailor fits them?" she asked Dax.
Jadzia warmly smiled at her, "Yes, he does. I know Garak pretty well, and I'm certain he wouldn't charge you extra."
"Really? Are you stationed here?"
Dax nodded, "Lieutenant Commader Dax, chief science officer."
"It's nice to meet you, Dax. I'm here on leave from the Enterprise, Counselor Deanna Troi."
"Aah, yes. We missed you at dinner last night."
Deanna plastered on a smile, "I hope it wasn't too rude of me not to attend. The funny thing is, on the way there, I ran into Commander Worf. He and I used to serve together on the Enterprise- D. We started talking and totally lost track of time," she chuckled, "By the time we'd realized it, two hours had passed, and we'd totally missed dinener. You see, he and I are very close friends."
"Really?"
"Oh yes," Deanna continued. She could read Dax's emotions, and she was not exactly pleased with what she was hearing, though she tried to sound as if she were, "Do you know Mr. Worf?" Deanna asked, though she knew the answer.
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I know him very well. He and I have been seeing each other for almost a year now."
Troi feigned a smile, "He's a wonderful man."
"Yes, I know," Dax tried to quell the defensive and envious emotions that were building up inside of her. This woman was extremely transparent, it must be on purpose. There had been something more than friendship between her and Worf, Dax was sure about it. And what was this about the two of them spending last night together? Worf had told Jadzia he went to the holosuite.
"Well, it was nice meeting you, Dax."
"You as well, Counselor."
Deanna headed for the door, but turned back to Jadzia, "Oh, and tell Worf I said hello."
"I will."
When Dax came home that evening, Worf was already there. He was seated at her desk, poised in front of a monitor. Jadzia came up from behind him and snaked her arms around his shoulders, "Hey there. What are you working on?"
"I am sending a message to Earth, notifying my family about our visit," he turned his head slightly and kissed her, "How was your day?"
She stood upright and began to knead his shoulders with her strong hands, "Guess who I ran into a Garak's shop just a little while ago?"
Her massage was entrancing, "Who?" he asked lethargically, his eyes slowly closing.
"Deanna Troi."
Worf's eyes popped open. Dax continued, "And guess what she told me? She told me that the two of you spent two whole hours together last night, while we were at the dinner," Jadzia exerted more pressure on his shoulders, and it was begining to hurt, "So, what I want to know is, was that before or after you went to the holosuite?"
Worf tried to quickly figure out how to talk his way out of this, but opted to just go with the truth, "Before," he admitted.
"Why didn't you tell me about this when I asked you, Worf?" her hands dug deeply into his shoulders and he flinched.
"I... I am not sure why."
"You know, if I had done something like this, you would have accused me of being disloyal and unfaithful. But, since I'm not as unreasonable as you, I'm not going to do that," she continued torturing his shoulders, "I trust you, I love you, and, I'm certain that you would never betray that trust. If you do," she bent over and sweetly kissed his cheek, "I'll rip your heart out with my bare hands and make you eat it."
"I understand," he said slowly.
"Good. Now," she released him and he stroked his bruised shoulders, "Are you hungry?"
Worf spent the next three days trying to avoid Deanna. He'd gotten Jadzia's message loud and clear, she didn't mind if he saw Deanna, but she wouldn't tolerate it if it went any further. She had every right to be concerned, Worf felt very torn between the two women, and he didn't like that at all.
"Worf," Deanna walked up to him as he was heading to Jadzia's quarters, "I've been looking all over for you. I wanted to ask you to join me for dinner."
His first inclination was to say no, but he lost himself in her large, emotional, beautiful black eyes, "I would like that."
She smiled, "Good. Join me in my suite?"
Worf hadn't been expecting that, but he did not object, and followed her to her room. He justified his actions by reminding himself that Jadzia had dinner with Julian, Benjamin, hell, even Quark, all the time.
