“Was that….” Michael sputtered as he starred disbelievingly at the covered form on the bed.
Justin grabbed Michael by the front is jacket shushing him with a finger to his lips then drug him outside the loft door so Brian…if it was Brian, wouldn’t overhear.
“It sounded like him. Didn’t it? Did you think so?” Justin asked Michael unsure of what they’d both witnessed.
“Yeah the ‘yo bitches’ thing did. Do any of the other personalities sound like Brian?”
“No. Young Brian’s voice is higher…”
“No shit?” Michael snickered.
“Get serious.” Justin’s brows knitted together as he scowled at Michael’s audacity to find any humor in what Brian was going through.
“Sorry.”
“It’s not ‘the keeper’s voice that’s… shut up Michael… its more gravelly and deeper. You heard older Paul’s voice. I’m pretty sure that was Brian.”
“Who the hell is ‘the keeper’? Sounds like a badly named character from Harry Potter…or something.”
“He said Brian thinks of him as pain management. Young Brian is the one who calls him ‘the keeper of the key.’”
“Man can this get any weirder?” Michael scratched his head.
“I think it’s about to. Who knows if Brian will stay or what he’s going to remember.”
Michael’s cell phone went off.
“If its Deb don’t let her know we’re back.”
Michael looked at the caller ID.
“It’s Ben.”
Mr. & Mrs. Johnson are sitting on the couch. Mrs. Johnson is dapping at her eyes with her handkerchief.
“I’m really sorry ma’am I don’t mean to upset you. Like I said I’m not on official business the information I’m looking for may help a friend. I was hoping you’d remember him Brian Kinney?” Carl asked he was beginning to feel very uncomfortable. He didn’t want to cause these poor people to have to relive their tragic loss, but it seemed like the only way to get to the truth.
“I never trusted that boy.” Mrs. Johnson said sniffing into her handkerchief. “He was nothing but trouble that whole family brought shame to the neighborhood.
“Betty, now you’re not being fair to the boy he got a rotten
lot in life. It wasn’t his fault.”
“I’m wiped.” Justin yawned and spread himself out on the large floor cushions.
Michael sat on the steps leading to the bedroom.
“Michael I doubt he’s going to be waking up for hours. Go home to your husband and I’ll let you know when he’s awake.”
“It’s just too bizarre. Why would he pretend to be a kid like that? Even when Brian’s queening out he never plays the victim role it’s just not in him.”
“Yeah well he’s not being very Brian Kinney these days. Dr. Baxter said that Brian has an incredibly complex personality if different parts of his personality split when he was a kid there’s no telling how many different sides of him we’re going to get.”
“So why did you come back so soon?”
“The ‘keeper’ personality said it would be better for Brian to be at home. He seems to be the one in charge, or at least he talks as if he is. I’m not sure if I trust him. He’s kind of creepy.” Justin rolled over on his back and stared at the ceiling in thought. “It’s like he’s the puppetmaster, but he treats the younger version of Brian like shit, scares him with threats.”
“How does he sound?”
“His voice is an octave or two lower and gravely like he’s smoked too much.”
“His dad’s voice sounded like that.”
“There’s something about windows too. At the hotel he always sat in a chair near the window and when we got here he seemed mesmerized by them. Any ideas?”
“It’s one of the reasons he bought the loft. I remember the first time he showed it to me. Fuck, it was a dirty and needed tons of work. I couldn’t believe he was so excited about it. He said…look Mikey no walls, no doors and the windows it makes the place feel like it goes on forever.” Michael remembered the look on Brian’s face that day it was if for the first time his friend had really come alive.
“Michael I really need to get some sleep. Stay if you want.” With that Justin rolled over and dropped off to sleep.
Michael watched as Justin’s breathing got deeper and more rhythmic. When he was sure boy wonder was asleep he tip-toed up the stairs. He watched Brian for a few moments the man’s features twitched slightly, his eyes moving back and forth in their sockets. Brian was dreaming. Michael stared intently at the face of his best friend remembering the thousands of times he’d watched his friend as he slept. It was always spellbinding like staring at an ancient Greek sculpture. Brian began to thrash around his arm reaching out searching the bed next to him. Michael toed off his shoes crawled onto the bed grabbed the searching arm gently and wrapped it around his waist as he lay down next to Brian. ‘Just like old times’ he thought as a smile formed on his lips he closed his eyes, and snuggled closer.
