Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is owned by Bandai and Sunrise. Star trek was created by Gene Roddenbery, I think Paramount owns it.

Deep Space Noin
Episode 2: The birds, the bees and the Borg


"Have you been able to get through to Trowa at all Catherine?" Relena asked as she sipped her milkshake.

"No, half the time he won't even turn his head when I call him. It's so hard. We were so young at the time. I remember it all so clearly, but he was just two years old and who knows what the Borg did to him. It isn't that he refuses to believe that I'm his sister. It's that he really doesn't care." Catherine Bloom sighed. It was good to have someone to talk to. And Relena was especially sympathetic because she had a thing for Heero Yuy, not that she would fess up to it or anything, but Catherine could tell. "I don't want to push him though, I know that he is scared and confused, even if he doesn't know it."

Relena sighed and nodded in agreement. She had tried to get through to Heero, but he was so emotionless. She knew how frustrated Catherine must feel.

"Hey Cathy, can I get another slice o'pie here?" Duo waved at the two ladies.

"I know you're eating for five..." Duo shook his head and held up seven fingers. "Okay seven, but I'm sure that the babies would appreciate a little more nutrient rich food."

"Yeah, well" chomp, smack, "the doc says they're all healthy, so I" chomp, chomp, "ain't changing a thing." Catherine sighed, placed the new slice of pie in front of Duo and left, ignoring the wink he gave her.

When Catherine sat back down she noticed that Relena was surpressing a fit of giggles. "Can you believe it, he's pregnant and still hitting on every woman on the ship?"

"That's not the half of it. According to Dorothy he isn't experiencing morning sickness, cravings or even any major hormonal inbalances. It's so not fair!" Relena rolled her eyes. "So."

"So?"

"So what are you going to do about Trowa?"

"Oh I don't know, just give him some more time I guess. What about you? Do you have some plan for Heero?" Catherine saw Relena blush.

"Well..." Relena looked down at her hands and smiled slightly embarrassed.

"What?! What are you planning Relena?" Catherine leaned over conspiratorally.

"Well I did create a new program for the holodeck." Relena began to tell Catherine her plan. While the girls were distracted Duo snuck over to the kitchen, grabbed the rest of the pie and headed to his quarters.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Heero pleeeaasse." Relena pouted at him and gave him her best puppy dog eyes, he didn't even blink.

"The holodeck is a useless waste of my time."

"But you're off duty, you don't have anything else to do."

"I have plenty to do. I am currently spending my free time assimilating all data in the ship's computer on Cardacian-Bajoran relations, physiology, sociology and mentality for the past five hundred years."

"Why?" Relena looked at him confused.

"To better understand the Bajoran and Cardacian minds. Since I can no longer assimilate other species, studying their behavior is the only way to determine their genetic distinctiveness. We Borg take the best traits of all species in order to gain genetic superiorty."

"But Heero I'm a Bajoran, so if you want to know about the Bajoran species then you should just ask me." Relena smiled sweetly at Heero who just looked at her blankly.

"That method is most time consuming." He turned to go, but Relena wasn't about to let him off that easy.

"Heero correct me if I am wrong, but didn't the captain order you and Trowa to begin an exploration of your own human needs and emotions?" Heero frowned slightly and quickly, but Relena saw it. The captain had ordered the former Borg to try to get along with the crew better too.

"Let's proceed." Heero walked towards the holodeck and Relena followed him happily. Once they were inside Relena started the program she had created. It was a beautiful spring day on Bajor. She had programmed a picnic next to a medium sized lake surrounded by trees and a field of wildflowers. Her attire was a simple sundress. Heero was dressed in casual pants and a button down shirt. He took a quick look at himself but didn't comment on the attire.

"What is the objective of this program?"

"There's not really an objective. I find this environment relaxing." Relena sat down on the blanket with the picnic basket beside it.

"So the objective is to relax?"

"Yes." Relena patted the blanket trying to get Heero to sit next to her. He remained standing.

"I am already relaxed, there is no point in my staying." Heero turned but Relena stopped him by getting up, grabbing his shoulder and turning him so that they faced each other.

"You're relaxed? You don't even know the meaning of the word." She looked amused.

"Relax: To make or become lax or loose. I am currently not restrained in any way, hence I am relaxed." Heero turned again.

"No, you are not relaxed. If you were you wouldn't have said what you just said in that way. Now why don't you sit down. Catherine made us a nice picnic lunch." Relena grabbed Heero's hand and dragged him over to the blanket.

"I have turkey or ham sandwiches, which do you prefer?" She asked as she began to pull things out of the picnic basket.

"Which has the greater nutriental content?" He sat indian style on the blanket mimicing Relena, except his back was rigid and his eyes stared ahead intensely.

"Uh, I don't know, I think they're pretty even."

"I have no preference."

"Okay." Relena handed him a sandwich and then began to pour out two glasses of wine. She handed one to Heero.

They began to eat in silence.

"So how do you like the ship Heero?"