Deanna felt giddy, and that wasn't something she'd experienced in a long time. This Jadzia person was just a small obstacle, something to make the chase exciting. Deanna was confident that whatever feelings he had for Dax paled in comparison to what he had felt for her. She had known Worf for almost ten years, Dax had only known him for two. There was no way he could refuse her, no way.
Dinner started out quietly. She kept the light level low, trying to set a mood. Finally, she broke the silence, "I've been wanting to talk to you for a long time."
"About what?"
She sighed, "About us."
Worf frowned. Perhaps he should have declined this invitation.
"No, no, don't give me that look. I don't know about you, but I need some closure."
"I am not certain about what you mean "
"I " she briefly looked down at her hands, "I was really hurt, when you decided not to come back to the Enterprise. Not just because I knew we were losing a good officer, but because, well, you and I were very close "
"Yes," he admitted, "We were."
"I miss you, Worf."
Her eyes were mesmerizing. She could stare directly into his soul, and she made him feel vulnerable. He couldn't hide his emotions from her. "I did not realize it until now, but, I've missed you as well."
Deanna smiled, "We're here now."
Worf knew that she and Jadzia had met, but he wondered if she knew about their relationship. He decided to proceed carefully, "You will be leaving soon," he stated.
"Yes, the Enterprise leaves in three days "
"You said you need closure," Worf restated.
Deanna smiled, "Yeah. I don't know how to say this, but, I still have feelings for you. I asked my mother if it were possible to fall in love with someone you haven't seen in years."
"You are in love "
"I'm not sure. I'm not sure about anything anymore, all I know is, I want you."
"Deanna "
She rose from her chair and came to his side of the table. Worf turned his body in the chair and Deanna stood before him. Her delicate hands stroked his face, "We used to be so good together. What happened to us?"
Her eyes were filled with all the emotions she felt for him, "People move apart, we were reassigned. It happens."
She shook her head, "No. You weren't reassigned. You chose to come here. That hurt me, Worf. I thought you and I had something, and yet you chose to end it, without saying anything to me. That's what I mean when I say I need closure."
"I, I had no idea you felt so strongly."
"I do," she whispered, "You *used* to."
"I did," he finally admitted.
"What happened?" she repeated breathlessly.
"I do not know," he answered quietly.
Deanna smiled at him. This was perfect, this was more than perfect. She had him, he was like clay waiting for her to mold. Deanna knew that Worf was still a little vulnerable where she was concerned. She planned to use that vulnerability to get him back into her arms. Troi kissed his forehead and slowy, lovingly kissed down his face. Surprisingly, she met no resistance. Deanna kneeled in front of him and planted one final kiss on his lips.
Worf lost himself. His hands touched her back and he returned the kiss as affectionately as she gave it. He let his mind go back to a time when everything was different. Back to a time when he thought it very possible that he would spend the rest of his life with this woman. There was a time when he thought this woman was everything he needed, there was a time when she made him feel perfect
But that time had passed. He slowly pulled away from her, "I have to go."
"No," she stroked his thighs, "You don't. You can stay with me, where you belong."
Worf shook his head, trying to be as gentle as possible, "I do *not* belong here, with you. I am in love."
Deanna briefly lowered her head, "With Dax?"
He frowned, "You know about that?" he asked, looking down at her.
"Yes. I know."
"I love her, Deanna."
"And I love you."
Worf's chest hurt. His whole body ached, "I have to go," he repeated.
She stood, "I can't keep you here," she stated evenly.
He stood as well, "I am sorry, Deanna."
She forced a smile, "For what? Don't be sorry about how you feel. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I threw myself at you, trying to re- capture something that, that I never really had," Suddenly she felt very ashamed, what had she been doing? She knew deep down that Worf didn't love her. She could barely face him. Without another word, he left.
Out of habit, Worf headed for Jadzia's quarters. However, he stood outside the door for ten minutes, not entering, not sure if he should. Part of him wanted to go in, hold her as tightly as he could, and admit to her what he'd done. She would stroke his hair, kiss his nose and tell him that she understood, and that she forgave him. That isn't what happened, though. Worf didn't even go in, instead, he left and headed for his lonely quarters on the Defiant.