“Is this illegal?” Deb whispered
to Carl as entered an old warehouse filled with files.
“Not exactly I could have ordered
the files from storage, but I didn’t want to call attention to the case. It’s closed as far as the police are
concerned and I’m too close to retirement.”
Carl explained.
“Damn!” Deb exclaimed snapping her
gum. “It’s kind of sexy… don’t look at me that way… I mean sneaking around
trying to find clues it’s kind of hot.” Deb laughed and hit Carl on the arm.
“And that’s why I love you so
much.” Carl smiled down on the bright redhead and kissed her cheek and turned
on his flashlight. “Everything’s filed by
year so both files should be close to one another.”
“How exactly is this going to help
Brian again?” Deb turned on her flashlight looking around the huge warehouse
filled with rows of filing cabinets.
“If we can find out all of the
facts at least as the police knew them it may help Brian come to grips with his
past.”
“You think his uncle had something
to do with that little boy getting killed?”
“You’ve been watching too many
detective shows.”
“Give it up Carl I know when
you’re not telling the whole truth.”
“Okay, yes I have a gut
feeling. Having the two files together
and with what I’ve been able to get from Monahan’s parole officer I’m hoping
will fill in some of the blanks.”
“Why don’t we just go talk to the
fucking pervert ourselves?” Deb countered.
“Because I want the facts first,
then ‘I’ will to talk to him.”
“Yeah you’re right I’d just wanna kill the fucker.
Carl?” Deb put her arms around his shoulders. “You are a good man, thank you for all this.”
Deb sniffed back tears and kissed her man hard on the lips.
After Deb pulled away Carl
shrugged. “He’s one of our boys and he
needs our help.”
“I stand corrected you are a
fucking saint!”
“Yeah well I’ll try to remember
that when I confront Monahan.”
He could feel the warm body snuggled next to his. It felt good. He had missed the feeling of completeness he got when Justin was around. Wanting to be closer he pulled at the smaller body next to him. As his face made contact with the top of the smaller mans head his eyes flew open.
“Michael what the fuck are you doing here?” Disappointment and anger tinged his words.
Michael awoke with a start his heart raced. Looking up he found hazel eyes darkened with anger. He’d seen it many times before when he pushed the limits of their friendship since Justin’s entrance into Brian’s life.
“I…uh fell asleep.” Michael’s lame excuse didn’t hide the shame in his eyes.
“Why are you here?”
“You haven’t been your… I mean you haven’t been feeling well and I came to check on you.”
“That doesn’t explain why you’re in my bed.” Brian sat up quickly then shielded his face as the light from the windows pierced his eyes causing the pounding in his head to become more pronounced.
“What the fuck did I take my head feels like it’s going to explode!” He cradled his head in his hands as he swung his long legs over the edge of the bed. When his feet hit the floor he leaned his elbows on his knees and took in great gulps of air to fight the feeling of nausea that was now overwhelming him.
“Brian lie down.” Justin grabbed Brian’s wrists gently and guided him back resting his head on the pillow. “Michael, close the shades we need to get it as dark in here as possible.”
“We need to get him to the hospital.” Michael commanded.
“Just do it Michael.”
“Justin?” Brian asked his voice weak.
“I’m right here.” Justin lightly brushed his hand across Brian’s forehead.
“You’re in
“I’m right here Brian. You’ve been ill. I came home to help.”
“What’s wrong with me? Why does my head fucking hurt so much?”
“I don’t know, but Michael’s right we should get you to the hospital.”
“What day is it?”
“Thursday.” Michael answered after completing his task.
“I’ve been out for four days? What the fuck? Justin?”
“Right here…try to open your eyes now.”
“Can’t I’m gonna be sick.” Brian pushed against Justin to get up.
“Michael hand me the trash can.”
Justin snatched it from Michael’s hand and slid it under Brian’s head just in time.
“Wow, you’re good.” Michael said with a nervous laugh.