"It is a substandard vessel compared to the Borg cube. It has insufficent offense and defensive capabilities and is not run efficiently. Space is not allocated to achieve maximum advantage and the ventilation system is outdated."

'Well at least he's talking to me,' thought Relena.

"Are you happy here?"

Heero stared at her. "I can survive on this vessel."

"That's not what I asked, Heero. Are you happy? Do you like it here or do you wish you were somewhere else?" Relena took a chance and laid her hand on his forearm. He looked at her hand curiously but didn't remove it.

"I have no desire to be elsewhere. I do not wish to return to the Borg." He replied emotionlessly.

Relena sighed. "Well that's good. I am glad you're here. Trowa too." She added the last part quickly.

"Why are you glad? Our presense here puts this vessel in danger."

"Because Heero, you and Trowa deserve better than being Borg drones. You are human and you have the right to be free and happy." Relena smiled at him and handed him an apple.

"I do not believe that Trowa and I have any more or less rights just because we are human. You are a Bajoran, do you deserve less rights than we do?"

"Being human extends beyond having an earthling for an ancestor. It is more about being a sentient being. You know being a living creature with intelligence, feelings and desires."

"Then I am not human, I have neither feelings nor desires."

"Really? I think you do. I think that you just aren't aware of them. You have them, but you don't recognize them." Both Relena and Heero had finished their apples. Relena took a deep breath. 'Okay don't chicken out now.' She thought as she got ready for her next move.

"Will you trust me for a minute Heero. I think I know how I can help you get in touch with some of those emotions and desires."

He looked at her wih just a hint of suspicion, but decided to trust her anyway. He nodded his head and Relena leaned forward and kissed him softly. He had remained motionless the entire time. She pulled back and looked at him, blushing slightly.

"So do you feel anything right now?" She asked with a slight grin.

He did, but he wasn't sure how to describe what he felt. He noticed his core temperature had risen and the touch of her lips on his seemed to linger, despite their absense. He had read up on human emotions and physical behavior and he surmised that his desire to continue the kiss was known as lust. He looked at her and noticed the blush and smile. She must also be feeling lust. He realized the beverage he had consumed had contained some alcohol. His eyes opened slightly as he recognized the behavior that she was exhibiting.

"You are trying to initiate a mating ritual with me. Why?" He asked.

Relena was flustered. She didn't know what to say to that. "I wasn't, I...I just was trying to..."

"You were engaged in an act of seduction."

"No! No I wasn't. I was not trying to seduce you!" Relena looked angry, but he knew from her first reaction that he had been correct.

"You have the need to procreate?" Relena couldn't tell if it was a statement or a question.

"What?!"

"You are in your child bearing years." Heero stated.

"Look that's not what's going on. I just wanted to get to know you a LITTLE better." Relena emphasized the word little. "I wasn't trying to get you to sleep with me."

"My research indicates that mating rituals do not involve sleep."

"Listen Heero, this isn't very relaxing anymore, so maybe we should change the program." She was really upset now and got up to leave but Heero stood up and blocked her path.

"I have angered you?" He asked.

"Well, yes and no. I know that you don't understand, but some of what you said was very insulting." She was calmer now that she had looked into his eyes, which were emotionless. Most people were irked by this, but not her. She found his eyes to be soothing.

"Please explain what was insulting. I would like to understand."

"Well some of what you said was true. I am at the age where I think about finding someone to marry and have children with. A mate. And I admit that I like you and want to get to know you better because I think that you may have the potential to one day, in the distant future, possibly be that person. But I wasn't trying to seduce, or trick you into having physical relations with me. Do you understand?"

"Physical relations? You mean sex."

"Uhm yes."

"You do not want to have sex with me?" Relena thought she heard a note of disappointment in Heero's voice, but that didn't seem right.

"No."

Heero nodded, but said nothing. Relena didn't know what to say, the day had definitely not gone as she had planned. She kneeled down to pack up the picnic basket when Heero surprised her with an unexpected question.

"Is sex relaxing?" Relena looked at him with wide eyes, but quickly regained her composure.

"Well usually people are relaxed after they've had sex, but sex itself is not relaxing."

"I do not understand. If we had sex would the objective of this program be achieved?"

"Possibly, but I don't think that's necessary. I am relaxed now." Relena didn't want to lie, but she really wanted to change subjects.

"I do not know if I am relaxed." Relena had to suppress the urge to roll her eyes.

"Well I guess you still have some research to do. Thank you for spending the afternoon with me Heero."

"I have learned a lot, Relena. If you need to relax again, I will have sex with you. I believe it would be a valuable learning experience." Relena somehow managed to keep her mouth closed. She nodded at Heero as they left the holodeck and walked away in opposite directions. When she reached her quarters she collapsed on the bed and then began laughing madly. 'I don't think even sex could get that guy to relax,' she thought to herself as she tried to think of something to tell Catherine about the afternoon. No way was she going to tell her the truth.

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