"Computer, time."
"The time is three hundred hours, sixteen minutes."
Jadzia Dax sat up in bed and nervously smoothed her hair back. She looked over to the empty right side of her bed and sighed. It was 3:16, and Worf hadn't come home. She chuckled, "He doesn't live here, Dax," she reminded herself aloud. Jadzia had gotten used to having Worf's body next to hers. She wanted to call him, but decided against it. After all, they weren't married. Dax smiled, not yet, anyway.
"Worf!"
He could feel his body tense. Worf knew that voice anywhere, it was Jadzia. He turned, and saw her coming up behind him on the promenade, "Hey there," Jadzia linked her arm in his and leaned over to kiss his cheek, "I missed you last night."
"I, um, I I needed to go home."
Dax's brow wrinkled, "Are you okay? You seem stressed."
"No, I am I am fine."
"I think there's something you're not telling me. You haven't slept away from me in weeks. You're not mad at me are you?"
"Why would I be?"
She shrugged, and they stepped on the turbolift together, "I don't know, you always seem to find a reason to be angry."
"It is nothing you did, Jadzia."
"Then what *is* it?"
Just the the worst thing that could have possibly happen happened. The lift stopped on level 16. Counselor Deanna Troi froze, this could not be. She wanted to run, but, instead, she held her head high and stepped on with Worf and Dax.
"Good morning, Counselor," Dax said cheerfully.
"Commander," Troi nodded respectfully to both of them. She ordered the lift to level 17, even though she really had to go to 24. Deanna couldn't bear watching Jadzia snuggled against him. Worf looked extremely uncomfortable, and Deanna assumed he hadn't told Jadzia about last night. The doors opened and she quickly stepped off, leaving them alone.
"I can't wait to get off this station."
"Why? I like it here, it's a nice change of pace."
Deanna grunted, "Well, we get to leave tomorrow."
Will Riker frowned, "You were looking forward to coming here last week. What happened?"
Deanna decided that Will was not he person to talk about this to. Even though they were friends, he didn't need to know *this*, "Nothing. I'm just ready to leave."
Riker looked over the balcony of Quark's bar and down to the lower level. He and Deanna were sitting at one of the tables along the railing, "*He* seems to be happy."
Deanna looked down as well, and saw Worf and Jadzia come through the door. The two of them took a seat at the bar together.
"Do they go *everywhere* together?" she asked bitterly.
"Aaah, I should have known. You came here thinking that you and he could rekindle some old flames, only to realize that he had a fire going with someone else."
She shot him a cold glare, "As if it were any of your business."
"You never hesitated talking to me about anything else, Deanna."
She sighed, "I know. I just feel a little embarrased about this "
"Come on, I'm always coming to you with my relationship problems."
"I don't have a relationship with Worf."
Will looked down to the bar, "You know, Jadzia Dax isn't that great. She's not nearly as wonderful as you."
"Save it Will. I know you tried to hit on her at the dinner."
"And she turned me down without hesitation."
"She's in love."
"And so are you," he whispered.
"Look at her," she began, "She's gorgeous. And I bet she and Worf have everything in common. She's tall and athletic, she's outgoing and confident."
"So what? Okay, so maybe I *did* try to talk to her, but she'd no Deanna Troi."
"No. She's Jadzia Dax. And she's with the man I love."
"So what are you going to do?"
Deanna thought a moment. She couldn't just let Dax have Worf. He belonged to Deanna, she had him first. Deanna knew that he'd never be able to get him back until Dax was out of the picture. That's what stopped them the other night.
The other night. Troi looked down at the again, Jadzia was happily smiling, occasionally placing a loving hand on him. *I bet she doesn't know*, Deanna thought, *Well, she's about to find out*.