“
“Oh god I’m gonna die.” Brian moaned as he brought his head up from the can long enough to take a short breath before he began retching again.
“Michael, get his shoes on him and grab a coat. Brian you’re going to be fine, but we need to get you to a hospital.”
Brian’s head bobbed up from the can once again.
“If I’m gonna be fine why are you taking me to the hospital?”
Neither man had an answer. Thankfully, Brian was overcome with another bout of retching. Michael hurriedly put a pair of Nike’s over Brian’s bare feet and grabbed a heavy wool jacket from his closet. It took both of them to slip each of Brian’s arms in the coat and get him to his feet. Brian held the trash can close as Justin and Michael got him to his feet.
“Michael, go pull your car around to the front. I’ll get him in the elevator.”
Michael did as he was told. Justin walked Brian slowly to the elevator.
“Do you get migraines often?”
“Never, I’ve had bad headaches,
but never like this.”
Brian was lying on a treatment
room bed still holding tight to the trash can.
A nurse entered and handed syringe
to the doctor.
“This should help.”
“What is that?” Justin asked
cautiously.
“Sumatriptan
the injection will help almost immediately, but he’ll be out of it for a while.”
The doctor opened an alcohol wiped
and swabbed a small area on the inside of Brian’s forearm then injected the
painkiller.
“Fuck!! It burns.” Brian squeezed his eyes tight which only
aggravated the pain in his head.
“Only for a few
seconds.” The doctor disposed of the
needle.
“Can I take him home now?” Justin
asked.
“Yes. Here’s a prescription to help with the
nausea. I suggest you consult with your
own physician. He may want to run more
tests.”
“Shit more tests?” Justin
whispered to himself.
“What was that?” The doctor asked.
“Nothing, I’ll make sure he goes
to his own doctor.” Justin smiled weakly and took the prescription from the
doctor.
“Give him a few minutes for the
pain to ease. I’ll have a nurse bring in
a wheel chair. He’ll be pretty unstable
when he gets on his feet. And make sure
he rests for at least 24 hours.”
Justin nodded and the doctor left
the exam room.
“Is it getting any better?” Justin
asked as he gently rubbed Brian’s arm at the injection site. Brian’s eyes were still closed.
“A little.”
“I told you, you weren’t going to
die.”
“I still might.”
“Don’t say that you’re going to be
fine. Just let the medicine work.”
“Justin?”
“Yeah.”
“When I feel better I want the
whole fucking story.”
“What story?” Justin tensed up
unsure about what Brian was really asking.
“Don’t bullshit me. I want to know why you came back from
“I promise to tell you everything,
but you have to rest for 24 hours like the doctor said.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
“Carl, I know you’re trying to
help this kid, but I just got the guy settled in. These guys who spend so much of their adult
life inside…they don’t adapt too quickly to the outside. If you go in and rile him up it’ll throw him
off kilter. Give it a few months let him
get comfortable.”
“Manny please this kid doesn’t
have months. He’s in trouble now, his
entire life could fall apart and he is a very successful businessman. Who is this fuck? And what does his life
matter compared to Brian Kinney’s.
Beside the fact that it was Monahan that set him off in the first place,
I’m sure if the pervert had just left him alone….”
“You really think he’s gonna tell you anything?
He still won’t admit he sexually abused and kidnapped five other boys
and he was caught red handed.” Manny
shook his head and leaned back into his tattered office chair.
“And what if I told you he may be
directly linked to a boy’s death?” Carl
leaned in staring hard at his old friend.
“I know where you’re goin with this Carl and that kid wasn’t murdered. If you asked me he killed himself, but the
powers that be wanted that hushed up. It
wouldn’t have looked too good for the system or for the family if it got out
the kid committed suicide.”
“Funny that an 8-year old kid
would choose to take his own life, maybe something really bad happened to him
and he couldn’t handle it.”
“You’re fishing Carl. The man did his time the courts not gonna haul him back in on something that thin.”
“Do you even know what happened to
those five boys he molested? No, because who gives a fuck once the perves in jail right?”
“Don’t put that shit on me
Carl. We’re cops we ain’t
got nothing to do with that. It was up to the families to get them boys
help.”
