Disclaimer: Go Marvel, Go Marvel, you rock, yeah. Older than MTV, but way cooler.
The List
by Polka Dot
"Bobby mon ami, I t'ink you need to explain dis."
Bobby half-looked, but not really because he could tell it was
Gambit and he was watching subtitled anime, behind him.
"Explain what?"
"Dis!" Gambit shoved the little post-it note in front
of Bobby's face.
Bobby glanced at it, blushed profusely and then waved it off.
"Oh that. That's a joke. You know me, I like to make
jokes." Bobby hid his discomfort well.
"Hmph. Yeah dat's what I thought, I mean what else could it
be? Course, if it wasn't a joke, you ain't got nothin' ta feel
bad about. A lot of guys find me attractive. It's something I'm
used to." Remy grinned, he was hot and he knew it. Oh yeah.
"What?!" Bobby turned, nearly jumped, but managed to
stay on the sofa. "You think that I find you attractive!
What are you nuts? I don't find other guys attractive. I AM Not
Gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that."
"Non of course not, but if you ain't gay then why make up a
list of guys you wanna..." Remy tapped his head to think of
a diplomatic way to say this, then grinned when he figured how
amusing it would be to say it the undiplomatic way.
"screw."
Bobby blushed or maybe his face was turning red from anger, but
Remy didn't think so. Either way he managed to shrink and then
puff himself up like fish. "It's not a list of guys that I'd
like to 'screw'. It's a list of guys that 'if I had a gun to my
head and no other choice' then 'I might be able to sleep with
them without cutting my own head off afterwards'."
Remy nodded. "Oh ah see. Well den dat makes much more
sense." 'Yeah right.' He grinned. "So how do you come
up wit a list like dis?"
"Well I was sitting in my room and...Hey you went in my
room!" Bobby's eyes widened in horror.
Remy shrugged. "Yeah well I am a t'ief and you left the door
open. Be t'ankful you don't own one damn t'ing worth
stealin'."
"What? I got plenty of nice stuff, like my Lina Inverse
action figure. That cost me seventy bucks on eBay."
Remy rolled his eyes and pointed at the piece of paper in Bobby's
hand. "Stop stallin' an explain."
Bobby waved around the little peice of paper and smiled. "Oh
fine. It's really pretty obvious. See, Number 1 is RuPaul - Well
he makes a pretty convincing woman. So I could probably live in
denial."
"Yeah probably." Remy thought Bobby might already be
living in denial, but he did want to hear the rest of the list,
so he didn't bring that up.
Bobby nodded. "Number 2 is Tommy Lee - Yeah I know he's
skanky and gross but it's like screwing Pamela Anderson, or Lee
or well whatever, vicariuously."
"Hmph. And den some."
Bobbly blushed a little. "Number 3 is Antonio Banderas -
Okay I admit, that dude's sexy."
Remy nodded. He wouldn't admit it, but he actually agreed with
that.
"Number 4 is Scott - Because he's got a stick stuck so far
up his ass, there likely won't be any penetration."
Bobby grinned and Remy couldn't help chuckling at that one.
"An number 5?"
Bobby coughed and looked down. He couldn't quite remember the
reason for number five, but he was sure he had one. Oh well, time
to think on the fly, after all that was what he was best at.
"Oh yeah number 5: Remy - Well you're there mainly because
if I'm gonna be tortured, well than I might as well make sure
you're going through hell too."
"Dat's it?"
"Sure, I mean you don't think I could possibly enjoy doing
something like that do you?" Bobby turned back to the TV
screen. "Especially not with you."
Remy smiled and rolled his eyes. He felt sorry for Bobby. After
all he was almost too sexy for words. It must be hard living in
the same house with someone you desperately want but can't have.
At least this Cajun didn't play games like Rouge did. He walked
away with a happy little smirk on his face. He made a mental note
to wear tight shorts to tomorrow morning's Danger Room practice.
There was no way that he was going to be number five on anyone's
list. Especially not when Number 2 was Tommy Lee.