Jadzia Dax stretched out on her bed. She smiled widely and let out a rapturous sigh. Tonight would be the night. When Worf came home, she'd tell him that she was ready to get married. Just the thought of it made her blush. This morning she had a feeling something was wrong with him, but after they had lunch together in Quark's, Dax was certain that everything was fine. It was probably just one of his moods.
Dax heard her chime sound and she sat straight up. Could it be Worf already? No, it was too early, and he had the entry code. Jadzia stood, went to her door and opened it, "Counselor Troi?" she asked, "Um, what can I do for you?"
"May I come in?" Troi asked meekly.
"Of course," Jadzia stepped aside and let her enter. Deanna put on her most pathetic face and tightly crossed her arms tightly over her bosom. Dax sat on her couch and watched the Counselor pace.
"I have a lot say to you, so I'd really appreciate it if you'd let me get it all out before you respond."
"Okay "
"I know you probably hate me right now. I'm not here to plead for myself, but for Worf."
Jadzia was very confused, but, she didn't say anything.
"What happened wasn't his fault. I came on to him, I poured out my emotions and I'm sure he felt cornered. I don't want you to be angry at him, he loves you more than anything," Deanna was really enjoying reading Dax's emotions. She had no idea what was going on, no idea that what Deanna was about to tell her would devastate her, "It was just one kiss, it meant nothing to him at all. The moment the kiss ended all he talked about was how much he loved you, and didn't want to hurt you."
Dax shook her head slowly, "What are you talking about?"
"Oh no " Deanna said, "You don't know?" Troi's voice was filled with feigned innocence."
"Know what? That you kissed the man I love? No, I did not know."
"He didn't tell you?!"
Jadzia's breathing was shallow and she felt a brick developing in the pit of her stomach, "No," she whispered, "He didn't."
"This is terrible. I came here, trying to make things better, and I totally ruined everything. Worf probably didn't want you to know about it. He didn't want to hurt you," Deanna sighed, "I'm so sorry, Dax."
It just begining to sink in, "Why?"
"Why? What do you mean?"
"Why did it happen?"
"I'm going to be honest with you. I have feelings for him, very strong ones. He and I used to be very close, and, when I came to DS9, I wanted to be close to him again."
Jadzia slowly stood, puposefully allowing her towering frame to intimidate Deanna, "And you think he still wants you?"
"I'm not sure."
"You're not sure," Dax's voice was cold and harsh, "Well, thank you for sharing this bit of information with me. You can go now."
Without another word, Deanna left. She'd just delivered the winning blow in this little battle.
After Troi left, Jadzia let her emotions show. She couldn't catch her breath, she took deep breaths but it didn't help. She felt she should be crying, but no tears came. Only anger came forth. She went over to her shelves where her collection of statues were. Worf had added four to the collection. Jadzia picked up the one that had been her favorite. He gave it to her two months ago, it was solid black in color, shiny and firm. It was the image of two bodies, male and female, inimately wrapped together. Jadzia had been shocked that he gave her such and erotic gift. Now, she held it in her hands, smoothing her slender finegrs over it. No, Troi was lying. She had to be, Worf would never betray her. It had to be a lie. It had to be. Jadzia began to calm down, she'd talk to Worf about it tonight, he'd clear everything up.
An hour later, Worf entered Dax's quarters. She was sitting on her couch looking out of the window. The lights were off, and everything as quiet, unusually quiet.
"Jadzia " he said slowly.
She turned her head, "Worf, I'm glad you're here. We need to talk."
He slowly sat next to her, "What is it?"
"I had a visitor today."
Worf listened intently.
"Deanna Troi came to see me."
Dax could virtually see the tension and uneasiness build up inside him, "What did she want?" he managed to say.
"You have never lied to me, Worf, and I'd like to believe that you never will. Please don't start now."
"You know that I would never lie to anyone, Jadzia," Worf had a terrible feeling about this. Two words were being repeated over and over in his mind, She knows.
"What happened between you and Counselor Troi last night?" Jadzia asked bluntly.