“Help? You think those
boys families had that kind of money?
All of them blue collar workers just like us. Two of the boys committed suicide at
sixteen. One’s been in and out of rehab
for fifteen years and the other two changed their names and disappeared. Now, Brian has worked hard to overcome all
that shit from his childhood and that fucker went to his office and messed with
his head. I want to try and get some
things straight about what really happened so the doctor has facts to go
on. Right now the kid is so messed up he
doesn’t even remember who the fuck he is.
And all I’m asking is to talk to Monahan for an hour.”
“One hour, but I have to be
there.” Manny acquiesced.
“Thank you.”
“You owe me one.”
“Of course.” Carl smiled.
“Fuck he’s heavy.”
“Quit whining Michael and
concentrate on getting him into bed without dropping him on the floor.”
Justin and Michael half carried
the taller man up the steps to the platform bed.
“Michael we’ve got to turn him
around and let him down gently. I don’t
want to jar him any more than we have to.”
The two men struggled, but managed
to lower a very groggy Brian gently onto the bed. Justin helped Brian out of his coat as Michael
slipped off his shoes and lifted the long legs onto the bed. Justin made sure there were at least two
pillows supporting Brian’s head then covered him with the duvet.
“How long did the doc say he’d be
out?”
“He just said he needed to rest
for at least 24 hours.”
“And the tests were conclusive?
They didn’t find anything?”
“Nothing. He’s been through a
lot of emotional stress. I’m sure that’s
probably the cause.” Justin said as he
walked into the kitchen. He opened the
fridge looking for something he was starving.
“Shit.”
“What?”
“I forgot about the
groceries. I’m sure they tried to
deliver them by now. Michael will you go
down to the market and get them.” Justin
pulled out his wallet and handed Michael a couple of 20’s.
“It’s okay. You go I’ll keep an eye on him.”
“Why so you can crawl next to him
and get your rocks off?” Justin spat.
“Fuck you. He was thrashing around probably looking for
you. I just wanted to make sure he was
comfortable.”
Justin squeezed his eyes shut for
a moment then walked over to Michael and pushed the bills into his hand.
“Go get the groceries…please.”
Michael nodded and left.
Justin’s cell rang.
“Justin Taylor.”
“Mr. Taylor, its Dr. Baxter how’s
Paul…I mean Brian doing?”
“He’s back, for now anyway. But he’s got a raging migraine. A doctor at the er gave him something he’s sleeping.”
“Justin, I think I found someone
in
“Dr. Baxter, I’m not sure Brian
would open up to a shrink. Hell, I’m not
sure how to explain to him what’s happened since he disappeared.”
“Why don’t you just talk to this
doctor, his name is Colin McCormack. He
specializes in adults who have been physically and emotional abused as
children. And he’s gay. I think he can gain his trust he’s also a
survivor of abuse.”
“I think I know him. Maybe you’re right. I’ll talk to him do you have his number?”
“You little weak
tit!” He could hear the gravely voice
deep in his brain.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean too. I’m so tired.” His voice was strained with
exhaustion.
“I knew I couldn’t count on you. You always let him down when he most needs
you.”
“He needs Justin don’t you see
that?”
“And you think the twink’s going to stick around when he finds out? He’ll run back to
“Why does anyone have to find
out? Can’t we just go on the way we
have? He doesn’t have to know. Let him stay.
He’ll go back to the way he was and forget.”
“It’s too late for that you stupid
little fuck. All those memories are out
floating around his brain. How in the
hell are we going to put them back without him remembering. When the pain in his head is gone the
memories will start to eat at him again.”
“But he can get a doctor to
help. He’s stronger now.”
“And you’re forgetting the scarfing incident and the cancer. He was going to fly off and die.”
“But he didn’t. He got better because of Justin. Geez, he went to
Justin’s prom after the scarfing thing. I know he doesn’t want to die.”
“He will when he remembers.”
“I think he’s the best
choice. He knows Brian and he works with
adult survivors of abuse.”
“Brian doesn’t believe in
shrinks. How are we going to convince
him he needs to talk to one?”
“When I tell him everything he’ll
want to sort it out. He’s got too much
to lose now to let his past fuck up his future.”
“He’ll just deny anything is wrong
like he always does and go on like he always has. That’s what Brian does.”
“He can’t do that this time
Michael.”
“Can’t do what?” Brian asked as he staggered down the steps
from the bedroom.
Justin rushed over to him taking
his arm guiding him to a chair at the dining table.
“Brian you should be resting.”
“You two would make lousy church
mice. Maybe, I could get some rest if
you two bitches weren’t out here arguing.”
Brian leaned his head into his hands.
“What the fuck did I take? I’ve
never had a hang over this bad.”
“You don’t remember going to the
hospital?” Justin asked.
“Right, I have a migraine. I think the pain medication is wearing off,
got anymore?”
“Not the same stuff, but the
doctor prescribed some pills. You’re suppose to rest for 24 hours before you can take anything
else. You’ve only been out for four
hours.”
“Rest does not mean sleep and give
me the damn pills.”
“And watch you totally fuck
yourself up, no. First you’ll eat
something and then go back to bed. I’ll
bet once you get something besides painkillers into your system you’ll feel
better.”
Michael stood back shaking his
head. Justin just forgot rule number one
in the Brian Kinney operations manual.
Never tell him what he’s going to do.
Justin busied himself in the
kitchen making Brian a turkey sandwich and putting a tea kettle on the
stove. Brian sat silently at the table
and watched. Michael starred in
amazement.
Michael thought he must be
witnessing a transformation so he sat down at the table across from Brian.
“Brian?”
“Mikey,
I really don’t feel up to conversation right now. Why don’t you toddle home to your hubby. I’m sure you
and Sunshine can continue your argument later or never.”
“I, well I just want to make sure
you’re alright. You’ve been…”
“Michael…” Justin broke in.
“Brian’s right we can talk about what’s going on with Rage later.” Justin
nodded his head toward the door hoping the usually dense man would get the
clue.
“You sure you don’t need me
Brian?” Michael asked hoping.
“I’ll be fine, now go.”
“Alright.” Michael stood up
and gathered up his jacket and walked over to Justin. “You’ll call me if…”
“If I need to.” Justin hissed through his teeth.
Michael let his anger at being
dismissed show in the extra shove he gave the door as he closed it. The loud noise caused Brian to groan.
“Asshole.” Justin whispered under his breath as he poured two cups of
tea. He took one cup and the plate with
Brian’s sandwich to the table.
“I don’t think I can keep anything
down.”
“Drink a little bit of the tea
first it will calm your stomach.”
Brian took a few sips of the hot
brew as instructed. Justin was surprised
that Brian was being so cooperative. He
usually bulked when Justin’s maternal side kicked in.
The two men sat in silence as
Brian sipped his tea and even ate half of his sandwich.
“Feel better?”
Brian nodded, pushed his plate
away and got up taking his tea with him and found a more comfortable place on
the floor cushions.
“Time to talk
Sunshine.” Brian stated.
The adrenaline rush made his head
swim and his heart feel as if he had just run a marathon. He stood up his legs felt shaky, but he
managed to join Brian on the cushions without falling on his face on the way.
“Brian, I think this should wait until
you’re…”
“What’s wrong with me and don’t
try to bullshit around it just tell me.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It’s a brain tumor.” Brian stated
as if he were absolutely sure of his fate.
“No, you were put through every
test imaginable and the doctors found no physical reason for what’s been
happening to you.”
Brian wasn’t convinced. He wanted an answer something solid he could
grasp and then find out his options and make a decision just like before.
“Are you lying to make me feel
better or are you in denial?”
“I’m telling you the truth. You haven’t been, how do I…”
“Just tell me!” Brian yelled and
threw his cup across the room.
Justin took a deep breath and let
it out slowly as the cup rolled to a stop leaving pieces of itself along the
way.
“Christ Brian, this isn’t easy to
explain in a few words. Give me a
fucking minute to think.”
Brian squeezed his eyes shut and
sighed loudly.
“I know I’ve been blacking
out. When I woke up with the extreme
pain in my head it made sense that it was probably a tumor.”
“Why didn’t you tell anyone about
the blackouts?”