She knows and she wants to hear me admit it. Worf took a deep breath, "Deanna invited me to dinner, and I accepted. We went to her quarters to eat, and we talked a lot about the way things used to be, when we served together. You see, she and I were begining a romantic relationship right before the Enterprise- D was destroyed. I always told myself that it just was not meant to be, but she thinks that there should have been more between us. I began to question my decision to just forget about her, and that is when she told me that she is in love with me. Of course, I did not return the sentiment. However," Worf paused, wishing more than anything that he didn't have to continue this, "However, I did respond when she kissed me. After a brief moment, I broke away from her, and explained that I am very much in love with you. After that I left."
Dax wasn't looking at him. Her gaze was focused outside, but he could tell that she'd been listening to every word. Her eyes were heavy, and she purposely kept her chin upwards to keep the tears from rolling down her cheeks. It was true. "She kissed you, you returned it, but then pulled away?" Jadzia spoke more to the stars than him.
"Yes," Worf was trying to read her expressions for some sign on how she felt about this. Yet she was blank, "Jadzia, I never meant to hurt you. If I could take back my actions, I would. I love you, no one "
"Yes, yes, I'm sure you're sorry and it won't happen again and all that," she cut him off in a very icy and irritated tone, "I guess what hurts me the most, more than just the kiss, is that I had to hear it from her," Finally, Jadzia faced him. She let a single tear fall, she wanted him to see how uspet she was, "We all make mistakes Worf. I'm pretty sure that if you had come to me with this right after it happened and explained it to me, I would have forgiven you. How long were you going to keep this from me?"
"I was not sure how to tell you."
"Or maybe you thought that what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me."
"I told you that I would never hurt you, I did not want this to do that."
"I don't need you to protect me," she snapped angrily as she stood, "You're always trying to shelter me."
"It is because I love you."
"That love didn't seem too important while you were kissing Deanna Troi."
Worf had no responce to that.
"The ironic thing about all this is, you were always accusing me of being disloyal, that I wasn't serious about this relationship. And then you're the one who goes out and betrays me! The truth is, Worf, I think you still care for her."
He remained silent.
"Sure, once she's gone all of this will be over, but, I don't want to have to worry every time the Enteprise docks whether or not you're out trying to rekindle some old flames with Troi."
Worf stood as well. He positioned his body close to hers. Jadzia wanted to step back, but she couldn't, "I do not wish to lose you, Jadzia," he whispered, keeping his tone low and soothing.
Dax reached up and and stroked his broad shoulder, but then pulled her hand back, "Why don't you go home," she said softly, though trying to maintain a firm stance.
"Please, Jadzia. You must know that I love you," Worf cupped her cheek in his hand. Jadzia didn't fight it, instead she closed her eyes and let her face wearily fall into his palm.
"You have to leave," she whispered, her face was pained and the tears were slowly begining to fall.
"I cannot leave you " he was pleading with her.
Finally Dax pried herself from his embrace. She clamped her hands behind her back and walked to the other side of the room, "Just go."
"I do not think you really want me to leave," he said, her back to him.
"You hurt me."
"I know I did. But we all make mistakes, you just said that. I don't want Deanna. I am not sure what came over me. Yes, she and I did have something, but I swear to you, that has passed. I love you."
Jadzia squeezed her eyes shut, "I love you too."
"Then, I beg you, do not make me leave."
Dax turned to face him, "I do need to think about some things, alone. But, I don't want to lose you either. I just need to be alone."
Worf nodded, "I understand," He walked towards the door, but the turned back to face her, "You need to understand how genuinely sorry I am about his."
"I know you are."
"And I do love you, more than anything."
"I know you do."
They held one another's gaze for a long time. Finally, Jadzia dropped her brazen exterior and ran into his arms. They kissed fiercely, passionately, for what seemed like an eternity. After she pulled her lips away breathlessly, she hit her fist against his chest, and a smile had formed on her lips, "You're forgiven, dammit. But the next time something like this happens, I won't let you off so easily. I guess I've just got a soft spot for you."