Brian gave him a look and Justin
remembered this was Brian he didn’t even tell anyone he had cancer until dear
old Mikey spilled the beans.
“You don’t remember anything?”
Brian shook his head.
“You haven’t been you.”
“What the fuck are you talking
about?”
“Two weeks ago you
disappeared. Carl helped find you he put
out a missing persons report and you turned up in
“Explains the bruises, who did I
say I was?” Brian’s curiosity was peeked.
“Paul Smith a 19 year old hustler. You even said you weren’t gay that you only
hustled men for money. You, Paul told
the doctor there that you were an orphan abandoned by your parents when you
were little.”
“Why would I say that? Why would believe I was a fucking straight hustler?” Brian shook his head not able to believe he
was hearing the truth.
“Brian pay attention okay, listen
to the rest maybe it will make more sense.”
Brian went silent and let Justin
continue.
“You’re lying! If you thought Brian would be so happy to see
you why did you give an alias and tell his assistant you were a client?” Carl leaned in close to the old perverts face. He’d always loved this part of being a
detective intimidating someone gave him a rush.
Something he knew he could never impart to his beloved.
The old man was immune to the
tactic. He’d been inside too many years.
“I didn’t want to cause the boy
any embarrassment. Brian’s obviously
done very well for himself and I didn’t want to take the chance that anyone
would remember.” Monahan didn’t break
eye contact as he calmly told Carl the truth.
“And I suppose Brian accepted you
with open arms?” Carl stepped back crossing his arms across his chest. He wasn’t going to give this son of a bitch
the upper hand.
“Of course not,
the boy…Brian hadn’t seen me in all that time, and I was never given the
opportunity to tell him the truth. I’m
sure with everything he’d heard from his old man and the newspapers he was
confused. He and I were close when I
lived with my sister. Jack didn’t give a
shit about that kid and poor Joanie never had time
with all her church duties and dealing with that piece of shit husband. Brian was in desperate need of
attention.” Monahan seemed sincere in
his recollections.
“And you were there to provide the
attention? You want me to believe that
you didn’t do to Brian what you did to those other boys?” Carl paced.
“I didn’t do anything to those
boys. They all came to me for the same
reasons Brian did. Come on detective it
was the 1970’s and steel down was a dump.
All the plant closings men out of work with families, you had to have
seen what happened. Most of the families
that lived in that neighborhood were hit hard by the closings. It was a wonder Jack was able to keep a job
and it was only by the grace of God and the fact that the plant he worked in
was one of the only plants that made the transition.”
“Are you going to make a fucking
point?”
“That the rate of alcohol
consumption by unemployed fathers, in blue color
“Are you trying to rationalize
sexually molesting young boys with some fucked up statistics?” Carl was appalled.
“Those boys had no male guidance
and the attention they did receive from their fathers was for the most part disapproving
and harsh. Jack never said one kind word
to that kid and the only physical attention he got was usually given with the
back of his hand or a fist. Those boys
came to me because I was a positive influence.
I was tactile with them yes, but the parents, authorities and the
goddamn media were the ones who turned my innocent affections for those boys
into something perverted and made me into a monster! Forgive my outburst, but it’s hard to let go
of the anger after having 25 years of my life taken away.” The frail old man sat in an old overstuffed
chair his hands neatly folded in his lap and outwardly appeared to have a
genuine concern for the young boys he was accused of molesting.
“Monahan either you should be up
for a fucking Oscar or you are completely insane! I’ll put my money on insanity. You were caught naked holding one boy on your
lap with your hands down his pants, another boy lying naked on the couch, and
three boys locked in a closet bound and gagged.
And you sit there and try to fucking diminish your fucking atrocities as
if you were a fucking saint for caring about them? So help me if you ever go near another kid
again I’ll make sure you never get out of prison again, at least not alive!”
“Are you threatening me
detective? Because even as a parolee I
still have rights and I have the right not to be harassed. I paid my debt for what this society sees as a
perversion. No one wants to see what I
did for those boys, especially Brian. I
loved them. I gave them comfort and
affection when their own parents ignored them and beat them. If their parents had cared they never would
have come to me looking for what they weren’t getting at home!”
“I’ve heard enough from this sick
fuck.” Carl turned to go.
“Detective, answer one question
for me?”
Carl turned his hands trembling
wanting nothing more than to beat the man’s face to a bloody pulp.
“Was Jack Kinney ever arrested or
spend time in jail for abusing his own son?”
Carl shook his head slowly. As much as he loathed too agree with this
sick fuck he had a point.
“Stay away from Brian Kinney
you’ve done enough damage to that kid.”
“I only wanted Brian to know the
truth and that I still love him.”
Carl lost control and grabbed
Monahan by the front of the shirt.
“Carl back off or I’ll have to
arrest you.” Manny jumped in and pulled
Carl off.
Carl shrugged Manney
off and held tight to the collar of the deluded, self-righteous ex-prisoner. “I said stay the fuck away from Brian Kinney
or you’ll disappear forever.”
Carl pushed him roughly into the
chair and finally let go then headed toward the door.
He was once again stopped at the door
by the sound of the old pervert’s voice.
“I never did anything to Brian he didn’t
want me to. We loved each other. A love society can never accept because it’s
so pure.”
Carl didn’t dare turn around he
knew if he did the fucker was dead. Bile was rising fast in throat he barely made
it out the door before having to stop and throw up in the bushes outside the
run down apartment building.
“I’m not lying! Why would I make up such an elaborate
story? Brian you have to believe what
I’m telling you. You need to get help.” Justin was emotionally warn out the last hour
had been draining.
Brian paced around the loft like a
mad man shaking his head in total disbelief of what Justin had told him. He had no recollection of the last two
weeks. That apparently, other
personalities had taken over his body, his mind, his fucking life.
“Justin stop, I’m not saying that
you’re lying or making it up. I don’t
believe it. I can’t accept it. If what you’re saying is what really happened
why don’t ‘I’ know about these other people in my head? People who have multiple personalities they
know it, don’t they? They know there are
other people in their head. How can I
not know?” Brian ran his hands through
his hair in frustration, stopped pacing and stared down at Justin.
“Maybe they’re trying to protect
you from something?” Justin shrugged his shoulders and slumped back against the
cushions. He was so damn tired and
wanted to cry, but he couldn’t he had to stay calm and strong…for Brian.
“There’s nothing to protect me
from!” Brian shouted and walked to the windows to stare out over the city. He had to find a focal point to keep his mind
still for a few moments before he totally lost it.
“What about the guy who came to
see you two weeks ago at Kinnetic? Cynthia said his name was William Robertson
he claimed he had an appointment with you.
She said you were upset and told her if he came in again to call
security.”
“I don’t remember that.” Brian continued to stare at the darkening
city.
“Carl thought the guy might be
your uncle.” Justin watched Brian
intently for any sign of recognition.
“I don’t have an uncle. There are only aunts on both sides. Jack was the only male in his family.”
“That’s not true Brian.” Justin got to his feet and walked slowly
towards Brian. “You’re mom has a younger
brother his name is Robert Monahan.”
Brian’s body began to shake. Justin stayed within arms reach to steady
Brian if he needed to.
“No, no, no, no!”
Justin was taken aback by Brian’s
outburst. He mentally slapped himself
for once again tromping into the unknown with Brian. Sometimes his mouth worked before his stupid
brain got a chance to bitch slap him into silence.
“Come and sit down Brian.” Justin
touched Brian’s forearm gently.
Brian turned to Justin his face
pale and sweaty. “I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can and I’m right here
you aren’t alone let me help you.”
Justin moved in close and laid his palm lightly on Brian’s cheek so that
they were looking directly into each others eyes. Brian would see it there in his eyes that he
wasn’t alone and never would be.
“It’s coming again.” Brian’s voice
sounded strained as if he had to force the air from his lungs to make it work.
“What is, tell me please. Let me help.”
Justin begged.
“The nothingness it’s taking me
again. Justin don’t leave me I need
you.” Brian pulled Justin to him in
desperation holding on so tight he thought Brian might crush his ribs. In turn he held as tight to Brian as he could
and whispered in his ear praying that Brian heard him before he disappeared
again.
“I love you Brian Kinney and I’ll
be here when you get back.”