"There will not be a next time."
Dax stroked his hair, "There better not be."
"Does this mean that I can stay tonight?"
She laughed, "No, you can't, you're on punishment. And from now on, I don't want to here anymore grumbling about my late night Tongo games with Quark, or lunch with Julian. And if I decide to decide to have a drink with Captain Boday, or any one of my numerous ex's, I want you to trust me."
"When does this punishment end?"
"When I feel you've learned your lesson," she teased, "And when I begin to miss the feel of your strong, beautiful body making love to me. Now go home."
"Did I tell you that I love you?"
"Yes, you did. Now go home before I call Odo and have you escorted out of here."
Worf pried himself from her arms and left.
Two o'clock. Jadzia had been in bed for three hours, and hadn't slept at all. There was so much on her mind, she couldn't begin to sort it all out. Dax believed Worf, she was certain that Deanna meant nothing to him. She also knew that he only kept it from her to protect her feelings, not just to save his own skin. Part of her felt she should be more upset about this, but, she wasn't. All she could think about was how much she loved Worf, how much she wanted him to be beside her always.
Dax could hear a faint noise. She didn't get up, but listened intently. Soft footsteps padded through her living room, and she heard her bedroom door slowly opened. Jadzia knew exactly who it was, and pretended to be asleep.
Worf stood in her doorway watching her sleep. He didn't want to disturb her, he just wanted to see her. She was so beautiful, she wore his favorite nightgown, the purple one, and her dark hair covered the pillow. He couldn't believe that something so wonderful had come into his life, and moreover, he couldn't believe that he'd almost lost her. Yet, she forgave him so willingly, she placed so much trust in him, it was more than he thought possible.
Worf stepped forward, he wanted to touch her, to fold her agile body in his arms and hold her all night. Instead, he respected her wishes, and turned to leave.
"I thought I told you to go home."
Her voice startled him. Jadzia sat up in bed and Worf faced her, "I apologize, I just wanted to see you."
Jadzia smiled brightly, "That's okay. I was begining to miss you."
"Already?"
"MmHm," Jadzia pointed to her dreser, "Bottom drawer. Come on to bed."
Jadzia walked towards the replimat, with her hands tucked behind her back. She spotted the person she was looking for, and invited herself to a seat at Deanna Troi's table.
"You and I need to talk."
Deanna looked up from her padd. She slowly placed it on the table and folded her hands in her lap, "I'm listening."
"I know you're an empath and a highly trained psychologist and all that, but, you seem to forget, I have over three hundred years of experience in dealing with people like you," Jadzia's voice was firm, almost callous, "And I saw right through your little performance last night."
Deanna remained calm, "You didn't believe me?"
"Oh, I believed that you kissed Worf, he confirmed that for me. But I know what you were trying to do. You didn't come to me to plead on Worf's behalf. You came to break us up."
"Excuse me?"
"You were hoping that I'd be so angry and hurt that I'd leave him, and that he'd run into your waiting arms."
Jadzia was right on target, but Deanna wasn't going to admit it, "In three hundred years, you seem to have developed an acute case of paranoia."
Dax tilted her head, "Maybe. Or maybe I'm just extremely perceptive. Look, I didn't come here to fight with you, because, frankly, you wouldn't stand a chance against me . I just wanted to let you know, that I forgave him. We made love last night. Worf made love to me. I think it's time you let go of him, because believe me, he's let go of you."
Troi was outraged. This woman was impudent, audacious, and insolent. Deanna paused, those were things a Klingon valued in a woman, "I'm leaving today," Deanna stated, "And you don't have to worry, I won't be back."
"Oh, I wasn't worried," Jadzia said with a cocky air in her voice, "I know where Worf's heart is. It wouldn't matter if you stayed here permanently. I just want you to know how he feels."
Counselor Troi sucked in a deep breath, "Is that all?"
Dax stood, once again using her body to scare Deanna. It was working, "Yes, it is. I hope you enjoyed your stay on Deep Space Nine."
Jadzia turned and left, leaving Counselor Troi alone. As she walked away, she smiled to herself. Some people were so easy to intimidate.
"We've done all we can here. Notify all remaining Starfleet personnel. We're evacuating the staion."
Every last person in Ops was stunned. The Dominon was attacking, and had just fallen back to regroup. The Defiant, commanded by Dax, had just finished planting the minfiled. It seemd like there was hope, but instead of launching another attack, Captain Sisko had just announced that they were backing out.
"Major Kira, Mr. Worf, I need to see you in my office."
The two officers follwed Benjamin up the steps. The door closed with a hissing sound behind them, "I know this comes as a surprise, but, Starfleet is willing to sacrifice DS9 for now. The plan was to fight long enough to get the minefiled activated and then get out. Mr. Worf, you're being assigned to General Martok's ship, the Rotarran. We need a Federtion liaison among the empire, and you're the best man for the job."
Worf curtly nodded, "Aye sir."
Sisko turned to Kira, "After we've gone, I want you to send out a welcome message to the Dominion, and then activate program Sisko 197."
"What will the program do?"
Ben smiled, "You'll see," he sighed, not ready to say the good byes that he knew were in order, "Dismissed," the two of them left, amd Ben spoke into the air, "Sisko to Dax."
"Dax here."
"We're evacuating the station, prepare a crew roster for the Defiant, you'll be serving as my first officer."
"What about Worf?"
"He's going to serve aboard Martok's ship."
Sisko could almost see the disappointment in her eyes, "Oh, I see I'll get right on it. Dax out."
Worf was supposed to be on his way to upper pylon one where the Rotarran was, but, instead, he was on his was to airlock six, the Defaint's airlock. Swarms of officers were on thier way there, and he wished they would just get out of his way. He didn't have much time to say goodbye to Jadzia.
Dax knew she should be completing the crew roster, but, instead she was on her way back to DS9. Her heart was pounding, for the past three weeks, every since Deanna Troi left, she'd been trying to find the perfect time to ask him about getting married. Well, now, time was up. Worf was going away from her, and she had to do something.
Dax stepped out of the airlock, and surprisingly, there he was, coming down the corridor, "Worf," she called to him.
"Jadzia," Dax pushed through the crowd to get to him, "You should be on the Defiant."
"I heard you're not coming with us, that you've been assigned to Martok's ship," she said.
"It may be some time before we see each other again "
"Worf, we may never see each other again."
"This is war. We must put aside our personal feelings and focus on the task at hand."
Jadzia knew exactly what he was trying to do. Worf was shielding himself, not wanting to face how desperate and helpless he was feeling, "I've been through my share of wars," she said, momentarily lowering her eyes, "I know what I have to do. But before you leave," she gripped his forearms, "I want you to know that the answer is yes."
"Yes," Worf nervously looked around, realizing he didn't have much time left, "Yes to what?"
"Yes I will marry you. That's what you've wanted from the begining, isn't it?"
Worf was stunned, "Yes," he said, his voice filled with awe, "Yes it is."
"Then when all of this is over, we'll get married. And if that doesn't give you a a reason to survive, I don't know what will," Jadzia cupped his face in her hands and gently kissed his lips. She turned and left, stepping back into the airlock.
Worf started down the corridor, letting what she said sink in. Jadzia Dax was going to be his wife. His wife. Worf turned back around and entered the airlock, "Jadzia!" She faced him. Worf swept her up in his arms and kissed her powerfully. A single tear fell down her cheek, "I love you," he said against her lips.
"I love you too."
"I have to go."
"I'm going to miss you."
"I will miss you, as well."
Jadzia stepped back and squeezed his hand, "The next time we see each other "
We will be married."
Dax smiled brightly, and forced herself to go back to the Defiant.
August 3, 1997
~The End~
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